Relationships In Pieces III
by MelpomeneTears
Summary: With the Mother gone it is time to deal with bigger fish. Everything is closing in on Alistair, Sareyna and the Wardens. The Architect awaits Morrigan and information about who he really is, the Wardens are closing in on Trelain and Flemeth still seeks her daughter. Involves smut.
1. Chapter 1

**Home Sweet Home**

"Sweet Maker, is that smoke?"

Alistair raised his head; he had been staring at the ground for the last few miles, just trying to keep one foot moving in front of the other. He was exhausted but he had to get back to Sareyna. Seeing the smoke on the horizon he felt his heart lurch in his chest. "Morrigan, do something." His voice was plaintive, but he saw the pained look on her face as well.

Alistair felt magic settle over him like cool water, he felt refreshed and energized. He took off at a run the others following close behind him, aided with Morrigan's rejuvenation and haste spells. Morrigan herself turned into a hawk and flew towards the Keep as fast as she could.

Alistair had tried not to think of the Darkspawn that had been headed to the Keep when he was in Amaranthine, but now, seeing the black column of smoke in front of him he couldn't help but think he should have let Amaranthine burn after all.

If something had happened to Sareyna or Trelain…Maker forbid, he didn't know how he would live with himself. He had told Sareyna over and over again that letting him lead was a terrible idea. His mind cruelly brought him back again and again to Sareyna and how weak she had been when he had left. She was still confused half of the time. He was an idiot to leave her there alone.

He tried calming himself as his feet pounded on the ground; his strides eating up ground almost faster than his brain could process what he was seeing. Alistair knew that Zevran would die before he let anything happen to Sareyna. He clutched at that thought like a drowning man to a piece of driftwood. Sareyna would be fine, Zevran would have protected her.

* * *

Morrigan landed in the courtyard, shifting back to her human form as she landed. She startled the guards, one who shrieked and fell over backwards at the sight of her. Ignoring the guards she scanned the grounds quickly for damage. The evidence of a heavy battle was all around her. Some of the bodies were still in the process of being removed from the courtyard.

She had seen the huge swath of burned ground in front of the Keep and was relieved to see that it didn't extend inside of the gates. The heavy tang of powerful magic still lingered in the air, but she was pretty sure it had been Anders. His magic always reminded her of an icy mountain lake for some reason.

There were a few mossy notes below Anders' magic, that would be Velanna. Morrigan needed answers and strode into the Keep. She grabbed one of the servants as she was passing. "Where is Sareyna?"

The serving girl recoiled from Morrigan's touch and her harsh tone of voice. "In…in her rooms, mistress. But…but she isn't letting anyone in, not even the babe or the King."

Morrigan released the girl and took the stairs two at a time. She tried Sareyna's door but it was locked. "Sareyna let me in."

There was no response from inside. She pounded on the door and still didn't receive a response. "Dammit." She held her hand over the lock and let out a pulse of energy. The lock clicked open and she shoved the door open. She wasn't prepared to see Sareyna in the sitting room.

She was in her armor, hair matted with blood and hanging in strings. She was sitting in a chair, her feet pulled up and her arms wrapped around her knees. The fire was reflected in Sareyna's blank gaze. "Sareyna?" Morrigan moved closer slowly.

Reaching the chair she glanced over Sareyna to see if there were any injuries that needed to be treated. Not seeing anything she let a light spell run over her just to double check. She healed the few scrapes and strained muscles she found, but Sareyna seemed mostly unharmed. Pentheryn was lying on the floor by the chair, he watched Morrigan warily.

She placed her hand gently on Sareyna's arm. "Sareyna?"

Sareyna kept staring into the fire but did finally speak. "Their dead, both of them."

Crouching down beside her Morrigan prompted her again, "Who Sareyna?" Pentheryn's ears perked up and he shifted on the floor.

"I'm like poison."

Morrigan wasn't sure if Sareyna was confused again, or if this somehow made sense to her. She looked helplessly around the room, not sure what to do. She tucked a strand of Sareyna's stringy hair behind her ear, "Stay here, I'll be right back." She stood and looked through the rest of the suite. It was empty.

She went to Zevran's room and then Anders', she didn't find either of them. Anders she could understand, he was most likely helping the injured, but where the Fade was Zevran, why would he leave Sareyna alone like that.

Heading back down the stairs she steeled herself to go find Maric. She had done a fairly good job of avoiding him since she had come to the Keep, but she needed to know what was going on. Taking a deep breath she knocked on Maric's door.

"It's open." The voice coming through the door was strained and a little slurred.

Morrigan pushed open the door, seeing Maric sitting in his rocking chair clutching Trelain to him, the tracks from his tears still staining his cheeks, she felt like someone had kicked her in the stomach. There was no reason for them both to be missing and for Sareyna and Maric both to be so upset unless…She took a small step into the room and Maric looked up at her.

"No! Where are they?"

Maric closed his eyes tight and another tear escaped.

Morrigan turned and bolted from the Keep, she had to get to Alistair before he reached the Keep. He was nearing the gate as she cleared it. He slowed seeing her. She walked towards him and she saw his whole body sag.

"She's…ok, right? Please Morrigan, tell me she's alright."

Morrigan nodded. "She's alive, no injuries."

Alistair looked at her warily. "Who?"

Morrigan was surprised by the strength of her own emotions. She didn't feel that she was particularly close to either of them. She opened her mouth to start a couple of times before she got the words out. "Anders and Zevran."

Alistair looked as if he had been slapped. He suddenly went pale and retched. He had been so consumed with Sareyna's safety; it never even dawned on him that something might have happened to Zevran or Anders. Still bent over at the waist, "Both of them? Are you sure?" He heard the quaver in his voice and was powerless to stop it.

"I'm sorry."

Alistair sat on the ground. "I need a minute." He closed his eyes and tipped his head backwards, he took several slow breaths.

Nathaniel and Oghren quietly walked past Morrigan and Alistair and headed into the courtyard. Morrigan watched Alistair as he tried to gather himself. He seemed to have succeeded several times then she would see a quick flash of anguish touch his face then he would school his face back to calm and start again.

As the minutes ticked by Morrigan wasn't sure what to do. Finally, she sat down on the ground in front of him. He opened his eyes and looked at her. "You don't have to stay, Morrigan. I just…I can't go see her like this."

"No, I want to stay. I…" She looked down at the ground. "I cared for them."

Alistair raised a brow.

"Don't look at me like that Alistair, I have feelings too." She remembered Anders trying to help her improve her healing. He was better even than Flemeth at healing; he was a lot more patient too. Morrigan had been surprised by how much he had been able to teach her. It took him a while to understand the combination of magic she used for it, but once he did he was able to help her find ways to make it work for her. "His cat."

"What?"

"Where do you think his cat would be?"

Alistair closed his eyes and tried not to look annoyed. "I have no idea, Morrigan."

She stood and pulled Alistair up with her. "Come on, Maric is in his room with Trelain, neither of them seem injured at all. Sareyna is in your rooms. She's not doing so well."

"I thought you said she was alright."

"She's not injured, but I think she's in shock. She wasn't making a lot of sense when I went to check on her."

Alistair nodded; she watched him as he inhaled through his nose and exhaled through his mouth.

"Does that really work?"

He shrugged, "Seems to, try it."

She did and as they walked up the Keep steps she turned to him, "I think I feel…not better, but…"

"Calmer."

"Yes." She looked around the main hall as they walked in. "I'm going to go to the basement."

"Any particular reason?"

She gave him a small and very awkward smile. "I'm going to find Pounce."

He returned the smile, "Wow, you just keep surprising me."

"Go take care of 'Reyna for us."

* * *

He nodded and turned to the stairs and headed up towards his room, steeling himself for whatever he would find there. He walked into the room and had to control himself, seeing her covered with blood and curled up like that he just wanted to run to her and hold her tight. But first he had to see how she was doing.

He walked into the room and as he neared the chair Pentheryn lumbered to his feet and barked happily. Then he started licking Alistair's hand like crazy as he neared the chair. Looking contented by Alistair's presence Pentheryn turned and barked at Sareyna and then back at Alistair.

Alistair reached between Pentheryn's ears and gave him a good scratch. "Good boy."

Seemingly mollified, the Mabari laid back down next to the chair, his body a bit less tense then before. Alistair reached forward and took Sareyna's hand. She still wasn't looking at him. "'Reyna, come on, we need to get you cleaned up."

"I'm poison."

Alistair sighed heavily. He loved her, he really did, but the fact that she always blamed herself when something bad happened was very trying at times. "You didn't have anything to do with them dying."

A tear slid down her face. "I did, it's my fault." She continued to stare into the fire as another tear slid free.

Alistair stood up, ready to pull her to her feet. She needed to get clean, she was absolutely filthy. "You and Maric should form a club."

Sareyna's head snapped around and she glared at Alistair. "I give them poison to drink and if they are unlucky enough to survive that I line them up like dominoes in front of the fucking Darkspawn."

"They were both adults, Sareyna."

"Right, and Zevran didn't chose to become a Warden, it happened to him because he was trying to protect us. And Anders' choices were go back to the Circle and be hung or become a Warden."

Alistair pulled her out of the chair and started pulling her towards the bedroom. "Zevran never would have left you, Warden or not."

"Us."

He was working on the buckles on her armor and was about to protest when he remembered the kiss before he had left for Amaranthine. He closed his eyes for a second and swallowed hard. Taking a deep breath he opened them back up and continued to work on her buckles.

"We should have told him to run."

"Told who to run?"

"Anders, when we met him, we should have told him to run."

"Right, because the seventh time is the charm? He would have been dead months ago, that Templar was nuts. She wouldn't have stopped until she had him." He pulled the top of her armor off and started to work on her boots.

When he stood back up he noticed that her gaze was far off. "When was the last time you slept?"

She looked at him slowly, "I don't know. I know Anders made me rest a few times and I dreamt once, but I don't know when that was."

"Alright, I'm going to call for a bath. We're both going to get clean and then we're going to bed. We'll, figure things out when we wake up."

"There's already water in the tub." She furrowed her brow. "It's probably cold now. I'm not sure when they brought it in."

"That's fine." He dragged off the bottom half of her armor and eased her out of her underclothes. She wandered in the direction of the bath and he quickly removed his own armor. As the spells Morrigan had cast wore off he was rapidly getting tired.

It was a good thing the bath was cold; otherwise he might have fallen asleep in it. He vaguely thought he should find out more about what happened at the Keep and what their losses were, but he was just too tired. And a few hours wasn't going to make a difference from what he had seen on the way in.

He climbed into the tub behind Sareyna and started cleaning her hair. She was already working on scrubbing the dirt and gore from her face. He grimaced as he watched the water darkening. Well they might not get clean, but at least they would be less dirty.

He wrapped his arms around Sareyna and hugged her. "I'm so thankful you're alright. I was so scared."

She leaned back against him, relaxing into the hug. "I would have died without you. I don't think I could bear to be alone."

"You wouldn't be alone. You have Maric and Trelain, and the Wardens."

"It's not the same."

He let out his breath slowly, "I know."

"What are we going to do without them?"

"I don't know." He whispered and squeezed her a bit tighter. He really didn't know.


	2. Chapter 2

**Oubliette**

"Where the Fade are we?"

"Someplace dark?"

"You are not being helpful."

"Smells like the Deep Roads."

"How did we get here?"

"We fell."

"Right, but how did we fall into the Deep Roads?"

"Are you alright?"

"I hurt all over, but I think I might have broken my tailbone and maybe my wrist. You?"

"I hurt all over too."

A dull blue light flared to life and started circling Anders' head. He looked off to his left and found Zevran lying on his side, his face scratched and bloody. He was cradling his obviously deformed wrist close to his body. "Sweet Andraste, you look terrible."

"You're not exactly looking that good yourself."

Anders moved to try to get closer to Zev and let out a small scream as a bolt of pain shot through his upper arm. He looked down and saw bone sticking out of his upper arm. He suddenly felt light headed and let his head drop to his chest as he took deep breaths.

"Anders, are you alright? You're not going to pass out are you?"

"No, it just… It's bad, give me a second." He used his good hand to unbuckle the belt around his waist and slid it free.

"What are you doing, do you need help?"

"Can you even move?"

"Yeah, it hurts a bit but I can move." He pushed himself slowly into a sitting position and scooted closer to Anders carefully. "What do you need?"

"I'm going to lean against you in case I pass out."

"What?" Zevran's voice jumped a bit higher.

"I have to clean this before I heal it. It's going to hurt, a lot. I might pass out; I want to lean against you so that if I pass out I don't fall and hit my head or something." He leaned against Zevran's side and Zevran carefully set his broken wrist into his lap then he wrapped his good arm around Anders trying to make sure he wouldn't fall.

Anders put the belt between his teeth and bit down. He used his good hand to create a gentle trickle of water then unwound the energy from a fire spell right under his skin. The water turned to steam and he directed it at the exposed bone, gritting his teeth down on the leather and trying not to scream.

He didn't pass out, but it was a close thing. Exhausted already from the pain he turned to Zevran. "I need you to help me put it back into place."

"What? How are we supposed to do that? We each only have one working arm."

"I know, that's why I need your help. Grab above the break, just hold it still and I'll set the bone."

Still looking uneasy Zevran moved a bit and wrapped his good hand around Anders' upper arm.

"Tight, you can't let it move, it'll be too hard to set otherwise."

* * *

Zevran tightened his grip. He watched as Anders put the belt back between his teeth. Anders took a few deep breaths and grabbed the lower part of his upper arm. He pulled downwards pushing a bit to the side to get the bone to slide back into place. He wasn't able to hold back a scream and Zevran felt a bit nauseous at the sound of the bone scraping together as it slid into place.

When it was finally back in place Anders sagged against Zevran. He looked ashen and was a bit clammy.

"Are you alright?" Zev asked quietly.

"I'm glad my stomach is empty, otherwise I might have lost it, but I'll be okay in a minute." His breaths were shaky; he was obviously still in a lot of pain.

"Do you want me to let go?"

Anders shook his head a little. "Need to hold it in place until I heal it. I just need to rest for a second."

* * *

A couple of minutes later Anders sat up, he worked as quickly as he could with his depleted mana and closed the wound, healing the bone. Once the bone was knitted back together he let go of the belt and moved his weight off of Zevran. There was sweat pouring off his face.

"Are you alright?" Zevran released Anders' arm.

Anders nodded.

"You burned yourself."

"Had to, needed it clean." He was out of breath. The wisp above him started guttering. "Let me see your wrist quick, I think I can fix it."

"No, rest. It can wait. Not like we're going anywhere right?"

"What about Darkspawn?"

"I can't feel any. We're fine. Get some rest."

Anders never would have thought he could fall asleep on the filthy floor of the Deep Roads but within moments of lying down he was fast asleep.

* * *

Zevran wasn't really sure what had happened or how they had ended up where they were. He remembered seeing something flying straight at them, then he had felt as if a giant hand had grabbed him and yanked him downward. He had thought they had fallen and he had just mistaken the jolt at the end for being grabbed, but they were somehow in the Deep Roads.

If they had fallen he should have been able to see the hole where they had fallen through, but above them was solid rock. Whatever had happened had been quite violent, they both were covered with scratches and cuts and they both had broken bones. Granted it was still better than being dead, which is what he had thought was happening.

Zevran was thankful that Anders hadn't healed his wrist yet. The throbbing kept him awake. He was so tired; they had been fighting for so long. His whole body was screaming for sleep, but they were in the Deep Roads. He couldn't feel any Darkspawn nearby but that didn't mean that there weren't other dangers.

He was worried, they were lost in the Deep Roads, somewhere, and they had no provisions other than a bit of water. The Deep Roads were a labyrinth; he had no idea how they were going to find a way out. Realizing he had no weapons on him he started feeling around in the dark to see if he could find his daggers.

He didn't want to move around too much, he was in a lot of pain, but he felt distinctly uncomfortable without his daggers. After searching for a few minutes with no luck he reached into his boot with his good hand and pulled one of his knives free. He mentally said a quick thanks to Sareyna for buying him the boot knives. He had thought it silly at the time, he never went anywhere without his daggers, but he had gotten used to wearing them none the less.

He found himself frustrated that his eyes couldn't get adjusted to the darkness. There was absolutely no light at all, not even enough for his elven eyes to pick up on. So instead he focused on listening. He heard the sound of water dripping somewhere off to the left, it was a very slow drip. Other than that it was just silence.

There was no breeze, nothing moving, just the sound of Anders' breath beside him. Instead of easing his tension he found himself on edge at the lack of sounds. Zevran's gut was clenched tight; he wondered how the Keep was fairing, if they had brought down the ogre yet.

His mind started feeling a bit fuzzy from fatigue and pain. He reached out and touched Anders lightly, he wasn't sure why, perhaps just to assure himself that this was all real. They should be dead, he knew it, he couldn't figure out how they had managed to somehow end up in the Deep Roads. But he was glad to at least have another chance.

He shifted a bit and a bright flare of pain cleared his mind a bit. He jerked his head abruptly, there was sound coming from his right, it was distant and quiet, but it was there. It wasn't Darkspawn; he didn't feel the telltale buzz in his head, not a Warden either.

He sat very still blocking out the sound of Anders breathing beside him. He furrowed his brow, what was it? It seemed small, it was making snuffling noises and its steps were odd and irregular. As it got closer Zevran suddenly let out a laugh.

He had been so tense and worried over a nug. Zevran's hearing let him figure out where it was and as it approached he threw his knife. There was a yelp and a thud. Zevran moved slowly, each breath, each movement causing pain, over to where the nug lay dead.

He had no idea how long they would be down there and they had no food with them. He retrieved his knife, but soon realized there was no way he could gut the animal with a broken wrist. In the blackness of the Deep Roads it was difficult to tell how much time had passed. He decided he could wait a bit before waking Anders, but he would need to wake him soon to either heal his wrist, or to gut the nug if he didn't have enough mana yet.

Zevran leaned back against the wall behind him, wincing at the pain in his tailbone. Purposely relaxing his too tense muscles, he let his mind reach out; he needed to find the Wardens. If he couldn't find them the two of them could easily die trying to find a way out.

Sareyna had been a Warden longer than anyone else at the Keep so he focused on trying to feel her, to find that particular vibration that was her, high and sharp. He pinched the bridge of his nose with his good hand, trying again to clear his mind. His head was throbbing now.

In the dark, in the silence, he sat vigil over Anders as he slept. He couldn't feel any Wardens besides Anders, but he was struggling to keep a clear mind. He felt as if there was a heavy fog in his head, preventing him from seeing what he needed.

Finally, he gave in and woke Anders up. His body was screaming in pain and his mind was trying to drag him into sleep and he couldn't resist its pull any longer. "Anders," he touched his shoulder gently and gave him a small nudge. "Anders, wake up."

Anders shifted and mumbled. When Zevran shook him again a small wisp appeared above his head and his eyes slowly opened, he yawned as he sat up.

"Sorry, but I can't stay awake anymore. I need a bit of rest."

"No, no I feel much better." He stretched his arms out for a moment, yawning again. "Here let me see your wrist."

Zevran carefully moved it so that Anders could reach it. The mage winced at seeing it.

"I have to set it first."

"I know, where's your belt?"

"Oh, uh," he turned looking around and found it lying on the ground. He picked it up and sent a short blast of water over it before handing it over to Zevran.

Zevran bit down on the belt and closed his eyes. In his experience these things went better if you couldn't see it coming. You could resist the urge to pull away better that way. He felt Anders wrap a hand carefully around his forearm; the other hand grabbed his hand right below the wrist.

Zevran let out a small strangled cry as he felt pain flare bright in his lower arm. He couldn't control a shudder as he felt bone scrape against bone as they moved back into place. The pain was momentary as he felt Anders' cool healing energy move into the arm.

When Anders was done Zevran stretched out his arm and wiggled his fingers. "Thank you."

Anders nodded, "Hold still for a minute."

Anders' healing energy flared bright then cascaded over his body. Zevran couldn't help but let out a happy sigh as the pains in his body were soothed. "That's nice."

Anders smiled, "I'm just glad I can heal, can you imagine what would have happened if I couldn't?" His energy flared bright again as he let it cascade over himself. "Hmm, that _is_ nice."

Zevran couldn't help but laugh at Anders. He stretched like a cat when he was done healing himself. He turned to Zevran and grabbed his chin turning his head away. His wisp moved closer to Zevran's face.

"What are you doing?"

"Making sure I didn't damage your tattoo."

Zevran chuckled. "We're probably going to die down here lost and forgotten and you're worried about my tattoo?"

Anders smiled, "You know what they say about leaving a good looking corpse."

Zevran laughed again. "I know this is a terrible thing to say, but I'm glad it's you I'm trapped down here with."

Anders gave him a lascivious grin, "At least we won't get bored."

Zevran shook his head and smiled, "You're a good man, Anders."

Anders' look turned sour, "Let's keep it light, alright?"

Zevran nodded, he gestured over to the nug on the ground a few feet away. "Do you know how to gut and clean an animal?"

"How did you kill a nug in the dark?" Anders asked, eyes wide.

"Elven hearing."

"Elven hearing or not, that's impressive. But to answer your question, yes I can clean an animal."

"I need a bit of sleep, but why don't you clean the nug."

"We're going to eat it raw?"

"Unless you can figure out how to cook it without burning it with your magic, we need food, Anders."

"Right, I'll take care of it, get some rest."

Zevran nodded and handed Anders his knife. He turned his back to Anders' light and laid down, his head clear and his body pain free. He slipped quickly into sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Picking Up The Pieces**

Alistair awoke to the sounds of Sareyna crying. He rolled over to see her curled into a ball, her face buried in her pillow. He reached out and stroked her back gently. "Come here, hun."

She turned and wrapped herself around Alistair. She buried her face in his neck and he stroked her back gently as she cried. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Her speech was muffled with her face nestled against his neck, but she seemed disinclined to move. "I didn't see it. Maric told me, he's…I don't know, he blames himself. He was going after the ogre when it ripped out a chunk of earth and hurled it at the wall where Anders and Zevran were standing."

"They weren't fighting next to you?"

"No, they were on the wall so Anders could cast and Zevran was protecting him from anything that came near. I was fighting with Maric."

"They should have stayed with you, they promised they would."

"Ali, you weren't here. Anders saved us all; we wouldn't be alive at all if it wasn't for him. He's a hero." Alistair was quiet, stroking her hair; she shifted against him and placed a kiss on his chin. "You should have seen him, it was amazing. You would have been so proud of him."

Alistair winced, he was proud of Anders. Not only did he routinely save all of their lives but he kept things lighthearted when everything felt a little too doom and gloom for even Alistair to make jokes. He was an amazing man and Alistair was proud to call him brother, both as a Warden and as blood family.

"We should build a memorial or something."

"We lost Velanna too, and a lot more of the Keep's soldiers. We're going to need to start recruiting right away." She pushed herself up and started sliding towards the edge of the bed.

Alistair reached out and pulled her back to him. "Where are you going?"

"I need to start getting things back in order. This…" she shook head. "It's a total disaster. How bad was Amaranthine hit?"

"It wasn't good, but it will recover. You need to rest Sareyna, your still not completely better."

"There's too much to do, I've spent too much time crying like a child anyways." She pushed out of his grip and quickly climbed out of the bed. Looking down at herself she made a face. "I'm still covered in gunk."

Alistair was on his feet now as well. "Yeah, the bath water got dirty pretty quickly. We were both covered in crud. I'll have another sent up."

Sareyna nodded and headed towards the wardrobe. Alistair sighed, if work made her feel better so be it. He wasn't sure what to do either, he felt a bit lost. The prospect of facing everyday without Zevran or Anders weighed heavy on him. Closing his eyes he took a deep breath, he would have to talk to Maric today as well. It didn't sound as if he was doing much better than Sareyna. He slipped into a dressing gown and headed to the hall to look for one of the servants. Finding one scurrying down the hall he called out. "Excuse me?"

The boy turned and looked at Alistair, "Yes, ser?"

"Could you have another bath brought up please? Also, do you know where my son is?"

"Yes, ser right away. I believe he is still with the king."

Alistair nodded, "Thank you." He watched as the boy took off down the hall again.

He headed towards the wardrobe and found Sareyna sitting on the floor absently petting Pentheryn as she stared at the clothes. She looked up at the sound of him entering.

"Pentheryn and I can't decide on what to wear." She stood and moved to the hanging clothes. She picked up a pair of leather trousers and a pair of dark wool ones as well. "Which one says 'I'm here to work, we'll make it through this.' To you?"

Pointing at the leather trousers he responded, "Those would be better, they'll protect you a bit from all the detritus."

She nodded and placed them off to the side, hanging the woolen ones back up. She scanned through her clothes, nothing seemed right. She turned to Alistair again. "Some leader I am, I can't even decide what to wear."

He smiled and walked across the room. He hugged her then moved off to the side a bit and pulled a dark blue woolen tunic out as well as a leather vest. "Here, wear these."

She took the clothes, "Any reason why?"

"You look confident, but ready to get down to work. Besides, you like blue."

She smiled and set the clothes down with the trousers before rummaging for some smalls. They heard the door to the bathing chamber open as maids started bringing fresh water for their bath. Alistair pulled some clothes free and set them near Sareyna's.

"Any idea where to start?"

He shrugged, "No, not really."

"Me either. Let's get Varel, Nathaniel and Maric together and see what they suggest. Wait, Nathaniel is ok right? Maker, I didn't even ask!"

"Yes, everyone that went with me is fine, thanks to Morrigan. You should see what she can do now, it's amazing. Did you know she does blood magic now?"

Sareyna nodded, "It came up."

"Right, but that's just a little of it. She was incinerating Darkspawn like they were scraps of parchment." He shook his head. "It was amazing, and frightening."

"I'm glad she went with you then." She sat back on the floor petting Pentheryn.

Alistair settled on the floor next to her. "So am I. We ran into that Darkspawn again, the one from the mines."

"And?"

"And he's trying to stop the Blights. He wants to free the Darkspawn from the Old gods call so they can think for themselves and not be compelled to strictly follow. It's Renault, I know it is, but he doesn't remember. It was all a bit odd. He needs Warden blood to free the Darkspawn and claims that the attack on the Vigil was just a misunderstanding.

Apparently, they were coming just to ask for our help. But he also thought that all the Wardens were dead. When I mentioned that man in the mine, the one with the crushed legs, he seemed genuinely surprised. I don't think he has as firm a grasp on the freed Darkspawn as he thinks he does.

But he agreed to try to help you and…Morrigan is going to meet him in the mine in a month to see if they can come up with something together, to help both sides. You should have seen the broodmother we faced; she was ugly, and clearly nuts. And she could cast spells.

The Architect, that's what he calls himself, freed her and apparently she went nuts."

Sareyna nodded, "Makes sense, can you imagine not being able to move at all and not having anything to keep you comfortably numb anymore? That would likely drive anyone mad."

"Maybe, but I got the distinct impression that she was nuts long before that happened. Maybe from when she was turned, like Hespith, or maybe she was always like that."

Sareyna stood and stretched, "I think they're done. I need to get clean, I feel gross."

Alistair grinned, "You look good to me."

She snorted and headed towards the bathing chamber. The tub was full with steaming water and she slowly eased herself into the water, sighing gratefully as it enveloped her. She rested back against the stone side and relaxed a bit. Alistair eased in across from her, his sigh of contentment mirroring her own.

* * *

They were sitting in Sareyna's office, all clean but all looking decidedly haggard. Maric still looked weepy and still held Trelain. When Alistair had tried taking him earlier Maric had looked crushed so Alistair just let him hold the boy. Maric was struggling; he really thought it was his fault Anders and Zevran had died. No amount of talking could convince him otherwise. He wasn't fast enough and that was that as far as he was concerned.

Varel seemed to have aged a good ten years. He had bags under his eyes and his whole face seemed a bit ashen. Alistair had never seen the man without armor on before, but he was sitting in his chair wearing a dark colored, loose fitting tunic and matching trousers. His boots were well worn leather.

Alistair watched as the man took a deep breath and pushed back his hair for about the twentieth time. Garavel sat next to him, still in armor but looking a bit overwhelmed. He hadn't been head of the soldiers for very long, Alistair wondered if the Keep's heavy losses were weighing on the man.

Even Nathaniel seemed somehow broken. But it was the second time he had seen his home attacked in less than a year. Having your home attacked felt different; it was such a horrible intrusion. Alistair could understand that, he felt the same way right now. Like his home had been violated and desecrated by those Darkspawn.

He kept returning back to Zevran's words before he left. _"Because I might not ever get the chance again." _He had been annoyed at the time, now he just wished he could have that moment back, as awkward and weird as it had been. He would give anything to have Zevran back.

In all the time the three of three of them had been together he had always thought of Zevran and Sareyna's relationship. They were close, oddly so at times, but he had never thought of how attached he had become to Zevran. He never really thought about how much he relied on Zevran and how much more relaxed he felt with Zevran there because Zevran was _always_ there.

And now there was nothing. It hadn't been that long and already he couldn't stop listening for his laughter to ring down the hall. Or for him to sneak up and scare the crap out of him. Zevran loved to make Alistair jump. He even missed the man's lascivious looks and lewd comments.

He felt oddly empty. Not that he didn't miss Anders, he did, but it was different. Anders had been his brother, someone he had been getting to know and someone whose company he enjoyed a lot, and of course Anders was their savior. Pretty much every person in the Keep owed their life, or the life of a loved one to Anders.

But his relationship with Zevran was…different. He had no idea what to call it. If felt closer than friends, it was like family, but not. And there was the odd sexuality of it. No, there wasn't really a word for his relationship with Zevran. But he would miss it, as much as he missed him.

"Do we have a casualty report?"

Alistair's head snapped up at the sound of Sareyna's voice.

"We're working on it. Men are clearing rubble looking for any more bodies; we have a few people missing still." Garevel's voice was quiet but clear as he spoke.

"Alright, get that to me as soon as you can. Have they found…" She paused a moment and looked to Alistair, he flashed her a small smile for encouragement. "Anders and Zevran yet?"

"No, ma'am there is a lot of rubble to clear there."

"And Velanna?"

Garavel looked at Varel who nodded. Garavel turned back to Sareyna, "We cleared all the rubble, we found the Hurlock and her daggers, but she wasn't there."

Sareyna shook her head, "What do you mean she wasn't there?"

"We couldn't find a body. We cleared everything in the area just to make sure, she wasn't there."

"Alright, that's a new one." She turned to Varel, "How bad is the damage?"

"Not as bad as it could have been. The work that Voldrick did really helped, his crew is already heading to the Wending Woods with a few soldiers to get more granite for repairs."

"Can we afford to have soldiers with them?"

"Pardon me for saying so ma'am, but we need the repairs done."

Sareyna nodded, "Right, anything else?"

Nathaniel spoke up. "The wounded are being treated, there are a few serious injuries but most should survive. Morrigan is keeping careful watch for any cases of Blight sickness, but so far so good. I wrote up and sent out orders to replace broken equipment that is irreparable. Wade is working on repairs for the soldiers' weapons and armor."

"I'm sure he's thrilled by that."

"Oddly, no complaining, I think it's because he survived. I also sent out notices to all the Banns that we are recruiting new soldiers. With any luck we'll start to see some volunteers before too long. I sent a summons to Lord Eddlebrek, I want him to come take a look at the land outside the Keep to see if there is anything we can do to help it recover faster. If anyone would know, he would."

"He wasn't here during the attack?"

Nathaniel looked at Alistair, "No, apparently all the nobles hightailed it out of here after we left."

"I would have thought they would have stayed here. I mean with the Darkspawn army travelling across the countryside and all."

"It doesn't matter, we having more pressing issues."

Nathaniel and Alistair stilled at the sound of Sareyna's voice.

"Alistair I want you to meet with Shannon, see if she needs anything. Nathaniel you speak with Eveleen. Varel can you handle the household staff?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good, Garavel I'm going to need a report from you on anything the guards need, the sooner the better. Alistair, please deal with the stable master. I don't know what he's talking about half the time."

"Will do."

Sareyna sighed heavily, "I'll deal with Woolsey." She turned back to Garavel, "Also, would you mind drawing me up a list of possible replacements for constable Aiden?"

"Bann Esmerelle isn't going to like that." He cautioned.

"Bann Esmerelle can kiss my ass. That man is incompetent and I want him replaced. I want it to be someone we can trust to do the job properly and can handle being an authority figure. Someone who will work in the best interests of Amaranthine and not the nobility."

"I will have a list by the end of the day."

"I think we're done then."

Varel and Garavel stood and left. Nathaniel sat for a minute, clearly thinking about something.

"Something on your mind Nathaniel?" Sareyna looked at him expectantly.

"I have a way to get around Bann Esmerelle, but it is a bit underhanded."

"Let's hear it."

"Well being as we're in a bit of a crisis throughout the whole Arling, you could create a new position. A special envoy of sorts to handle all things related to the well being of the city, including the guard."

Sareyna smiled, "Nathaniel, if I wasn't afraid Morrigan would turn me into a toad, I would kiss you."

Nathaniel gave a soft chuckle.

"Bann Esmerelle won't have a problem with that?"

Sareyna smiled at Alistair, "It doesn't matter whether she likes it or not. As Arlessa it is my job to see to the well being of the Arling, including the city. That includes the appointment of special offices in times of crisis." She laughed. "I might just set up a few with some of the other Bann's as well."

Maric spoke for the first time. "It's a good idea; it will help keep some of the requests out of the Keep. With everything that just happened you are going to have the whole Arling clamoring for your assistance."

Sareyna nodded and turned back to Nathaniel, "Can you work with Garavel to set up a list and see where you two think we would most benefit from these special envoys."

"Have I told you yet, I'm glad you're dealing with Woolsey?"

Maric nodded and grinned at Alistair's statement, "She is one tough old bird."

"That's alright; she hasn't seen me lose my temper yet. We have the money, we need to do these things and she will give it to me or I'll send her back to the First Warden, neatly packed into a box and all wrapped up with a bow."

All three men laughed. Nathaniel rose, "I'll go speak with Garavel."

As he left Maric turned to Sareyna and Alistair. "How are the two of you?"

"Heartbroken." Sareyna spoke softly. Alistair, sitting beside her, nodded in agreement.

"Decided to keep busy?"

"There's nothing else we can do until we find the bodies. We're having a ceremony later this afternoon, Varel is putting it together. But until all the rubble is cleared…well we're stuck. Might as well get to the work that needs to be done. Can't really afford to have the Arlessa fall to pieces."

"How are you doing?"

Maric nodded, "I lost one of my guards, and I'm not dealing with…Anders…very well, I'm afraid. I kidnapped your son." He looked down at Trelain snuggled in his arms. "I can't seem to give him up." He gave them a sad smile.

"I'm sure he appreciates time with his grandfather. I can't imagine how frightened he must have been with everything that was going on."

"Did I tell you he took his first steps?"

Alistair leaned forward in his chair, "What? When?"

"It was a few weeks ago, but things have been so crazy here, I didn't get a chance to tell you. Which reminds me, Sloan has been in a near panic since we came inside. He says he needs to speak with both of you as soon as possible."

Sareyna cocked her head and raised her voice. "Sloan?"

Sloan came into the room immediately. "Ma'am."

"You needed to speak with Alistair and I?"

He flicked his gaze to the King, "Pardon me sers, but it is a personal matter for the Commander and Lieutenant, I think it would be better to speak with them alone."

Maric nodded, "I'm getting hungry anyways. I think I'll go bother Shannon, see if she'll let me steal a snack before mealtime." He rose, still holding Trelain and left the three in the room.

* * *

"Please, sit Sloan, what's the matter."

Sloan walked to the door, closing and locking it before heading back to the chairs and sitting in one. "I'm sorry, but I am not sure who should hear this." He looked nervously between them. "Your son, he has magic I'm afraid. During the battle he had a green light pulsing around him."

"Wait, who saw this?" Alistair had heard all the Keep's children had been put into one room so they would be easier to protect.

"Just me, I think. I kept the bassinet close to me and made everyone else, even Eveleen, stay towards the back of the room." He swallowed thickly. "He stopped glowing as soon as the sounds of battle stopped, before anyone even came to tell us it was over. I have never seen anything like it. I wasn't sure if it was alright for anyone to know. You know how people can be."

Sareyna nodded, it seemed they would not be able to keep that part of Trelain hidden for much longer. "Thank you for telling us Sloan. For now we'll just keep it quiet, obviously we have to let Eveleen know." She sighed and sat back in her chair, "And Maric, but other than that, no one. Understood?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Thank you, Sloan."

"Just doing my job Commander. I would like to go back and watch him now if you don't mind."

"Actually, just go get him and Eveleen now if you don't mind." Sareyna gave him a reassuring smile, or as close as she could get in her current frazzled state.

Sloan stood and nodded, "Of course." He quickly headed for the door.

"Fantastic, just what we needed, more to worry about."

"They can't take him to the Circle, he's too young."

"Have you ever heard of anyone that young showing signs of magic? I mean I know Anders said he could feel it but…"

"Not during the whole time I trained as a templar. Most manifest around eight or nine. The youngest I have heard of was four. She was from a family that had a lot of mages in it though."

Sareyna leaned her head against the back of the chair and closed her eyes. Today was just beginning and already felt like it was never going to end.


	4. Chapter 4

**Blind Leading The Blind**

Zevran woke up to the smell of cooking meat. He turned and sat up yawning and stretching.

"You've barely been asleep for an hour, why are you getting up?"

"Hungry." Zev mumbled as he moved closer to the fire. He scowled, "What's burning?"

"It's grease, not terribly practical, I have to keep adding more, but it's not like we have anything else."

"Is that my dagger?"

"One of them, the other is…embedded in the wall, I couldn't get it out." He let his wisp flare bright for a moment and gestured to the wall where part of the hilt of Zevran's dagger was sticking out of the wall at an odd angle.

Zevran grimaced, he loved that dagger. Then he made a face and looked back at Anders, "How the Void did it end up in the wall?"

Anders looked a bit uncomfortable, "I think I might have done a spell."

"No shit."

"Except, I hadn't completely learned it yet. I just remember thinking we had to get away and then we were laying on the floor in the Deep Roads." He shrugged. "It was the roots spell that Velanna uses."

"That's why it felt like being grabbed."

"Yeah, but it's not meant for two people and like I said, I hadn't really gotten it down yet." He looked at the wall. "At least all of _us_ landed in the Deep Roads."

Zevran moved closer to the wall and examined his dagger more closely. Nope, there was absolutely no way he was going to be able to get that free. He checked his boot and his other knife was there. He felt a little better, two knives and a dagger, which was currently being used to skewer and cook meat.

Zevran shook his head, his poor daggers, the indignities they had to face. He shifted closer to the fire again and watched as Anders slowly cooked the meat. When Anders declared it done they cut the piece he had been cooking in half and tore into it.

And tear was the right word, the nug was tough and rubbery, no wonder they boiled them before cooking them. It was a bit bland, but it was food and Zevran ate his in a manner of minutes. He sighed contentedly when he was done.

"Do you need me?"

Anders shook his head, still working on his piece of nug. "No, I'm going to eat then cook the rest of this up." He handed the waterskin to Zevran.

Zevran took a long pull on it before laying back down, "Thanks." He mumbled, body already falling asleep.

* * *

He woke up hours later, his body stiff from lying on the hard stone. Standing, he stretched a bit waking up his muscles. The wisp sprang back to life above Anders head.

"Feel better?"

"Much, thank you."

Anders nodded, "We should get moving."

"The question is where."

"Doesn't make much difference, we can't just sit here though."

Zevran sighed, Anders was right, but if they picked the wrong way they might die. He was really out of his element in the Deep Roads; he had no sense of direction at all down there. There was nothing to judge by, no sun or moon, no stars. And everything looked exactly the same no matter where you looked.

He sat back down on the ground; he would try to see if he could feel the Wardens again. As he sat Anders handed him back his dagger.

"I found my staff."

"Where was it?"

"Is it." He pointed at the ceiling and let the wisp brighten considerably. "I cracked my head on it."

Zevran chuckled seeing a good three feet of Anders staff hanging down from the ceiling.

"It's not funny; I could have broken my nose or something."

"Can you imagine if these passages are ever used again? I wonder what they would think about a dagger in the wall and a staff in the ceiling."

Anders started laughing, "I would love to see their faces."

Zevran sat back against the wall. "Do you think we moved away from the Keep when you used that spell?"

"I really don't know."

"Alright, let's assume we didn't, which direction do you think the Keep is from where we are?"

Anders looked behind him briefly then pointed in the opposite direction. "We were facing the Keep when it happened and we both landed with our heads facing the other way, so I think the Keep would be that way."

Zevran closed his eyes and tried to focus his concentration in that direction. For a second he thought he felt something but then it was gone and it was too faint to be sure if it was Warden's or Darkspawn. Either way, they were heading in that direction. "I think there's something, but I'm not sure what. We need to try to get closer."

"Shouldn't you be able to feel them? I mean you're better at detecting Wardens and Darkspawn than Alistair or Sareyna."

"I know, that's why I'm worried." He stood and dusted himself off the best he could. "We should get going."

Anders stood and placed a piece of fabric in the small pouch he carried around his waist.

"What's that?"

"The rest of the nug, the cloth isn't that clean, I was wiping my hands on it during the battle so I wouldn't drop the lyrium flasks, but it was the only thing I had."

"Good thinking." Zevran slid his dagger into one of his sheaths and headed down the corridor, praying they would find a way out.

* * *

They travelled in silence for several hours, Zevran still not really feeling anything concrete, every so often he would feel a slight buzz, but it was distant and indistinct. Good luck seemed to be on their side at least a little; they didn't come across any Darkspawn, or deep stalkers or any of the other nasties that inhabited the Deep Roads.

"You know Zev, I've been thinking, this could work in our favor."

"How's that?" He was only vaguely listening to Anders as he kept his senses open.

"Well, when we get back think of how much sex we can get out of this. First we can get 'yay you're not dead sex' then we can parlay that into sympathy sex. It's going to be beautiful."

Zevran chuckled, "We should keep a running tally, see how many people we can get to sleep with us just based on that."

"You're a terrible man."

"You brought it up."

"But not as a contest, besides, you would lose."

"You keep telling yourself that mage."

"You think having the hero return from the dead would be enough to impress Velanna?"

Zevran furrowed his brow, "Velanna? Really?"

Anders shrugged next to him. "She's a challenge, she hates everyone. It would be one hell of a feather in your cap."

Zevran shook his head, "Oh no, I don't want anything to do with her. She's a bit too unstable for me. But, if you want a challenge totally worth the time, I suggest Sigrun."

"That good, eh?"

"Well, I don't like to kiss and tell."

"Liar."

"But, she was…pretty damn amazing, and nimble."

Anders hummed speculatively, "Sigrun huh? I don't know, you've already been with her."

"Since when has that stopped you?"

"True."

"Or maybe you're more of a mind to share; I don't think she would be against it."

"Maker Zev, you're going to give me a heart attack in the middle of the Deep Roads. It's not healthy for a man to picture those things about a dwarf that looks that damn cute."

"She may be cute, but trust me she is not innocent, do not make that mistake my friend."

* * *

They fell silent again until they came to a staircase. Zevran looked it over briefly, it looked pretty solid. "Let's head up."

Anders looked around for a minute, "Are you sure?"

Zevran rolled his eyes. "Yes, everything is up from here. These stairs go up, so we're going up them."

"Right, fine."

"What's gotten in to you?"

"I don't really like the Deep Roads, or any dark enclosed space, really. It makes me uncomfortable. The longer we're down here the more closed in the place feels."

"Then let's keep moving, hopefully this will lead someplace useful." They both quickly jogged up the steps and Zevran let out a long sigh as they came to another corridor, pretty much the exact same as the one they had just left. "Well that didn't help as much as I was hoping."

"Let's keep moving in the same direction. Maybe we'll find more stairs." Anders tried to sound hopeful, but he could hear a distinct whine in his voice.


	5. Chapter 5

**Round Three**

Eveleen had left the room in quiet shock after Sareyna had explained that Trelain had magic and that it was going to be kept a secret. At least she hadn't argued or been scared by the thought that the boy had magic, she seemed mostly concerned for the boy's safety.

Maric was staring into the fireplace, his jaw set and back rigid. Sareyna recognized the pose; Alistair did the same thing when he was expecting an argument. She gritted her own teeth, already aggravated before Maric even opened his mouth.

"If he has magic, he's going to the Circle."

"No, he isn't."

Maric turned and looked at her. "I am the _King_. I can't knowingly break the law."

"Then leave. Tell the Chantry if you must, but know that any Templars that come will be slain on sight."

Maric blanched, "You can't do that, it would start a war."

"You're probably right, but it doesn't change the fact that I would do it."

"You're putting me in an awkward position."

"Honestly, Maric, I don't care. He's my son and he isn't going anywhere. Do what you feel you need to."

"All mages go to the Circle Sareyna; it's not going to kill him."

Sareyna clenched her hands into fists. "Have you forgotten your conversations with Anders already?"

Maric looked guilty for a moment. "No, but there will be changes."

Sareyna raised a brow, "When?"

He shook his head sadly, "I don't know when, these things take time."

"And in the meantime you want to separate a child as young as Trelain from his family and put him under the care of soldiers?"

"They aren't all bad, 'Reyna."

Sareyna felt the fury rising in her and was unable to control it. "But yet you would risk sending your grandson to live with people like that mad woman who couldn't wait to kill Anders?"

Maric was silent.

"He's not going. He's my son and he's staying here. If you have a problem with it, there is no reason for you to be here."

With that she turned and left the room. There was no use in arguing further. Maric would do what he thought was necessary and so would she.

* * *

Sareyna descended the stairs and headed to the kitchens.

"Sareyna, it's wonderful to see you. We've missed you."

Sareyna cracked a small smile. "Morning, Shannon."

Shannon disappeared into the larder then came back with a small basket filled with cookies. "Here, try some of these."

"I should really have breakfast first."

"Hush child, these are oatmeal cookies, they are breakfast."

Sareyna chuckled, "Well, if you put it that way." Sareyna took a handful of cookies and settled down on a small stool.

"Rough morning?"

Sareyna sighed, "I'm so tired of fighting Shannon, with weapons and with words. Sometimes it feels like my whole existence is just a series of altercations."

Shannon moved Sareyna to a small table in the corner of the kitchen and sat her down on one of the stools; she sat down on the other. "I've been around fighting men my whole life. You handle it better than any of them ever did."

Sareyna gave the cook a small smile, "That's because I'm a woman."

Shannon chuckled, "I have no doubt of that." She sighed a little, "You have given so much to this country. You defeated the Blight and got rid of a would-be despot. You came to the Vigil and saved lives as soon as you arrived and have spent your time since then saving the entire Arling. Not to mention rebuilding an order and building a family. Maybe you and the Lieutenant should take a trip, a vacation somewhere."

Sareyna gave Shannon an indulgent smile. "They really don't give Wardens vacations Shannon."

Shannon got a little gleam in her eyes. "Then don't tell the Wardens, seems to me there is a whole new section of the Deep Roads to be explored. Maybe you just left to look into it."

Sareyna chuckled, "Thought of everything have you?"

Shannon shrugged, "Master Howe is a good man."

"He is." She paused for a moment. "I'll take it under advisement, thank you Shannon."

Shannon nodded and got up to clear off the large work table in the middle of the room. Sareyna closed her eyes, her mind wandering over her recent argument with Maric. She decided she would write to Fergus and see if he could convince the king to return to Denerim. It would be strange to have him gone, but she really didn't like the idea of putting his reign in jeopardy. He was a good king, and she would do her best not to taint his name.

Sareyna arose and headed towards Mistress Woolsey's office. She wanted to get this over with quickly, there were at least a dozen other things she could occupy herself with today. As she crossed main hall she heard Lord Eddlebrek's brusque voice raised in ire.

"Ah, there she is. Commander, you cannot just summon me like some peasant. I am not at your beck and call."

Sareyna took a deep breath, deciding to try diplomacy first. She had spent half her life being schooled in it; she might as well use it at some point. "Thank you for coming on such short notice; we have dire need of your expertise."

"There are things at home that I should be taking care of." He was practically looking down his nose at her.

"I understand, and again, I appreciate you taking time out of your busy schedule to assist us here."

Eddlebrek snorted, "You damaged your own lands and now want help bailing yourself out. If you had more respect for the land, your people wouldn't be in danger of starving."

Sareyna gritted her teeth but held her tongue.

"Let's get going then, so I can get back home."

"I'll be back in just a moment. I have one quick thing to take care of before we head out." She turned to Nate who she had just noticed standing several feet behind Eddlebrek, "Have them saddle up my horse please? And have then saddle one up for you as well."

"You're bringing him?" Eddlebrek was incensed.

Nathaniel took a small step backwards. "There's no need Commander. I will have them saddle your horse. I'm sure Lord Eddlebrek can answer any questions you might have."

Sareyna thought briefly of letting it slide, but Nathaniel was not his father and she would not have her nobles think that it was alright to disrespect him. "Nathaniel will be joining us."

"But Commander…"

"Perhaps you should call me by my proper title _Arlessa __**Theirin**_."

Eddlebrek looked confused. "Perhaps, it would be best if I spoke with your husband."

"I'm not sure how the former Arl operated. But I am the Arlessa now and this Arling belongs to the Grey Wardens. I am Commander of the Grey, hence I, not my husband, run this Arling. You and all of your Bann answer to me. If I call you to come assist with something, you come. If I tell you one of the Wardens will be accompanying us, then they will do so, and you will be respectful.

Now, if that is too complicated I will be more than happy to petition the King for someone who is actually capable of being a Bann to take over your farmland. I will not have incompetent people in charge of such important resources. Do not confuse the fact that I am a woman with the idea that I am not in charge of this Arling. Am I understood?"

Eddlebrek had colored and was staring at her with his mouth hanging open.

Nathaniel stood behind him, seemingly caught between amusement and horror.

Eddlebrek finally stammered out, "Y..yes, Arlessa. I…apologize."

Sareyna gave him a bright smile. "Excellent, now wait here. I will return shortly." She turned quickly on her heel, still seething. She pushed Mistress Woolsey's door open, not bothering with knocking.

"Ah Commander, I was about to come see you about these requisitions." She gestured to a small pile of parchment on the corner of her desk, "I cannot possibly approve all of the requisitions, so I need to know which ones you would like to give priority."

"Approve them all."

Mistress Woolsey scowled, "Need I remind you Commander, that I control the treasury?"

Sareyna sneered at the older woman. "I am Commander and Arlessa, I out rank you, twice. Approve the reqs."

"My authority comes directly from the First Warden."

"The First Warden can go fuck himself. This is my Maker forsaken Keep, these are my Wardens and that is my blighted treasury. Now approve the reqs or you will be visiting the First Warden from the comfort of a pine box, got it?"

Woolsey bristled. "Well, I never!"

"Get used to it." Sareyna left, slamming the door behind her. She strode down the hall with long purposeful strides. "Now, Lord Eddlebrek, I believe we were going for a ride to take a look at the damage, yes?"

Eddlebrek nodded and remained silent; suffering the Arlessa's wrath once was more than enough for him apparently.


	6. Chapter 6

**Pounce**

Morrigan sat on the floor in her room. She had her knees pulled up and leaned against the end of her bed as she watched Pounce. He was sniffing the food she had placed down for him warily. His tail twitched in agitation and he turned again towards the door.

Morrigan made a small noise of frustration, "He's gone, Pounce, I'm sorry. You need to eat something."

The cat stared at her, head canted to the side as if weighing what she said. Then suddenly he meowed loudly and ran from the room. No doubt she would find him in the basement again. She had at first thought he had gone there to escape the noise from the fighting, but she could not understand why he continued to return there again and again.

She dragged herself to her feet; she wished she could understand the animals that she could shift into. She quickly shifted into a cat and padded out of her room and down the hall, speeding silently back to the basements.

Curled against one of the doors was Pounce, he was sitting comfortably and cleaning himself. He gave her a baleful glare as she approached. When she got a bit closer she felt sudden charge in the air, she took a wary step backward, shifting back into herself.

"What?" She sounded as well as felt a bit confused. She looked around the small basement room. Where had that come from? Not sure where exactly the flash of energy had come from she resolved to get Pounce and leave quickly.

As she neared him she again felt the prickle of energy in the air. She squatted down near him and ran her fingers through the air a few inches away from him. "It's you." She breathed in awe.

The cat seemed unperturbed as he continued to clean himself. Morrigan thought back to the demon who had been trapped by Wilhelm, and had chosen the shape of a cat to inhabit this realm. But Ser Pounce-a-lot didn't feel like a demon. In fact, she wasn't sure exactly what he was; he didn't feel like a benign Fade spirit either.

Morrigan sat on the floor and watched the…cat. "What are you, little one?"

Ser Pounce-a-lot meowed loudly before returning to cleaning himself.

"Did Anders know your secret, I wonder?"

The cat looked up at the mention of Anders' name. He brushed against Morrigan's leg then returned to the door and meowed again, patting the door with his paw. Morrigan stood and tried the door, it was locked, she released a little pulse of energy to open the lock.

As soon as the door was opened Pounce darted through. Morrigan quickly followed, wondering what the cat was looking for. She explored the area carefully even as Pounce sat waiting impatiently for the next door to be opened. Morrigan followed him until they came to what had obviously been a prison of sorts.

Looking through a room off to the side of it, she found that it was a crypt. Morrigan sighed heavily. Obviously, this was a fairly old part of the Keep. Heading back to the room with the holding cells in it she picked up Pounce. "Sorry Pounce, but it's time to get back to the Keep. We can come back another time."

Pounce wiggled in her grip, trying to get down but she held to him tightly as she carried him back up to the Keep, closing and locking every door behind them. Once they were back inside the Keep she released her grip. Pounce jumped down and meowed loudly at her before taking off for the kitchens.

Morrigan wasn't sure why, but she suddenly felt guilty and a bit chastised. She shook her head a little to clear it, "Now I'm worried about offending cats." A rueful smile touched her lips for a moment before a memory of Anders curled in a chair in the library with Pounce on his lap robbed her of the smile.

She had been a bit jealous of Anders and his easy affection. The cat had adored the man, clearly it still did. And people were just as charmed by Anders and his easy smiles. Morrigan tried not to wonder how much of the weeping around the Keep was for him, she was sure it was more than she wanted to think about. Anders had been a good man and a good mage.

Taking a deep breath she strode to the kitchens. She found Shannon murmuring to the cat and feeding him bits of mackerel. Shannon looked up as Morrigan came into the kitchens; she stood and wiped her hands on her apron.

"Mistress Morrigan, is there something I can do for you?"

Morrigan shook her head. "So that's the trick, bribery?"

Shannon turned a fond gaze to Pounce, "Oh yes, he loves the mackerel. Master Anders took to giving it to him…" her voice trailed off as tears pricked at her eyes.

Morrigan stood awkwardly, not sure what to do.

Shannon took a deep breath, "Oh, don't mind me, I'm a foolish old woman." She gave a small laugh that sounded a bit tinny to Morrigan's ears. "I'm as bad as the scullery maids weeping over those boys."

"Somehow, I don't think it's for the same reason."

Shannon raised an eyebrow, "Don't be so sure, missy. I'm not nearly so old as all that."

Morrigan grinned, "Understood."

Shannon seemed to be scrutinizing her for a moment. "The Howe boy is good for you."

Morrigan laughed, "He certainly seems to want to clip my claws."

"No such a thing, he just wants to keep them sharp for better uses." Shannon winked at Morrigan.

Morrigan closed her eyes briefly, suppressing an uncustomary grin. "Where am I?" she asked almost incredulously, was she really talking about her sex life in the middle of the Keep's kitchens with the head cook? Unbelievable.

"You be good to Nathaniel."

"I think you have the wrong…"

Shannon cut her off, "You two tell yourselves whatever makes you feel better." Shannon reached into her apron pocket and pulled out some dried mackerel and handed it to Morrigan. "Here, you take the poor thing with you. He's going to need someone to look after him now that Master Anders has passed."

Morrigan took the mackerel and gave a small piece to Pounce. He followed her somewhat reluctantly as she left the kitchens. She went to Anders' room and took the two small saucers that were on the floor, after putting them in her room she returned to Anders' room and looked around. "Alright, where did you sleep?"

Pounce promptly jogged from the room, moving down the hall towards Sareyna and Alistair's room. He slipped into the open door and headed into the bedroom; he easily jumped up onto one of the beds and curled up on a folded blanket at the foot of the bed.

Morrigan sighed and sat down stroking Pounce's fur. "If you make me cry, kitty, I will never forgive you."

* * *

Alistair froze when he spotted Morrigan on Anders' bed with Pounce. "Morri?"

Her eyes fluttered open and she sat up, "Alistair, sorry, I guess I fell asleep."

Alistair shrugged, "We've all been fighting for over a week, it makes sense." He sat down on the bed next to her and smiled, "Found Pounce, I see."

Morrigan looked down at the cat that was still sleeping. She gently petted him, "Yes, he was in the basement, I locked it because he keeps trying to go back."

Alistair was quiet for a second. "How are you doing?"

Morrigan gave a wan smile, "Depends, are you asking Morrigan or your sister?"

Alistair paused for a second. "My sister."

"It goes without saying that this goes no further than us under penalty of death."

Alistair nodded, trying not to smile.

"I'm confused, I barely knew Anders, and the idea of family is new to me. But, he was…patient with me. And I felt a bit of kinship with Zevran. Once you get past all of his obnoxious habits, we had a bit in common. I'm not even sure how to grieve; Flemeth felt that emotion was a weakness."

She turned to look at Alistair, "You know, she was wrong, my spells seem stronger when I let myself feel emotions. There's a danger in it; of course, it attracts the attention of demons. But stronger mages do that anyways. I wonder now, if perhaps she was trying to keep me from being too powerful, considering what her plans were."

"What are you planning on doing about her?"

"I need to kill her."

"Any idea how?"

Morrigan hung her head, "Anders was helping me." She shook her head, "When I first started travelling with you and Sareyna, I thought I was a very knowledgeable mage. Wynne was trained in the Circle, and was at least twice my age and I knew more than she did. But then I meet people like Avernus, Marethari and Anders and I realize how little I actually knew."

"Anders? Really? He was trained in the Circle too, though."

Morrigan scoffed, "I don't think he learned much of what he was teaching me in the Circle."

"So where?"

"Who knows, Anders likes…liked his secrets." She looked speculatively at the cat before dismissing the idea as ridiculous. "I should go back down to the main hall; there are more injuries to be treated. Can I leave him here?" She nodded towards Ser Pounce-a-lot.

"I wouldn't dream of trying to move him. I only made that mistake once."

Morrigan placed the rest of the dried mackerel on the floor next to the bed. "Hopefully, this will keep him satisfied until I return."

Alistair followed her from the room.


	7. Chapter 7

**We've Both Lived In The Dark**

Zevran was sitting on the ground, back against the wall with Anders head resting in his lap, his body curled up against Zevran's legs. The mage was sleeping now and Zevran was thankful. Anders had become increasingly irrational and hysterical as time wore on.

Zevran stared across the darkness to where he knew the stairs were situated. When they had come to the stairs Anders had lost it. He had screamed, "How fucking deep are we?" His voice between a shout and a scream. He had looked at Zevran with desperate eyes and Zevran hadn't known what to do for the man.

He should have seen it sooner. Anders had mentioned he was uncomfortable, but Zevran had just set it aside, thinking it was akin to his own dislike of the Deep Roads. He had watched as Anders had kicked the wall and screamed then started ranting and pacing.

"We're trapped down here, like rats. We're going to die down here, closed up under miles of stone." Wild eyed, he had turned to Zevran, "We're going to be locked in here forever."

Zevran had cringed, that's when he had made the connection. That word _locked_. Anders had already started his pacing and yammering to himself again. Zevran stepped forward and touched his arm lightly. "Anders."

Anders jerked to a stop, "What?" his voice was too loud and pitched a bit too high.

"Come here, Bello." He tugged on Anders' arm lightly. Anders came towards him willingly, letting Zevran guide him. Zevran enfolded him into a hug and whispered to him. "I won't let you die down here. We'll be free, I promise."

Anders let out a half sob followed by a strangled noise that sound like, "Alright." He leaned heavily against Zevran.

"Let's sit and rest for a bit. We're both exhausted."

"No, we have to keep going. If we keep going we'll get out of here sooner."

Zevran leaned back and stroked Anders' cheek, wiping away a tear. "If you pass out from exhaustion it will take a lot longer to recover than if we take a rest now." He pulled Anders across the road and sat on floor. Anders followed him down and sat next to him. "Why don't you lay down for a bit?"

Anders lay down and put his head on Zevran's lap. Zev had pulled his hair loose from the leather thong and started combing his fingers through the mage's blonde tresses. It was only a few minutes before Anders' breathing started to calm and a few minutes after that he was sound asleep, plunging them both into the dark again.

He had to get Anders out of the Deep Roads somehow, and he needed to do it quickly. Anders wouldn't be able to hold it together for much longer. Clearly his time in the tower, most likely the year in solitary had, had a much more profound impact on him than he let on.

Zevran dozed on and off, waking whenever Anders shifted or made a noise. And now he was staring at where the staircase was, wondering exactly what Anders had been wondering. They had already found and gone up six different staircases. This would make seven.

He had no idea where they were, they had tried going back towards where they thought the Keep was but they had come across dead ends several times and had needed to turn back. Now all he knew was that they were headed up. At least it was something.

Zevran closed his eyes and tried to feel for Sareyna again. He was about to give up when he felt Anders jerk against him and yell, "Let me go." He started thrashing then screamed, "Please, no." The man sounded terrified.

Zevran shook him. "Anders!" he said sharply.

"No, let me out." Anders' voice was ragged.

Zevran shook him again, harder. Anders shot away from him and curled into a ball shielding his head, a flash of light burned bright above his head then was quickly snuffed out.

Zevran felt fury unfurl in his gut. He had known, part of him had known that what Anders had told him of the Circle was not the full story, but…seeing Anders like this, it made his blood boil. "Anders, its Zevran." He spoke quietly, trying to sound reassuring.

Anders uncurled a little and the wisp relit, he looked at Zevran warily. Once he had spotted Zev he uncurled and sat up abruptly.

"Anders" Zev's voice was soft.

Anders looked away. "Don't."

Zevran moved a little closer. "They beat you."

Anders looked at Zevran, glaring at him. "And the Crows didn't beat you?"

"But…"

"It's over."

"If you ever want to talk…"

Anders snorted angrily, "What? You want to hear my deep dark secrets Zev? You want me to tell you that I'm afraid of dark enclosed spaces because the Templars liked to corner me in my cell and beat me till I was nearly unconscious, then made me heal myself so they could do it again?

That I spent a year in constant fear of when the next time they were going to get bored and use me as a punching bag? Or maybe you'd like to know about the Templar that liked to cut me? Do you want me to tell you that I did kill those blighted Templars here at the Keep? That after being beaten and forcibly drained of mana for shits and giggles for two straight weeks that I took my chance when I saw it?"

Zevran was quiet for a second. "Good for you."

Anders pushed to his feet, clearly still angry. "Let's get out of here."

Zevran followed him as he took off up the steps. They walked for several hours until Zevran's stomach growled loudly. Anders stopped and turned to look at Zevran.

"Want to stop?" his voice was light, but it was forced.

"Please, we still have some nug right?"

"Not much, but yes."

"We should save it, then."

"You have some, I'm not hungry."

Zevran didn't want to argue, Anders was obviously still feeling touchy. "Alright."

Anders sat down and pulled the nug out of his pack, handing it to Zevran. "You know, it wasn't all that bad."

Zevran gritted his teeth. "Don't do that."

"Do what? It wasn't."

"I received my first beating from the Crows the day after I was bought."

Anders didn't respond.

"I killed for the first time when I was 9, he was 11."

A muscle twitched in Anders jaw.

"The Crows decided to educate me in the arts of seduction when I was 10."

Anders couldn't control a gasp. "Sweet Maker Zev, 10?"

Zevran nodded briefly, "I am who and what I am. And they made me that, but it doesn't make what I…what we went through any less awful or horrific. I will not push you to tell me anything, I understand the need to forget. And I will not share your secrets, of that you can be sure. I wasn't thinking, when I realized…it enraged me."

Anders shrugged, "Let's not talk about it anymore, any of it."

Zevran nodded and took a bite of nug.

* * *

Anders was trying not to watch Zevran. He was feeling over emotional and he knew it, he was only going to get himself into trouble. He wasn't sure if he loved Zevran, but if he didn't it was a close thing. And this stint in the Deep Roads wasn't helping.

He almost felt like a giddy teenage girl. Zevran had found them food, had comforted Anders when he had gotten so hysterical and had looked ready to declare war on the Templars when Anders had awoken. Anders wondered if he had a case of hero worship. Afterall, he had watched Zevran cut down anything that had even remotely threatened Anders for more than a week.

Zevran wrapped the piece of nug he was eating back up and handed it back to Anders. He stretched languorously and Anders felt himself get aroused at the sight of Zevran's muscles as the moved under his tanned skin.

Zevran gave him a tentative smile, "Ready to go?"

Anders moved forward and kissed Zevran. Zevran pulled back for a second and Anders quickly twined his fingers into Zevran's hair and pulled him in for another kiss. Zevran made a quiet noise of protest that became a moan when Anders let a spark of electricity dance down Zevran's spine.

Zevran arched against him and didn't fight when Anders laid him down. He started tugging impatiently at the buckles on Zevran's armor. "Zev" he said breathlessly. "help me."

Zevran's nimble fingers had the buckles undone in a flash and then he was working on Anders. Zevran hissed when Anders wrapped his hand around Zevran's length and let little sparks dance along it. He moved his hand and glided a finger over Zevran's anus calling a small amount of grease.

He eased his finger into Zevran, struggling to keep himself calm. All he could think about was how badly he wanted to bury himself inside of Zevran. Quickly adding a second finger he stroked a few times to stretch Zevran a little.

He slipped the fingers back out and positioned himself against Zevran's ass. "Are…you ready?"

Zevran nodded, he was already clutching at Anders' arms and raising his hips a bit. Anders pushed forward and they both groaned as he entered Zevran. He moved forward slowly until he was completely inside of the elf. He held still for several seconds before starting to move. Biting his tongue, he kept his pace slow, he wanted to savior it.

It wasn't long before Zevran was shifting impatiently underneath him. "Anders…"

Anders closed his eyes and picked up his pace a little, "say it again."

"Anders." Zevran let the name linger, drawing it out.

Anders shuddered at the sound, his eyes suddenly flew open as Zevran pulled a bit away and shifted them both abruptly and quite forcefully. Anders gasped in surprise when he found himself on his back. Zevran stood and stripped off the rest of his armor. Anders moved to sit up and Zevran pushed him back down with his foot. "Let me."

Anders relaxed and Zevran squatted above him. He grabbed Anders' erection and stroked it a few times slowly before positioning himself over it. Anders groaned as he realized what Zevran was doing. With Anders positioned at his entrance he slowly lowered himself, taking inch after inch of the mage inside of himself.

"Maker, yes." Anders moaned as Zevran moved slowly but steadily.

Once Anders was completely inside of him he shifted his hips a bit. "What are you trying…oh…oh, nevermind."

Zevran chuckled, "Just lay back and enjoy."

Zevran started to move and Anders' hands automatically moved to his hips. He held Zevran as he moved above him. He wasn't sure exactly what Zevran was doing, how he got his body to move like that, but whatever it was, it felt amazing. Zevran increased his pace and Anders thought he might pass out from sheer pleasure.

Suddenly, Zevran squeezed down on Anders hard, jerked sideways and yelped.

Anders looked at him guiltily, "Sorry."

Zevran chuckled, "Just surprised me is all. Do it again."

Anders shocked him again, intentionally this time, Zevran moaned and squeezed around Anders again. Zev started sliding up and down Anders' length again and almost whispered, "Harder."

Groaning, Anders obliged.

Zevran was panting and riding him faster. "Harder."

Anders zapped him again and moaned when Zevran cried out. "More?" Anders asked raggedly.

"Please." Zevran's eyes were closed and his head was tipped back as he rode Anders faster. "Ahhhhh, yes." He cried out when Anders jolted him again. "More, please." He begged.

Anders cupped his hands on Zevran's ass and gave him a much stronger dose. Zevran cried out and fell forward onto Anders, his orgasm pulling a near scream from his lips. His body spasmed around Anders and Anders came deep inside of him. Anders wrapped his arm around Zevran and gave him a gentle squeeze.

Zevran lay limply on top of Anders for several minutes regaining his senses and his breath. Anders tipped Zevran's chin up and kissed him softly. Zevran made a small, almost purring noise, and Anders deepened the kiss. He let a small spell unwind from his fingers.

Zevran broke the kiss and raised an eyebrow, "Again, already?"

Anders swallowed hard; his voice was barely above a whisper when he spoke. "I…want to feel you inside me again."

Zevran looked concerned, "Are you sure?"

Anders nodded almost imperceptibly.

Zevran kissed Anders again slowly and gently, "I'll be gentle."

Anders gave him a lopsided grin, "If you aren't, I can always zap you again."

Zev chuckled, "Promises, promises."

* * *

The two of them were lying on the hard ground, relaxing. Anders' head was on Zevran's chest and Zevran's fingers carded slowly through Anders' hair. Anders' breath was slow and he murmured periodically in pleasure.

"Zev, do you think…"

Zevran jerked into a sitting position, violently dislodging Anders. "Anders get up, get dressed. I feel her."

Anders scrabbled to his feet and started yanking on his robes. "It's really her? Are you sure?"

Zevran laughed, "Yes, Alistair too." He finished buckling his armor and helped Anders with the belts on his robes. They put their boots on and Anders had barely grabbed the pack before Zevran grabbed his arm and started running down the corridor.

He lost them twice but always felt them again in just a few minutes as long as they travelled in pretty much the same direction. "We must be getting closer; I can feel most of the others." He laughed again.

It was hours later when they came to the barrier door. "No." Anders pushed roughly on the door. "No, no, no. We're so close." He turned to Zevran who looked considerably deflated. "If you can feel them, does that mean they can feel you?"

Zevran shook his head sadly, "No."

Anders slid down to the ground, "but…" He closed his eyes and hung his head.

Zevran slid onto the ground beside him. "I'm sorry."

Anders didn't respond, he tipped his head back and rested it on the wall. "There has to be something."

"I'm out of ideas." Zevran laughed again, the sound a little hysterical. "Do you ever feel like the Maker is just a bastard, laughing at us?"

Anders looked over at Zevran and winced as a parade of emotions slid across his face, one after another. "Are you alright, Zev?"

"Just awesome, absolutely amazing."

The two of them sat there in silence for nearly an hour.

"I have an idea."

Zevran turned to Anders and raised a brow in query.

"Call to her."

"Yeah, somehow I don't think she's going to hear me."

"No, try to use your connection."

"You mean the dreams?"

"Yes, you two have some sort of connection; try to call to her with your thoughts. And I'm going to try to…amplify it."

"How?"

"By using my connection with the Fade, I'm not sure it will work. But what else do we have?"

Zevran nodded, "Alright, what do I do?"

"Just close your eyes and concentrate on her, tell her where we are."

Zevran closed his eyes and Anders took his hand. He started funneling energy through Zevran, focusing on pushing the energy through Zevran and upwards as far as he could. "Keep going Zev. Don't stop."

* * *

Zevran wasn't sure how long he had been trying to send messages out to Sareyna when he suddenly felt Anders collapse. His eyes snapped open and Anders was slumped against him, unconscious, pale and cold. He reached for Anders' wrist and gripped it gently, he finally found his pulse, it was weak and thready.

He moved and laid Anders down and pulled the waterskin from the pack. Thankfully, Anders water spell had come quite in handy. It took him several minutes to rouse Anders and to get him to drink some water. "Foolish mage."

"We need to get out." Anders mumbled, "I can't stay down here."

"And how are you planning on protecting yourself if we get attacked by Darkspawn while you have no mana and are too weak to stand?"

Anders gave Zevran a tired smile and caressed his cheek. "You'll protect me. Isn't that what you do? Protect us?"

Zevran closed his eyes, he didn't love Anders in the way he was beginning to suspect the mage wanted, but he cared about the man greatly. He was an integral part of Zevran's loving, if unconventional family. Anders started pulling his hand away from his cheek but Zevran captured his wrist and brought it to his lips, he kissed the center of Anders' palm. "I will protect you this time, I promise Anders."

Anders blinked groggily and mumbled, "Wasn't your fault." and slid into an uneasy sleep.

Zevran knew he was right, there wasn't enough time for him to have saved Anders on that wall but it still felt like a failure.


	8. Chapter 8

**Finding My Heart**

Sareyna jerked in the saddle, and looked around her quickly; she looked to Nathaniel and Lord Eddlebrek. "I apologize Bann, but I must take my leave. Nathaniel will continue the tour with you." She gave the man her sweetest smile. "And in all honesty, he understands this land better than I. Thank you for all of your wonderful help."

She turned her mare towards the Keep and rode back to it at a full gallop, pushing her horse hard.

"She has something more pressing than the welfare of her land?"

"We've been having services for the departed everyday as we find more casualties; the Commander never misses any of them whether it's for Wardens, soldiers or civilians."

Lord Eddlebrek nodded, "Shows good character, going to all of them."

Nathaniel gave a small smile. "I don't believe she realized how far out the damage extended, and expected to return sooner."

Lord Eddlebrek started his horse moving again as the two of them continued to survey the land.

* * *

Sareyna came flying through the Keep gates and pulled up sharply in front of the stairs. She jumped off her horse and ran into the Keep. "Alistair, Alistair!"

Turning, she heard pounding footsteps coming down the stairs, "What is it, what's the matter?"

"They're alive, they're in the Deep Roads, we have to go get them."

Alistair took a deep breath, "Darling, you know they're gone."

"No, Zevran called to me, he told me they're on the other side of the barrier door."

"How did he call to you?"

"I don't know, I heard him, in my head. It must be like the dreams."

"I don't know about this."

Sareyna scowled and shoved Alistair out of her way, "Fine, I'm sure Maric would be more than happy to go with me."

She stomped down the hall to Maric's room and pounded on the door, Alistair trailing behind her. Maric answered the door slowly, looking a bit disheveled and worn.

"Maric, I think they're alive. I heard Zevran calling to me. They're in the Deep Roads, but I need someone to go with me."

Maric nodded "Give me a moment."

He turned around and practically sprinted to his bedroom. After a few minutes he called out, "Give me a hand will you 'Reyna?"

She quickly went into the room and helped him to get his armor on. The two of them strode quickly to the kitchens and grabbed some quick supplies before nearly running out of the Keep. Alistair sighed heavily.

"Fine, I'm coming too."

"Don't bother." Sareyna snapped. "Stay here with the baby."

Alistair stopped and gritted his teeth but headed back inside the Keep.

"What's wrong with him?"

"He thinks I imagined it, that it's wishful thinking."

"But, if there's even a chance..."

"I know. And Maric I'm telling you, they're alive, I felt him."

Maric nodded, he knew about Sareyna and Zevran's strange connection from the dreams, it seemed reasonable that it could have a side effect like this.

* * *

Zevran had been fretting over Anders for some hours. The mage didn't wake back up, even when Zevran shook him. He felt sick to his stomach, with worry. There was nothing Zevran could do for Anders; they didn't even have any health poultices with them. All he could do was wait.

It took Anders the better part of a day, or at least they thought it was a day, to recover. He drank slowly from the waterskin and finished the rest of the roasted nug. Zevran was going to go look for more food, but Anders didn't want to be left alone and after what had already happened, Zevran wasn't about to force it on him.

Zevran repeatedly felt like he was losing his mind. He kept thinking he heard Sareyna calling him, but when he strained to hear her, there was nothing there and Anders hadn't heard anything at all. They both tried to remain positive; all they could do was hope that she had heard them.

Anders wanted to try again but Zevran refused, even after Anders promised not to go so far this time. Instead, the two of them kept each other entertained discussing elaborate sexual fantasies, most involving a certain perky little dwarf.

* * *

Three days passed with agonizing slowness and Anders was quickly losing hope. Zevran tried his best to keep Anders' mind off of where they were and off the fact that they were stuck there but the huge metal door looming beside them was an all too constant reminder. And stories of Sigrun could only take a man so far.

Anders stood up abruptly and headed for the door. "We have to try again Zev, please let me try again."

Zevran sighed and stood, he was worried about Anders going too far again, but in truth he was starting to lose hope himself. He was tired and hungry and needed to feel the sun on his skin desperately. "Alright, but only for a few minutes, no more than ten, you…wait, I hear something." Zevran pressed his head to the door.

Anders watched him anxiously.

"I…I think it's her." Zev closed his eyes and concentrated, he heard low quiet tones but he was almost certain it was 'Reyna.

"Help, we're here, please help us."

Zevran's ears rang from Anders' shouts.

* * *

It took them three days to reach the heavy doors blocking the Deep Roads. As they were looking at the locking mechanism, trying to decipher it, they both heard Anders' yelling. It was hard to make out the words, but there was no doubt it was the two of them.

"Maric, hurry, please." Sareyna pressed her head to the door, Anders sounded frantic and she was afraid that they might be hurt.

After about an hour Sareyna pushed Maric out of the way so that she could see the lock, she couldn't take Anders' shouts anymore, she was on the verge of tears. At least with the lock she had something to concentrate on besides sitting idly by and listening to Anders .

It took Sareyna and Maric almost another hour to figure out how to work the mechanism to open the doors.

The two of them stood impatiently before each door as it opened. When the third door opened it showed Zevran with his arm around a too pale Anders' shoulders. Sareyna felt her heart lurch, here was the proof that they were still alive, but she could still hardly believe it. Sareyna ran forward wrapping her arms around Zevran and nearly knocking him to the ground.

Maric hugged Anders who stood looking dazed and a little uncomfortable before hugging Maric back.

"I knew it was you. I heard you, I did, I knew it was really you."

Zevran stroked her hair gently, "Shh, Querida, we're all right. I knew you would come." His voice was rough with emotion. "I knew you would come."

Maric pulled away from Anders and opened his pack. "Here, we have food and some weak wine."

Zevran pulled away from Sareyna, kissed her cheek and squeezed her hand. He gave her a small smile, "I'm glad you're not tired of saving me yet."

She grinned, "Well, you play damsel in distress exceptionally well."

* * *

He laughed. Sareyna turned to Anders and hugged him too. "Thank the Maker, you're all right." She buried her face in his neck as she shed a few tears. Surprised at her display, Anders rubbed her back gently not sure what else to do.

"Can't get rid of me that easily." He joked quietly.

"I should have never dragged you into this. I should have told you to run that day. This never would have happened."

"Hey." He pulled her away from him a little and looked at her. "I wanted to help and I like being a Warden. I'm good at it, and..." He looked around at Maric and Zevran. "You've given me a family, a life and a freedom I never would have had on my own. I don't regret becoming a Warden for one minute."

"But..."

Anders rolled his eyes, "Maker, woman, you are such a martyr."

Zevran and Maric both laughed.

"You're sure?"

"Of course I am."

* * *

The trek back to the Keep seemed to take forever. Everyone was anxious to get back; they were all filthy and tired. Anders couldn't help but laugh at Sareyna. She kept hugging both him and Zevran as if she was afraid that they were a hallucination. Seeing such a strong woman putting on such an unabashed emotional display touched Anders. On the second day, after the fourth round of hugs, Anders caught her hand and held it in his own.

"How's that? We can keep moving and you can make sure I don't disappear into the ether."

She bit her lip and grinned. Anders just smiled and gave her hand a squeeze. Sareyna turned to Zev and held out her other hand.

Laughing, he took it. "You are a very strange woman."

Maric who had watched them gave a small smile. "I can't blame her. It's a miracle that the two of you are alive."

"Anders' quick thinking saved us."

Sareyna smirked at Anders, "I think you just surpassed my husband and became my hero."

Anders chuckled, "Don't tell him that. I don't want him messing up my pretty face."

"Speaking of which, where is your husband?" Zevran asked innocently.

Sareyna wrinkled her nose in distaste, "He's at the Keep. He didn't believe me when I told him that you were alive and that I could hear you."

"Ah, Querida, don't be so hard on him. I almost don't believe it myself."

"He should have at least wanted to look."

Zevran kissed the hand that he was holding. "I had no doubt you would find us, Querida, and you have, nothing else matters."

"Honestly, I'm very flattered. The Hero of Ferelden, who just so happens to be a very beautiful woman, and the King of Ferelden came traipsing into the Deep Roads following a feeling, on the off chance that I might be alive."

Sareyna smiled at Anders, "So glad I could stroke your ego for you."

He chuckled, "Don't think I don't appreciate it."

* * *

Alistair was stalking through the halls of the Keep. He couldn't believe she had left him there; that she had run off into the Deep Roads with only Maric with her. Granted they had cleared and sealed the Deep Roads but the two of them were planning on unsealing the doors. What if they were attacked by Darkspawn?

He shoved the idea away, turning his attention to the sleeping child in his arms. He was getting so big, and was getting pretty good at walking. With nothing else to do Alistair had spent hours with the boy, helping him to learn how to walk.

Trelain still got breast milk from the wet nurse but was eating semi solid foods as well. It worried Alistair that the boy wasn't talking yet, but considering what he was; Alistair tried his best not to worry too much. Perhaps it was easier to remain silent than to attempt speech with a body not capable of expressing what you wanted to say.

Alistair walked down the stairs slowly, he didn't really want to return the boy to Eveleen, but he had promised to assist the stable master. One of the horses had spooked at the sounds of battle, and before they could calm it she had broken several boards in her stall. At least it would distract him from his still missing wife and father.


	9. Chapter 9

**A Witch and A Prophet**

Anders jerked awake at the sound of Maric yelling his name. He looked around and spotted Maric crouched next to Sareyna as she jerked and spasmed, lying next to her Zevran was doing the same.

Maric looked up, his eyes panicked. "Sweet Maker, what's wrong with them?"

"Just make sure Sareyna doesn't hit her head on the rock." Anders tried not to let the king know how panicked he felt himself. He had no lyrium potions here and the two of them hadn't had the concoction that stopped them from seizing in several days.

With Zevran's head gently cradled in his hands he tried what had only been attempted by Morrigan before. Slowly, he unwound the magic of a reversed sleep spell and let it flow into Zevran. Briefly, he prayed to a Maker he no longer believed in, he prayed to Andraste and anyone else that he thought would listen. Now more than ever he needed strength and a bit of luck.

* * *

Andraste was pulled by whispers and murmurings in the Fade. There was something drawing them to a woman, a woman as beautiful as Andraste had been once. Her voice was haunting in its pain as she whispered with the spirits. Andraste watched in wonder as they swirled around the young woman seeking to comfort her.

Who was this woman that the spirits sought her out so? But then Andraste felt it, the woman had power, bright and sharp and clear. So bright and blazing was her pain, her feeling of betrayal that Andraste could almost taste it. She remembered when things felt like that, clear and urgent, instead of the dull vagaries of the Fade.

She felt the woman's desire for vengeance, like an undertow, just below the surface of her grief, but strong nonetheless. She wanted to help this woman, wanted to help her find the vengeance that was denied to her. So she listened intently to the spirits as they spoke with the young woman.

She heard them explain what had happened to poor Osen. As Andraste came closer the spirits began to disperse. They were still not sure what to make of her; she was neither demon nor spirit and had not moved on as mortals do. The spirits had begun to fear her when she had learned to shape the Fade, the demons sought her out and those that could still teach her something survived the encounter while those who could not inevitably were killed when they attacked her.

"Flemeth, I hear you, your heart speaks to me." Her voice was light, almost ethereal.

Flemeth turned this way and that, "You are no spirit. Are you a demon?" A touch of fear threaded through her voice.

"I am neither a spirit nor a demon, merely one who was betrayed once, as you have been now. I am one who wishes to set things right."

Flemeth was quiet for long seconds and Andraste could hear the spirits of the Fade murmuring again, nervously this time.

"Osen was a good man." Flemeth spoke hesitantly, "He did not deserve what was done to him."

"Osen was not the first and we both know he shall not be the last."

Flemeth hung her head; her breathing slowed "You would do this? What do you ask in return?"

"I am no demon, I ask for nothing. I would not see you suffer as I have suffered." Andraste could see the woman thinking it over. She could almost hear her thoughts, the woman projected powerfully but she was young, terribly young. Did she even know what she was capable of?

"Alright, please, avenge my husband."

Andraste took off before the woman could change her mind. She moved through the Fade as fast as thought and found the monster responsible for Osen's death, the man lie in his bed, eating berries from a tray as if nothing had happened.

Still incorporeal she called out to him letting her voice reverberate across the room. "Conobar, you have spoken lies and have wrongly killed a good man."

Conobar sat upright in his bed and looked around, "Who is there?"

Slowly, Andraste gathered energy to herself forming her body in the mortal world. She covered herself with the appearance of blood. The effect worked, Conobar jumped from his bed to cower against the wall.

"I am Vengeance." She let her voice reverberate across the room.

"I have done nothing." Conobar worked to try to keep his voice steady.

"You have murdered Osen."

"He was no good man, he sold his wife."

"You spouted lies to get him to do so."

"If he loved her he wouldn't have agreed to it."

Andraste stalked across the room, she had him cornered now. "Men like you are full of lies." She roared before grasping him and tearing him apart, his sharp cry was cut off short as he was ripped asunder. Andraste faded quickly unable to pull enough energy from the Fade to remain solid and finally too tired to even remain in the mortal realm she slipped back through the Veil.

She went back to the weeping woman in the field. "Flemeth, Conobar has been slain, your Osen has been avenged, now get free from here before his men find you.

"Me? But I have done nothing."

"They know you can speak with spirits do they not?"

Flemeth hung her head, "Yes."

"Who do you think they shall blame? Run, save yourself."

"Where will I go?"

Andraste came close to her, straining against the veil but not quite moving through, she brushed her fingers over the young woman's brow. "Go south, lose them in the Wilds."

"But, I'll die there."

"I will be with you." Andraste's words were barely a whisper as she faded again.

* * *

Flemeth had been reluctant to run, she had been warned away from the Wilds, the Chasind lived there. Everyone knew the tales of their barbarism and brutality. Andraste watched her, would she give up, would she turn herself over to Conobar's men or would she run?

On the third day she heard Conobar's men and Andraste saw determination take root inside of the woman. She was stronger than she looked. Flemeth took off running for the Wilds. Conobar's men were relentless in their pursuit of her; no matter how many of them she was able to slay with her magic, it always seemed more came for her.

Days turned into weeks before she sought help. Painfully thin from lack of food and constant running, sleep deprived, feet cut and bleeding she finally sank to the ground. "Spirit, are you there?" she called breathlessly.

Andraste gathered energy to herself again and appeared gossamer sheer before the frightened woman.

"Spirit, please help me. I do not wish to die." Tears tracked down her dirtied face. She wiped them away with the back of her hand. Her fingers bled where several of the nails had been ripped away. "I am so tired, I can fight no more."

Andraste felt a moment's pause. This woman was barely more than a child. "Do you understand who I am?" she asked quietly.

Flemeth stood, her posture defiant and her face a mask of determination. "You are Vengeance, you are Retribution, you are Revenge."

"And knowing that you seek my help?"

"I do."

"And do you know what I seek in return?"

"A body."

Andraste wasn't sure she could even anchor herself into the body with Flemeth. She did not wish the woman's death; no, in fact she thought they could change the world if they worked together. "You would share yours then?"

Flemeth nodded.

"Are you afraid, child?" Andraste asked softly.

"Not anymore."

A brilliant flash of golden light enfolded Flemeth and for a moment she felt the world tilt and spin. It seemed she was seeing the world superimposed on itself. She staggered a few steps and her skin felt too tight, too hot before the world expanded out around her in too bright color.

She clenched her eyes shut and sank to the ground, her heart was beating fast and her lungs seemed not to be able to get enough air. She clutched at her throat as if she was choking.

"Shh, relax don't fight. You will be fine in a moment."

Those words more than anything frightened Flemeth; they came from her, but felt cold and alien. Instead of giving into the paralyzing fear she lay on her back and took long, slow breaths. She opened her eyes slowly and though the world seemed to be filled colors that were a bit too vivid she began to feel a bit more normal.

She heard hoof beats in the distance and pushed herself to her feet, pain searing up from the cuts that covered them. A flash of pale blue washed over her body and Flemeth sighed a breath of relief as the cuts and bruises on her body disappeared.

As the horses broke through the trees to where she stood, Flemeth felt herself pushed back a little, she saw and felt what was going on but couldn't really control it. Her arms flung out wide and her tongue spoke words she did not understand.

She watched dazed as the riders were yanked off their horses and slammed onto the ground. The horses turned and ran away unharmed and Flemeth was glad. The men began to struggle to their feet. Another few words rolled off her tongue and the ground in front of her split open. Her hands came together in a loud clap and all the men were swept into the ground before the ground closed over them.

She was pushed forward again, her body now back in her control. She walked over to where the ground had been torn open. She ran her hands over it, ensuring it was actually solid. "What was that?"

"_Old magic. I will teach you, but we must find shelter."_

Flemeth hurried through the thick undergrowth of the wilds, unsure of where she was going, but no longer afraid. She took comfort knowing she would never have to face the world alone again.

* * *

Sareyna woke up, sitting straight up, sweat was pouring off her and her eyes were wide. It was only a couple seconds before Zevran did as well.

He turned to Sareyna, "I…was that?"

She nodded, "I think I'm going to be sick." She took several deep breaths blowing them out slowly.

"Do you think Morrigan knows?"

"No, she would have told us."

"Hey, guys are you alright?"

They both turned to Anders as if just realizing he was there.

Sareyna nodded, "Just confused and a bit scared."

Maric was staring at them both in shock. "Is it always like that? I thought you were going to die."

Anders looked at Maric, "They don't normally seize anymore, they have medicine for that, but they haven't taken it in a while, for obvious reasons."

"How do you and Alistair handle that? I would lose my damn mind."

"Sometimes we feel like we're going to."

"I'm sorry Maric, Zevran and I really are alright." Sareyna's voice was soft.

Maric pushed his hair back. He didn't look convinced, "Now what?"

"We can get moving, from the looks of it, none of us are going to get back to sleep." Zev suggested.

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" Anders looked between them apprehensively.

"Not right now. It was…a lot to digest." Zev had already started grabbing the few things they had with them and didn't bother looking up to answer.

In just a few minutes they were on their way back to the Keep.


	10. Chapter 10

**It'll Have To Wait**

Alistair was in the stables helping the stable master clean up the tack when they both heard a commotion from outside. There were scattered cheers and more than a little weeping. Alistair felt a knot in his gut, could it really be? He dropped the bridle he had been oiling and ran from the stable, the stable master right on his heels.

Alistair felt something tear free inside of him at the sight that greeted him. Four filthy and disheveled figures were slowly making their way to the Keep doors. Alistair dashed across the courtyard and kissed Sareyna quick before he grabbed both Anders and Zevran in a bear hug. He felt the tears on his cheeks and didn't care, Anders and Zevran were alive.

"Tesoro, you are choking me."

Alistair let them go, looking at them sheepishly. "I'm sorry, I didn't…h…how?"

Sareyna grabbed Alistair's arm and pulled him back a bit. "Let's get them inside, fed and bathed, then we'll pepper them with questions."

Alistair turned his gaze to hers, a pained look on his face, "I should have listened to you."

Sareyna shrugged, "They're here and they are fine and that's all that matters now."

The five of them entered the Keep, Alistair heading off to have baths drawn and Sareyna heading for the kitchens.

* * *

Shannon ran into her before she reached them. She grabbed Sareyna, her voice was tremulous, "Is it true, please, are those boys alright?"

Sareyna smiled and hugged Shannon, "They are."

Shannon bit her lip and a look of determination came over her face. "Then we shall have a feast." She turned towards the kitchens. "I'll send out some food, but you keep everyone out of my kitchens."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Don't sass me."

Sareyna chuckled and moved to the refectory, which was already filling up with Wardens and soldiers coming to see Anders and Zevran. The refectory was quickly filled with raucous voices and laughter, but Anders and Zevran looked decidedly uncomfortable.

Sareyna felt as tired as the boys and honestly just wanted to grab a bite to eat then slip into a tub for a month or so. "Alright, everyone clear out. You can all see them later. Tonight there shall be a feast and I expect you all to be here."

The murmurs rose briefly in volume before everyone started filtering from the room. She moved across the room and sat down next to Zevran. "Do you two need anything?"

Zevran smiled, he gestured behind them to two huge platters coming from the kitchens. "I believe we have everything we need, and then some."

Maric and Sareyna tucked into the food with Anders and Zevran. Alistair returned and settled behind Sareyna. He stroked her back and watched the four of them with a smile.

Anders popped a piece of cheese in his mouth and gave Alistair a little smile as he swallowed, "You're awfully quiet." He gestured to the cheese, "And not scarfing all the cheese, you feeling alright?"

"I'm just glad to have my family all back together."

Sareyna nodded in agreement, it was nice to have them all back under one roof and safe.

* * *

Morrigan had been in her room when the commotion started. She had been reading through all of Anders' notes in preparation of going to see The Architect in a couple of weeks. Sighing, she set them aside and decided to see what the commotion was all about.

As she neared the door she found Ser Pounce-a-Lot sitting on the floor nosing the door. She picked him up and set him on the bed. "Wait here, I want to make sure it's safe before I let you out."

Pounce meowed loudly at her, but stayed where he was. She slipped out the door and headed for the stairs. Once she reached the bottom she saw what the commotion was all about. Biting her lip she jogged back up the stairs. Ser Pounce-a-Lot would never forgive her if she didn't bring him down right away.

Inside of her room she leaned against the door and took several calming breaths. She would not cry, she could be grateful and still be dignified; there was no reason for tears. They threatened all the same though. Pounce left the bed and rubbed against her leg, meowing loudly again before purring.

Morrigan picked him up and snuggled him. "You already know, don't you?" She stroked his back, "You probably knew all along." She sighed, and feeling fairly composed she left the room, carrying Pounce to make sure no one stepped on him in all the commotion.

When she reached the refectory everyone was gone. Only the four that had returned and Alistair remained. She watched them for a minute, these people who had been strangers less than two years ago, and who she now couldn't imagine her life without.

Morrigan had resented being sent with Alistair and Sareyna at first. Flemeth had taught her to live alone, had taught her that the only strength she really needed was herself. Morrigan had been annoyed and a bit frightened at times when she realized she was forming a real friendship with Sareyna.

Flemeth had been almost cold and often cruel, but part of Morrigan was thankful to her. If Flemeth had never sent her away, she would not have come to find the…peace she now experienced, here with these people.

She felt Nathaniel come up behind her, his voice low in her ear. "Stop staring and go be with them."

She hesitated, feeling unsure, intimate moments were still foreign and strange to her. But the choice was taken out of her hands when Ser Pounce-a-lot, finally losing his patience, meowed and jumped down. He took off like a shot and jumped up on Anders, purring so loudly, Morrigan was sure they could hear him clear across the Keep.

Morrigan smiled as Anders buried his nose in Pounce's fur and started murmuring to him. Sareyna waived her and Nathaniel over.

"Come on, we were just wondering where you two were."

Nathaniel grasped Morrigan's elbow gently and guided her into the room. "I was meeting with a few potential soldiers."

"Ah, any luck?"

"Yes, three are staying; I sent the last one back home. He was a bit," he paused thoughtfully, "over-enthusiastic."

Sareyna nodded and Morrigan settled down across from her. "What about you, Morri?"

Alistair smiled, "Probably doing the same thing she has been doing, taking care of Pounce."

Anders looked up, clearly surprised. "You took care of my cat?"

"Well someone had to."

"Thank you." Anders looked a bit overwhelmed.

"Come see me later, I'll get you his things." She tried not to give too much away from her face, but she was dying to speak to him about Pounce. "And I wanted to speak with you about some of your notes."

Anders raised a brow, "Got into my things already? Wow, Morrigan, that was fast, even for you."

Morrigan tried not to look offended, "We thought…I am meeting the Architect in a few weeks and I needed information about Sareyna's dreams."

"The Architect?" Anders knit his brows.

Sareyna scowled, "Finish eating and we'll talk about everything when you're done."

Anders didn't seem to mind, he went back to eating and cuddling with Ser Pounce-a-lot. Zevran studied Sareyna for a moment before shrugging and popping another piece of bread into his mouth. Maric was watching everyone intently but kept silent after a glare from Alistair.

Morrigan knew that Sareyna was right they had all had an especially trying few days and it was best if everyone ate and rested up. It didn't change the fact that she was dying to speak with Anders about Pounce.

She watched him interacting with the cat, speaking with him as if he understood what Anders was saying, even if he was speaking quietly. Morrigan was sure Anders knew something was different about Pounce, how could he not? But it would have to be a question for another time.


	11. Chapter 11

**Unsatisfied**

"When are you two going to tell us about the dream?" Anders asked quietly as they headed up the stairs.

Sareyna turned to look at Zev who inclined his head slightly. "Tomorrow." She replied softly. "Let's just enjoy being home for the time being."

"You had a dream while you were down there? Maybe we should talk about it, so you don't forget it."

Sareyna laughed a little. "No chance of that, Ali my love. Trust me." She stretched and sighed. "I think I'm ready for a long bath followed by a long nap."

Anders rolled his shoulders, which popped loudly. "I agree, in fact, that's healer's orders." He headed down the hall but stopped a few feet ahead of Zev, Sareyna and Alistair. "And you two take your green crap."

Zev chuckled as Anders disappeared into his room. Zev hugged Sareyna and kissed her cheek "Thank you again, Querida." He disappeared down the hall as Alistair pulled Sareyna into their suite of rooms.

As soon as the door was shut behind her Sareyna started removing her armor, "Ugh, I feel like I've been buried in mud. Everything is dirty and sweaty."

Alistair helped her take off her armor. He followed her silently to the bathing chamber and sat on a stool behind the tub as she sank gratefully into the water. She leaned back and Alistair picked up the cloth and gently began washing her.

Sareyna relaxed with her eyes closed for several minutes before she opened them slowly. "What's wrong, Ali?"

"Just a lot on my mind I guess." But his voice was a little too quiet.

"Are you still upset I left you here?"

"Not at you, I should have trusted you."

Sareyna wasn't sure what was bothering him. He should be happy, she knew that she felt pretty elated, had since the last door of the barrier swung open and she saw Zev and Anders both standing there. So she waited, he would tell her in his own time, sometimes Alistair just had to stew for a while.

Alistair moved the stool and moved around to the side of the tub where he started washing her arm. "I think we should talk about Zevran, 'Reyna."

Sareyna bit her lip; her voice was a bit strained. "Alright."

"No, don't be like that. I'm not angry, I'm…I'm confused. Before we left, Zev kissed me."

"I know. He kissed me too, right before the final push of the battle."

Alistair looked only mildly surprised. "He's quite the opportunist."

Sareyna smiled, glad Alistair wasn't angry.

Alistair colored and suddenly found the cloth in his hand very interesting. "I think I might have liked it."

"Oh?"

"What does it mean?"

Sareyna chuckled and shook her head, "It means you were kissed by someone trained in the arts of seduction and you enjoyed it. There's nothing wrong with that."

"What if it's more than that?"

"Is it?"

Alistair dropped the cloth into the water and stood up to pace. Sareyna grabbed the cloth and continued to wash the grime of the Deep Roads from her skin.

"You two are so frustrating and confusing. You're so calm, like it's no big deal that I got aroused when Zev kissed me. It's a big deal to me." He stopped and knelt down by the tub again. "I've wondered what it would be like to have him touch me, would his fingers be callused differently than yours? I've pictured him on his knees in front of me dozens of times." He stood back up with a huff and Sareyna noted that he was getting aroused just talking about it.

"Do you want to invite him to bed with us, Alistair?"

"No!" he barked, then a bit calmer, "I don't know." He let out a sigh, "No."

Sareyna nodded in acceptance and dipped under the water to wet her hair before she started to clean it. Alistair watched her with dark eyes, no longer pacing, but almost frozen in place. As soon as she rinsed the soap from her hair he snatched her out of the tub and strode across the room to their bed.

He tossed her unceremoniously onto the mattress and quickly shed his clothes. Sareyna watched him with expectant eyes. Alistair looked at her so intently she felt her skin flush with excitement.

He spread her legs before he crawled onto the bed over her and without preamble kissed her hard and pushed two fingers roughly inside of her. She moaned at the abrupt intrusion but Alistair's tongue was stroking in out of her mouth in time with his fingers between her legs.

It was only a few moments before her hips started moving, matching his rhythm. Apparently, satisfied that she was ready Alistair grabbed her and flipped her over. He pulled her to her knees and guided himself to her entrance. He grabbed a handful of her hair in one hand and her hip with the other and entered her in one brutal thrust.

Sareyna cried out in surprise, she gasped as he set a punishing pace pistoning in and out of her. "Ali?" her voice was tentative.

Alistair pushed her head down into the bed, "Quiet."

* * *

Sareyna slowly turned her head to the side so she could breathe as he held her head down. If she wasn't so soul weary she would have been furious. What the Fade was he thinking? She took long slow breaths to keep herself calm.

She tried to focus on the feel of him inside of her, but she was unable to hold onto her arousal. The friction became nearly painful as she started to become dry. It didn't take him long to finish and she was grateful. She felt him come inside of her as he gave a satisfied grunt before he pulled out and lay down on his back staring at the ceiling. Without a word she climbed out of the bed and back into the tub, the water was still warm, no sense in wasting it.

She cleaned herself off and stopped in the wardrobe to pull on a light weight chemise before climbing back into the bed. Alistair reached out for her and she pulled away from him. "Stop."

He rolled up onto his side and looked at her. "What's wrong?"

"Next time you want to prove to yourself that you're still a man, don't use me to do it." She snapped.

"That's not…"

She glared at him. "We've been together in a lot of different ways, but that's the first time I ever felt like you were using me."

"I didn't mean to make you feel like that. Maker, I'm sorry 'Reyna." He reached out to caress her face.

She pulled away again, "Give me some time to cool off alright? I'm angry Alistair."

Alistair nodded and climbed out of the bed. As soon as he was dressed he left the room. Even as angry as she was her trek to the Deep Roads had worn her out and Sareyna was asleep in minutes.

* * *

Alistair was indulging in some Antivan brandy and self recrimination when Justice came into the library. The spirit was looking at two volumes, one of which Alistair remembered from his last tango with brandy in the library. He stood and walked to the spirit. "You can read, Justice?"

"Apparently."

Alistair chuckled, "Looking for anything in particular?"

Justice turned his flat gaze to Alistair. "What is the Calling?" He watched Alistair's reaction, "Yes, it seems to be something unpleasant, but I cannot find what it is in the remnants of Kristoff's memory."

"Why are you asking, Justice? It isn't something you will have to go through."

"This man was glad to die at the hands of the Darkspawn in the Blackmarsh because it meant he would not have to endure this Calling. What manner of thing makes a man wish to die like that, from the impressions I have, it was an unpleasant death."

"Death is never pleasant, Justice."

"Is that what this Calling is then, a type of death?"

Alistair sighed and moved back to the chair where he had originally been sitting. "Yes, the corruption in our bodies from the Joining eventually wears our bodies down, our nightmares get worse and we know it's time to go to Orzammar."

"I do not understand."

Alistair chewed his lip; this was really Sareyna's area of expertise. He had few conversations with the Fade Spirit because he was prone to over simplification. "During the Joining we drink Darkspawn blood. We take it into our selves so that we can feel Darkspawn; we are more effective at tracking them down and killing them that way. But Darkspawn blood is poison; some people die immediately those who don't become Grey Wardens."

Justice nodded.

"Even if we live it is still poison and eventually we will succumb to it. When the time draws near we go to the dwarven city of Orzammar. We enter the Deep Roads and fight Darkspawn until we die. Think of it as a last hurrah, we take out as many Darkspawn as we can before we go down." At Justice's confused look he clarified, "before we die."

Justice stared blankly for several moments before responding. "You poison yourselves on purpose to be better at finding Darkspawn?"

"There are other advantages we gain. There is an increase in stamina, strength and we do not get sick as easily as other people."

"You mentioned nightmares; do demons plague your sleep?"

"Not as such, no, we have nightmares of the Archdemon."

"But the Archdemon has been slain."

"This one has, but there are potential others out there and we dream of them. Sometimes the dreams are of the Darkspawn, just more and more Darkspawn as far as the eye can see."

"This is the reason the other Wardens cry out at night. They are having these 'nightmares'?"

"Yes."

"Will there always be Darkspawn?"

Alistair gave him a sad smile, "I hope not, Justice, I really hope not."

"There have been Darkspawn for hundreds of years. How will I ever fulfill my purpose? This body is decaying."

"The best I think we can hope for is that they are no longer a threat here."

"That does not seem just."

"Not much in this world is just. We have to take what we can get." Alistair looked at the books that Justice was still holding. "If you are looking for history on Darkspawn and the Blights this is the better book." He pointed to the tome he remembered.

Justice slid the other book back onto the shelf before he left the library silently.


	12. Chapter 12

**Playing Dress Up**

Sareyna woke several hours later feeling rested and in a good mood, Alistair's little stunt from earlier not necessarily forgotten but forgiven. She decided on wearing a simple dark blue dress. She sat at her vanity and brushed out her hair before carefully braiding it down the center of her back, still off her face, but not as severe as her usual ponytail.

She opted for not wearing make-up. Once she was dressed she slipped from her room and down the hall. Knocking on Zevran's door she waited for him to open it. Instead, she heard him call to her, "Come in." She pushed open the door and Zevran was fastening the toggles on a leather vest. He smiled when he saw her.

"You look lovely."

She grinned, "Not too bad yourself."

"Querida, feel this leather, it is so soft." He ran his fingers over it lovingly and practically purred with satisfaction.

Sareyna lightly trailed her fingers over it as well. "How did they do that?"

Zevran shrugged, "I don't know, but I think I might need to buy more of it." He glanced in his looking glass and smoothed his hands over his hair. "Should we check on Anders?"

Still smiling, Sareyna nodded. Zevran held out his arm and she gratefully took it. They moved the short ways down the hall to Anders' door and knocked together. When Anders opened the door Sareyna's eyes went wide.

"Anders, you're wearing trousers!"

He looked down at them, "Really? I thought I felt funny down there."

Sareyna laughed and slapped him playfully on the arm. "You know what I mean."

"Contrary to popular belief mages are capable of wearing things other than robes. But enough about that, how do I look?" He did a slow turn for them.

Honestly, Sareyna thought he looked stunning but wasn't sure he needed to hear it. He wore a stark white tunic with a deep black doublet over it and matching black trousers. His boots were polished to a high shine and he had traded his usual golden earring for a silver one. With his hair tied back in a tight que and just a hint of stubble he actually looked quite dashing.

"You look…good." Sareyna said with a smile.

Anders smirked, "Considering how long you've been staring at me, I'd say I look better than good."

Zevran nodded in agreement, "You're beautiful, Anders." He shook his head, "Amazing."

"Just what I was aiming for." He peeked out of the doorway, "Where's Alistair?"

"I don't know."

"Do you want to head downstairs?"

Sareyna thought for a moment. "Let's have a drink in my room first."

"Are you trying to get us drunk so you can take advantage of us, 'Reyna?"

Sareyna smiled at Anders, "Absolutely."

The trio laughed as they headed back to Sareyna's room, already in a celebratory mood. When they walked in they heard Alistair in the other room moving around and occasionally cursing.

"I should go see if he needs help." Sareyna headed for the bedroom.

"Let me, Querida."

Sareyna bit her lip, "That might not be a good idea. I'll be right back."

* * *

Anders looked to Zevran, "What was that about?"

"I have no idea."

"Very convincing."

Zevran gave him a small smile and shrugged.

* * *

"Ali?"

He turned to her and gave her a half smile. "It's my hair. It won't do anything."

Sareyna giggled as she crossed the room. Alistair looked handsome in browns and tans, the outfit deceptively simple. It was the cut of it that made it look so good, emphasizing his broad shoulders and narrow waist as well as his muscled thighs. She looked him over slowly as she approached.

"That answers that question."

Sareyna raised her eyebrow in query.

"I was going to ask if this was alright to wear tonight."

She gave a short nod, still smiling as she took the comb in his hand. "Let's see." She ran the comb through his hair and watched where it fell. "It's getting long."

"I should really cut it. Do you think we have time?"

Sareyna shook her head, "How do you feel about a ponytail?"

He scowled, "Like Anders?"

"Not really, your hair isn't long enough for that yet, but" she pulled the top and sides of his hair back to show him. "we could do this."

Alistair turned his head a little to see it, he wasn't sure how he felt about it really. It was so different from how he had ever worn his hair. "Try it, let's see."

Sareyna reached into the vanity and pulled out a leather thong, she quickly wrapped it around the hair and tied it tight. Alistair reached up and touched it, turning his head again to try to get a better look.

"What do you think?"

"I kind of like it, Ali, but you don't have to wear it that way if you don't like it."

Alistair touched the back of his head feeling the short ponytail there and then running his fingers through the hair that was still loose and down. "I'll give it a try. At least it will keep it out of my face; it has been driving me crazy lately."

"Come have a drink with me and the guys before we head downstairs."

Alistair nodded and stood slowly.

"Been indulging already?"

"Just a couple." He smiled and followed her to the sitting room where Anders and Zevran were already seated and sipping from their tumblers.

"Tesoro, your hair."

Alistair cringed, "It looks bad?"

Zevran gave him a wicked smile, "No, it's very sexy."

Anders gave a non committal shrug, "It's alright."

Sareyna laughed, "You're just jealous because Alistair's hair isn't receding yet."

Anders glowered, "You take that back woman. I have a high forehead, a sign of intelligence I'll have you know. We can't all be cavemen."

Alistair and Zevran joined in Sareyna's laughter and Anders eventually followed suit.

"Do we have to go downstairs?"

Sareyna turned to Anders, "I thought you would be dying to play to your adoring public."

Anders sobered a little, "Actually, this is kind of nice, something small among friends."

"Anders, you did not put on that outfit just to sit here and have drinks with us." Sareyna chided.

Anders broke out into a grin again, "No, I put on this outfit to get laid."

"You seemed to be doing fine in your robes."

"I do better out of them."

They all broke out into laughter. After a moment Sareyna tipped her head back and blinked rapidly a few times. Alistair touched her arm. "'Reyna?"

Zevran turned to look at her too. "Querida, what is wrong?"

"I was just thinking how close we were to never having nights like this again."

"No more celebrations where we all have to dress up in our parent's clothing and pretend we're having fun? Oh, I'm all for that."

Sareyna mock glared at Anders and tossed a cushion at him. "Don't be an ass."

"Sorry dear, I was born this way."

"That explains a lot." She snarked then stretched before standing. "Come on guys, we better get down there."

"I second Anders' vote for staying up here." Zevran leaned back in his chair.

"Don't make me order you." Her voice more amused than annoyed.

There was a chorus of grumbles but they all stood and headed for the door with her.

"Let's get this over with." Anders muttered.


	13. Chapter 13

**Celebrate In Your Own Way**

As Anders and Zevran walked into the refectory, where almost everyone was already waiting for them, they were accosted. Sigrun flung herself at them, one arm as far as it would go around Anders' waist and one arm as far as it would go around Zevran's. She squealed in delight as she squeezed the duo.

Anders had a very inappropriate memory of a long conversation that he and Zevran shared in the Deep Roads and he found himself slightly aroused. Of course, being as close as she was, Sigrun noticed. She looked up at Anders without letting go of him and smirked.

"I missed you too, Anders."

Completely unapologetic, Anders gave her a wicked smile, "Care to show me?"

Sigrun laughed, "Now that's direct."

Anders shrugged, "Why waste time?"

"I like to dance, show me a good time tonight and I might just show you one."

Anders' brow furrowed as he tried to work out the mechanics of dancing with someone who was quite literally half your size.

Sareyna giggled, "Tallest man dancing with the shortest woman, that I have to see."

* * *

Anders let Sigrun pull him away chattering at him the whole way to the long table set up for the Wardens. Zevran waited for Sareyna and Alistair to catch up with him. He easily slid his arm under Sareyna's free arm and took her hand.

Alistair looked to Zevran amused, "Two escorts?"

"One for each title."

Sareyna laughed and half the room turned to look at her. She shrugged and let the men lead her into the room. She felt more than a little giddy, she couldn't remember the last time she felt so relaxed, so blessed. Her boys were all back where they belonged, safe and sound and under one roof.

* * *

Anders collapsed on the bench next to Zevran, his cheeks flushed from drink. "Every time I dance with her I feel like a pervert, and not the good kind."

Zevran spared his friend a smile.

"You alright, Zev?"

Zevran nodded, "I'm just taking it all in."

Anders was about to say something when Sigrun came back and grabbed his arm. "Come on, big boy. I thought you were going to show me a good time."

Anders chuckled; he snagged his goblet of wine off the table and drained it before he was pulled away. Zevran watched them with a small smile. It was good to see Anders genuinely smile, Zevran had been a little worried that the Deep Roads had ruined Anders' irrepressible nature.

He turned again to watch Alistair and Sareyna. Alistair had become more and more drunk as the night wore on. Now when he dragged Sareyna to the dance floor he spent more time groping her than actually dancing. When he wasn't dancing he was watching Zevran.

Zevran wasn't sure what the look on Alistair's face was, and that was what was so upsetting. Alistair was usually an open book. Sareyna and Alistair were sitting back at the table and they were talking about something. Finally, Sareyna kissed him on the forehead and left the room.

Alistair's gaze automatically slid back to Zevran before searching the table. He found the bottle of brandy he was looking for and poured it into his tumbler before downing it in one swig. He gazed back to Zevran and poured himself another measure of brandy.

"Oh, this is ridiculous." Zevran muttered as he stood up and walked towards Alistair. He sat down next to Alistair and as he was about to speak again Alistair seized his wrist under the table. "Alistair?"

Alistair turned his hand over and traced his finger over the pads of Zevran's fingers. Then he grinned and looked at Zevran. "You're hands are softer than hers."

Zevran cocked his head. "Whose?"

"'Reyna's, your hands are softer. I…I wondered if they were different." He suddenly looked at his empty tumbler again and taking a deep breath he poured himself some more.

"Tesoro, enough." He reached for Alistair's tumbler.

Alistair wrapped his hand around it. "No, I need it."

"Why? Are you and 'Reyna fighting?" Zevran felt Alistair's gaze on him, it felt like a caress and Zevran almost shivered.

Abruptly, Alistair stood up. "I should go." He turned and left the room quickly.

Zevran waited for a moment, not sure what to do before he opted to follow him. Alistair didn't normally drink, for him to be drinking so much something really had to be wrong. He left the room and scanned the main hall looking for Alistair.

Alistair must have moved quickly, he was already near the bottom of the steps. Zevran jogged over and touched Alistair's shoulder, "Alistair, plea..mmpf.." Zevran made a quizzical sound as he was shoved against the wall. Alistair pinned him there and crashed his mouth over Zevran's.

Zevran lost himself for a moment in the feel of the much larger man greedily claiming his mouth. There was no hesitation from Alistair, his tongue probed into Zevran's mouth and his fingers carded into Zevran's hair. It was exactly how Zevran pictured it would be like to be kissed by Alistair, all passion and fire and possession. But Alistair was drunk; Zevran slowly tried to pull out of the kiss and pushed Alistair away from him.

Alistair pulled away quickly and looked at the floor. "Sorry, I thought" Alistair's voice trailed off.

Zevran laid a reassuring hand on Alistair's arm. "Tesoro, I am only concerned that you have been drinking, and what about Sareyna?"

Alistair didn't look up and his voice was very quiet. "She's waiting upstairs for us."

Zevran felt like the air was sucked out of his lungs. "Us?" he asked hesitantly.

Alistair just nodded, still not meeting Zevran's gaze. Zevran could see the color on Alistair's cheeks and it wasn't all from drink. Zevran curled his finger under Alistair's chin and tipped his head up so he could see Alistair's eyes.

"Tesoro, I need you to be clear. Are you inviting me to your bed?" Zevran's heart was pounding in his chest and it was a near deafening sound.

Alistair nodded briefly, "I can't promise…I've never." Alistair paused and took a deep breath. He stepped close to Zevran again and caressed his face lightly, "I almost lost you, _we_ almost lost you. I was heartbroken. I've thought about this a lot, I want to try."

"And Sareyna?"

Alistair gave him a small smile. "You know how she feels about you." Alistair quickly stepped away from Zevran when they heard the doors to the refectory bang open and laughter trail out of it as a very drunk Oghren and an equally flushed Felsi left in a fit of cuddles and giggles.

Zevran pressed his lips together in a tight line briefly, "So, I am to be the dirty little secret?"

Alistair's cheeks flamed again, "No."

Zevran held up his hand. "It's alright Tesoro; it will not be the first time. And most people in the Keep are already convinced of it anyways."

Alistair looked back to where Oghren and Felsi were crossing the main hall. He turned back to Zevran and leaned forward to brush a gentle kiss across the assassin's lips before leaning into a more lingering kiss. Zevran took a deep breath when Alistair's voice caressed his ear, "I'm confused, not ashamed, never ashamed Zevran."

Alistair's hand slid down Zevran's arm and he took Zev's hand in his own before turning and heading up the steps. Alistair paused for a moment before heading into their bedroom as if to acknowledge that by entering it his whole life was about to change. Zevran waited patiently, this was all new for Alistair the least he could do was not act like an over eager teenager.

Zevran followed Alistair into the room and closed the door behind him. He quickly locked it as well before turning to see Sareyna sitting in a chair. Her shoes were off and her feet were apparently tucked up under her dress. Her hair was down and she had a smile on her face, she looked calm.

Alistair released Zevran's hand and walked to Sareyna and kissed her. Zevran watched as Alistair loosened the cincher at her waist and let it fall. Releasing her from the kiss he stepped back and Sareyna rose to her knees on the chair. Alistair pulled the dress up and over her head. He followed that with removing her chemise.

Alistair knelt down in front of the chair and untied Sareyna's breast band. Sareyna's eyes watched Zevran, he had expected to see hesitation in her eyes but she looked radiant, exultant. As the breast band joined the rest of her clothes on the floor Zevran found he was having a difficult time holding her gaze, his eyes wandered to the newly bared flesh.

Alistair, still not speaking, untied and removed Sareyna's smalls. He leaned forward and kissed her abdomen. "I love you." He whispered, Zevran barely heard him. Sareyna sat back down in the chair, her feet tucked up beside her as she lounged a little.

Zevran's fingers itched to touch that caramel colored skin. He could almost feel her nipples harden as he laved them with his tongue. He took a step forward and Sareyna shook her head, Zevran paused and she tilted her head towards Alistair who was standing again and was carefully avoiding looking at either of them.

Zevran smiled and moved to Alistair, he knelt before him and carefully removed his boots, instructing Alistair to lean on him to steady himself. Standing back up he slid his hands up under Alistair's tunic, his fingers caressing the warrior's smooth skin and scars alike.

Alistair took a sharp breath and took a little half step away. Zevran frowned and stopped touching him. Zevran was surprised to feel Sareyna behind him. She took his hands and slid them under Alistair's tunic again. She applied a bit of pressure as she traced their hands over Alistair's skin.

Her voice was quiet in his ear, "Alistair's ticklish, no feather light caresses for our fearsome warrior."

Zevran felt a small thrill run up his spine at her use of the word 'our'.

She released his hands, "Take it off." She whispered and Zevran complied.

Alistair bent forward a little so Zevran could pull the tunic over his head. The sight of Alistair without his shirt made Zevran smile, the man was a wall of muscle. He ran his hands over the ripples of Alistair's abdomen to the hard planes of his chest. He looked up and saw Alistair watching him intently.

Zevran let his hands slip back down and he ran a fingertip over the top of Alistair's light tan trousers. With his gaze on Alistair he was surprised to see Alistair's eyes darken, it sent a thrill through him, tingles racing across his skin briefly.

Sareyna had resumed her position in her chair, lounging comfortably and watching the pair of them with a small smile. Zevran thought again, how amazing she was, how utterly and completely different from any woman he had known, he was lucky just to have her in his life, let alone have her affection.

Zevran knelt on the floor and heard Alistair take a deep breath. He looked back up at Alistair and smiled as he reached for his laces. Alistair started to get hard as Zevran worked out the knot and loosened them. Zevran tried not to be impatient, he wanted Alistair naked, wanted to see the warrior's body, all of it. He carefully pulled them down Alistair's legs and held them as Alistair stepped awkwardly out of them, his natural grace lost through the haze of brandy.

As he reached for Alistair's smalls Alistair grabbed his hands. "Wait."

Zevran felt a pang of disappointment and held still and watched Alistair struggle with himself. As the seconds stretched out Zevran prepared himself to offer to leave but Alistair eventually released his wrists.

"Sorry, I'm alright now."

"Are you sure, Tesoro?"

Alistair nodded, "Please Zev, take them off."

Zevran felt a flush of heat across his skin at Alistair's words. He quickly divested Alistair of his smalls. Once they were gone Zevran drank in the sight of Alistair's impressive size up close. He was about to trace a fingertip down the soft velvety skin when Sareyna reached out and took his wrist.

"Now, now Zev, no fair; you're still dressed."

Zevran let out a little chuckle and backed away a little, bending to untie the laces on his boots. But Alistair held his hand out for Zevran to take. Zevran took it and let Alistair pull him back to his feet. Sareyna knelt in front of him and worked to remove his boots.

Zevran watched the muscles in her shoulders bunch and flex under her caramel skin as she worked on getting them off of him. Hesitantly, he let his fingers trail across her scar. She tensed up for a second before taking a deep breath and trembling a little.

"I'm sorry, Querida." He hadn't meant to upset her.

She finished pulling off his boot and looked up at him, she stood and caressed his cheek, "It's alright, I'm just not used to anyone touching it besides Alistair."

Alistair's voice was quiet beside her, "I don't even do it that much, she still reacts like that when I touch it."

Zevran reached forward and ran the pad of his thumb over the part of the scar under her breast. "That's a shame." He lowered his voice "I look forward to worshipping every inch of it. Showing you with my lips, my tongue, just how beautiful it is."

Sareyna trembled again and Zevran gave her a knowing smile. Sareyna stepped away from him and Alistair and moved back to her chair, Zevran noticed she traced her scar where he had touched her. His attention was pulled back to Alistair when the warrior's fingers moved to Zevran's clothes.

Alistair gingerly released the toggles on Zevran's vest and slid it off the assassin's shoulders. He tugged Zevran's tunic off over his head, his fingers barely brushing Zevran's skin, the warrior seemed impatient until he got to Zevran's trousers. He hesitated again, Zevran tried to be patient but with Alistair's fingers lingering a hair's breadth away his nerves were starting to fray.

Sareyna reached between them, her hand grazing Zevran's laces as if she were about to do it for Alistair when Alistair batted her hand away gently. "I can do it." His voice was low and husky and Zevran felt himself start to stiffen at the sound. Alistair's voice was incredibly sexy like that, and it made Zevran wonder what the warrior would sound like calling out his name in passion.

With trembling fingers Alistair worked the laces and removed Zevran's trousers, there was only a second's hesitation before he reached for the laces on Zevran's smalls and in a moment those too were gone. Alistair stood up abruptly and stepped away from Zevran. Zevran was about to protest when he noticed Alistair's eyes roving hungrily over his body.

"The tattoos, dear Maker Zevran, you're beautiful." Alistair's voice sounded awed.

Zevran chuckled a little and opened his mouth to speak when Sareyna stood between them. She grabbed their wrists and started dragging them through the bedroom and then through the wardrobe. "I have a surprise for the two of you."

Zevran looked to Alistair but Alistair just shrugged. She released them to open the door to the bathing chamber and let them into the steam filled room. Alistair cocked his head a little, "I don't think the three of us are going to fit love."

She smiled, "It's not for me. It's for the two of you." She pointed to a chair in the corner of the room. "I'm just going to watch and make sure you play nice."

Zevran grinned as he headed for the tub, "Querida, you are amazing."

"I know." She walked over to the chair and curled up in it as she had in the sitting room.

Alistair climbed into the tub after Zevran, sitting across from him. For a few moments the two of them just sat there relaxing and enjoying the warmth. Alistair had closed his eyes and was slouching in the tub while Zevran's eyes were taking in every inch of the broad shouldered warrior.

Alistair was paler than Sareyna, but long hours in the sun, traveling and training had turned his skin a beautiful bronze, which accentuated the pale lines and pits of the man's scars. Zevran spent long minutes staring at the puckered scars on his chest that the High dragon had left. But his attention turned again and again to two small barely visible scars, one on the warrior's right shoulder and another near the top of his left leg. They were probably insignificant in the map that made up Alistair's scarred body, but to Zevran they were life itself.

He knew those two were from Alistair standing above Zevran's prone and paralyzed form protecting him from any threat. The arrows that had hit Alistair had been poisoned, but Alistair stayed upright and kept fighting until he was sure Zevran was safe.

Zevran had never really considered himself submissive in anyway, though he could act the part, until that day. The sight of Alistair standing above him, feral snarl on his lips, pierced through with poisoned arrows and destroying anything that came near the two of them had sent a bolt of desire through Zevran so strong, he had been completely taken aback.

Zevran shook his head a little, clearing away thoughts of the past and reveling instead on the present. The man he had fantasized about more than any other in his life was splayed out naked and wet in front of him. He couldn't keep from licking his lips as the possibilities.

He grabbed a washing cloth off of the stool next to the tub and dipped it into the water. The sandalwood soap made him hum in pleasure as he took a deep breath, inhaling its familiar scent. He worked the soap into a lather in the cloth and moved to his knees.

Alistair's eyes opened at the movement. "What are you doing?"

Zevran just smiled and moved a bit closer kneeling between Alistair's spread thighs. He sat down on his heels as he brought the cloth to Alistair's chest and began working it in circles. Alistair stayed still and rigid for a few beats before relaxing.

"That feels nice." He murmured, closing his eyes again.

Zevran half massaged, half washed as he moved the cloth over Alistair. He moved it across his chest and over his broad shoulders. He worked slowly down each arm and then each finger. He scooted closer and reached around Alistair as best he could to wash Alistair's back. As he worked lower and reached the top of the tub Alistair unexpectedly sat up and wrapped an arm around Zevran to keep the assassin from falling backwards.

Zevran sighed with contentment feeling the other man's flesh pressed against his and Alistair's arm holding him. He eagerly finished washing Alistair's back tearing himself away from Alistair with some reluctance when he was done. He moved the cloth under the water and cleaned Alistair's foot then up to his calf and finally his thigh, as he neared Alistair's erection he moved back and started with the other foot.

Finished with both legs he dragged the cloth across Alistair's stomach and started working in small circles again. He moved lower and lower noticing how Alistair's hips were twitching upward slightly. He moved purposely slowly. Still, he was surprised when he heard Alistair's voice.

"If you don't touch me Zevran I'm going to kick you out of our room permanently." Alistair's eyes were still shut but his breath was coming faster.

Zevran chuckled and turned to reach for the soap. "Well I definitely don't want that." With the soap slicking his hand he wrapped it around Alistair who hissed and bucked his hips. "You _are_ big all over."

Alistair opened his eyes and looked to where Zevran's hand, a bit smaller than Sareyna's, worked up and down him. Zevran tried not to compare him to Anders, and there wasn't really much of a comparison. Anders was well endowed, but Alistair was gifted. And where Anders was tight and controlled, Alistair was vocal and passionate.

Alistair moaned and writhed at Zevran's touch. Zevran pulled his hand away. "Get on your knees." His words were barely above a whisper.

Alistair struggled to get to his knees, the muscles in his thighs twitching below the skin. Zevran backed away and bent forward, hand around Alistair's erection as he licked the head experimentally. Alistair gripped the edges of the tub with a curse.

Zev pulled back and looked up. "Is this alright with you, Tesoro?"

Alistair let out a breathy laugh. "If you had any idea how many times I imagined you doing this you wouldn't need to ask."

Zevran took that as a yes and bent back to his task. He swirled his tongue over the head and flicked his tongue against the sensitive underside a few times. Zevran was enjoying teasing Alistair with light licks and soft kisses along the velvety flesh. Alistair's hands clenched and unclenched on the edges of the tub.

"I wouldn't tease him too much Zev, he can be," Sareyna stopped and chuckled as Alistair fisted his hand in Zevran's hair and pushed Zevran's head down as he thrust upwards. "forceful."

Zevran relaxed his throat and let Alistair do as he willed. Not that he would have had much choice, Alistair was a lot bigger than Zevran was. He was thankful that Alistair had the presence of mind not to thrust too deep or too hard, he was a lot to handle.

Zevran closed his eyes, enjoying the feel of Alistair's hot and velvety soft skin on his tongue. Alistair's moans and frequent curses were music to Zevran's ears. It was only a few minutes before Alistair's hips arched forward sharply and he cried out Zev's name, _"Maker, I would do anything to hear him do that again."_ He thought. Alistair's voice was deep and rich, passionate and almost a little desperate sounding as he spilled into Zevran's mouth. Zev swallowed quickly, then licked Alistair until Alistair used the hand in his hair to pull him away.

Alistair let Zevran go, "I'm sorry Zev." Alistair sank down onto his heels.

Zevran sat back, resting against the tub. "No need for apologies, Tesoro."

Alistair snorted.

Zevran just smiled.

Alistair reached for the washing cloth and soap and moved closer to Zevran. He touched the cloth to Zevran's skin almost hesitantly at first. Zevran held as still as possible, almost holding his breath so he wouldn't startle Alistair. Alistair worked the soap over Zevran's chest, just as Zevran had done to him.

It didn't last long. He had barely washed much of Zevran at all when he abandoned the cloth and began to trace his fingers along the whorls of Zevran's tattoos. Each questing line that Alistair traced left Zevran more excited and breathless.

Alistair's hands became more and more sure of themselves, not just tracing lines now, but caressing Zevran's skin. Zevran's skin was humming and he ached for Alistair to touch him in the one place he seemed to be avoiding. Alistair leaned forward and kissed Zevran; he traced his tongue lightly over Zevran's lips and slipped between them.

He deepened the kiss until Zevran moaned low in his throat. Alistair pulled away a little and nuzzled his neck. Zevran's erection was screaming for attention.

"Please Alistair." Zevran's voice was raw.

Alistair shuddered against him and stopped nuzzling Zevran. He rested his head on Zevran's shoulder as he moved one of his hands down from Zevran's shoulder. At first it was barely a caress and Zevran wasn't even sure if Alistair had actually touched him. The second time Alistair wrapped his hand around Zevran, who let out a loud moan of satisfaction.

As Alistair's hand began to move up and down him Zevran wondered how the whole of your awareness could shrink down to one sensation. Alistair's hand was large and strong, gripping Zevran tightly, the roughness of his calluses were nothing like the soft touches he had so often received.

Alistair's grip on him was almost painful, he lingered in that haze of pleasure on the cusp of pain and it made his breath hitch. Alistair lifted his head from Zevran's shoulder and looked Zevran in the eye.

"I can't," he paused and licked his lips and tried again. "I don't think I can," his voice trailed off and his gaze flicked down to where his hand was gripping Zevran before he gave Zevran a pained look.

Zevran nodded, understanding, "Just don't stop what you're doing, please."

His fears calmed, Alistair smiled and redoubled his efforts. Zevran stopped trying to control himself and began thrusting up into Alistair's hand, moans flowing freely from him as he chased after his peak in Alistair's strong grip.

He fought to keep his eyes open; he wanted that visual, the constant knowledge that this was Alistair touching him. It was more intoxicating than even Alistair's touch. Zevran grabbed a handful of Alistair's hair and pulled him in for a rough kiss. Zevran's whole body was undulating, touching as much of Alistair's skin as he could.

Alistair pulled out of the kiss and nipped at Zevran's ear. Zevran cried out in surprise then purred when Alistair licked gently at the bite. Zevran's other hand gripped Alistair's bicep squeezing it in time to his hip's thrusts. Zevran was breathing in harsh little gasps, he was so very close. He felt as if his whole world was about to explode into a million pieces.

"Come for me, Zevran."

Zevran gasped and arched his back as his body obeyed Alistair's command. It felt like it would never stop, Alistair loosened his grip only slightly but kept his hand moving. Zevran shuddered against Alistair and murmured, "Enough" as he became too sensitive.

Alistair placed a gentle kiss on Zevran's lips and pulled away to sit back at his end of the tub. Zevran took deep breaths and composed himself. He glanced up to see that Alistair looked suddenly shy and very unsure of himself, even managing a bit of a blush again. Before Zevran could ask if Alistair was alright Sareyna was at the side of the tub.

She held a towel in each hand. The two men stood, each taking a towel. They climbed out of the tub and quickly dried themselves off. Sareyna watched with a slight smile on her lips. "Come on."

The men followed back to the bedroom and she climbed into the bed and looked at the two men expectantly. Alistair shifted from one foot to the other, looking even more uncomfortable.

"Tesoro, I can leave if you would prefer."

Alistair shook his head, "Stay, please." The words weren't much more than a whisper.

Zevran looked to Sareyna.

She gave him another smile, her face asking him to trust her. "You boys must be tired, come lay down."

Alistair moved towards the bed and climbed hesitantly into it, settling down next to Sareyna. Zevran, still looking to Sareyna, climbed into the bed after him and lay down beside him, but was careful not to touch him.

"I think we've all had enough excitement for one day."

Alistair looked relieved for a moment which then turned to concern as he looked at Sareyna. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, Ali. Let's get some sleep, I'm tired." Sareyna lay down on her side and Alistair curled up around her.

Zevran watched them with a smile and lay down behind Alistair. He was half asleep already when he felt Alistair's hand on his arm tugging him closer. Zevran scooted over until his side rested against Alistair's back. He was surprised when Alistair reached for him again. Zevran relented and curled up against Alistair's back. He almost giggled at how small he felt curled up against him.

Zevran tried not to think about the next morning when the booze would wear off and Alistair would be able to think about all of this with a clear head. Would he be as accepting tomorrow as he had been tonight? It seemed at moments that he was already having regrets.

Zevran sighed and pushed the thoughts away. He nuzzled Alistair's shoulder and heard him sigh contentedly. All three were blessedly fast asleep in a matter of minutes.


	14. Chapter 14

**Celebrate In Your Own Way, Part 2**

Anders was sitting on the sofa in his room and Sigrun was pulling his boots off. He closed his eyes briefly and wondered how Zevran had gotten past how small she was, it felt slightly creepy and he was terrified to hurt her. Once his boots were removed he opened his eyes and saw Sigrun turn around.

"Unlace this."

He had the laces untied in a flash. As she pulled off the rigid vest Anders got a good look at her figure for the first time. Tentatively he reached out and caressed her waist with his hand. She smiled at him and pulled off the tunic quickly followed by her breast band. The woman had some beautiful curves.

Sigrun took his hand and placed it on her breast. "You can touch me Anders. Maker knows you've touched every other girl in the Keep and most of the men."

Anders shook his head a little as if to clear it. "Sorry, you're just so small."

Sigrun scowled, "You've been with other dwarven women, I know you have."

"Just the one and she's nearly a head taller than you."

Sigrun rolled her eyes and pulled the rest of her clothes off, then started taking off Anders'. Once she had Anders naked she pushed him back onto the sofa. She ran her hand over his erection; she gave a chuckle and a shake of her head. "Wow." She flicked her eyes up to meet Anders' "I've never been with a human before, this will be interesting."

"Sigrun…" Anders' voice was quiet and concerned.

"If you make some stupid comment about hurting me Anders, so help me I will beat you black and blue."

Anders was silent.

"Good, now show me you're not all talk."

Anders chuckled, "Yes, ma'am."

Sigrun sat on the sofa and Anders slid an arm around behind her before turning their bodies and laying her down. He held himself above her, concerned with crushing her, as he kissed her. Her lips were soft and parted easily for him.

His long fingers traced down her cheek and along her jaw. Sigrun moaned and shifted, pushing herself up a little to wrap an arm around his neck. Anders felt the familiar tingling along his spine when she pulled the thong from his hair and let it cascade loose.

She broke the kiss and laid back, she gave him a broad grin, "I have been dying to see you with your hair loose. Why do you always wear it tied back?"

He smirked at her, "I'm less likely to set it on fire that way."

She ran her fingers through it, "It's soft like a woman's."

"I don't know whether to be flattered or insulted."

Sigrun shrugged and pushed herself up to nip at his collarbone. Anders eyes drifted shut as she kissed the sensitive spot and ran her tongue over it, tingles running up the back of his neck. His hand skirted down her side and over her hip. He gripped her backside lightly as she rolled her hips.

He shifted moving farther down, still holding himself above her. Anders' tongue flicked out and over one of Sigrun's nipples causing her to arch her back and pull down on him, pushing her chest against his mouth. He traced slow circles around her areole before taking the tightened nub into his mouth. Her skin tasted faintly of salt from their exertions on the dance floor.

Anders pushed away the small doubts in the back of his head telling him that this was a bad idea, that she was too small. Her curves certainly felt all woman. He switched to her other nipple and grinned against her skin when she let out another moan followed by another roll of her hips. He teased her nipples back and forth watching Sigrun as she tossed her head back and forth lost in the sensation.

Kissing a wet trail down her stomach he felt her muscles twitching beneath her skin, her skin was unbelievably soft, for someone who did nothing but fight for a living. For a brief moment he thought about the mages in the tower, pale and soft, never seeing a hard day's labor in their lives, skin soft from lack of exposure and too much time for primping.

He pushed the thoughts roughly away, Sigrun certainly wasn't doughy like the mages, or weak like most of them either. She was vital, beautiful and full of life. He ran his hand over one short but shapely leg before dropping a soft kiss on her mound. Dropping farther still he dropped another soft kiss on her labia. Anders inhaled, taking in her musky scent, she certainly smelled like a woman.

Unable to stop himself he slid the tip of his tongue up between the lips of her sex, tasting her. Anders moaned as her taste touched his tongue. He had meant to tease her, to make her beg but his body had a different plan. He licked her sex again, tracing his tongue up over and around her clit.

He held her hips in his hands as his lips closed around her clit and he suckled on the hot flesh. Sigrun's hand moved to his hair and Anders moaned at the feeling. His tongue circled her opening before darting just the tip inside of her. Her hips bucked in his hands and he delved a bit deeper before withdrawing. She tasted so good, and her scent was making his pulse pound.

He flicked the tip of his tongue against her clit quickly and lightly. Sigrun twisted in his grip, seemingly unsure what to do under this gentle assault. She drew her legs up and planted her feet on the sofa and pushed up into Anders' face.

Anders took the hint and dipped his tongue back inside of her, relishing the tangy flavor of her. Working her with his tongue using shallow thrusts before one deep one followed by several shallow ones. Her juices were coating his face and he groaned in pleasure. Anders turned his attention to her labia licking along the length of them before returning to the fluttering movements against her clit.

Sigrun's other hand wound into his hair and she pulled him tight against her sex, grinding it against his face. Anders used his grip on her hips to pull her back so he could move. He dipped into her sex again, several shallow thrusts of his tongue before returning to her clit. Anders was moaning almost as much as Sigrun was at this point.

Sigrun's grip in his hair tightened as he suddenly thrust his tongue deep inside of her. Sigrun's hips rocked as she tried to ride Anders' tongue. He thrust it into her a few more times before flicking against her swollen clit again. Sigrun's breathing was fast and Anders felt the muscles of her thighs tighten as they squeezed against the sides of his head.

He waited until he knew she was just a breath away from orgasm then wrapped his lips around her clit again and sucked hard. Sigrun nearly screamed as her body clenched hard and her sex spasmed. Anders held her hips and licked her clean. When Sigrun seemed to be finished he sat up and smiled at her, quite pleased with himself.

"Sweet Ancestors Anders, I want to bronze your tongue." She was still panting with a cat that ate the canary grin on her face.

Anders chuckled. "It would be much less useful that way."

Sigrun moved to sit astride Anders' lap, his erection trapped between them. She ran her hand down its length again. "Would you like me to return the favor?"

Anders didn't even try to picture that, he shook his head, "Unnecessary." Sigrun raised herself up and took a hold of Anders' erection. Anders' eyes went wide as he realized what she was going to do. He grabbed her waist and held her still. "What are you doing?"

Sigrun raised an eyebrow. "Didn't think I would need to explain that to you."

Anders shook his head, "You can't, you'll hurt yourself. Let me at least prepare you a little."

"I like a bit of pain."

Anders' whole body shuddered, "Please don't say that."

Sigrun got a confused look on her face and she sat back down on Anders' lap. "Was that excitement or revulsion?"

Anders chuckled darkly, "Both."

"You like to hurt women?"

"Don't look at me like that. I only like it if they like it too, but…I have been known to get a little too rough. So, I try to avoid it." Anders waited for her to leave. It wouldn't be the first time a woman left after learning that about him.

Instead, she moved and kissed him. When she pulled away she spoke softly, "Definitely something I want to explore in the future, but for tonight, just let me handle things."

Anders nodded, surprised, and stayed still as she raised herself up again. He felt himself brush against her entrance and he inhaled sharply. She was warm and wet and he knew she was going to be unbearably tight. She bore down slightly trying to push him into her.

When nothing happened she pushed down harder and was rewarded with progress. The tip of his erection was inside of her and Anders clenched his hands into fists so he wouldn't grab her hips and try to pull her down on him more fully.

She took her time, pushing and relaxing until the head was inside of her. He kissed her forehead where there was a light sheen of sweat. She was so tight Anders actually ached a little. Anders had been with his fair share of virgins, human and elven, but not even they had been so tight.

Sigrun moved slowly, barely moving up and down at first as she slowly started taking more of him inside of her body. Suddenly she laughed and Anders jerked, crying out a little at the sudden added pressure. She gave him an apologetic smile.

"And just what is so funny?"

"I was just thinking, 'I'll never be the same after this.'" She giggled again. "But that's okay; I'm not really into dwarven men anyways."

Anders chuckled with her, "That's really bad; we shouldn't be laughing at that."

Sigrun smiled again and slid down taking just a little more inside of her. Anders tried to think about other things besides how tight she was, he didn't want to disappoint them both as well as embarrass himself by finishing before she had even really started.

Sigrun stopped and leaned forward against his chest. She was panting and her whole body was slicked with sweat. Anders traced his fingertips up and down her back as she held still. Just a little over half of him was inside of her and he could feel her cervix. Again, he briefly doubted the wisdom of this evening's little adventure.

Sigrun pushed herself back up and the smile she gave him was radiant, blissful. "Are you ready?"

Anders gave a brief nod, "Whenever you are."

Sigrun braced her hands on Anders' shoulders and began to move. Her teeth were gritted as she rose slowly then began to lower herself.

"Oh, holy fuck." Anders cursed as he felt himself squeezed in the vise like grip of her sex again. Sparks danced in the air around him.

"Fireworks, for me?" Sigrun giggled which made Anders cry out. Sigrun steadily picked up her pace as it became easier for her to move. It was barely five minutes when Anders felt the familiar tightening in his balls. He closed his eyes and started counting; sometimes it helped him get himself back under control. The air, which still crackled around them, became thick with the cool energy of Anders' magic. A faint blue glow pulsed around the two of them and Anders struggled to get it back under control.

Sigrun didn't stop or slow but asked, "Will it hurt us?"

Anders was only able to shake his head no. He tried counting again, but soon realized it really wasn't going to help much; the friction was just too intense. "Sigrun, I'm not going to last much longer." He panted.

"Just a little longer, big boy."

Anders took deep breaths and used a spot of magic on himself to forestall his orgasm. A couple of minutes later Sigrun was screaming out her climax, nails digging into Anders' shoulders and her sex spasming almost painfully around him again. Anders body couldn't hold off anymore, not even with the help of magic. He gripped the seat of the sofa hard to stop himself from trying to pull her down more as he came inside her with her body still bucking against his.

Anders dropped his head back, letting it rest on the back of the sofa trying to pull himself back together enough to form coherent thought. Sigrun's head rested against Anders' chest for a moment and she placed a soft kiss on his shoulder before she climbed off of him and collapsed onto the sofa. "That was…"

"Embarrassing?" Anders helpfully supplied.

"I don't normally finish that fast either, but these were extenuating circumstances." She pushed herself upright and giggled again. "I'm going to walk funny for a week."

Anders grinned for a moment then took a deep breath to wipe it off his face. "I can help with that if you'd like."

Sigrun shook her head no. "I worked hard to earn those aches." She sighed and rolled off the sofa, searching for her clothes.

"Did you want to stay, Sigrun?"

Sigrun turned back to him and patted his cheek, "Aren't you sweet. No, I prefer to sleep in my own bed, but thanks for the offer." She started pulling on her clothes and Anders watched her. Once she was dressed she gave him a quick kiss and disappeared out the door.

As the door clicked shut Anders frowned, "I feel a bit used." He said to no one in particular. He cringed a little thinking about all the people whose bedchambers he had slipped out of in the middle of the night. Standing, he stretched slowly, "I never promise them anything but a little fun." He chuckled, "Why am I justifying myself, to myself?"

He moved to the ewer of water and poured a little into the enameled bowl and used it to clean himself up a bit. Feeling the night's festivities, both downstairs as well as in his room, pulling fatigue into his limbs he collapsed naked into his bed and promptly passed out.


	15. Chapter 15

**Two For One**

Alistair woke up when he felt Sareyna go rigid in front of him. He eyes opened slowly and his head throbbed. He froze a second when he felt someone curled against his back before he remembered that Zevran was also in the bed with them. He pushed that out of his mind as he turned Sareyna a little and saw that she was dreaming.

Moving carefully he slid towards the foot of the bed, not wanting to disturb Zevran. Climbing from the bed he saw that Zevran was dreaming as well. He waffled for a moment about dressing them both but when Zevran let out a strangled sound and a line of drool slid down his chin Alistair ran to the sitting room and quickly pulled on his trousers.

A moment later he was pounding on Anders' door. He heard a muffled thump behind the door, probably as Anders slid heavily from his bed, "This better be important." Anders voice carried clearly through the door as he growled. Alistair waited impatiently beyond for Anders to open it. Anders yanked open the door with a glare in just his trousers.

"It's 'Reyna and Zev. They're dreaming again, but it's different. Please, come quick."

Anders sighed and followed Alistair back to his room. "I would kill this Renault for a good night's sleep."

Alistair strode quickly into the bedroom, "You and I both."

* * *

Anders froze as they crossed the threshold into the bedroom. Zevran was in the bed with Sareyna and they were both clearly naked. His gaze slid to Alistair who looked disheveled and was only wearing trousers. Anders wasn't ready for the flood of emotion that washed over him, bitter and jealous.

Nausea rose in him like a wave and he gripped the door frame for a moment until he could get himself back under control. Choosing for the moment to ignore the revelation of a naked Zevran in his brother's bed he crossed the room to see the short jerking movement both Zevran and Sareyna were making.

He turned to Alistair as he held his hands over Sareyna, his sapphire healing magic flowing over her to see what was different. "Did they take the potion?"

Alistair nodded, "I made sure they both did."

Anders nodded, circling the bed to repeat the examination with Zevran. He sighed pushing his loose hair back and tucking one side behind his ear. "It doesn't seem to be working as well as it did before. We need to try to give them both more."

Alistair pulled open a drawer on the bureau and took out a flask. "Here's one of 'Reyna's, I'll go get one of Zev's." He handed the flask to Anders and jogged from the room.

Anders sat on the side of the bed and pulled Sareyna upright to lean against him. He tipped her head back and opened her mouth. As he poured a small amount into her mouth he spoke quietly, "You're lucky I love you like a sister, because right now I'm struggling not to despise you for having Zevran's love." He massaged her throat and the liquid went down.

Sighing, he repeated the process, making quite a mess as she jerked and twitched against him periodically. He glanced up when Alistair came back into the room with another flask.

"Do you think you can give Zev his?"

Alistair nodded and moved to the other side of the bed. As he pulled Zevran against him his skin flushed and Anders wondered briefly if it was from embarrassment or arousal. Alistair tipped Zevran's head back and mimicked what he saw Anders doing.

* * *

Flemeth wandered the Wilds almost aimlessly. Her eyes were rimmed with dark circles and her hair was a wild tangle. She wasn't sure exactly how long she had been wandering, time seemed strange, her mind would try to grasp at the idea and it would slip away.

"We need shelter." The statement was flat and her voice hollow.

She laughed, a deep and rich sound like it came right from her toes. "Where? There is nothing in the Wilds but woods and the Chasind. We'll die before we find shelter."

After a long silence she spoke again. "We'll build it."

"With what? We have no tools; we can not merely imagine things into existence here. This is not the Fade." Her words were tinged with bitterness.

"We need to find water, build near it so we always have water to drink."

There was no response just a heavy sigh. Her skin tingled and prickled and everything took on a yellowish hue. Flemeth retched as her perspective rapidly changed, suddenly she was seeing everything from far above and she could feel everything all at once.

The rustle of wind in the trees was dry gentle kisses along her skin. The insects in the ground were clicks and chirps in her ears. The wolves running through the wilds was her pulse racing in her veins. The birds swooping and flying were the pounding of her heart. The heavy clouds above them were a gentle caress over her hair.

And then she felt it, she could taste it, the clear running water of a stream. Once again confined to the restrictions of her body Flemeth suddenly felt cramped and alone. "What was that?"

"A little magic, just to find our way."

"You said you would teach me your magic."

"It is our magic, and you will learn it as we learn each other. Now we head south."

Flemeth's feet started moving again, but this time with purpose and drive.

* * *

Even after both flasks were emptied, it seemed to take forever for the unconscious pair to stop twitching. Anders held Sareyna concentrating on her and not on the pair across the bed. When she seemed to settle he laid her back down and moved off the bed. With his back to the bed he took deep breaths then laughed a little, the sound more than a little self deprecating.

"Anders?"

Anders turned around, an amused expression on his face. Alistair had laid Zevran down and was now standing only a few feet from Anders. "Yes?"

"What's wrong?" His quick glance to the bed betrayed that he already knew.

"Jealousy is such an ugly emotion."

Alistair couldn't quite hold Anders' gaze. "I didn't mean to hurt you, Anders."

Anders shrugged, "He was never mine, Ali. He has always loved you and Sareyna. He was open and honest about it. I just never thought…"

"I'm sorry."

Smiling, even though it hurt Anders tried to wipe that sad look from Alistair's face. "I'll get over it. A few nights of spirited company and I'll be right as rain. Come on, we have patients to attend to." He moved back towards the bed and sat near the end. "I couldn't wake them up in the Deep Roads, I tried. But if you want I can go get Morrigan."

"Are they alright for now?"

Anders nodded.

"Then let's let them be for now." He sat at the foot of the bed as well, watching them both.

Anders stretched and yawned. "So, a threesome, I didn't think you had it in you, Ali."

Alistair didn't bother to correct him. "It wouldn't be my first."

Anders raised his brow, looking a little incredulous. "Was it someone I know?"

Alistair feigned a nonchalant shrug but failed miserably. "Probably not, she was a pirate captain Sareyna and I met in Denerim. Her name was Isabela. And no one else knows, so keep your mouth shut."

"Alistair you expect me to believe you bedded another woman besides your wife, and a pirate at that? That's a bit hard to swallow."

"Ask Sareyna." Alistair suddenly flushed.

Anders chuckled, "It must have been good to make you blush like that just from the memory."

"Tell you a secret?"

"Isn't that what we're doing? Learning your dirty little secrets?"

"Oh, nevermind." Alistair sighed, frustrated.

"Sorry Alistair, you're just so easy. What was it?"

"I've never really had anyone to talk to about this. And I don't normally brag, but it felt good to make her shut her mouth."

"Hmm, I can think of a few ways to shut a woman up." Anders smirked.

Alistair shook his head looking disgusted, "Not like that, I was nervous. Really nervous, fumbling fingers and apologies, it was bad. And while Sareyna was trying to get me to relax Isabela was giving me flack. But once I relaxed and started enjoying myself, I was fine. Isabela, on the other hand, had to beg off. Said we were wearing her out. So Sareyna and I enjoyed ourselves while she recovered." He stopped and chuckled, "She had the audacity to ask Sareyna if she could borrow me. Can you believe that?"

"Gotta love that Grey Warden stamina."

Alistair nodded and laughed quietly. "That's for sure."

"Sex crazed lunatic must run in the family."

"I don't think Morrigan would agree."

"Shows how little you know. She and Nathaniel have quite the reputation around the Keep." Anders grinned. "Or haven't you noticed that she's a lot less bitchy."

Alistair snorted, "Yes, I guess that does explain a few things."

* * *

It took them two days to find the stream. Flemeth drank deeply, slaking her thirst before she waded into the frigid water. She started cleaning the caked dirt and grime from her exhausted body. The water revived her and she climbed out of the stream with a vigor she hadn't felt in weeks.

She looked around, trying to find a place to start to build. She found a small natural clearing and decided to build her new home there. It would be small, but it would be temporary, just until she learned her new magic and didn't feel like she was going to lose her mind at any second.

"Now what?"

"Magic."

Flemeth felt a flicker in her mind and a yellow haze covered her vision again. Her hands raised and as she made a shoving motion the earth was moved, a flattened square of dirt was left, the dirt and grass that had covered the space a moment ago were in a pile behind the cleared land.

She turned and walked through the woods. She paused looking a large tree over when it suddenly snapped near the base and landed on the ground next to her. Flemeth flinched at the loud crash, or rather her mind did, her body had stood stock still.

A small movement of her hand ripped the branches from the main trunk. She walked down the length of the trunk and when she stopped a pain stabbed at the center of her forehead.

"Wait, that hurts."

The response was impatient. "Death from the elements will hurt more. This takes a lot of concentration, something you don't seem to be capable of. Let me handle it."

The pain flared again for a moment then was gone, but Flemeth felt like she was floating in an ocean, bobbing on the waves as she watched fibers of the tree breaking slowly and neatly. It took time but there ended up being a nearly neat cut through the trunk making a smaller log. Moving down the log the procedure was repeated twice more.

Flemeth collapsed next to the last cut and sat panting covered in sweat, the ocean was gone but her head ached horribly. Flemeth closed her eyes and drifted off.

Andraste was flustered, she did not understand how a mage could be so powerful yet have so little ability to concentrate. Her power was raw and wild, almost uncontrollable. Flemeth's body and mind fought her every step of the way, it took a concentrated effort to get it to execute the simplest of tasks.

Flemeth's sleeping mind was soothing. Andraste let herself be carried away on the tide of Flemeth's dreams and into the Fade. She still wanted to find Renault.

* * *

Zevran opened his eyes slowly blinking a few times. He lifted his head and gave Alistair and Anders a weak smile. It bothered him only for a moment that seeing them watching him sleep was so normal that his tired mind readily accepted it. Turning, he saw Sareyna stirring beside him.

"Are you two alright?" Anders' voice only sounded a little strained and Zevran chose to ignore it for now.

They both nodded and Sareyna yawned and turned to look at Zevran. "That was…interesting."

Zevran chuckled, "That was definitely not how I planned to get inside of you."

Sareyna laughed and Alistair made a strange choking noise.

"Do I want to know?" he queried.

Zevran shook his head ruefully, "I'm not sure_ I_ want to know."

"What was it?" Anders asked softly. Zevran could see the pain in Anders' eyes and felt a momentary pang of guilt.

Zevran was still learning how to navigate emotional waters and he felt awful that Anders had been another casualty of Zevran's inexperience. Trying not to think about it for the moment he forged forward intrepidly, trying to find a way to explain his bizarre dream with Sareyna. Maybe simplicity was the key, at least until he wrapped his head around it himself, "Flemeth is Andraste."

"What?" Alistair and Anders asked in perfect harmony.

Zevran felt a little tug at his heart; sometimes it was hard not to see they were brothers. "Andraste was the spirit that slew Conobar as well as the spirit she eventually merged with in The Wilds." Zevran tried to keep his tone matter of fact; he needed time to clear his head. "How long before daylight?"

"A few hours still."

Zev nodded to Alistair, "Maybe we should wait till morning and tell the whole story. This dream ties into the one we had in the Deep Roads. It's important for Morrigan to know as well."

Anders was scowling, Zevran could almost see Anders' mind racing as he spoke, his words almost tripping over themselves in their rush to get out. "So Morrigan is Andraste's daughter? Maric slept with Andraste?"

Sareyna shook her head, she looked as weary as Zevran felt, "Don't think about it Anders. It'll make your head explode."

Anders sighed and nodded, "You people get me into some seriously weird shit."

Zevran smirked a little; the room needed a little levity. The night's events hung too heavy in the air. "You were pretty good at getting yourself into some weird shit yourself if half your stories are true."

Anders chuckled quietly as he stood up. "True enough. Now let me check you out." He smiled as he eyed their obviously naked forms under the sheet, before poorly attempting for a straight face. "I mean as a healer."

Zevran smiled, appreciative for Anders ability to inject humor into any situation. It seemed to be a common method, at the Keep, for dealing with all the shit they saw and dealt with everyday. And Anders was better at it than most, though whether that was a good thing or not, Zevran wasn't entirely sure. Regardless, he joined in Sareyna and Alistair's somewhat stilted laughter.

Anders just shook his head and muttered, "Seriously weird shit."

The sapphire blue of his healing magic glided over Sareyna then Zevran. Seemingly, satisfied they were alright he yawned and stretched. "Now I'm going to bed, if you need something get dressed and come get me." He gave them one of his rakish smiles, that didn't quite reach his eyes, and left.

* * *

Alistair stayed still for a minute looking from Zevran to Sareyna. Part of him was telling him he should be uncomfortable or embarrassed, but all he could manage was to feel completely content. He smiled and climbed up the bed and settled between the two of them.

He held his arms out, "Come here." Sareyna turned on her side and set her head on his chest and he wrapped an arm around her. Zevran hesitated and Alistair turned to him. "Zev?" He made a 'come here' gesture with his hand.

Zev gave a shake of his head and a smile before he moved close, setting his head on Alistair's chest as well. Alistair's strong arm wrapped around him and he gave a small contented sigh.

"I have to be honest Tesoro, I expected you to be somewhat upset this morning."

"I was a little to be honest. I'm not sure what this is or where it's going, but I'm glad you're here, Zev."


	16. Chapter 16

**No Good Deed Goes Unpunished**

There was a loud knocking on the door and neither of the men seemed to hear it. Sareyna carefully pulled Alistair's arm away from her and scooted out of the bed. She slipped into her dressing gown, tying it tight so as not to reveal that she wore no chemise underneath.

She opened the door a crack and looked out. A small elven girl looked nervous as she spoke rapidly. "Mistress, the seneschal says he needs you to come downstairs right away. There are some Templars seeking shelter at the gate."

Sareyna closed her eyes briefly and took a deep breath before speaking. "Tell the Seneschal to meet me in my office. I will be there in a few moments."

The elven girl curtsied, "Yes, ma'am." then went scurrying off.

Sareyna closed the door behind her and headed to the wardrobe. Quickly picking her clothes, deliberately more ornate than usual, she dressed and went to her vanity to brush the tangles from her hair. Instead of her usual pony tail, she swept it up and rolled it into a quick bun.

She stepped back to take a look in the looking glass and hoped the look conveyed what she wanted it too, nobility that happened to be very busy with real work. Taking another deep breath she headed towards the door, she paused to look at her two sleeping men and smiled.

She swept from the room and strode quickly down the hall to her office. Varel was already waiting there when she walked in. Varel seeing how she was dressed and her hair raised an eyebrow in surprise before returning to his normal passive expression.

"I need you to tell the Templars that with the destruction to the Keep we don't have anywhere for them to stay and they should try one of the Banns."

"Commander, one of their men is injured and may not make it to one of the Banns."

"I don't care Varel, they can't stay here." Sareyna snapped.

Varel's voice was calm and even as it always was, "I am not sure I understand. We have rooms that are habitable, why can they not stay here?"

"You don't need to understand Varel. I don't want them here and that should be enough."

"The former Arl…"

Sareyna cut him off, "Please tell me you weren't about to compare me to Rendon Howe."

Chagrined, Varel lowered his head, "No Commander, of course not."

"Good, get rid of them."

"Get rid of who?"

Sareyna looked up to see Anders' head peeking in the doorway. She cursed herself silently that she hadn't shut the door. "Templars."

Anders whole posture changed. "Why are there Templars at the Keep?"

"One of their men is injured and they were looking for a place to rest before moving on." Varel informed him.

Anders shifted uncomfortably. His gaze turned back to Sareyna. "Let them stay in one of the out buildings. There are plenty of houses that are intact and empty."

"Anders."

"What? I'm a healer first Sareyna. Depending on his injury he could die if we turn them away."

Sareyna gritted her teeth, "You know why we can't have them here."

"They won't be able to feel anything from one of the houses. Relax."

"Fine," she snapped, "Let them stay in one of the houses but none of them are to come into the Keep for any reason. Understood?"

"Of course Commander, I am sure they will be grateful."

Anders looked speculatively for a moment, "Find out what the injury is, we may be able to help."

"You are not to go near those men, Anders."

Anders rolled his eyes, "Will you stop? I am a Grey Warden, on Grey Warden property; they wouldn't touch me even if they wanted too."

Sareyna threw up her hands in frustration and stormed from the room, "Fuck both of you, go hang yourselves, I want no part of it."

* * *

An hour later Sareyna was following Anders to one of the out buildings. She had left her daggers in her room but had both her boot knives on and another strapped to her arm under the long sleeve of her tunic. Anders strode quickly across the courtyard.

They knocked lightly on the door and one of the Templars opened it. He was tall and blonde and gave them an affable smile. Sareyna nodded her head in acknowledgement as she followed Anders into the house. The Templar directed them to a small room just off the main area of the house.

Sareyna followed Anders feeling the hairs stand up on the back of her neck. She really didn't like this, Anders in a building with Templars; he could be so stubborn sometimes. As she entered the smaller room she saw another Templar sitting on a stool, his helmet on the floor beside him. His chestnut brown hair was cropped short and he had a jagged scar across his face.

He was watching over the injured Templar and didn't even look up when they entered the room. The last templar lay on the small bed in the room in just his tunic and leggings. Blood soaked the whole left side of his tunic. Anders didn't speak, just went to work.

He pulled the tunic off the Templar as carefully as he could and looked at the wound. He grimaced, "Fell from a horse?"

The Templar in the corner nodded.

"There's still a bit of branch in the wound, I'm going to need to pull it out, but if he moves too much he can do more damage to himself; so I'm going to put him into a spell induced sleep."

Again, the Templar in the corner nodded.

Anders wove a quick spell and then turned to Sareyna. "Hold him down while I pull this out."

Sareyna moved to his side and placed a hand on either side of the Templar's wound. Anders gripped the end of the branch with both hands and pulled it out slowly. Sareyna cringed at the wet sucking sound it made as it gradually came free.

Once the branch was removed Anders picked up the ewer of water on the small table near the door and poured it over the wound to clean it. Once it was clean sapphire light pulsed over the wound as the tissues knit back together. It was slow going at first; Anders seemed to be concentrating very hard.

Once the wound was closed, not even leaving a scar, Anders turned to the man's face. The cheekbone and nose were both broken, presumably from the horse stepping on him. Gingerly, Anders washed his face so he could heal it better. Anders stiffened for a moment and Sareyna moved to his side.

"What's wrong?" Sareyna asked in a whisper.

Anders lowered his voice, "Nothing, I just know this one."

"Is that going to be a problem?"

"I don't know, he doesn't care for me much."

Sareyna didn't move but stayed beside Anders as he started healing the man's face. Sareyna shuddered, "Gah, that sound, what is it?"

"The bones moving, they make a bit of a scraping sound, sorry."

Sareyna nodded and kept silent as he finished healing the man. They both stepped back when Anders unwound the sleep spell. The Templar blinked his eyes a few times before sitting up with a groan. His hand covered his face.

"I feel like I've been through the wringer, what happened?"

The Templar in the corner spoke for the first time and it sounded like gravel. "Your horse spooked and threw you. And of course you being you, you ended up impaled on a branch and then your horse stepped on you. We're at the Vigil, their healer healed you."

The man lowered his hand and looked up for the first time. The blast came so fast neither Anders nor Sareyna had a chance to react. White flowed out from the Templar and hit Anders square in the chest knocking him backwards where he hit the wall and landed on the floor unconscious.

"Maleficar." The Templar on the cot spat.

Sareyna felt rage burn inside of her. "He is not a maleficar."

The Templar stood and crossed the room to her. "He is and he is coming with me."

"He's a Grey Warden, you have no right. Now that you are obviously feeling better, you should all leave."

"I'm not leaving without the maleficar."

"Last time, this is a Grey Warden and you are on Grey Warden property, you have no jurisdiction. Take your things and leave Vigil's Keep, now."

The Templar took another step and started to draw his sword, "Listen lady…" his words were cut off as he clutched at his gut.

"That's Warden Commander." Sareyna pulled her knife free and looked at the other Templar. "Since neither you nor the other Templar has attacked a Grey Warden you are free to leave. I would suggest you do so quickly before I change my mind."

The Templar in the corner drew his sword as he stood. "If you think we're going to just leave after you killed a Templar you are sadly mistaken."

Sareyna pulled another knife from her other boot quickly and blocked a blow from the Templar's sword. She heard the boots of the Templar in the other room clomping across the floor boards towards them. "I was afraid you would say that." She stood, using the power of her legs to shove the sword upwards, with her other hand she stabbed her knife into the heart of the Templar before he could move away.

Hearing the boots right behind her, she dropped quickly, narrowly escaping being decapitated. She spun swiftly and ran her knife up the inside of the Templars thigh hoping to find the artery there, even with his skirt blocking her view.

Either way it was enough, he shrieked and took a step backwards, Sareyna jabbed her elbow hard into the side of his knee and the Templar fell. She was on his chest in a moment and cut his throat. She stood and retrieved her other knife, wiping them on her tunic before re-sheathing them.

She bent down in front of Anders and shook him. "Anders." His head lolled but he didn't respond. She shook him again harder and he still didn't rouse. "Sorry." She said softly before she slapped him.

"Ah," Anders jerked awake, "What the Fade?"

"You were unconscious. Come on, we need to go."

* * *

She helped Anders to his feet and he leaned heavily on her, his head swimming and feeling weak from being drained so abruptly. He groaned, "That never gets any easier. I hate feeling like this." He paused and looked blearily around the room. "Oh, Sareyna, what have you done?" His voice was a touch sad.

"I saved you, again."

"This is bad, very, very bad."

"Shut up." She snapped as she began maneuvering him over the body in the doorway and out of the room. As they cleared the house a soldier saw them and came running to help her mostly drag Anders back inside the Keep, his long legs trailing behind them as often as attempting to take steps.

"Commander?" Varel looked upset as he took in the blood on Sareyna's clothing.

"I told you I didn't want them here. You go deal with that mess." Sareyna was yelling, she was clearly pissed.

* * *

Alistair came jogging down the hall, "I heard yelling." He saw Anders hanging limply between Sareyna and the soldier and crossed the room quickly. Pushing Sareyna out of the way he scooped Anders up. "Thank you," he nodded to the soldier who gave a little bow and left. "What happened?"

"She killed them." Anders mumbled.

Alistair had started heading towards the stairs but paused and turned back to Sareyna. "You killed the Templars?"

She flashed a glare at Anders before speaking to Alistair. "They attacked us; they drained Anders and knocked him out before coming for me. I didn't have a choice Alistair."

Alistair headed back towards the stairs. "Let's get him upstairs."

They took Anders to his room and Alistair laid him down on the bed. "Are you going to be alright?"

"Hurts." Anders' voice was quiet and his eyes had drifted shut.

"Would lyrium help?" Sareyna began searching his room.

* * *

Anders nodded weakly and Sareyna gave up finding some in his room and jogged from the room headed towards the storeroom. Maric stopped her on the way.

"What's going on?"

"Go talk to Varel, I'm busy right now Maric."

Maric stepped out of her way as she rushed past. She headed down the steps to the small basement below the Keep she yanked open the door to the store room and headed towards the back. She ended up having to pick the lock on the chest because she had forgotten the key.

Unsure how many Anders would need she filled her arms, closed the chest and jogged back up the steps careful not to jostle the flasks too much. Back in Anders' room she set the potions down on the table and opened one. His hand shook so badly she ended up helping him drink it.

"Dammit Anders, why don't you ever listen to me?" she growled as he gestured for another potion.

He was able to drink the second one on his own and pushed himself up into a sitting position when he was done. He gave her a weak smile, "I'm a healer. It's what I do. Besides, you never listen to me either. What did I say about bringing weapons?"

"Hey, no one knew I had them, besides they saved your damned life."

"I can't argue that."

"No more healing Templars, ever. Got it?"

Anders chuckled weakly, "Sure thing Commander. I think I've been cured of that particular desire."

She sighed, placated, "Is there anything else we can do?"

He shook his head, "I just need to sleep. I'll be alright, I promise."

Sareyna looked to Alistair who was watching them with an amused grin. "I'll go first."

Alistair nodded, "I'll be back in a few hours."

Anders frowned, "First what?"

"To stay with you."

"Honestly, you two, I'm fine."

"And you're going to stay that way." Sareyna moved to the corner and dropped into the chair there effectively ending the conversation.


	17. Chapter 17

**Fathers and Sons**

Alistair came downstairs to see servants carrying the King's saddlebags out the door. Curious, he turned and moved down the hall to Maric's room, his guard seemed restless. Knocking lightly on the door he waited patiently for Maric to answer.

After several long seconds a very haggard looking Maric opened the door. "Oh, Alistair."

"Leaving already? Zev and Anders just got back."

Maric gave a heavy sigh, running his fingers through his disheveled hair. "I have to."

Alistair pressed his lips into a thin line; he never could hide his irritation. "I see."

"I don't want to fight Alistair. Your wife is determined to start a war with the Chantry. I have to try to find a way to stop it."

"Then do something about the Templars."

"What would you have me do, Alistair?"

Alistair walked past Maric, and sat down in one of the chairs near the fire.

* * *

Maric closed the door feeling twice his age. He knew that something needed to be done about the Chantry and the Templars but where to start and how? Ferelden was in no position to go to war again. He settled into the chair opposite Alistair. "So you have an idea?"

"Several in fact."

Maric watched Alistair for a moment and could sense his son's uneasiness. "Is this something that is going to cause problems for you?"

Alistair gave a wry smile, "Probably."

"Maybe we shouldn't…"

Alistair cut him off, "No, something has to be done." Alistair shook his head slowly and took a deep breath. "Your family's whole existence is intertwined with the Chantry. You should know what that all means." Alistair paused for a moment and Maric wasn't sure he was going to continue he was silent for so long.

Alistair was looking at the floor when he started to speak again. "If Anders ever leaves the Wardens he'll be branded a maleficar and the Templars will chase him down and kill him."

"But he's not," Maric's voice trailed off at the look Alistair gave him.

"It doesn't matter. Honestly, I'm not entirely convinced they won't come after him anyways. They've already tried it once, twice if you count today."

"Wait, the Templars came after Anders while he was a Warden?" Maric felt nauseous.

Alistair nodded, "Yes, they set a trap for him in Amaranthine. We had to kill them to save Anders."

"They can't do that. The Wardens aren't bound by Chantry law."

Alistair smirked, "Obviously, the Chantry feels otherwise." Alistair looked into the fire and Maric could see he was struggling with something.

"Alistair, are you alright?"

"No, I'm really not. I worry for them. Sometimes it's crippling, I worry about the Templars coming for Anders, Morrigan and Trelain. I'm worried about what Sareyna would do if that ever happened? She knows they will kill Morrigan and Anders. Trelain will be considered too dangerous and will be made Tranquil, if they don't just kill him as well." Alistair sat back in his chair. "And being that they can't charge Sareyna and I with anything they'll probably just kill us too."

"Surely, you're being a bit overly dramatic, Alistair."

Alistair snorted, "I wish I was Maric, but if the Templars ever come for us, it will be for all of us."

Maric felt the blood leaving his face. The idea of his whole family being wiped out by the Templars made him feel like the world was disappearing beneath his feet. He had just found them all, had just started getting to know them. Surely, the Grand Cleric would not allow anything like that to happen.

Slowly, he realized that it was a very real possibility. He had seen how angry that Templar was with Anders. And there was no question as to what would happen if the Circle ever got its hands on a Witch of the Wilds. Alistair was right; they needed to do something and they needed to do it now. "Where do we start?"

"Ban the Templars from using lyrium."

"What?" Maric's eyebrows shot up.

"The Chantry gives the Templars lyrium. They say that it's so their templar abilities are more effective, but I'm living proof it's a lie. I've never met a Templar who was any more effective than I am and I've never taken lyrium. If I can take down Morrigan with a smite, there's nothing more that any Templar needs.

The real reason they give it to the Templars is because it's addictive. The Chantry is the only place you can legally obtain lyrium so you can never leave the Templars. It messes with their heads though. Eventually, they become forgetful and lost; they can even hallucinate and become permanently addled."

Maric was overwhelmed; his whole world was being upended. He took a fortifying breath, "I don't know what to say."

"Don't say anything, do something about it." Alistair's voice rose sharply. "Talk to Anders again about life in the Circle. Talk to Morrigan about growing up an apostate."

Maric was quiet watching Alistair and trying to figure out how to untangle this mess. "Would you have me banish the Templars and the Circle completely? Is there nothing good about them?"

"No, don't get rid of them completely, but there needs to be some serious reform. The Templars offer a great education and are some of the best in the country in weapons training. But instead of being taught to hate and fear mages they need to be taught how to protect them." He rose and left the room, leaving Maric with a lot to think about.

* * *

Alistair found Anders curled up in his room with Pounce and a book, still recovering but awake. Sareyna was still sitting in the corner with a book of her own. "Anders."

Anders looked up, "Did you need me for something?"

Alistair sighed, "If Maric comes to talk to you, I need you to tell him everything. Don't whitewash it this time. He needs to know."

Anders frowned, "Know what?"

"What it was really like at the Circle."

Anders turned to Sareyna looking agitated "Did you…"

Alistair cut him off quickly, "No, I trained as a Templar. I worked with Templars all the time and they talk."

Anders scowled, "You mean brag."

Anders sighed heavily, "Yes, I do."

"Fine, I'll make sure he knows all their dirty little secrets. It's not like they could want me any deader."

"I know this is unpleasant, but it's necessary. Where is Morrigan?"

Anders was unable to hide his irritation. "Going to drag her into this little mess as well?"

Alistair gave him a sad smile, "I have to."

"For your son." Anders shifted looking uncomfortable but resigned.

Sareyna spoke up, "She was with Nathaniel in the training yard last I knew."

Alistair nodded and left, taking long strides back down the stairs and out into the training yard. Maric was standing there speaking with her. Morrigan stood stock still her hands on her hips, Alistair hurried over to them. He waited for Maric to stop speaking, to stop explaining that he was trying to understand better so he could get an idea of what to do. Morrigan was already on the defensive as evidenced by her posture.

"Morrigan, he means it. I know that you don't like talking about your life, but" he stopped and took a deep breath, "but it could save Trelain from living that way."

"Trelain?" The word was tremulous with disbelief.

Alistair nodded.

"Dammit Alistair, you should have told me." Morrigan sighed heavily, "Very well. What do you wish to know?"

Alistair smiled and mouthed "Thank you." before leaving to afford them some privacy.

* * *

Alistair was surprised when hours later Maric came into his office and sat down in a chair looking ashen. "Are you alright, Maric?"

"Maker, no. I'm not sure I'll ever be okay again. Speaking with Morrigan was hard. Running her whole life, being afraid of being killed by Templars at anytime, having to live alone and secluded, I can't imagine." He took a deep breath and visibly shuddered.

"But Anders…Sweet Andraste, the things they do to the mages." His fingers tightened around the armrest turning his knuckles white. "The things they did to him." Maric's voice faltered a little at the end. "I would march against them right now if we had the man power, no one," he paused, taking a shaky breath "no one, should ever go through those things." Maric shook his head in disbelief, "How did he even survive? How do any of them?"

"A lot of them don't."

"I know, Anders told me. Do you think the Grand Cleric knows? I mean rape, beatings, torture, how do they get away with it? How do they live with themselves?"

Alistair kept his voice quiet. Maric had been through a lot and didn't need more anger, besides Alistair wasn't even angry at Maric. "The Templars pretty much police themselves and they don't see the mages as people."

Maric stood up, his stance was rigid and there was a fire in his eyes. "I think I might make an unannounced visit to the Circle."

Alistair wondered briefly if this was what Maric looked like during the war. "Can you even do that?"

"It'll just be my guard and I. I'll make sure to not attract too much attention on the way, and we can let everyone think I'm still here." Maric had started pacing a little, seemingly lost in thought as he spoke.

"I'm not sure whether to wish you good luck or not."

Maric stopped and turned to Alistair. "Let's see how far I get first. I'll head out in the morning." He headed for the door then paused, "Alistair?"

"Yes?"

"You'll take care of them while I'm gone won't you?"

Alistair smiled, "Of course I will, they're my family too."

Maric nodded quickly and left. Alistair shook his head a little, until today Maric had not seemed very king like to him. But watching him digest everything he had been told throughout the day had been a revelation.

As Maric had wrapped his mind around the Templar's abuses and the Circle's failings it had seemed as if steel had infused his body. At his height he made quite the imposing figure when he was determined. Today Alistair had met the man that he had heard bards singing about his entire life.


	18. Chapter 18

**Some Scars Never Heal**

Anders had been quiet since Maric had left. He lay on his back staring at the ceiling, absently petting Pounce who was curled up against his side. Sareyna got out of the chair and climbed into the large bed with Anders, she laid down beside him on her side, watching him.

"Do you want to talk?"

A flash of annoyance crossed Anders' face before he smirked, "You'll crawl into bed with anyone."

Sareyna gave a small shrug. "Just those I know I'm safe with."

Anders gave a low chuckle, "Is that what I am? Safe?"

"Safe enough."

Anders shifted abruptly, pushing her over and pinning her to the bed. "Don't be so quick to assume. When you first got to the Keep I couldn't wait to nail you to nearest bed." He chuckled again low and dangerous. "I offered to help you because it seemed the best way to get you to let me fuck you."

Sareyna recoiled, "Anders, stop."

His fingers flexed on her arm where he was holding her and he lowered his head to her shoulder. "I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me."

"You've gone through hell and back in the past few days. Then Maric…and you're obviously angry with me."

Anders pulled away from her, releasing her, lying down beside her again. "And you say that so calmly."

"I'd be angry too in your position."

"And what position is that?"

Sareyna closed her eyes, "Anders, don't you ever get tired? Tired of all the fake smiles, endless jokes and pretending everything is alright? I thought we were going to be honest with each other. Don't you ever want to scream and yell?"

"And what would that accomplish, besides creating a lot of noise."

Sareyna turned and kissed him on the forehead before sliding from the bed. "When you want to talk, or yell about Zevran come find me."

Anders grabbed her wrist, and closed his eyes, she was right, he didn't need to pretend with her, didn't need to entertain her, or plaster on a smile and pretend everything would be okay. It was what he loved about her, that he could be as emotional or moody or whatever as he wanted and she didn't care for him any less.

It was part of why her betrayal hurt so much; part of him had felt like his only sanctuary had been taken from him. He had worried he would have to pretend to be happy, but she didn't expect it, she just wanted him to be himself, even if it meant he was angry, and so he was. "How could you?"

Sareyna sat back down.

Anders shook his head, feeling it start to pound. "I know what I said, but you knew,_ knew_ how I felt about him. How I feel about him." Anders sat up and watched her.

"I didn't plan it, but you're right. I knew." She sighed, "I love him Anders. And I am a selfish woman. When Alistair mentioned it, I couldn't say no."

"And Alistair, does he love Zevran?"

Sareyna nodded, "I think he does."

Anders blinked back a tear and fought against a wave of nausea. "I've never been this close to loving someone before. These emotions are all new things for me. And how sad is that at my age?"

"Just be glad you had a chance to feel them at all, I was afraid I never would. Maybe you should talk to Zevran, tell him how you feel."

He gave her a weak smile, "I'm a bit older than you and as far as telling Zevran, he knows. He balks whenever things get too emotional between us. My feelings are obviously not reciprocated." He warred for a moment with himself, hating himself a little for understanding, and not quite able to meet her gaze. "Sometimes I feel furious at you, it seems like you get everything. But then I remember how much all of us have been through and all the terrible decisions you've had to make and I think you deserve any happiness you can get."

Sareyna leaned forward and wrapped her arms around Anders. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry I'm so selfish." She sniffled against his shoulder.

Anders ran his hand over her hair, "Stop, no crying allowed in my room." Enough was enough; he wasn't going to lose his first real friend, over a man who didn't even love him.

Sareyna sat up, wiping her eyes and gave him a small smile. "So, what do we do now?"

Anders shrugged, "I lick my wounds and we both pretend I'm alright."

Sareyna squeezed his hand.

"So how do you stop caring for someone so much?"

Sareyna smirked, "I've heard that sex with a dwarf helps."

Anders covered his eyes, "You know about that already?"

Sareyna nodded, "I heard whispers this morning on my way to the office. Apparently, she's told half the Keep that she'd like to 'bronze your tongue' and that there should be awards for the things you did to her."

"Oh, fantastic." Anders groaned.

"Don't look so upset, the few single women in the Keep whose bed you haven't already been in are dying for a chance to bed you, as are more than a few married women, probably." She smirked and waggled her eyebrows suggestively at him.

"Wipe that smirk off your face. This is your lover's fault!"

"Alistair?"

"No Zev, he kept me distracted in the Deep Roads by talking about Sigrun in very explicit terms. So when we got back, I just couldn't help myself."

"It wasn't as good for you as it was for her?"

"I never said that." Anders shook his head, "I didn't even do that much."

Sareyna laughed, "Sounds like it's a shame I'm your sister-in-law."

"Ugh, don't go there; I've made enough of an ass of myself for one day."

"So it's true then, what you said…before?"

Anders sighed, "Used to be," then he smirked, "must have been the tattoos. I love tattoos on women, but I don't feel like that anymore, no offense. I think of you more like a sister."

Sareyna gave him a sweet smile. "Probably better that way."

"Yes, I'm a lot less likely to end up dead."

"He'd probably just beat you up a time or two."

Anders scrunched up his face in a mock look of annoyance, "Pfft, I'm not scared of Alistair. I was talking about you."

They both laughed.

Sareyna stretched, "We've been cooped up in here all day, feel up to taking a walk?"

Anders nodded and climbed out of the bed to pull on his boots. "Let's go outside, I could use some air."

"Sounds good, besides, apparently I shouldn't laze about in bed with strange men all day."

Anders snorted.

* * *

As they were walking around the grounds Anders turned to Sareyna, "Do you think Maric will really do something about the Circle?"

"I know he's going to try. I thought he was going to be sick when he talked to you, he was so pale. You didn't look too good either."

"I don't really like thinking about being in the Circle, let alone talk about it." He took a deep breath, "I was just always thankful that the Templars never took an interest in me like they did other mages. I worked in the infirmary a lot; I can't tell you how many mages I had to heal after those brutes got their hands on them, men and women."

"Can I ask a question?"

Anders furrowed his brow. "Sure, you know more about me than anyone. What's a little more?"

"I won't ask if you don't want me to Anders."

"No, I'm just being difficult. Telling someone about my life feels strange. But you've always been open with me. Besides, I'm a sucker for a pretty face."

"I thought it was women with tattoos." She said with a laugh.

"That's what makes them so pretty." He replied without missing a beat.

Sareyna smirked before sobering a bit. "Why do you think they never were interested in you? I mean you're an attractive man."

Anders snorted, "That's easy. They liked people who didn't fight back. I had a reputation for being difficult pretty much from the time I was brought to the Circle. On the way there I got my first taste of getting smited. One of the Templars kept shoving me from behind even though I was walking without giving them a problem.

I got sick of it and turned and kicked him in the shin and when he went to grab his leg I punched him in the eye. One of the other Templars smited me, even though I hadn't used magic. I was so angry I spent the rest of the trip giving them as much trouble as I could. They didn't smite me much because whenever they did they had to carry me and I was tall for my age.

So, basically I was too much of a trouble maker for the Templars. They're nothing but bullies and cowards." He shook his head, clearly disgusted. "What about you? How did you escape it in Fort Drakon? They're notorious for their…bad conduct."

"I don't remember much of Drakon. They took our armor, weapons and clothes; we were just in our smalls. I remember they were leading us to our cell when one of the men grabbed my breast, without really thinking I snapped his wrist. They knocked me out and I woke up later in our cell.

I guess they hit me pretty hard because Alistair was afraid I was never going to wake up. I was still in my smalls and he said none of the other guards had touched me, so I guess I was just lucky. Once I woke up we broke out."

Anders sat down on the ground and Sareyna followed suit. He inhaled deeply through his nose. "How sad are we, picking at each other's scars."

"It's nice to have someone to talk with that doesn't look absolutely mortified when they hear what I've been through. I can't talk to the others; I mean Alistair is still horrified by what I did to Rendon Howe. I love him; I really do, but he only acknowledges the good in me."

"Whereas I play in the dark _with_ you."

Sareyna nodded, "I think I would lose my mind without you, Anders."

He smiled, "I'm not going anywhere."


	19. Chapter 19

**Revelations, Part I**

Morrigan searched through her wardrobe for something to wear. She had never had the luxury of money to spend on clothes before, or a seamstress, so at the Keep she was making the most of it. She pulled out an ankle length black skirt and a black tunic that laced in the front to go with it.

Sitting at her vanity she applied her make-up and combed out her hair. She hesitated before tying it up and decided to leave it down. Rifling through her jewelry she picked a long silver chain and a couple of rings to match. She stood and smoothed her hands over her outfit as she peered into the looking glass.

There was no denying it, she felt good. Anders and Zevran were safe; she had a proficient lover and was surrounded, strangely enough, by people who cared for her. She let out a slow breath, "So this is what happy feels like."

She slipped into a pair of open shoes that Leliana had called sandals and decided to get some tea. Shannon always kept several flavors on hand to keep Zevran happy. She wanted to do nothing today but relax, they all deserved a break.

As she crossed the main hall she noticed a flurry of activity. She ignored it and continued to the kitchens. "Shannon."

The woman stood up with a loaf of freshly baked bread and smiled.

"I thought you baked in the morning?"

"Usually, wasn't feeling quite myself this morning." Shannon replied with a wink.

"Ah, did we partake of the celebrations last night?"

"Aye, and it was lovely. It was nice to see smiles again. Things have been so somber around here. What can I get for you dear?"

"I would love some tea, the fruit one I had last time."

Shannon gestured to the pantry, "It on the top shelf towards the back, little black and gold box. I'll put on the water." She turned and grabbed the kettle and headed out the door to the well. She was back a moment later, "So you stayed in a bit today. Did you and Nathaniel have a nice morning?" She gave Morrigan a light smile and hung the water above the fire.

Morrigan tutted, "You are a terrible gossip."

Shannon gave a mock look of indignation, "I am just concerned about any Wardens that miss meals."

"I suppose I should thank you for the tray, 'twas most thoughtful. Nathaniel and I did enjoy it."

Shannon gave a little nod. She busied herself locating a mug, setting it aside to wait for the water.

"So what's all the commotion in the hall?" Morrigan asked casually.

Shannon wrinkled her nose, "I'm not sure, but I heard that the Lieutenant ended up carrying Master Anders up to his room. The seneschal assured me Master Anders was fine, he just needed to rest." Shannon looked around the kitchen, empty as it usually was when they weren't preparing a meal. She often told everyone she got more done by herself then with a bunch of people underfoot.

She lowered her voice before she spoke again, "I heard tell that the Commander came in covered with blood and spitting fire she was so mad."

Morrigan raised a curious brow, what could possibly have happened that Sareyna was covered in blood. "Tis quite curious."

Shannon gave a knowing nod and put some of the tea in the bottom of the mug for Morrigan's tea. She moved to the fire to retrieve the water, "One of the elf girls told me there were Templars here this morning. I suspect they did not leave." She poured the water carefully before setting down the pot and adding a spoon of thick honey to the tea.

"Why are you putting honey in it?"

"Master Zevran prefers his tea that way, habit I guess." She handed it to Morrigan who cautiously took a sip.

She gave Shannon a radiant smile, "Thank you for the tea, Shannon. I think I'll go see what trouble I can get into today." She headed straight to the training yard; she knew Nathaniel would be there, and that he never missed a thing that happened at the Keep.

Nathaniel heard her coming and turned to give her a look over and a smile. "Good morning, sleepyhead."

Morrigan snorted, "I see no reason to wake before the sun." She glanced around and saw a flurry of activity near one of the abandoned houses of the Keep. "Is that something I should be concerned with?"

"Depends, Sareyna killed three Templars this morning."

Morrigan scowled, her hands still curled around her mug of tea. "Why were there Templars at the Keep?"

"One was injured and they were looking for someplace to rest." Nathaniel rolled his eyes as he slipped his bow over his shoulder. "Apparently, Anders insisted that they stay here so he could heal the injured man."

"The fool."

"Yes, quite. Seems the man he healed was not grateful and attacked Anders."

Morrigan nodded, "Was he injured? Should I go take a look?"

Nathaniel leaned against the fence, watching the people bustling around the abandoned house. He shook his head, "No, he was smited, but otherwise uninjured."

"That man has to be the luckiest bastard alive."

Nathaniel chuckled, "I'll agree to that."

"All the same, perhaps it's time I spent time teaching my magically gifted brother instead of vice versa." Morrigan felt a slight twitch at saying brother, the idea was alien to her, but she was trying. She watched the men at the abandoned house set it ablaze. "Well, that's as good a solution as any."

"Do you think they're planning on lying to the Chantry?"

She turned her yellow eyes to look at Nathaniel, "Wouldn't you?"

"They were just doing their job."

"What exactly do you think happened in there Nathaniel?" Her voice was low with a tone of warning.

"It's no secret that Sareyna doesn't like the Templars."

"So you think she, what? Provoked them into attacking Anders somehow just so she could kill them?"

Nathaniel shook his head a little, "Of course not, but I think her prejudice could have colored her reaction to them, maybe caused her to react more violently than might have been strictly necessary. The Templars aren't all bad Morrigan."

Morrigan narrowed her eyes as her anger flared bright inside of her. "I am sure not having any magic makes you an expert on Templars."

"Some mages are dangerous."

"I don't believe you, Nathaniel. You know they would kill me and Anders in a heart beat, right? They wouldn't even pause to find out if we were really maleficar or not."

"Morrigan." His voice was placating.

"No," she cut him off, "I better leave before I become one of those dangerous mages and hurt someone." She turned and almost walked right into Maric.

"Ah, Morrigan, good I was looking for you."

Morrigan sighed heavily, just what she needed, more pompous. "What can I do for you?" She settled one of her hands on her hip and tried not to glower too much.

"I wanted to talk to you, about…well your life in the Wilds, hiding from the Templars and such."

Morrigan's knuckles tightened around her mug as she tried to hold her ire in check. "My life is my own business." Her gaze flicked to the image of Alistair striding towards them quickly, something told her, her day was about to become very unpleasant. She sighed and listened to Maric as best she could as Alistair approached.

* * *

Morrigan's heart was beating a little fast, she felt a thin thread of nervousness flow through her as she made her way to Eveleen's room. Speaking with Maric had been more upsetting that she had thought it would be, but the whole time all she could think of was that she had to see Trelain.

How had she not realized he was outwardly manifesting magic? It seemed magic was happening all around her and she had missed most of it, first Pounce, now Trelain. She was slipping; she'd have to be more careful, more aware if she was to protect herself from Flemeth.

She knocked on the door and waited for Eveleen to open it. Eveleen opened the door with a smile that faltered a little when she saw Morrigan.

"Oh, Morrigan, I didn't expect to see you."

Morrigan gave a curt nod, "May I come in? I want to see Trelain."

Eveleen stepped back away from the door, "I don't see why not."

Trelain was sitting on the floor when Morrigan walked in. As Morrigan walked closer to him he stood and took a slightly unsteady step towards her.

Eveleen giggled, "He recognizes you."

Morrigan settled on the floor not responding, the boy looked more like his father every day but for those wide violet eyes. She held out her hand and let a small flicker of magic form in her palm. Trelain moved closer to her and set his hand down on hers, hand bathed in the faint white light. His eyes stayed fixed on Morrigan.

She cocked her head, "Do you know what I'm doing?"

The boy didn't say anything, no gurgle or coo, no sound at all, but she was sure he had nodded his head the slightest bit. Morrigan felt the huge pulse that was the boy's magic, it was like a great flood of water, mind blowing in its scope and she could feel the dam the boy had up, holding it back.

"I'm going to need your help, I think. Would you be willing to help me?"

The boy blinked once, but other than that did not move. Morrigan sighed a little and dropped her hand. Trelain sat down looking up at her. His wide eyes held hers in an intense gaze.

"I'm going to need Anders, aren't I?" She cocked her head to the side. "I don't know who I'm more curious about, you or Pounce." She chuckled, "I will be seeing you soon, Trelain."

She stood and headed up to her room, she wanted to read over some notes she had made while Anders was gone and take a look at one of the books she had brought with her from Soldier's Peak. She spent the afternoon and most of the evening curled up on the window seat in her room reading and marking pages.

Finally satisfied she had everything she needed she climbed down and went back to Eveleen's room and knocked on the door.

This time Eveleen's smile was even more hesitant. "Wow, twice in one day."

Morrigan tried not to be annoyed, it was true she rarely spoke to Eveleen and had never gone out of her way to see Trelain. "I'm just looking for Pentheryn." At the mention of his name the dog stood up stretching in front of the fire before heading to the door. "Take me to Sareyna." Pentheryn gave a happy bark and walked out of the room. Morrigan had learned during the Blight that Pentheryn didn't have to be anywhere near Sareyna to find her.

* * *

Morrigan followed Pentheryn all the way to the back garden where she found Anders and Sareyna lying on the ground looking at the stars, talking in hushed tones and laughing occasionally. Pounce was curled up on Anders' chest, seemingly asleep. Morrigan couldn't help but laugh herself when Pentheryn settled down next to Sareyna heavily and licked her face enthusiastically.

Sareyna sat up, laughing and wiping her face. She buried her face in Pentheryn's fur and scratched him behind his ears. "See Anders, this is a real pet."

He smiled up at her, "I'm not terribly fond of being drooled on, I'll pass. Pounce and I are quite happy, thank you."

"You two look pretty good for surviving a Templar attack."

Sareyna turned to Morrigan and gave her a small smile.

Anders grabbed Pounce and sat up, "Drat, they found us." He grinned at Sareyna, "I told you the garden wasn't far enough away for an illicit affair."

Sareyna shook her head and laughed. She patted the ground next to her and Morrigan moved to sit beside her, ignoring Anders' absurd antics. Once she was comfortable she reached out and petted Ser Pounce-A-Lot's head and was pleased when he rubbed against her hand purring.

Anders gave a mock pout, "Pounce, you traitor."

Morrigan withdrew her hand and watched him with the cat for a moment. It amazed her that such a small ball of fur looked so natural curled up with a man as tall as Anders. It should have made him seem effeminate, or soft, but really he just looked like a very content man.

Anders had apparently noticed her staring, "Did I grow a second head again? I hate it when that happens. Do you know how painful it is to cut that thing off?"

Morrigan sighed, but without her usual annoyance, it was just Anders, and you got used to it eventually. Otherwise, you might need to kill yourself, or him, or maybe both. "I wanted to ask you about Pounce."

Anders face was suddenly very serious. "Ask me what?"

"What is he?"

A muscle in Anders' jaw jumped, "He's a cat, obviously."

"I don't think that's what she means, Anders."

"So we're ganging up on the dashing apostate?" He tried a smile.

"I'm just curious; he has some sort of magic, does he not?" Morrigan tried to keep her tone conversational; Anders seemed skittish enough about the subject.

Anders eyes narrowed a little, "Why would you think that?"

Sareyna was watching them both, before she spoke softly. "I've never seen you fall when he's with you. No matter what you get hit with in a battle, you just shrug it off and keep going when Pounce is with you."

"And I felt him push me back with magic when I got too close to him in animal form while you were gone."

"He's not a demon." Anders was defensive, clutching Pounce a little closer to him.

Sareyna rolled her eyes, barely visible in the pale moonlight, "Obviously, but do you know what he is?"

"The best gift I've ever been given, a blessing, an enigma?" Anders shrugged, though he was still tense. "I don't know, not for sure, but there is a lot of folk lore about cats being able to heal and a lot of mythological gods and goddesses associated with healing are also associated with cats." He stroked Pounce's back as he spoke, curling around the cat almost protectively.

Sareyna scratched behind Pounce's ear. "So you've given this a lot of thought?"

"It's not like I didn't notice he was different, but I have no way to actually explain it. I just know that he's an amazing cat." Anders chuckled quietly as Pounce reared up putting his front paws on Anders' chest and rubbed his head against Anders' chin purring loudly. "And you can't buy affection like that."

"There are a couple of spells I know that we might use to try to figure it out." Morrigan offered.

Anders shook his head, "Absolutely not. Just let him be. We know he has no wish to harm any of us."

Morrigan wanted to argue, but she knew it was just her curiosity so she stopped herself. "Alright Anders, as long as you say he's safe, I believe you." Morrigan tilted her head and smiled at Pounce, "And, he is incredibly sweet, for a cat."

"Not fond of cats, Morri?"

Morrigan looked to Sareyna and shrugged, "I'm not usually fond of domesticated animals in general." Pentheryn whined, Morrigan wrinkled her nose in annoyance before sighing and reached out to pet him, "Present company excluded, of course."

"Smart girl." Anders chuckled.

Morrigan sighed, "I also wanted to talk with you both about Trelain."

Sareyna gave her a curious look.

"We keep saying we're going to go into the Fade to speak with him, but things keep happening. We need to do this, now more than ever. If he has information about the Architect, Renault, whatever his name is, we need to find out what it is before I go speak with him. And I can't do it alone."

Anders scowled, "Who is this Architect people keep mentioning?"

Sareyna yawned and stretched, "Actually, Morrigan are you needed anywhere, anytime soon?"

"No, I'm free."

"Good, I think the five of us need to get together and catch up on everything. Anders and Zevran need to know about the Architect. And Zevran and I have had two more dreams we haven't told anyone about yet, and you really need to hear it, Morri." Sareyna stood up and offered a hand to Morrigan.

Morrigan took it gratefully and pulled herself to her feet. Anders stood up beside them, still looking a little pale from his earlier ordeal with the Templars. Pounce curled up in his arms, unperturbed by Anders' sudden movement.

"I'll find Alistair, you two find Zevran. Let's meet in my sitting room. I want to be comfortable and be able to lock the door. I don't want anyone else to know about these last dreams, at least not yet." Sareyna smiled at Morrigan then squeezed Anders' shoulder affectionately before striding quickly towards the Keep.

Anders watched her for a few moments before he turned to Morrigan, "Shall we stop by the kitchens? From the sounds of it, tonight's fun filled extravaganza could greatly benefit from some serious wine consumption."

Normally, Morrigan was not fond of drinking, but Sareyna's insistence on privacy and Morrigan being there made her feel that perhaps a few bottles of wine might not be a bad idea. "I suppose it would not hurt to see if last night's revelry left anything in the wine cellar."

Anders smiled, "And here I thought you were a dreadful bore."

Morrigan frowned a little, "Don't push me Anders, I find you tiresome at the best of times."

Anders chuckled, "Fair enough."

The two of them started walking towards the Keep when Morrigan remembered her conversation with Nathaniel from that morning. "How would you like to learn some new magic?"

"It's not blood magic is it?"

Morrigan rolled her eyes, "No, I am well aware of your…concerns with blood magic. It is simply an almost completely forgotten ancient elven magic. As far as I know, only three people in Thedas know this magic, and one of them can't even use it."

"Three people? Alright, where did you learn it? Some Fade spirit or something?" Anders curiosity was clearly peaked.

"Actually, Sareyna taught it to me."

Anders furrowed his brows, "What?"

"During the Blight we were in an ancient elven ruin. There was a small blood filled crystal, like a phylactery. We had been destroying any revenants tied to phylacteries so Sareyna picked it up to check it out. But it wasn't a revenant, it was the spirit of an elf, who had been trapped in the crystal for so long, he didn't seem to remember much about his life at all."

Morrigan retold the tale as best as she could remember Sareyna telling it to her. "But he did remember this magic the elves used for fighting. It makes you stronger, faster and able to wield weapons more easily." She gave a small chuckle, "I don't use it much because it makes me feel ten feet tall and invincible." She held open the door to the Keep so they could enter and the pair headed to the kitchens.

"Is it useful though?" Anders' voice was eager.

"Very, especially for close quarters, no one expects a mage to effectively wield a real weapon." She dropped her voice a little, "Not even Alistair can overpower me when I use it."

"No, shit? This I definitely have to learn, is it difficult?"

"It was a little at first, because it was so different from any other spells I knew. There is no other spell to compare it to, to get an idea on how to use it. But once you learn the basics everything else is fairly simple." Morrigan was excited now; she remembered how exhilarated she had felt the first time she had knocked Alistair on his ass.

Anders' eyes glittered, reflecting Morrigan's own feelings of excitement. "Don't tell anyone you're teaching me. It'll be nice to get the drop on one of them for once." He pushed open the door down to the wine cellar and held it open for Morrigan, a quiet laugh bubbling to his lips.

Morrigan's smile was wicked; she knew exactly what he was talking about. "Only if you promise to invite me the first time you spar one of them using it, preferably Alistair."

Anders nodded, "Definitely, now let's grab some wine and find Zev."

* * *

Finding Zevran turned out to be far more difficult than either of them had anticipated; eventually they ran into him leaving Eveleen's room.

"There you are!" Anders couldn't hide his exasperation.

"Si, Bello. Were you looking for me?"

"Sareyna wants to speak with us in her sitting room. We should hurry; we've been looking for you for almost half an hour."

Zevran nodded and walked to join them as they headed for the stairs.

"How is he?" Morrigan asked gently.

Zevran looked at her appraisingly, before breaking out into a smile that lit his whole face up, "He's perfect."

Morrigan nodded and jogged up the stairs ahead of the men. Anders wasn't ready to speak with Zevran yet; he still hurt too much, so he kept his eyes focused straight ahead as they scaled the steps. Zevran for his part seemed to be content to walk in silence. Morrigan was holding open the door to Sareyna and Alistair's rooms when they reached her. Alistair and Sareyna were already inside, both looking weary.

Anders sighed and walked into the room, he curled up on the chair closest to the fire, Pounce still curled in one arm and a couple of bottles of wine cradled in his other arm. He figured he was going to need a distraction; tonight was shaping up to be a long and tedious evening. Morrigan set down the bottles she was carrying and relieved Anders of his as well before she settled back onto a chair.

Zevran sat down and pulled off his boots before he unbraided the plaits holding his hair back away from his face, obviously he was expecting a long evening as well. Alistair sat on the couch beside Sareyna and followed suit before stretching out his legs and setting them on a small stool in front of the couch.

He looked around at the group and took a deep breath letting it out slowly, "So, who wants to start?"


	20. Chapter 20

**On The Same Page**

The group of them sat quietly looking at each other, each obviously waiting for someone else to speak first. Anders smiled, "Well, this is going well. Maybe we should open the wine first?"

"You didn't even bring glasses." Sareyna spoke softly.

"Ah, that's why there are five bottles, my dear lady."

Sareyna chuckled and looked at Morrigan, "And you went along with that idea?"

Morrigan shrugged, "We didn't have enough free hands."

Anders winked at her, "Good cover, Morri."

Alistair leaned forward grabbing a bottle and picked up the corkscrew next to him, opening the bottle quickly and handing it to Zevran before grabbing another bottle. "When we went to face the mother," he handed the bottle to Sareyna. "We met the Darkspawn from the silverite mine again." He continued picking up the bottles, opening them and handing them out. "He calls himself the Architect. He's Renault, but doesn't remember it."

"Wait, how do you know that?" Anders sat up a little.

"Sareyna's dream of talking to Trelain, Maric's story about Bregan, and Zev and 'Reyna's dreams." Alistair shrugged, "Just putting the pieces together. It doesn't matter in the long run; he has lost most of his memory. But it's what he's doing now that's important."

"Not important? How can you say that?"

Sareyna scowled. "Anders, try to focus."

"I am focused; I think the revelation that the Maker is a Darkspawn is pretty important."

Morrigan shifted in her chair and crossed her legs, "There are things that are more pressing right now."

Anders sat back in his chair scowling a little. He had really hoped that Renault had at least found a cure for the taint. But that thing, strange even by Darkspawn standards, was supposed to be him?

It was almost funny, the Chantry taught that the Maker had left humanity because they were not worthy of him, but apparently they left out the part about him joining the Darkspawn. Anders clapped a hand over his mouth to cover his laughter. Sareyna turned to him and raised a brow in query. Anders just shook his head.

"The dwarf that Maric told us about is still with him, but she didn't look too good. I think she's avoiding her Calling to help Renault." Alistair pushed his hand back through his hair and sat back on the couch. "He's trying to end the Blights, and he thinks he has a way to do it."

"Andraste's tits, it's been over a thousand years, he just figured it out?" Anders scowled.

"Actually, we're not sure it will end the Blights for sure. He wants to free the Darkspawn from the call of the Old Gods."

Zevran immediately looked suspicious, "What will that do?"

"As I understand it, it will give the Darkspawn free will, the ability to think and act for themselves instead of blindly searching for the Old Gods and starting Blights."

"Is that what has been done to the Darkspawn that speak?" Zevran's eyes were boring into Alistair.

Alistair nodded.

Zevran shifted suddenly, "So whatever it is that this thing is doing to the Darkspawn is making them intelligent and giving them free will? Is that really what we want to be doing? What if they still want to start Blights, but are now intelligent? Thedas has always struggled to repel the advances of Darkspawn, this could be the edge they need to wipe out the people of Thedas completely."

Alistair nodded, "It is a possibility."

Anders' anger sparked bright. "Those Darkspawn attacked the Keep; they kidnapped and killed all the Wardens and bled Sareyna and Zevran. Do you even remember how pale and cold Zevran was when we found him? It was a blighted miracle that he lived. And what about what he has been doing to Zevran and Sareyna since? How many times have we been worried about losing them? Why didn't you kill that son of a bitch?"

Alistair watched him for a moment possibly waiting for Anders to relax. Anders tightened his fingers on the arm of the chair he sat in, he really wanted to reach out and slap Alistair. That Darkspawn was hurting Sareyna and Zevran and Alistair had been face to face with him and had let him live.

"He didn't seem to know what was going on with Sareyna and Zevran." Alistair stated at length. "He is looking over his notes and is planning on meeting with Morrigan in a couple weeks at the Silverite mine to see if they can come up with a solution."

"And you believed him? When we're burying your wife and lover, I'm sure that him saying that he didn't know what was happening will be a great comfort to us all." Anders spat.

Alistair stood abruptly and crossed to Anders. He reached out towards Anders threateningly and ended up on the floor on his back. Anders had stood as he fell, Ser Pounce-a-lot having jumped to the back of the chair. "Don't you dare touch me." Anders nearly screeched, the pulse of energy that had knocked Alistair down had almost been instinctual.

And brother or not, when Alistair had been coming at him with rage coloring his features all Anders had been able to see was a Templar. He could feel himself shaking and didn't know if it was from fear or anger. He still felt raw from his morning with the Templar attack and then his afternoon relieving horrors he had promised himself he would forget.

Then Sareyna was there wrapping her arms around him and pulling him into a tight hug. "Shh, love, we're alright." Anders buried his head in her shoulder needing her to hold him, if only for a moment, just to get his bearings.

It was too much; the idea of something happening to her or Zev terrified him. And the fact that Alistair had that…thing in his grasp and had let him go, it was unthinkable. How could he, didn't he love them? He had sat beside Anders all those nights as Sareyna and Zevran had suffered and he had let the bastard walk away.

Alistair was climbing to his feet behind them and Anders could feel his eyes boring into them but he didn't pull away from her. He just stood there and let Sareyna hold him and fought back tears. He wrapped his arms around her and whispered, "I'm sorry, 'Reyna."

She nodded and kept a hold of him.

Zevran's voice was soft behind them. "Tesoro, come sit."

"No, what the Fade is going on here?"

Sareyna released Anders but kept a hold of his wrist as she turn to Alistair and spoke. "Nothing, we're just all a little emotional. Let's just sit and talk."

Anders watched as Zevran pulled Alistair towards the couch and sat down beside him. Sareyna tugged Anders backwards so that he was back in the chair he had been originally occupying and she perched on the arm, her hand resting on his shoulder. Pounce jumped down into his lap again, meowing at him angrily before laying back down.

Anders stroked his ears, "Sorry Pounce."

Alistair snorted, "You apologize to the cat, but not to your brother. The person you actually attacked?"

Morrigan turned a glare to Alistair, "From where I was sitting, it looked like he was defending himself."

"What? I wasn't going to hurt him." Alistair scowled looking a little hurt. He met Anders' eyes, "I wouldn't have hurt you."

Anders took a deep breath, he needed to calm down. This was Alistair; he knew Alistair loved Sareyna and Zevran. And he was Anders' brother; perhaps he had over reacted to Alistair's supposed threat. "What were you going to do?"

Alistair looked a little lost then shook his head, "I don't know. Let's just forget it."

Anders nodded, "I'd like that. I'm sorry if I hurt you."

Alistair grinned a little, "Takes more than a little love tap like that to hurt me."

Morrigan spoke up again, "I think that's everything pertinent about Renault for now." She turned to Anders, "We need to get together and go over your notes about Sareyna and Zevran, I need to understand everything that has happened to them." She paused for a moment and made sure she had his attention, "Everything, Anders."

Anders bit his lip and nodded, he knew what she was talking about. He hadn't really known what to write in his notes about Sareyna's burns so he had been vague and those notes seemed a bit disjointed, but he just hadn't been able to bring himself to write what had actually happened, even now it seemed completely impossible.

"I'm going to go speak to him with you."

"Anders, I'm not going to attack him. There are things we can yet learn from him."

"It isn't safe for you to go alone and I know more about what they have been through than anyone. It would be irresponsible for me not to go." He held her gaze, determined he would be going with her.

Eventually, she nodded, "Fine." She turned back to the group. "On that same subject, we should try to communicate with Trelain in the Fade again. He might have information that we need. It will take Anders and I a day or so to plan out the ritual, but we should do it as soon as possible."

"I think you should talk to him Morrigan, you understand more about ancient magics than I do."

Morrigan shook her head, "I can't Anders. I dare not enter the Fade until I know I am safe from Flemeth."

"I still don't understand the whole Flemeth issue." Anders scowled; no one had ever given him a satisfactory explanation as to what exactly Flemeth was.

Morrigan laughed bitterly, "No one does, I do not even understand it completely myself."

"Zevran and I may be able to shed a little light on that actually." Sareyna shifted on the arm of the chair and Anders could feel her tighten her grip on his shoulder a fraction. Something was obviously bothering her. "The last two dreams that Zevran and I had were about Flemeth."

"Why are you dreaming about my mother now? I thought your dreams were related to Renault and those he affected." A deep furrow appeared between Morrigan's brows as she scowled at them.

It was Zev who answered her, "In a way, he had a hand in your mother's life as well. After Andraste died upon the pyre she wandered the Fade seeking Renault. She wanted revenge for being used, and tricked into thinking he was a god. She did not move on as the Chantry says our spirit does after we pass away.

She stayed in the Fade, I do not know if all people do, or if she did it by force of will. Over the years she learned how to manipulate the Fade and learned new magics from demons. Obviously, she became quite powerful as time went on. The Fade spirits didn't know what to make of her and it was well known that she often killed demons. Most of them gave her a wide berth. She kept an eye on Renault and what he was doing, planning her revenge.

While she was there, she saw spirits speaking to a young woman. She was curious as to why the spirits were attracted to her, they usually stay away from mortals, but they seemed drawn to her. As Andraste neared she realized the spirits were trying to comfort the woman. Her approach drove the other spirits away. And the woman was left alone with her."

Morrigan was watching him, her back rigid. When he paused she nodded, as if to urge him to continue.

"The woman was Flemeth. And it was like she told you. Osen was her husband and Conobar betrayed him. Andraste offered to kill him for your mother. And your mother agreed."

"Stop," Morrigan choked, "don't call her my mother."

Zevran nodded, "Andraste killed Conobar, it was violent and messy. And when she was done she told Flemeth to flee. That Conobar's men would come looking for her because they knew she could speak to spirits. Andraste told her to go to the Wilds."

Morrigan closed her eyes, "I don't understand. It was a human spirit who slew Conobar?"

Anders shook his head, "She wouldn't be human after living in the Fade for so long."

"So was she a spirit or demon?"

Anders shook his head, "No, only those originally of the Fade can be called such, she was…something else. I'm not sure there is even a word for it."

"Are you sure Anders? Because in the Wilds Andraste possessed Flemeth." Sareyna was watching him carefully.

"Wait, she possessed Flemeth? How did she…?" Anders felt confused, he had never heard of a…ghost for lack of a better term, possessing a living body before.

"Flemeth agreed to it. Conobar's men chased her for a long time, weeks, maybe longer and finally she couldn't do it anymore and so she asked Andraste for help."

"Flemeth would never do such a thing."

"She was young Morrigan, younger than we are now. And she didn't know who she was; she thought Andraste was a spirit of vengeance." Sareyna leaned forward on the arm of the chair. "She was starving and injured and she didn't want to die, she thought it was the only way."

Morrigan scowled, "Don't defend her."

"I'm not." Sareyna sighed.

Morrigan sat up straighter, "Anything else I should know?"

"It felt like she was drowning at first when it happened she couldn't breathe. And Andraste was frustrated with Flemeth. Apparently, Flemeth was very powerful but undisciplined. She couldn't concentrate so whenever there were spells that required any amount of concentration Andraste had to push Flemeth's consciousness aside so that she could take care of it." Zevran paused for a moment, "I think that's everything."

"Just lovely, Flemeth is not only centuries old, she is possessed by a mage centuries older than she is even. I'll lose eventually. Sooner or later she is going to find me, and no matter what I know, it won't be as much as she does."

"That may be, but you will have something she doesn't have." Alistair was giving Morrigan his best 'trust me' look.

"Hmm?"

"You have us; we'll be there to help you. We won't let her take you, Morrigan. I promise you that."

Morrigan nodded solemnly, "Thank you Alistair."

The conversation devolved from there into the minutia of all they had spoken about. Anders tuned it out, turning to rest his hand on Sareyna's arm. "I'm alright now; I promise I won't attack your husband."

Sareyna looked down at him and smiled, "I know." She leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek before climbing off the arm of the chair. She sat on the couch with Alistair and Zevran and he caught that they were discussing the dreams, but he couldn't listen in because Morrigan was grilling him about his notes.

Anders settled back into the chair, Pounce still curled on his lap. He supposed it was time to start tying up the pieces, and that started with being forthcoming with Morrigan. So he listened as best as he could in his distracted state and answered any questions she asked honestly.

Anders picked up his bottle of wine that he had set beside the chair earlier and took a long pull. Maybe he wouldn't sound so crazy if he was drunk. He suppressed an irreverent smile and focused again on Morrigan's questions. Anders had been right; it was going to be a long night indeed.


	21. Chapter 21

**Revelry**

Sareyna weaved down the hall arm in arm with Anders. The two of them were giggling and trying desperately not to walk into any walls as they headed to his room. She leaned against the wall covering her mouth as Anders cursed and tried his key in his door again.

He raised his head and squinted as he looked both ways down the hall, "This is my room right?"

Sareyna doubled over laughing and took the key from his hand and slid it into the lock on the second try. She twisted the handle and pushed the door open.

"Show off." Anders snorted as he followed her into the room and closed the door behind them.

"Lock the door." Sareyna slurred.

"Are you sure? We had a hard enough time opening it the first time."

She nodded.

"They're going to come looking for you at some point." He had one eye closed as he spoke.

Sareyna giggled again, "Too bad, serves them right for kicking us out."

Anders gave a sharp nod and locked the door. He stumbled over to his bed and grabbed a couple blankets before heading for the couch. On the way he tripped on one of the blankets and only Sareyna grabbing his arm kept him on his feet.

They shuffled over to the couch together and climbed on, each sitting on one end. Anders slipped his boots off before curling up with his feet on the couch and handed Sareyna one of the blankets before covering up with one himself. He smiled at her and let his hair down and stretched extravagantly. "This is much better."

Sareyna pulled her boots off and let her hair down as well, giving her head a shake and running her fingers through it. "We should send for more wine." She felt warm and tingly and she was having fun. It wasn't often she was any of those things.

"Is there even anyone awake to send for? It's the middle of the night. Even Pounce abandoned us a few hours ago."

Sareyna sighed dramatically, "I suppose we'll have to do without then." She shook her head, "I still can't believe they kicked us out." She giggled again.

"Yeah, remember when you were the uptight one?"

She narrowed her gaze at him, a little indignant, "I'm not uptight. I'm effective, there's a difference."

"You just keep telling yourself that, sweetheart."

"Anders, have I ever told you that you're an ass?" The man could be so aggravating.

"A time or two, but at least I'm a nice looking ass." He smirked.

Sareyna giggled, "I can't argue with that, you should wear trousers more often."

He chuckled, "Oh no, I'm not going to let just anyone ogle me for free. I have standards you know."

"Really? I had no idea, must be so hard being you." She sighed dramatically.

Anders snorted, "You think it's easy? I have to be twice as charming as most men." Anders frowned, "The Chantry has people so afraid of mages that I'm immediately at a disadvantage. Can you imagine having to always prove you're a human being and not a monster before you can even get to know someone?"

There was a snarky response on the tip of Sareyna's tongue, but Anders was obviously upset. She shook her head a little, "No, I can't imagine." And she really couldn't, Anders was a great guy, funny, good looking and caring, even if he was a bit on the promiscuous side.

"The first time I escaped from the tower I was still pretty young, but all I wanted was a chance to live like normal people. To grow up free, find a nice woman and have a family." He looked at his hands, "by the fourth time I escaped I knew I could never have those things. People were too scared of mages for me to ever have anything meaningful, so I started taking what I could get."

"Things will change; Maric is serious about it this time."

Anders shrugged, "Doesn't matter, it's too late for me anyways."

"Anders," her voice was soft, he was breaking her heart. She had no idea that he wanted those things, but now that he said it she could see it in him. He would be a great father, and a good husband. The man had a huge heart under his snarky remarks and lascivious smiles.

Anders smiled at her suddenly, "Don't look at me like that. I already have most of what I wanted, I am as close to free as a mage can get, I've settled down in one spot to live and I even have a family. I'm content, 'Reyna."

"You know it's not impossible Anders, just difficult. You could still have children."

Anders shook his head, "And what woman would risk having a mage's child? Now stop it, you're depressing as the blight right now. Weren't we having fun?"

Sareyna nodded. She wished there was more she could do for Anders. The man would probably never understand the solace he brought her. Spending time with him reminded her of spending time with Fergus. "I should really write back to Fergus, he's probably worried."

"Hmm, well that was certainly a non-sequi…non-seq…"

"Non-sequitur?" Sareyna helpfully supplied.

"Yeah, one of those things, you know I think I drank too much, my tongue feels numb." As if to demonstrate he stuck out his tongue a little and bit it. "I think it fell asleep." Anders shrugged, "So why the sudden desire to write to Fergus and who exactly is Fergus?"

Sareyna furrowed her brow, "I never told you about Fergus?"

"If you did, I don't remember at this particular moment, not that it's saying much."

"Fergus is my brother, you remind me a bit of him."

Anders looked at her thoughtfully for a minute, "Younger or older."

"Older."

"Huh, figures. You guys do realize that I'm only about two years older than you right? And why, besides being older than you, do I remind you of him."

"Fergus never treated me different, never coddled me because I was a girl. He'd spar with me as hard as he did his own men. And I could talk to him about anything and he didn't judge me or look down on me, he just listened and sometimes offered advice." She smiled a little, "Although he was quite perturbed when he realized I had lost my virginity. Funny thing was, I never even told him, he just knew. Cornered me in my room and demanded to know who had dared to lay a hand on his baby sister."

"Sounds like a decent guy."

Sareyna nodded, she had been blessed when she was growing up and she knew it. On the worst of days she would close her eyes and picture her family in happier times.

Her father's face as he laughed, eyes nearly shut and deep laugh lines. Or her mother struggling not to laugh at something inappropriate that Sareyna had done, she would press her lips tight together to try to hide it but the ends of her mouth would still manage to curve up and it was easy to see the mirth in her eyes. And then there was Fergus, he had a rich baritone and his whole body shook with his laughter. The man was never quiet about it and the sound of it made everyone who heard it smile.

She cringed a little, "I really miss him. He's different now, so somber, like someone turned the wick inside him way down low."

"What Howe did to your family must have been terrible for him."

Sareyna nodded then sighed, "Let's talk about something else."

Anders tilted his head back and yawned, "You know, I was thinking about getting another tattoo. I mean this is the longest I've ever been out of the Circle and I haven't even commemorated it yet."

Sareyna smiled, "Are all of your tattoos to commemorate getting out of the Circle?"

Anders nodded.

"Maybe you should get a griffon tattoo to commemorate becoming a Warden. Zevran can do it for you, he did mine and Sigrun's."

Anders was still angry with Zev and didn't really want to ask him for a tattoo. But he had seen the work that Sigrun had done on Zevran and thought he might ask her instead. At any rate it would be an excuse to get her back in his bedroom. "We'll see. You know, it occurs to me that it's odd for a noble woman to have a tattoo."

Sareyna chuckled, "Oh mother was furious with me. She told me no one wanted to marry someone who looked like they would run off into the woods and disappear at any moment. My father thought it was funny, told my mother that at least now the men would have fair warning that I might run away."

"I bet that made your mother happy."

"She just glared and left. My father was perhaps too indulgent with me. Let me do whatever I wished as long as I didn't miss my lessons and I treated others with respect. My mother tried desperately to make me a lady, but I just couldn't stomach it. My dresses always ended up torn and muddied and my hair always ended up in tangles."

Anders smiled, "Yet here you are, Arlessa."

She gave a little nod, "By default, because I'm Warden Commander, which I became by fighting. Not exactly what my mother had in mind."

"Well, I think she would be proud of you." Anders looked away from her and towards the window. "I think you mastered the most important lesson she tried to teach you. You grew up in a home surrounded by love and by those who cared for and looked out for each other. And you've created that same thing here."

He turned back to her, "I wasn't kidding when you found us in the Deep Roads, you have no idea how flattered I was that you came looking for us. I've spent most of my life knowing that if I died tomorrow no one would even care except for Rhoswen, and even she's been gone for years. But you risked your life for me; there is nothing I can ever say that can convey how much that means to me." He smiled suddenly, "Is it strange I feel more like I'm related to you than to Alistair or Morrigan? This is how I imagined it would be like to have a sister."

"I am your sister, Anders, in more ways than one."

"And I'm very thankful." Anders suddenly stood, "You know what I feel like doing?"

Sareyna shook her head.

"I feel like blowing things up, want to come?"

Sareyna giggled and nodded, the pair headed down the hall and Anders kept watch by the door as Sareyna snuck into Zevran's room. She came back with an arm full of small glass flasks. "Fire bombs" she snickered as they moved as quickly and quietly down the hall as they could in their inebriated state.

They slipped around the back of the Keep and went to the far end of the training yard. Sareyna set up a training dummy as Anders made a few little glow lights so they could see the dummy in the dark. They were weak, but he figured they wouldn't need them for long.

* * *

Zevran stopped midsentence and furrowed his brow, "What in the Maker's name is that?" He stood and walked over to the window, there was a huge column of flame outside. He narrowed his eyes and scanned the area before sighing heavily, "We better go get those two before they burn down the Keep, again."

Zevran left the room quickly jogging down the steps to the main hall and out the door before running around to the back of the Keep where he found the two Wardens giggling madly.

"My fireball is bigger than yours." Anders taunted.

"I would hope so, mine aren't real." Sareyna teased back as she threw another flask at a charred stick which might have been a training dummy at one point. There was a slow rolling fire that blanketed the area and burned for a few minutes.

Zevran stood and watched, not sure exactly what it was the pair was doing. As the flames died down from the fire bomb Sareyna turned to Anders.

"Do the big one again, that was pretty."

He smiled, "Anything you wish." Anders coalesced a small ball of fire in his hand and let it grow and grow until it was nearly the size of a cow's head. Then he loosed the fireball flinging it at the section of burnt ground. It flared up reaching at least twenty feet into the air.

"That's so pretty." Sareyna murmured.

"Are you two still drunk?" Zev tried to keep the annoyance out of his voice as he felt Alistair coming up behind him finally.

Sareyna and Anders both spun around looking like kids caught stealing cookies. Sareyna straightened up and fixed him with a glare, "We are practicing, maybe you've heard of it."

Her serious demeanor was ruined by Anders laughing behind her. Zevran shook his head, "Let's get you two back in the Keep."

"We're not children, Zev."

"No you're a couple of drunks playing with fireballs in bare feet."

This time it was Sareyna who laughed. Alistair came over and picked her up and started carrying her back inside the Keep. "Alistair put me down." Alistair ignored her and kept going. "Don't make me set your ass on fire."

Anders was walking a few steps behind, being almost pushed by Zevran. "She'll do it." He turned to Zev. "You better take those fire bombs away from her; she really will set him on fire."

Zevran sighed and took a step forward. "Querida, give me…" Zevran suddenly clutched his head as a high pitched screech sounded in his ears and a sharp pain throbbed through his head. He felt someone touching his arm but when he tried to look up everything went grey and then black.


	22. Chapter 22

**No One Left**

Alistair almost dropped Sareyna as she screeched Zevran's name and jerked and fought to get out of Alistair's arms. He put her down and she dropped to the floor and cradled Zevran's head. His eyes were open but he didn't seem to be seeing anything and he was still clutching his ears as if they were hurting him. Zevran's right foot kicked out awkwardly a few times before his body went rigid.

"Anders help him, he's hurting."

Anders was already kneeling beside the elf, his hands running a bright glow over Zevran's head. He looked up at Alistair, "Get Morrigan, now!"

"I'm here." She was standing a few paces behind Alistair and came forward to kneel beside Zevran as well. She let her own healing energies sweep over the elf to see what was causing the problem.

Zevran's eyes suddenly stopped moving and he stared straight up, the fear clear in their sightless gaze. A slow trickle of blood had started from his nose and as Sareyna watched another seeped from the corner of his eye. "Anders, what's wrong? Please help him, please."

"I'm trying." Anders turned to Morrigan, "Are you finding anything?"

Morrigan shook her head. "I can't find the source."

Sareyna started sobbing as more blood started to seep from Zevran's other eye. "Zev hang on love, hang on." She took a deep breath and looked up at Alistair. "Get a cart ready, we're going to see this Architect now. He's going to fix us."

Alistair hesitated only a second before running from the Keep. Sareyna rubbed her temple as her head started to pound. She looked up the stairs, she really needed Nathaniel but she wasn't willing to leave Zevran so she looked back to Anders wondering what she should do next.

"Morrigan, we have to find the cause, he's going to get brain damage if we can't stop it. Do you want to try to clear some of the blood away or look for the source of the bleeding?" Anders' voice was calm but there was a sheen of sweat on his forehead.

"Nathaniel!" Sareyna turned from Anders and looked back up the stairs and bellowed, hoping that all her time on battlefields had strengthened her voice enough that he might hear it.

As she turned back to Anders and Morrigan she saw Morrigan reach out and tentatively touch Anders' arm. When he looked up at her she pointed to Sareyna. Anders' eyes went wide. "Sareyna, you're bleeding." And she heard the beginnings of panic in his voice.

She swiped at her nose pulling away covered in blood and shook her head, "I'm fine, help him."

"You're not fine. You need to lie down." Anders' voice had an edge of steel in it.

"I'll lay down when Zevran's better. For now, he's more important."

"You needed me Command…What's going on?" Nathaniel ran down the last few steps, his hair haphazardly pulled back, feet bare in a light tunic and trousers. His brow creased as he approached them. "What can I do to help?"

"I need some health poultices. And we need some towels for the blood." Anders looked around him then back at Sareyna, "And go get someone to watch over Sareyna. I can't watch her and help Zevran at the same time." He turned to look at Morrigan, "Which one?" There was a note of frustration in his voice.

"I'll clear it away, you look for it." With that she moved her hands a little farther away from Zevran's head and the teal light of her healing energy intensified.

"I need you to gently increase the body's absorption of the blood and push the rest out of his head so it won't cause damage to his brain."

Morrigan nodded.

The throbbing in Sareyna's head became worse and she wiped more blood away from her nose. Nathaniel came back with an armful of health poultices and lyrium and just a step behind him was Justice carrying towels. He set them down and handed one to Sareyna.

"Commander, you seem to be bleeding."

Sareyna took the towel and wiped her face clean before pressing the towel to her nose. "I know, Justice." Her voice muffled.

"Nathaniel has instructed me to stay here with you and to make sure you follow Anders' orders."

"I'm fine Justice."

Anders looked up at Justice, "She is not fine, and I'm the Warden healer, when Sareyna is injured I outrank her. She has to do what I say, whether she wants to or not. Understood Justice?"

Justice turned to Nathaniel, "Is that true?"

Nathaniel nodded.

"Very well, what would you have of me then, mage?"

"Get her to lie down and stay there."

Justice looked at Sareyna, "The mage says you are to lay down Commander, I recommend you do so."

Sareyna snorted and rolled her eyes but she moved carefully away from Zevran, placing his head gently on the floor before laying down herself. "Happy?"

"Very." Anders snapped as he continued to work on Zevran. "Justice, have her drink a healing potion."

"You can talk to me you know, Anders."

"I could, but you don't listen."

* * *

Justice opened a healing potion and placed it in Sareyna's hand. He raised her head a little to assist her in drinking it, but kept her in as prone a position as possible. When she had finished he gently laid her head back on the floor.

As he let her go her body suddenly seized and so did Zevran's. It started moving in jerks and twitches. Anders grabbed Zevran's head cradling it gently as he started thrashing. "Justice, her head, hold it gently, let her move but don't let her hit it on anything. Nathaniel I need you to come here and hold Zevran so we can keep working on this bleeding."

Anders raised his head, "Sigrun! Oghren!" He used a bit of magic to amplify his voice, to make sure it would reach them before turning his full attention back to Zevran. Nathaniel had already moved into place and was easing his fingers under Anders'.

"I'm not going to hurt him like this am I?" Nathaniel eyed the elf's thrashing body.

"He might pull a muscle in his neck but it will be a lot better than a fractured skull." Anders was shoving the fear that was trying to suffuse his body down into a tight ball in his gut so he could work. He heard footsteps on the stairs and without looking up he yelled, "Get their potions, Sareyna's is in the top drawer of her white wardrobe and Zevran's is in the middle drawer of the table next to his bed. And hurry."

The footsteps retreated, "I found it." Anders let out a sigh of relief as he began to mend the broken vessel that was in Zevran's head.

"Anders, the Commander has begun to bleed from her eyes as well."

Anders nodded, "Just a few moments, Justice. I'm almost done."

Suddenly, both Sareyna and Zevran froze at the same time and spoke, it was only one word and it was raspy, almost reptile like as it seemed to scrape from too dry throats, "Razikale"

Anders shuddered and was sure that the blood had just frozen in his veins. Trembling he finished fixing the vessel in Zevran's head before moving over to Sareyna.

"Anders, did you…"

He cut Morrigan off. "I heard it, but it's not a priority, finish up with him and come help me over here."

Morrigan nodded and went back to work clearing the rest of the blood from Zevran's head.

"I know that name, mage."

Anders nodded, "Yeah, we all do Justice. Just let me work."

"As you wish." Even though Sareyna's body had stopped thrashing Justice still held her head cradled in his hands gently.

Morrigan moved over to assist Anders, "He's not waking up." She gestured over to where Nathaniel had Zevran's head resting on his calf and he seemed to be diligently trying to wipe the blood from Zevran's face.

Anders nodded, "Well he's out of immediate danger for now, one problem at a time. We're going to do the same thing with Sareyna as we did with him, alright?"

Morrigan nodded and her teal energy began to flow again. Sigrun and Oghren returned with flasks in hand. Quickly, they set them on the floor near the health poultices and lyrium.

"Someone bring me some lyrium?" Morrigan asked gently.

"Me too," Anders breathed as he took a moment to wipe more blood away from Sareyna's nose.

Sigrun opened two flasks and handed one to each of them. She looked around taking in the blood and the two prone bodies, "Is it another dream?" Anders could hear the undercurrent of distress in the dwarf's usually chipper voice.

Anders shrugged, "I'm not sure. It's different from what has happened before, but the dreams seem to always be changing." He gulped down the lyrium feeling its icy burn all the way down his throat before he turned his attention back to Sareyna and let his sapphire healing energy surround her head again. Anders found the broken vessel in exactly the same location as the one in Zevran's head. He sighed, "That is not good." He spoke quietly, almost under his breath.

"What is the matter? Can you not fix her?" Justice's usually booming voice was also quiet.

"No, I think I can Justice, it is just that her injury is very similar to his and they have no apparent cause." Anders turned to Oghren, "Can you go to the kitchens and heat up some water for me?"

"Aye" Oghren gave a small nod before he ran towards the kitchens still clad in just his night shirt.

"I need more lyrium." Morrigan's voice was soft and Anders could see how tired she was, the bleeds were bad and there was a lot of blood to get rid of and it had to be done quickly and carefully. It was obviously taxing Morrigan.

Sigrun handed her another open flask and she downed it quickly, "Come on 'Reyna, don't leave me alone here with these lunatics." She murmured as she began healing her again.

Anders nodded, "I was just thinking the same thing." Finally, the tear was healed and he moved away from Sareyna a little and grabbed another health poultice. He pulled Zevran upright and started forcing him to drink it. He sighed tiredly, "I have way too much experience doing this for my liking."

Anders was able to get the poultice down fairly easy and he had Sigrun bring him Zevran's potion next, they were going to have to start doubling their doses, it seemed the single dose was no longer effective and the dreams, if that was what happened, were only getting worse.

By the time he had finished with the green potion Morrigan had finished with clearing the blood from Sareyna. She scooted back and leaned against a pillar looking ashen.

"Are you alright?" He asked quietly as he gently set Zevran back down.

Morrigan nodded, "I'm just tired."

Anders moved over to Sareyna and took her gently from Justice's hands. Justice watched him closely as he gave Sareyna a health poultice and then her green potion as well. Anders went to lay Sareyna back down but Justice reached out to cradle her head again.

"The floor is hard." He said as if by way of explanation.

Anders was frankly too tired to care. He stood and looked at everyone, and saw they were all looking to him for guidance. It was his own fault; he had said he was in charge. "When Oghren comes back, clean the two of them up and clean up the floor as well. No one needs to see that blood." With that he strode out the still open door of the Keep. He walked down the steps and crossed to a small grassy patch where he sat down.

"I don't remember the last time I prayed, and now that I want to there's no one left to pray to." Anders let out a half hysterical laugh. "And here I am talking to myself again." He shuddered as he thought about that one word the two of them had spoken. It had sounded almost like one voice from two different directions at the same time. And it hadn't sounded like either of them. "The Old God of Mystery, well I guess that's fitting."

Anders tipped his head back and looked at the stars. Had he thought them beautiful once? It seemed now they mostly brought terror. Every time the sun went down he had to worry about losing one of them. And it would kill him to lose them, he knew it would.


	23. Chapter 23

**Revelations, Part 2**

Morrigan was carefully washing blood from Sareyna's face when she heard her name being called in a panicked voice. She set the towel down and stood up turning towards the sound. "Eveleen, what is it?"

Eveleen's eyes were wide and her skin was ashen, "It's the babe, he's glowing." She looked down at Zevran and Sareyna lying on the floor, most of the blood had been cleaned up but there were still a few smears that the others were working on cleaning out of the stone. "What's happened?"

"Calm yourself. This has been handled, tell me about the child."

Eveleen swallowed with difficulty and nodded, "Yes, he started glowing a strange purple color and I called out his name, but he doesn't respond. And when I tried to pick him up my hand got burned. I don't know what to do for him, so I came to look for you or Anders, but I can't find him."

"Who is with the child now?"

"Sloan is staying with him."

Morrigan nodded, "Go back and I will be there in a moment." She turned back to the others, "Sareyna's right we need to go to the Architect as soon as possible. Finish cleaning this up and get your things together to go to the Silverite mines."

Nathaniel raised a brow, "All of us?"

Morrigan nodded, "Everyone. And don't leave these two alone. Two people stay with them at all times so if one of you needs to come get Anders and I there will still be someone here to watch over them." She walked through the Keep's doors and spotted Anders sitting curled up on the grass. She walked to him and touched him lightly on the shoulder, "Anders, there is something going on with Trelain."

Anders let out a breath, "Of course there is." He stood and turned to face her.

Morrigan was surprised by the pain she saw on the man's face. "Is there anything…?" She didn't know what to do; she did not know how to console another.

Anders shook his head, "Just help me." He took another deep breath and she watched as the pain slipped away replaced by a mask of professionalism. Morrigan figured he had learned that in the tower, how to hide what he was really feeling. It still looked strange seeing the normally expressive mage with his face so blank and passive.

* * *

He strode back to the Keep his long legs eating up the ground quickly. He jogged up the steps and paused inside the door to glance at his two friends, both were still unconscious. Anders looked to Nathaniel. "Someone needs to go check on Alistair in the stables. He was getting a cart ready. He doesn't know about Sareyna."

Nathaniel stood, "I will take care of it." Someone had placed a pillow under Zevran's head while Anders had been outside.

Anders nodded gratefully and he walked with Morrigan to Eveleen's room. Eveleen was sitting in the corner with her daughter on her lap. Sloan sat near the crib but didn't touch it. Even from the doorway it was easy to see the purple glow radiating from Trelain.

Anders stopped about a foot from the crib and just looked over Trelain. Morrigan stepped a bit closer and raised her hand to test the edge of the purple energy. "Morrigan." Anders' voice warned.

"I'll be fine, Anders."

"He's opened himself to the Fade. Whatever this is, it's to protect his body while he's there. I've never seen this kind of magic before."

Morrigan took a quick step back as she was burned from the purple glow. It had passed through her shield as if it wasn't there. Anders let a brief pulse of healing energy heal her reddened skin making a quiet noise of irritation.

Morrigan shook her head, "I've never seen it either. It went right through my shield." She seemed a little nervous. She was probably thinking the same thing Anders was; it was strange that Trelain was in the Fade at the same time that Zevran and Sareyna were unconscious in the main hall. She turned to Anders, "Do you think?"

Anders shook his head, "I don't know anything anymore. Maybe one of us should stay in here and the other stay with Sareyna and Zevran."

Morrigan nodded, "Go on, I'll stay."

Anders gave her a grateful, if weak smile and left the room.

Morrigan settled in a chair and watched the shield, trying to detect any energy patterns or shifts in it to see if it would help her learn more.

* * *

Anders walked back to the main hall and was relieved that the last of the blood had been cleaned up and the filthy water had been taken away. He wasn't surprised at all to see Pounce curled up next to Zevran, tucked against the assassin's neck.

"Mage, your feline companion will not leave the assassin alone."

"It's alright Justice; he's just trying to help." Anders settled down on the floor between Sareyna and Zevran.

"I do not understand, your cat is not a healer."

Anders shook his head, "Just forget about it. He's fine where he is. You know, we could set that pillow under Sareyna's head like they did for Zevran, then you wouldn't need to keep holding her."

"I am fine, thank you."

Anders studied Justice for a minute. The spirit was watching Sareyna's face as he held her head. Anders smiled to himself, seemed the spirit was capable of experiencing things other than a need for justice. He was worried about Sareyna. Anders made himself comfortable, looking up as footsteps approached from the kitchens.

Sigrun smiled at him, "Coffee." She held out a mug.

Anders took it gratefully inhaling its rich scent before taking a sip. "That's wonderful, thank you."

"Don't thank me, thank Shannon."

Anders scowled, "What's she doing up?"

Sigrun shook her head, "I have no idea, but she's made coffee and is making biscuits as we speak."

Anders took another sip of his coffee and resumed his vigil.

* * *

Sareyna sat up rubbing her eyes. She looked around her as she struggled to her feet, squinting to try to make her eyes focus better. Taking a sharp breath in, she took an involuntary step backwards, "I know this place." She jumped nearly out of her skin as she heard a voice behind her.

"Good, then you can enlighten me, Querida."

She spun, "Zev, what are you doing here?"

He laughed a little, "I don't even know where here is."

"This is where I spoke with Urthemiel before."

As if conjured by his name they both heard him speak a moment before seeing him. "Mother," he turned his head and looked at Zevran and gave him a broad smile, "Zevran."

Zevran stepped forward, "This is what you looked like? Why does it seem so familiar to me?"

Urthemiel gave him another smile but didn't speak.

"Why are we both here, Urthemiel?" Sareyna couldn't keep the concern from her voice.

"I could not be sure the healer would be able to save you." His words were soft, but they still felt like a fist to the gut.

"Save us?" Zevran looked at Sareyna, "What happened?"

She shook her head, "I don't know. We were walking and then you grabbed your head and fell. Anders and Morrigan were working on healing you last I knew."

Urthemiel stepped close to them, he placed a hand on each of their shoulders and Sareyna felt herself relax. She hadn't even realized how tense she was, it felt as if a tight cord was slowly being unwound, it was a great relief. He ushered the two of them forward to a fallen log, he gestured and the two of them sat. Urthemiel settled in front of them, facing them both.

"There is a dark, corrupted magic in both of you. It feels similar to how Renault felt to me before. It must be inside of your bodies somewhere, but I cannot be sure. This is causing many of the symptoms the two of you have been having.

But there is another energy at play. Another magic is using this link, this corrupted magic to affect you both. I recognize this energy, it is twined with the energy of others, but I would know the thrum and beat of her magic anywhere. The dreams you are having are being sent to you by my sister I fear."

Zevran's brow furrowed, "Your sister?"

He nodded, "Razikale, it is she who has been showing you these things. Though whether her intentions are to injure you or not, I cannot say. I believe it is the corrupted nature of the magic inside of you that she is tapping into that is causing the adverse effects."

"Like almost dying?"

Urthemiel nodded, his light locks shifting in an unfelt breeze.

"How can she use magic while she is trapped underground? I thought it was why you couldn't do magic, you were trapped in that dragon form in order not to be crushed." Sareyna was feeling more and more confused.

"My sister is no longer trapped; in fact, it appears she has not been trapped for some centuries."

"Then why wouldn't she free you and your brethren?" Zevran's tone was even and Sareyna noticed he was still staring at Urthemiel as if trying to understand where he had seen him before.

"I would guess she does not know where we were. Now that I am in a different body I can no longer feel my siblings. Perhaps, the same happened to her?"

"So there's another old god walking Thedas?"

"There is and Razikale has always been a bit unpredictable, it is hard to know what exactly she wants or expects in any situation."

Sareyna smirked, "I suppose that makes sense for the god of mystery right? Nothing can ever be simple. What about Renault, what do we do about him?"

"Have him tell you where that corrupted magic is and get it out. I only hope it's not too late."

Zevran stood up, "What do you mean?"

"Your healer is still working to save you both."

"What happens if he can't save us?" Sareyna felt a sinking feeling in her stomach.

"I can keep you here, or you can find your own way in the Fade."

"What happens to souls in the Fade?"

"Those that cannot let go usually become spirits or demons. And those that can let go usually dissipate and cease to be."

Sareyna was standing next to Zevran now, "So spirits and demons are the souls of people?"

"Not all of them, some are collections of conscious thought. A group of people with a single goal can project enough energy towards that goal that it forms a consciousness of its own and becomes a spirit or a demon."

"I remember where I know you from. You were there atop Fort Drakon when we killed…well you, I guess."

Urthemiel stood, "You set me free from that torture and then you tried to leave. I could not just let you die." He turned away from them both for a moment as he continued. "Things have begun to happen before their time and now that they have, you are needed Zevran Arainai."

He turned back to Zevran and stroked his cheek affectionately, "There is much you need to do." He dropped his hand, "If your healer can save you, then your path is already written. The fortune teller was right, you will not die young. But neither will you ever have a chance to truly rest."

Zevran's face was a careful mask. "Will I be alone?"

Urthemiel canted his head to the side, "Any solitude you face will be self imposed."

"And what about me?"

Urthemiel blinked as he looked at her as if just noticing her, "There will be time for you. There is a lot of heartache ahead for you, but know that everything that happens, is happening because there is no other way for it to be."

Sareyna shook her head, "I don't accept that. I have heartache enough in my life."

"She will be forged in fire and pain

Stronger than any known metal

She will wield her pain as a weapon

And it will cut through her foes with ease

Only her love shall be stronger

All who are loved by her are sheltered

And forgiven."

"And what's that supposed to be?" Sareyna was agitated.

"Just something that is known by the very old. Women are the glue that binds the world together; you can take more than men can. And become more because of it."

"Well you can keep it. I'm happy being Warden Commander."

Urthemiel didn't respond immediately. "Your healer has saved you both." He was quiet again seeming to be waiting for something before speaking again, "You will need your healer to defeat Renault if he attacks you. A strong healing spell will bring him to his knees. It will try to reverse what has been done to him."

"What do you think about his plan to end the Blights?" Sareyna asked quietly.

"It is best not to trust him; you know what he is capable of."

"He said he was trying to stop you from singing the song and didn't mean to corrupt you."

Urthemiel shook his head, "It does not change what he did. He changed more than just me."

"Since Razikale is no longer entombed, will the Blights stop with Luscan?" Zevran spoke this time.

"I do not know, they are not tied to us in any way that would cause them to suddenly stop. More than likely the Darkspawn will merely look for something else powerful to lead them. And the world below Thedas holds more horrors than I care to think about.

I'm going to send you both back now. Remember, Renault cannot be trusted, he has caused too much death already."

* * *

"Mage, the Commander is waking."

Anders opened his eyes and yawned, he had apparently dozed while sitting there. He looked over Sareyna and then to Zev, both were stirring slowly. He ran his healing energy over both of them quickly in turn. "They seem to be alright."

"Justice?" Sareyna sounded confused.

"Yes, Commander?"

"You can let me go now."

Justice nodded and released her head gently as she sat up. She looked at Anders then to Zevran.

Zevran looked at Anders and gave him a small smile, "You look like shit, Bello."

Anders snorted, "I still look better than Justice, and probably better than the two of you."

Sareyna scanned the room again, "Where's Alistair?"

"With Nathaniel, finishing getting the cart ready to go to the Silverite mine. Did you two have a dream?"

Zevran furrowed his brow, "Sort of?"

"Anders." Morrigan's voice carried down the hall.

"Will you two be alright if I leave you here?"

"I will watch over them while you check on the child." Justice intoned.

Sareyna turned back to Justice, "What's wrong with Trelain?"

"Nothing, don't worry, I'll be right back." Anders flashed her a smile and took off down the hall at a slow jog. He needed some sleep, soon. He pushed into the room and saw Morrigan holding Trelain in her arms.

"He just dropped it all of a sudden." She looked confused.

"Huh, Sareyna and Zevran just woke up."

Morrigan headed for the door, "Well then let's go talk to them. Obviously, this was related somehow."


	24. Chapter 24

**Healer, Heal Thyself**

Anders came back into the main hall to see Sareyna standing toe to toe with Justice. He smirked as she tried to convince Justice to let her leave the Keep. Justice just watched her with his arms crossed and a flat stare.

Anders took her arm and gently steered her away from Justice. "Here, sit."

"I'm not sitting Anders, this is ridiculous. We need to get ready to leave, I've had enough of this crap; I want whatever this is gone."

"I understand, but everyone is already getting things ready to go, you and Zevran need to rest."

"I'm fine, Anders." She snapped.

Anders dragged her down to the floor and sat across from her. "You and Zevran very nearly died. I wasn't sure I could save you."

"But you did." Sareyna interrupted.

"Barely. And you are both still recovering, so you can either sit here like a good patient or I can paralyze you so you have to stay."

"You wouldn't dare."

Anders gave her a little smile, "Wouldn't I?"

Sareyna gave a little chuckle, "You know you're going to pay for this right?"

Anders stood and waived her off, "Yes, yes punished for the rest of my life by having to put up with you."

* * *

Sareyna leaned back against the post he had sat her near and sighed; now that she was sitting she was quite tired. Morrigan came and sat next to her holding Trelain. The boy reached for her as Morrigan sat and Sareyna gritted her teeth and picked the boy up.

"It gets harder and harder to hold him. We didn't dream this time, we were in the Fade with him."

"Did you get any useful information?"

Sareyna shrugged, "Depends. He doesn't seem to know much more about Renault. And he gave us some wonderful news about how Grey Wardens have a hard life and some other nonsense."

"What's troubling you?"

"He says the dreams aren't from Renault. That his sister is using the corrupted magic Renault put in us to send us the dreams."

Anders returned with Zevran who sat down next to Sareyna with a lot less grace then he usually moved. She noticed his eyes looked a little glazed as well. Anders must have seen her concerned gaze.

"He's alright, it just hit him a bit harder, he'll be fine in a few minutes."

Sareyna nodded, although she didn't feel convinced in the least. She opened her mouth to speak when Alistair came running into the Keep he was wild eyed, "Are they alright, Anders?"

Anders nodded, "They're fine, come see for yourself."

Alistair slowed, walking over to them and looked them both over before looking to Anders. "Are you alright Anders? You're awfully pale."

"I'm fine, Alistair. Just a little tired."

Alistair looked dubious but didn't argue it further. He knelt and hugged Zevran before giving Sareyna a brief kiss. "What happened?"

"I think it was the start of a dream, but Trelain pulled us into the Fade with him. He was worried about our injuries." Sareyna started again. "He didn't seem to know anything else about Renault, but says he's not the one giving us the dreams. It's his sister."

"Sister?"

"Razikale. Apparently, she's no longer trapped and hasn't been for quite some time. He doesn't know when and has no idea why she's sending us the dreams or even if she means to hurt us or if it's just a side effect." Sareyna sighed heavily, "It really wasn't much help at all. And he was being all cryptic. I hate it when people get like that. He reminded me of Flemeth."

Sigrun came down the stairs, "We're almost ready to leave."

Anders nodded, "Thank you." He turned back to Zevran and Sareyna. "You two stay here; Alistair and I will take care of your things. I need you two to just rest."

Sareyna nodded, Alistair was right, Anders did look pale and she didn't want to upset him further. Besides, Zevran still looked fuzzy and she didn't want to leave him alone. She watched the two men walking up the stairs and Anders slowed then stopped completely.

His hand covered his eyes and he stood swaying for a moment. Alistair was a few stairs behind him and he paused, his voice worried as he spoke, "Anders?"

"I'm fine I'm just a little…" his voice slurred on the last word and he was suddenly falling. Alistair jumped over the two steps and caught him right before he hit his head. Morrigan raced up the stairs, her teal healing magic flowing from her fingers.

"He's just exhausted; I think it was too much after him being smited." She looked up at Alistair, "We can't leave tonight. He needs to get some real sleep and so do Zevran and Sareyna." Her voice was quiet but edged with steel, brooking no argument.

Alistair nodded, "We'll leave after everyone sleeps then." Alistair scowled as he picked up Anders to carry him, "I'm already tied of doing this." He disappeared up the stairs with Anders in his arms and Sareyna slowly pushed herself to her feet.

Now that the adrenaline was wearing off she felt exhausted, her legs felt like rubber. She realized briefly that she was completely sober. Though in all honesty she had felt sober from the moment Zevran had collapsed.

Justice was at her side and was helping Zevran to his feet. "Come, I will take you to your rooms."

Sareyna nodded and started moving, Nathaniel followed silently a few steps behind them. "Nathaniel, where is Maric?"

"Still in his rooms I imagine. I told him we had everything handled and for him to stay there. I thought it best."

"Thank you." Sareyna agreed, Maric had seen and heard enough horrible things in the last day and a half. Seeing his daughter-in-law laid out in the main hall bleeding from her eyes and nose was not something he needed to add to that list. "Could you tell him everything has been taken care of and everyone is alright? He'll worry otherwise."

Nathaniel slipped almost soundlessly away. As they reached the top of the steps Sareyna turned to Justice.

"I want to see Anders."

"I don't believe that is wise Commander, he made it quite clear you needed rest."

"I'm worried."

"The witch said he just needed rest, same as you, once you have both rested you can see each other."

Zevran tugged on Sareyna's arm, "Come on, I need to lie down."

Sareyna followed Zevran into their suite of rooms and helped him get undressed before climbing into the bed with him. She curled up with him and was asleep in moments.

* * *

Alistair opened the door to his suite and was surprised to find Justice sitting in a chair by the fire in the sitting room. "Justice?"

"I did not think they should be alone."

Alistair nodded, "Thank you, Morrigan is staying with Anders."

"I will stay nearby, I do not need sleep and can listen for trouble."

Alistair nodded, Justice's face rarely displayed emotion but he was starting to learn the man's body language. His awkward shuffle showed that he was worried and his tightly crossed arms were a testament to him feeling helpless. "Thank you for all of your help, Justice. I really appreciate it."

Justice nodded and left the rooms closing the door behind him and Alistair left it unlocked, not wanting to worry the spirit anymore. He crossed to the bedroom and smiled when he saw Sareyna half undressed curled up sound asleep around Zevran. His heart caught a little in his chest when he noticed something still seemed a little off about Zevran. His face was more slack than usual, even in sleep.

Alistair slid out of his clothes and climbed into the bed behind them. There were at least a half dozen things he could be doing, but he needed some sleep as well. Sleep took it's time in claiming him though as he worried about Sareyna and Zevran as well as Anders.

Alistair could swear that Anders had felt lighter than he had when Alistair had carried him up to his room the previous morning after the Templar incident. And his skin was almost sickly pale, but Morrigan had assured him repeatedly that he was just tired.

Alistair stroked Sareyna's hair lightly before doing the same to Zevran. "I love you." He whispered quietly before closing his eyes.

* * *

Morrigan shook Anders, "Wake up you fool."

Anders groggily roused himself, "Wha?" His words were still a bit slurred.

She tugged on his arm helping him get into a sitting position. She pushed an open flask of Lyrium into his hand. "What were you thinking? We have plenty of lyrium. You could have killed yourself pushing yourself so far."

Anders drank the lyrium and nodded, "I know." He sighed and shook his head, closing his eyes. "I was scared."

Morrigan snorted and handed him another potion. "Just be more careful, and stay awake, I'll be back." She turned and opened the door into the hallway and stopped in surprise, "Justice?"

He turned to her and quickened his steps, "Did you need something?"

"Why are you walking around up here?"

"I do not need sleep and I thought it would be best to have someone listening for trouble."

Morrigan bit her bottom lip for a moment. "Would you get Anders some food?"

"He has awakened?"

Morrigan nodded, "His body needs fuel."

"I will return shortly." He turned, moving swiftly towards the stairs.

"Thank you, Justice." Morrigan felt relief, she really hadn't liked the idea of leaving Anders but he did need food. She went back into the room where Anders was sitting against the wall his head back and eyes closed, the empty lyrium flask held loosely in his hand.

Morrigan almost laughed, he looked funny like a street artist's parody of a drunk. But the seriousness of what he had done kept her in check. Any mage who had a modicum of training knew of the dangers of continuing to cast spells when your mana was depleted.

Once the mana was gone you were drawing on your own life and could easily kill yourself. Yet, this was the second time she had seen Anders do it. She would slap him if she thought it would help. "She won't thank you for saving her if you kill yourself in the process."

Anders lifted his head a little. "I wasn't going to kill myself."

"Using your life is just stupid Anders. There is no excuse, not with the resources the Warden's have, and I was right there."

"You're one to talk, you use blood magic."

"And blood magic is still safer than what you're doing." She snapped back. "The next time you pull some bullshit stunt like that I'm telling Sareyna exactly what it is you're doing."

"Fine Morrigan, now is the lecture over, I'm tired." Anders' tone was harsh.

"Rest, Justice will be back with food in a few minutes."

"Morrigan, I can't eat now."

"Enough Anders, I'm not one of your Circle friends. You can't wheedle me into letting you continue your stupidity."

Anders gave her a little grin, "You're worried about me."

Morrigan closed her eyes and reined in her temper, the man was so infuriating.

"Admit it, you're worried about me."

Morrigan opened her eyes and glared at him, "Will it make you shut up?"

Anders smirked, "Perhaps."

"Fine, I'm worried." Anders gave a triumphant smile and Morrigan couldn't help a small smile herself, it took such little things to make him happy sometimes. "Besides, I haven't seen you put Alistair on his ass yet."

Anders laughed and it was a deep rich sound, "And they said it was hard to get into your good graces."

Morrigan shook her head and went to the door at the sound of a soft knock. Justice had brought up a plate piled high with food.

"Is he well?"

Morrigan snorted, "That's debatable." as she took the tray.

"I beg your pardon, I do not understand."

Anders laughed again, "It's a joke Justice, she's saying that even when I am well there's something wrong with me."

Justice nodded, "That would explain a lot of things."

Anders and Morrigan both laughed this time; Justice gave them a confused look and turned away to resume his vigil.


	25. Chapter 25

**On Our Way**

It was mid afternoon when Anders awoke. He stretched and turned on his side to look around the room. Morrigan was asleep on his couch with Pounce curled up beside her. He gave a little scowl when Pounce looked at him, "You really are a traitor. Maybe I could have used a little of your TLC last night."

Pounce blinked once and Anders smiled, "Ah well, I can't blame you, she probably moves less than I do huh?"

He climbed out of bed and slipped his feet into some soft leather slippers before he pulled off his dirty tunic and put a clean one on, he wanted to check in on Sareyna and Zevran. Quietly, he slipped out the door. As it slipped shut behind him he saw Justice.

"You're still here?"

"You were all still sleeping."

"Thank you for keeping an eye on all of us."

Justice blinked once then nodded, "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"I just want to check on Zevran and Sareyna."

"They are still in the suite."

Anders padded softly down the hall and slipped into the room. He crossed the sitting room and peeked into the bedroom. Alistair was sitting up on the bed and waived him in when he saw Anders.

"They're still out."

"I just want to check them quickly."

"You look better."

His sapphire blue energy started cascading over Zevran. "Morrigan said you caught me so I didn't hurt myself. Thank you."

"We were worried about you."

Anders nodded and turned his attention to Sareyna. All of a sudden Anders started; he scowled and stepped closer to her running his healing magic over her again. "What the Fade?"

"What? Is she alright?" When Anders didn't immediately answer his voice rose getting louder and sharper, "Dammit Anders, what's wrong?"

Zevran stirred beside Sareyna, "Tesoro?" His voice was thick with sleep.

"Something's wrong with Sareyna."

Zevran shot up, "What's wrong?"

"Uh, nothing, I mean," he reached down and shook Sareyna lightly.

Zevran gripped her shoulder, "Querida, wake up."

Sareyna blinked a couple of times and scowled at the three of them, "What? I'm tired."

"I," Anders looked from Zevran to Alistair, "I need to speak to you for a moment."

"What?" She sounded even more annoyed.

"Alone."

"What? No, you can say whatever it is to us." Alistair was glaring at him now.

Zevran looked from Anders to Sareyna then stood up, "Come Tesoro, it will only be a moment."

Alistair looked lost for a few seconds but Sareyna nodded and he climbed out of the bed as well, "Are you sure 'Reyna?"

She nodded, "I'm fine, Ali I promise."

When the room was empty Sareyna sighed heavily, "I'm with child."

"You know."

She nodded, "I thought I might be. But they say it's impossible so I didn't think about it."

"It's struggling, whether from the trauma your body has been through or because of the taint I don't know." He swallowed hard, "Do you want me to help it?"

She gave him a weak smile, "I want to say no, I don't think I can do it again."

"I don't have to." Anders voice was unusually quiet and somber.

"But I think Zevran already knows." She sighs, "Is it murder if I say no?"

Anders held his tongue but Sareyna must have seen his thoughts anyways.

"I was afraid of that. Fine, do it. I'll tell them when you're done."

Anders' sapphire light surrounded her again, "This is different, it's really yours and his this time. It won't be that bad. I'll help you."

Sareyna's eyes were closed, but her lips were pressed into a grim line as she nodded. When he finished he leaned down and kissed her forehead. "It will be better this time. I'll make sure of that. I'm a better healer than Wynne any day of the week." He forced his voice to sound light.

"Alistair will be happy, he wanted another child."

Anders gave her a sad smile and left to bring Zevran and Alistair back in the room. Zevran sat next to her and took her hand, a tentative smile on her lips. "You're going to be a mother again?"

She nodded solemnly. Alistair gasped and sat heavily on the bed, "A baby?"

Zevran snuggled her and kissed her behind her ear, "I can't wait until you're as round as the moon and I can cover you with kisses." He whispered softly.

Sareyna nodded numbly. It broke Anders' heart seeing her so dispirited over what he thought should have been joyful news. He hadn't known her for her last pregnancy but he knew she had hated it. He thought it had been the weight of the Blight as well as what the child might possibly be that had weighed on her, but seeing her now he wondered.

"I'll give you three some privacy."

Sareyna looked up at him and gave him a small smile while the two men were talking animatedly together. Anders turned and left, his emotions in a tangle. He nodded briefly when Justice asked if everything was alright and disappeared back into his room.

He moved to the window and climbed up onto the window sill. Pulling his knees up and wrapping his arms around them he wondered if he had done the right thing. She hadn't wanted him to save the child, but he was a healer, it was his job. And if he knowingly did nothing it was the same as murder.

How could she not want another child, one that was truly hers this time? It boggled Anders' mind, he would have loved to be given the chance to have a child of his own. He closed his eyes and leaned against the glass.

He knew she would carry the child; she had already resigned herself to it. But she was carrying the child for the three of them, not for herself. She would spare Anders' conscience and let Alistair have hope. Anders wasn't even sure what it was he had seen in Zevran's eyes, it was radiant though.

Zevran still spent more time with Trelain than anyone else at the Keep. A soft smile touched Anders' lips; an assassin who loved children was just funny.

"Something amusing?" Morrigan's voice was soft and not unkind.

Anders opened his eyes and turned to look at Morrigan. She was sitting on the couch with her legs pulled up and the blanket wrapped around her. Pounce had moved to the other side of the couch.

"I was thinking about how much Zevran likes Trelain." He smiled again, "An assassin who loves children."

Morrigan smiled a little in return, "He does spend a lot of time with him."

"I tell you what; I pity anyone who ever threatens that child." Anders' smile faded, "She's with child again."

"What? How?"

Anders shook his head, "I have no idea, and she's not happy about it."

Morrigan stretched out her legs and slowly stood up, "I'm sure once we have things resolved with Renault she'll feel better about it."

Anders was quiet but he couldn't bring himself to believe it, he had seen her face.

"I'm going to finish getting ready to leave. They might still want to try to leave today. What time do you suppose it is?"

"I have no idea, late afternoon sometime." He unfolded himself from the windowsill, "I suppose I should finish getting ready as well."

* * *

Sareyna set her pack and weapons down at the bottom of the stairs and crossed the main hall, carefully not looking at the floor. She pushed into the refectory and was surprised to see all of the Wardens there already eating with the exception of Alistair and Zevran who were still upstairs.

Varel rose from the table and walked over to her, "His Majesty left this morning. He wanted to apologize for not staying to say his good-byes but he had pressing matters. He assured me you would understand."

Sareyna nodded, it all felt a little surreal, Maric had been there for so long it was odd to know he was gone. She silently wished him luck as she moved to sit and began to dish herself up some food, she was positively starving. The little thing was like a vampire, already sucking away her strength; she shuddered a little at the thought.

She felt Anders' eyes on her and looked up and gave him a smile. Anders bit his lip and looked away, Sareyna sighed, she shouldn't have burdened him like that this morning. She should have just said yes with a smile and let him keep his illusions about the miracle of motherhood.

She pushed the thoughts away and tore into her breakfast with gusto. She still wanted to leave before sunset and if Ali and Zev moved their asses hopefully they could still get started. As if conjured by her thoughts they both came into the refectory all smiles and sat down on either side of her.

She felt a twitch of anger run through her but quickly quashed it. It wasn't their fault that she didn't want another child. And just because she couldn't be happy about another child didn't mean that they shouldn't rejoice at their good fortune. 'Their' she was already thinking of the child as belonging to the both of them even though it was clearly Alistair's.

"_Good let the two of them raise it."_ She thought bitterly. She bit her tongue and closed her eyes for a moment trying to get her emotions back under control. When she opened them she noticed Anders watching her again and the sadness in his eyes tugged at her heart. She was hurting him and she felt tears prick at her eyes. She quickly blinked them back and gave him a small smile.

Anders gave her a short nod and went back to eating his breakfast.

* * *

They were on their way in less than an hour, and though they only had a few hours of sun light they made the most of it, even pushing on a few hours after dark by the light of wisps from Anders and Morrigan. When they finally did set up camp Anders came over to Sareyna and sat beside her at the fire.

"I have something for you."

She smiled at him, "Is it something good?"

He gave her a rueful smile, "Yes and no? It will help with any nausea, but it tastes like tree bark."

Sareyna giggled, "Seems a small price to pay to get rid of the nausea. How much do I take?"

"Just a sip should help, but if not it's completely safe to take more." He was quiet for a few beats, "You have to stop drinking."

Sareyna scowled, "What?"

"You know how midwives say a woman carrying a child should not drink spirits? I think they're right. It does something to the baby, like poisons it. I've seen it a few times in the Circle."

"But, the other night?"

Anders nodded, "I know, but I'm hoping I was able to fix it when I" he gestured towards her abdomen.

"Right." She shook her head, "Poor thing's not even born yet and I'm already a terrible mother."

"It will be fine, 'Reyna."

"Is that a promise?"

Anders watched her closely before speaking, "There is nothing I wouldn't do to make this easier for you."

"Would you mind carrying it then?"

Anders chuckled, "You know, I think I might, if I could. If only to be able to say that I had a child of my own."

She blinked a few times, "Don't give up, Anders."

Anders kissed her cheek, "Get some sleep." He rose and left, heading back to his own tent.

She started when she felt Zevran touch her cheek, "He's right, come to bed, Querida."

Sareyna stood and followed Zevran inside.

* * *

The next day was quiet but for a few hushed arguments between Alistair and Zevran that Sareyna stayed out of. She travelled with Anders and Morrigan listening to Morrigan's rich voice going over the arcane warrior arts with Anders, trying to explain the theory of them as they travelled.

"You should have been a story teller, Morrigan."

Morrigan looked at her with peaked interest, "And why would I do that."

"I'd rather listen to you speak than Leliana any day."

"That's because I don't prattle."

Sareyna giggled, "I like your voice."

Anders nodded, "She's right, it's nice." He frowned a little, "Well except when you're yelling at me."

"I don't yell."

"She doesn't, she just scowls and her voice gets that edge of steel and you want to curl up and die."

Anders laughed, "Blown away on a stray gust of wind?"

Sareyna smiled and shrugged, "My original point was I like your voice."

Morrigan looked uncomfortable, "Thank you."

"So how are things with…"

Morrigan cut her off, "I'm trying to teach my thick headed brother how to protect himself."

Sareyna gave a mock bow, "I beg your pardon dear lady."

Morrigan rolled her eyes, "We're going to surprise Alistair."

Sareyna giggled, "I'll keep my mouth shut."

"Good." With that she turned back to Anders and continued her lesson.

That night and the next day the Wardens were unusually quiet. It seemed the closer they got to the mine the less people were interested in saying.


	26. Chapter 26

**Firelight**

Sareyna walked slowly away from the camp, Morrigan on her heels. She needed to find firewood and Morrigan had offered to help, which was the first surprise. Morrigan didn't like searching in the waning light for wood, usually she preferred to help set up the tents.

Sareyna felt a little uneasy, an anxiousness right under her skin. Things between her and Morrigan hadn't been the same since Morrigan had left before the fight with the Archdemon, but neither of them had pushed the issue, but Sareyna knew the look in Morrigan's eyes. She wanted to talk.

"You've been avoiding me in favor of your jester mage."

Sareyna paused, "You two have a lot in common."

"Do we? I find him hard to tolerate." Her voice was the calm controlled voice Sareyna remembered from the beginning of the Blight.

Sareyna smiled as she picked up a few sticks, "He uses his humor like you use your contempt. He hides."

Sareyna heard the whisper of Morrigan's leather skirt as she moved. "And are you dragging him kicking and screaming into the light as well?"

Sareyna turned to face Morrigan, "I see you struggling, trying to find balance. I do, I just don't know how to help. I still haven't found it myself. Maker, look at the mess I've made of my life."

"Are you happy?"

Sareyna gave a short laugh, "Yes and no. I have Alistair and no matter how you feel about him you know he's a good man. And Alistair makes me so happy sometimes I feel overwhelmed with how lucky I am. And then I have another dream or we have to fight more Darkspawn or Templars or…and I wonder, will it ever end?

The Blight taught me how to find those moments of happiness between all the running and the anger and the pain and to treasure it. And I'm grateful I can do that, but I wasn't really planning on making it a lifelong necessity. And now all the people I have made Wardens face the same thing. A lifetime of happy moments between the chaos.

I am happy for my family and my friends, but I am sorry that they are stuck living this life with me." She shrugged, "Does that make sense?"

They walked a little further into the woods as Morrigan seemed to contemplate her words. She paused to pick up a few branches and when she stood back up she spoke quietly. "The other morning I was standing in my room in front of my looking glass and thinking. I thought about Anders and Zevran being back, about how you really care about us, about family and Nathaniel and I realized I was happy.

It was a bizarre thing to me, to feel happy and content. I don't really remember feeling it much ever before, but there it was. And whatever else is in my life because of you, the happiness is there because of you as well. I don't regret it.

I don't mind stumbling around trying to find balance, though I would prefer not to do it alone, because I finally have something to balance."

Sareyna nodded, "Speaking of Nathaniel."

Morrigan shook her head, "He's being a fool. But it will either work itself out or not. Truly, I am not even sure myself what, if anything, I want from him." She gave a small laugh, "He can be infuriating sometimes. He seems so mature, so self assured at times and tis incredibly appealing, sexy. None of the other men here have that quiet confidence he has." She sighed, "But other times he seems naïve or childish. He does not understand your dislike of the Templars, or mine.

And like any other man when he doesn't get his way, when you don't immediately agree he pouts. I want to smack him when he gets like that. There are still things he's fascinated by and I have to remember how much older I am than he is, and how he was probably pretty sheltered as a noble."

Sareyna laughed, "There's not that much of an age difference."

Morrigan gave her a smile, "Nearly a decade."

Sareyna scowled, "I never really thought about it."

"Yes, yes it is the privilege of the young not to have to think about age."

Sareyna snorted, "Let's get back, I think we have enough wood for now."

Morrigan nodded and followed her back, they chatted amicably about men and other nonsensical things on the way, Sareyna feeling more settled and less guilty about her distance from Morrigan even if she still felt a little unsettled by all that had passed between them since the night Morrigan had left them all to face the Archdemon.

* * *

Alistair sat by the tent polishing his armor and watching Sareyna and Zevran. They sat on the ground talking in hushed tones with Anders and laughing. He envied the two of them. They had seemed to adjust to the change in their lives with barely a ripple. Zevran touched 'Reyna's hair or kissed her on the cheek and whispered in her ear and Alistair struggled not to get angry.

He had invited Zevran into their bed, into their relationship but he had been having second thoughts. When he had thought about it, he had only thought about his relationship with Zevran and had given barely a thought to how they would be together. But watching the easy affection between them unsettled Alistair.

No, Alistair hadn't thought things through well at all. The first night had been wonderful, but ever since it became more and more clear that Alistair hadn't come nearly as far as he had hoped. Kissing Zevran was nice, it felt good, he even liked touching him. His skin was always just a tad too hot and he smelled like leather and some kind of spice.

But Alistair couldn't bring himself to do much more than touch. He couldn't imagine his mouth on the other man's sex and even the idea of sex with Zevran made Alistair feel strange. And when it came to Sareyna, Alistair hadn't really let Zevran touch her at all other than the small affections at the fire.

The idea of Zevran making love to Sareyna, to his wife, made Alistair nauseous. He had made up his mind a dozen times to call the whole thing off, but at the last minute he could never bring himself to say the words. And Zevran seemed to expect nothing, he let Alistair set the pace and decide what he was comfortable with.

His gaze flicked to Anders. His brother, whose life he had disrupted because of Antivan brandy and curiosity. Alistair had already hurt Anders and now he was likely to hurt Zevran as well. Alistair closed his eyes, he loved Zevran, he had come to accept that. He was even alright with finding Zevran attractive, so why was the rest of it so difficult for him?

Zevran was clearly getting frustrated, though he never said a word. But last night Alistair had lain awake throughout the night waiting for the slightest sound of Zevran. The elf had never joined him and Sareyna in their tent, even though the three of them had been sharing it since leaving the Keep. And Alistair's heart ached, wondering where the assassin had been, for no other tents were erected in the morning and no one gave any hint that he had been with them.

Alistair's heart sped up in his chest as he made a decision; he had to at least try. If he didn't like it afterwards that was fine, he didn't need to do it again, but he had to at least try, part of him ached to be with Zevran to not just love him, but to make love to him. It was just that the other voice, the fear often spoke louder.

He stood up abruptly and walked to the fire; he knelt next to Zevran and caught his chin. Zevran looked to him curiously with a little smile. Alistair bent and kissed him, a small rumble of pleasure coming from his chest at the taste of cinnamon on Zevran's breath. Alistair heard Anders moving away and felt a little pang of guilt, but he would deal with that later.

He broke free from the kiss and whispered in Zevran's ear. "Show me how to pleasure you tonight."

Zevran's eyes drifted closed and a small tremor ran through his body, "Tesoro," he whispered.

Alistair stood and took Zevran's hand, "Now, before I lose my nerve."

Zevran stood, dragging Sareyna with him. He pulled both her and Alistair towards their tent. Alistair fought down the wave of fear and embraced the anticipation that was flickering to life inside of him.

* * *

Morrigan sat near her tent almost completely surrounded in shadow. She watched the trio with a faint look of disgust. Not so much for the scene she was watching but for herself. Angry and hurting from her fight with Nathaniel and frustrated that neither of them was willing to compromise she had felt lonely.

Zevran had seemed sad, it was more than sad really, he had looked heartbroken sitting on a rotting log in the forest, his arms folded across his knees and his head buried between his arms. Morrigan had almost turned around and left him there, but he had heard her and raised his head with a sad smile. Nothing like the smiles the elf usually tossed about.

It lasted for just a moment and then he was leering at her, but she had seen it and it spoke to the pain she had been feeling for days. She had felt tentative and almost shy, but easily hid it in her confident tone. "Would you like to talk, elf?"

Zevran snorted and raised a brow, "Who could refuse an offer as sweet as that one, especially when it is given by a woman as beautiful as you, Morrigan?" His words were sweet, but their tone was bitter.

Morrigan gritted her teeth and turned to leave when she felt Zevran's hand on her arm. "Wait, I apologize. I am of a foul temper and did not mean to direct it at you."

"Lover's quarrel?" She asked, trying not to sound snide.

"Hardly."

"Then what?"

Zevran laughed and sat back down, "Hardly is the problem, hardly lovers and hardly a quarrel." He gave her a rueful smile, "Do not mind me, I'm just frustrated."

"Do you not have your choice of lovers; I mean you've slept with most of the camp at least once already."

Zevran shook his head, "I would not do that to Anders again. I maybe callous, but I am not cruel. And Sigrun seems rather taken with Anders currently." He gave a little laugh. "And as for those who should be my lovers, Alistair is afraid of me and does not allow me to touch Sareyna." A small sigh escaped him. "Perhaps I should have spent more time with you during the Blight."

"And why is that?"

"Are you not the one who tried to warn Sareyna that love was a trap?"

Morrigan gave a small nod. "I do not think it would have done you any good. I don't seem to be able to follow my own advice."

"I want to roam the wild places tonight, keep me company?"

"Wander about the woods in the dark like fools?"

Zevran shook his head and gave her a feral smile, "No, stalk them like the predators we are."

And Morrigan could almost feel the forest pulling at her, pulling at the places Marethari had revealed to her. It was a rich and loamy feeling, an ache in her soul. She stretched slowly, feeling a light thrum though her whole body as she let a little magic unfurl.

She nodded to Zevran and let her hair down; she didn't miss it when Zevran's breath caught for a moment. Morrigan took a hesitant step away when he reached up to touch her unbound hair. "You look so different." He canted his head and gave her a slow smile that made her skin flush. "You're gorgeous in the moonlight, Morrigan."

She gave him a quick flash of a smile in return, "Maybe what you need is a good run, maybe it will set your mind to rights, since you have clearly lost yours." With that she took off with a start.

She heard Zevran's laughter ring out behind her as he gave chase. But she was already pushing, her mind feeling around her as her leather clad feet struck the earth in rapid succession. It felt good, just dashing through the forest, startling the odd animal every now and then. But mostly to just let loose, just forget everything and give herself over to that place inside of her that lived in the Wilds.

Zevran had been beside her every step of the way as they raced through the woods, reveling in the wild sense of freedom it gave them. Both ran until they could no longer carry themselves at such speed and for a little while they had outrun the anger and frustration, had left behind the sadness and heartache.

Morrigan had felt light, unburdened and she had acted like an impulsive youth when they finally stopped. She looked back now, frustrated with herself but also thankful. Zevran had given her at least a few moments without the thought of Flemeth hanging over her. As she watched him slip inside the tent with Sareyna and Alistair she even managed to wish him luck.

* * *

Justice sat still and silent as he often did. He watched the mortals and wondered at them. The Wardens seemed a lusty bunch. It made Justice's head ache thinking about how they swapped partners back and forth. The elf seemed particularly adept at this, though the mage was not far behind.

Justice had faint memories of Aura, her smile, her hair in the sunlight and he missed her. He knew it made no sense; she was not his wife, but Kristoff's. The feeling of loss, of missing her persisted though. Justice resolved to go see her once they had returned from the mines; perhaps it would ease the longing he felt.

Kristoff and Aura had been lovers, but from Kristoff's memories they had only been with each other for most of their lives, though there was one other girl, a faint memory of Kristoff's but there was none of the feeling associated with that woman that there was with Aura.

Justice was still learning to navigate the mortal realm of emotions. There were emotions in the Fade but they did not carry the range that mortal emotions did. Justice understood that what Kristoff and Aura shared was love. But what the Commander and the Lieutenant had was apparently also love. Watching them it seemed much more intense than the love between Kristoff and Aura, though Kristoff loved Aura deeply.

The range of anger he had witnessed in his companions shook Justice, he had no idea anger had so many colors, so many variations. Beyond even the anger though was the pain, the sadness. Justice thought that perhaps he had seen as many different types of sadness in his companions as there were stars in the sky.

Though he was not often given to hyperbole, he felt in this case it was justified. Even Kristoff's life had been colored in shades of sadness. And Justice had a terrible secret that shook him right to his core, frightened him in a way nothing he could imagine ever had.

Their pain was beautiful to him. They seemed more real, more alive in their pain than in any other way he saw them. Their sadness almost sang to him like the lyrium of this world did. Yet he had never heard of either a demon or spirit of sadness, it seemed such a powerful emotion that Justice did not truly understand it.

He understood little about the mortal realm, though he was learning more each day. And what he had learned worried him because the more he learned the more he wished to stay. There were injustices in the mortal realm that a spirit could not even fathom in the Fade.

The Darkspawn were a known horror and a great injustice, but as the Lieutenant had pointed out to him their complete eradication seemed an impossibility. There was no end in sight with the Darkspawn and most of the time they were but a minor threat to most of Thedas, but there were other injustices that haunted Justice's mind as of late.

He heard the talk around the Keep about the Templars and was appalled. Nathaniel had told him that slavery was not allowed in Ferelden, but to Justice it seemed that the mages were slaves. Nathaniel tried to explain that it wasn't the same, but his argument was not very convincing.

The life of elves in Thedas was also an injustice. He had read of them and they had once been a proud and powerful people who were brought low by another race's greed for power. Even all these centuries later they were still suffering, treated as lesser beings. Yet, Justice could see no difference between the elves and the humans he knew at the Keep.

Justice would do as Alistair had mentioned, he would fight the Darkspawn until they were no longer a threat in Amaranthine but he was beginning to think that perhaps when that was done he would find another cause to champion. There was much good a spirit of justice could do in the mortal realm.

He glanced down at his decaying body briefly; he knew not how long he could reside in the corpse he was now in. Skeletons were known to be controlled by demons, but Justice wondered how effective he could be in his quest for justice as a skeleton. But the other alternatives seemed no better.

Justice did not want to upset another person by inhabiting yet another corpse when this one wore out, it seemed a desecration. But he was no demon; he had no desire to possess a living being. Overriding a person's will was wrong. Nathaniel had been making him wonder lately though.

He had suggested that if Justice could find a willing host and lent himself to aid the host instead of taking over it might not be considered wrong. The idea intrigued Justice even as the impossibility of it lingered. No mortal would wish to be possessed by a spirit; they would be called an abomination and be killed by the Templars.

It would be better to spend his time trying to find a way to get back to the Fade once he no longer wished to inhabit the corpse he was in. There needed to be a way to get back, so why hadn't he been looking? Justice looked across the fire to where the mage, Anders, was sitting. Perhaps he should speak to the mage.

Though Anders talked too much and his attempts at humor were mostly painful, he seemed more amenable than the witch, Morrigan. Justice thought it more likely that Anders would help him, but he would wait until the Commander and the elf were better. Anders was too distracted to be much help while they still suffered from their odd affliction.


	27. Chapter 27

**Conflagration**

Once the three of them were inside the tent, Zevran started to remove Alistair's armor. Alistair swallowed hard, his heart still pounding and fear lending an acidic taste to his mouth. He had no idea why this was so hard.

While Zevran undressed Alistair, Sareyna was undressing Zevran. Alistair's stomach knotted when Zevran paused to turn to Sareyna and pulled her close, his lips finding hers. Alistair was caught between arousal at seeing them kissing and anger. He tried to shove away the anger and concentrated on how Sareyna fit her body against Zevran's and moaned quietly as the elf explored her mouth.

Alistair shifted and started removing 'Reyna's armor. He suddenly wanted to see her body very badly. She moved a little away from Zevran as Alistair worked on the buckles of her armor affording Alistair better access but she and Zevran did not break off their heated kiss.

It seemed only moments before all three of them stood in the tent naked and breathless. Zevran led Alistair to his bedroll and encouraged the warrior to lie down and relax. Alistair lay down as requested and watched Zevran and 'Reyna, nerves jumping along his skin.

Zevran straddled Alistair's hips trapping Alistair's erection between their bodies. He trailed his fingers over Alistair's chest and down his abdomen. Alistair's eyes watched him closely taking in his tattooed arms and his body's sinuous movements.

'Reyna straddled Alistair's legs, settling herself behind Zevran. She bent her head to kiss Zev's neck and let her arms slip around him, one hand caressing his chest and the other the flat planes of his abdomen. Alistair again felt the twin flares of arousal and anger in his gut.

Zevran leaned forward and kissed Alistair's neck, nuzzling against the warrior with small noises of pleasure. And Alistair struggled to relax into the touches. He felt Sareyna move, her weight gone from his legs and then she was leaning over Zevran and capturing Alistair's lips in a deep kiss.

Alistair closed his eyes and let himself fall into the kiss; it was gentle as a caress. He felt hands moving over his prone body and at first he tried to determine who it was that was touching him where, but as Sareyna deepened the kiss adding more urgency, kissing him a little harder, he just enjoyed the feelings the hands were creating.

They touched and caressed him all over, every inch of his torso, anywhere his thighs were exposed, his face, his neck. Alistair was swimming in sensation, his skin was electrified. Zevran shifted backwards a bit and lifted his hips, Alistair felt Sareyna move off to the side with a little giggle.

Zevran took over the kiss as he wrapped his hand around Alistair's straining erection. Alistair sighed in relief, not realizing how badly he had wanted to be touched in the one place they had left alone. Alistair's eyes fluttered open when Zevran pulled out of the kiss arching his back and moaning.

Alistair looked over Zev's shoulder to see Sareyna behind Zevran, one hand on his lower back and the other behind him. Alistair felt himself flush when a drop of warm liquid landed on his thigh, Sareyna was preparing Zevran with oil. Suddenly, Alistair felt panic again, he couldn't do this, the muscles in his thighs tightened and he shifted under Zevran.

"Wait." He croaked out.

Zevran's eyes opened and he stopped moving. He took a deep breath and started to move off of Alistair. It was easy for Alistair to see the hurt and a flare of anger in Zevran's eyes. Sareyna pushed Zevran down so he lay flat against Alistair.

"Enough Alistair, stop teasing the poor man."

"I don't mean to, this is much harder than I thought it would be." He turned away from Zevran's amber gaze.

Zevran's eyes widened a little and his breath caught as Sareyna shifted again. Alistair watched Sareyna move and realized that Sareyna was stretching Zevran again. Zevran's lids drowsed as his face became etched with pleasure. A little moan escaped his lips and Alistair found himself entranced watching him respond to Sareyna's touches.

Alistair watched the strange tableau with a lump in his throat. Sareyna expected him to carry through but he wasn't sure he could. When Zevran moaned again he felt his cock twitch against Zev's stomach. Zevran gave him a small smile and Alistair struggled to return it.

Zevran shifted again and Alistair felt his wife's oiled hand grasp his erection. He closed his eyes as her slippery fingers glided up and down his length. He almost whimpered in disappointment when she let him go. She leaned over Zevran and whispered in his ear and though Alistair strained to hear her, he could make out nothing.

Sareyna was moving again. She took Alistair's arms and bent them up next to his head. She straddled his head facing Zevran and her legs rested across both Alistair's upper and lower arms effectively pinning him. As she lowered her sex towards his mouth Alistair felt his cock twitch again.

His tongue greedily sought out the taste of his wife. He opened his eyes in surprise when his tongue touched another tongue. Zevran was also licking at Sareyna's sex. Alistair shifted a little again, his mind confused but his body aroused. Alistair slid his tongue into his wife stroking in and out of her before he moved a little and kissed Zevran, letting him taste Sareyna on his tongue.

Zevran's hips ground against Alistair, rubbing their erections together. Alistair's breath caught at the feeling, Zevran's skin was soft as silk as it rubbed against him, his too hot flesh teasing Alistair. Alistair lifted his hips trying to create the whisper of friction again. Zev moved his hips again eliciting a moan from Alistair and this time it was Zev who slipped his tongue into Sareyna's sex before dipping to kiss Alistair with her taste on his lips and tongue.

Alistair's hands clenched and unclenched, he wanted to touch her or Zev but Sareyna wouldn't move, kept him pinned while they slowly drove him insane. Zevran slipped two fingers into Sareyna's sex slowly stroking them in and out of her as he slid his cock along Alistair's. Alistair moaned and lifted his head to lick the back of Zevran's fingers.

After a few moments Zevran slipped his fingers free and pushed them into Alistair's mouth, Alistair closed his eyes and relished the taste of her and the softer texture of Zev's fingers. As Alistair greedily licked them Zevran moved, grabbing Alistair's erection. Alistair let out a soft sigh and lifted his hips into Zevran's touch as he continued to suck on Zevran's fingers.

Alistair's eyes flew open and he groaned as Zevran started slowly lowering himself onto Alistair. Zevran moved his fingers from Alistair's mouth slipping them back inside of Sareyna as Alistair felt Zev stretch around him. Alistair realized he was holding his breath and let it out in a slow exhale.

Zevran's body broke out with a thin sheen of sweat as he continued his slow descent. He paused a few times, shifting his body, perhaps trying to find a more comfortable angle before continuing again. He kept his fingers moving inside of Sareyna who was moaning, pushing back against his hand at this point.

As his hips finally settled flush against Alistair's he let out a long sigh and pushed his fingers back into Alistair's mouth. "Maker Alistair." He whispered as Alistair sucked at his fingers and struggled to keep his hips still.

When Zevran slipped his fingers free Alistair moaned, "You're so tight."

Zevran chuckled and Alistair closed his eyes as Zevran's body squeezed around him lightly. "I think anyone would feel tight to you, Tesoro." He paused and stroked Alistair's cheek, "Are you alright?"

Alistair gave a small nod, Sareyna's body preventing him from doing much else. "Let my arms go, 'Reyna. I'm alright."

Sareyna moved off his arms and started to stand up. Alistair grabbed her arm, "Don't go."

She looked at him, "Are you sure?"

Alistair grinned, "I want to taste you." He tugged her down a bit.

Sareyna moved straddling his head again and this time Alistair pulled her down and buried his face between her thighs, moaning as his tongue slipped inside of her again. Alistair's whole body jerked and he cried out when Zevran began moving.

It felt incredible, all that heat wrapped so tight around him and the taste of Sareyna filling his mouth. Alistair couldn't believe he had been scared, worried about this, Maker it was absolutely divine. His hands were on Sareyna's hips as he held her in place so he could lick, suck and taste every inch of her sex.

Her scent filled his senses as she became wetter. Alistair licked at her hungrily, moaning each time Zevran's body enveloped him again. Alistair was astonished with the speed with which Sareyna's body was responding, her thighs were shaking and her moans were coming faster and faster.

He felt Sareyna and Zevran both shift over him and Sareyna's cries became muffled. Alistair figured they must be kissing and closed his eyes trying to imagine what the three of them looked like. Suddenly, Sareyna's cries became louder again.

"Oh, yes, ah yes, Alistair." And then there was a long drawn out cry as she came, a small flood of fluid rushed over Alistair's tongue and Alistair moaned in response, hungrily licking her clean. After a few more moments Sareyna moved off him and Alistair watched her as she moved off to their side before flicking his gaze back to Zevran. For the first time he had a clear view of Zev riding him.

The muscles in Zevran's thighs and abdomen rippled with each movement and his tattoos almost seemed to be dancing along them. Whoever had tattooed Zevran had known what he was doing, every time Alistair thought that Zevran could not look any more beautiful, any more like a work of art he saw something even more amazing.

Sareyna moved again, her body twisting above Alistair's abdomen and his view of Zevran's body was partially blocked again as her now loosened hair fell in a curtain over Alistair's stomach. He felt Zevran slow and then stop as she moved. Zevran's eyes squeezed shut and he threaded a hand into Sareyna's hair.

"Querida," he said breathlessly as he slowly started to move again his hips moving not only up and down now but also back and forth.

Alistair trailed his fingers over Sareyna's dark skin, surprised to find he was not jealous. She laid half over him her mouth on Zevran's cock and all Alistair could think about was how good it felt and how beautiful the two of them looked. Zevran's back arched, head tilted back, golden hair flowing loosely down his back as his tattoos danced in a sexy glide over his muscles and the coppery skin of Sareyna's back bare for Alistair to see, to touch, as her raven colored hair cascaded across his abdomen.

The howling wolves on her shoulder drew his attention and his traced his finger over their outlines. _"We'll have to add a third_." He thought dazedly. Sareyna shifted and Alistair shuddered as the wet sucking sounds reached his ears. He may have Grey Warden stamina but it had no effect whatsoever on his mental overstimulation.

The feel of Zevran riding him, the sight of Sareyna sucking on Zevran and the sound of her mouth, Zev's sighs of pleasure overwhelmed Alistair and with a sharp cry he spilled himself inside of Zevran. Zevran stopped moving up and down; instead he twined his other hand into Sareyna's hair and started sliding in and out of her mouth faster with moans tumbling from his lips with each thrust.

Sareyna wrapped her hands around Zevran's hips, urging him deeper and Alistair watched in awe as Zevran's back arched even further and his hips snapped forward. His fingers tightened in Sareyna's hair and she moaned around him for a moment before Zevran cried out with an orgasm of his own.

Sareyna pulled away from Zevran when he had finished and wiped her mouth on the back of her arm before giving Zevran a smile. She lay down next to Alistair snuggling against him and watching Zev. Zevran seemed in a daze for a moment just sitting there with a grin before he started to move off of Alistair.

Alistair laid a hand on Zev's thigh stilling him. "Stay, just for a moment. I like seeing you like this."

Zevran gave him a small smile, "Out of it?"

Alistair shook his head, "Flushed, satiated and sitting on my cock."

Zevran's body jerked a little bit at Alistair's words and Alistair couldn't help but smile. Seemed Zevran liked Alistair's filthy mouth as much as Sareyna did. Alistair lifted his hips a little feeling Zevran's weight on them, it felt good. He reached down his hand and stroked Zev's still semi erect cock.

"'Reyna, get something to bind his hands."

Zevran raised a brow, but didn't protest. Sareyna moved and pulled a length of rope from her pack and moved around behind Zevran and bound his hands tightly behind him before moving the rope upwards and securing his elbows together too.

Alistair looked surprised but just kept slowly stroking Zevran's erection. Sareyna moved up close behind Zevran pinning his arms and wrapped a hand around his waist to cradle his scrotum. Zevran let out a little gasp as she began massaging him in time with Alistair's stokes.

She licked Zevran's ear lobe and nibbled on the pointed tip. Zevran growled and moaned as she lavished it with attention. Carefully, Sareyna pushed Zevran forward a little so he was leaning over Alistair a bit. Her free hand trailed slowly down his back and caressed his ass gently, her lips and tongue still teasing his ear and her other hand still massaging his testicles.

Alistair reached up, his rough calloused fingers finding Zev's nipples. He toyed with them lightly listening to Zevran's moans and curses as he and Sareyna fondled and caressed him.

* * *

Sareyna's fingers slid between the cheeks of Zevran's ass and tentatively stroked around where Zevran and Alistair were still joined.

Alistair moaned, his hips pushing up a little, almost unsettling Zevran from his precarious position. Alistair caught Zevran and gave him a small smile before he moved to lick Zevran's now sensitive nipple. Sareyna's fingers moved, feather light traces over Alistair's scrotum, up to the base of his cock and teasing along Zevran's entrance.

"Querida," Zevran's voice was a plea thick with desire.

"Shh," she whispered kissing his ear again, "I'm not done teasing you yet."

Zev's swallow was audible in the tent and Alistair smirked, Zevran was sweating and panting between the two of them. Zev's hips started moving, working up and down Alistair's length as Alistair continued his slow gentle assault on Zevran's cock.

"Stop moving Zevran, or I'll leave you like this."

Zevran trembled at Sareyna's words and a small whimper escaped him.

"Why are you making him stop, that felt good."

Sareyna shot Alistair a smile over Zevran's shoulder. "Alright, just give me a minute." She got up and went to her pack again, she came back with a thin leather thong and secured it tightly around the base of Zevran's cock and around his scrotum. Zevran grunted as she tightened it into place. She moved back behind him and pulled his sex up tight against his abdomen.

She moved Zevran so he was sitting upright and leaning a bit against her, "Move up, Zev."

Zevran pushed up off Alistair a bit and Alistair moaned, "Wow."

Sareyna whispered in Zevran's ear, "I think he likes seeing himself stretch you so wide."

Alistair swallowed, "I do."

"Ride him slowly, Zev."

Zevran began moving slowly, his eyes on Alistair's face while Alistair's eyes were fixed between Zevran's legs where Alistair's cock was disappearing slowly inside of Zevran's ass.

* * *

Zevran felt Sareyna's thumb swirl around the head of his erection and her lips turned their attention to his other ear. The fingers of her other hand moved back to caressing him and Alistair where Alistair was sliding into him.

Alistair's fingers were tracing over Zevran's tattoos. Zevran struggled to touch Sareyna with his bound hands. Alistair suddenly groaned, "Enough."

Sareyna and Zevran both froze looking anxiously at Alistair.

"What? Get off me, both of you."

They both moved off him, Sareyna helping Zevran. Alistair sat up and pulled Sareyna face down across his lap. He took the oil she had used on Zevran and poured some down the crevice and slowly started massaging it in. His fingers worked to open her up slowly and Zevran sat achingly hard and mesmerized by the way Sareyna wriggled on Alistair's lap as he worked.

He let Sareyna go and looked to Zevran, "Lay down on your back."

Zevran did so quickly and was rewarded when Sareyna crawled over to him. She took him into her mouth for a moment before Alistair pushed her a little, making her release him and crawl up Zevran's body further.

Zevran felt Alistair's strong hand grab his erection and then he was between Sareyna's thighs, head brushing against her wetness. His eyes fluttered shut as she began to slide down his length taking him in inch by inch. He had wanted this, wanted her for so long he nearly wept.

He was frustrated that he couldn't touch her other than where he could reach her with his mouth. But she wasted no time starting to ride him. "Zevran." His name was a half moaned whisper from her lips and the sound was a sweet balm for the ache in Zevran's heart.

Alistair pushed her down so she was laying flat against Zev's chest, then he was spreading both of their legs further apart as he moved forward. Sareyna groaned and grunted as Alistair started pushing himself inside of her ass.

"Oh," she squeaked as Alistair started filling her. She writhed between them, "Too much." She muttered shifting again. "Too much."

Zevran heard Alistair's voice from behind her, "You better get used to it, you're going to be spending a lot of time like this in the future, 'Reyna."

Sareyna couldn't move much sandwiched between the two men and impaled on them both. Zevran watched the play of pain and pleasure dance over her face as she struggled to take them both. "Querida, relax, we won't hurt you, I promise." He leaned and kissed her cheek. "I love you."

Alistair brushed kisses across her back lightly. "I can stop if you want."

Sareyna shook her head no and dropped her head to Zevran's shoulder. Alistair pushed forward again slowly until he was fully seated inside of her. Sareyna shuddered, her voice barely a whisper, "So full. Maker, you're going to tear me in two."

* * *

Alistair kissed her shoulder and started slowly moving. He paused again a few minutes later when he heard Sareyna quietly weeping. "'Reyna?" His voice was shaking, he was afraid he had pushed her too far.

"I'm alright, Ali. It just…feels."

Zevran gave a quiet chuckle, "Our lady is a little overwhelmed it seems."

"She's okay?"

"I would not let you hurt her, Tesoro. I promise you."

Alistair began to move again slowly, kissing Sareyna's neck and shoulders and whispering to her how much he loved her. He took her gently; surprised when her first orgasm shook her whole body and a hot rush of fluid came from her like the day at his desk. It was followed quickly by several more.

Alistair wrapped a hand around her waist and slowly pulled her off of Zevran. "Untie him, love."

Sareyna, shaking in Alistair's arms, first removed the leather from Zevran's sex before helping him to sit up and removing the rope from his wrists and elbows. Zevran stretched out his arms briefly before he grabbed her and pulled her into a kiss. His hands skimmed over her body until Alistair pushed Zevran and Sareyna both gently to get them to lie back down.

This time Zevran guided himself into her sex before Alistair again moved to fill her backside. Sareyna moved between the two of them until she came again and she lay collapsed and sweating on top of Zevran. Both men kissed and caressed her as they made love to her gently.

* * *

It seemed an eon before they both finished and Sareyna was turned onto her side between them. She was dazed and barely coherent as they whispered their words of love to her. Sareyna slipped into oblivion feeling worn and sated and surrounded by love.

* * *

Zevran looked to Alistair and saw the man had tears in his eyes. "Tesoro?"

Alistair gave him a small smile. "I'm afraid to fall asleep." He took a deep breath and laid his head on his stretched out arm. "When I was growing up all I could think about was all the things I didn't have. I thought I was being punished for my father's indiscretion. And the need for someone to love me was overwhelming. And now that I have it in spades, I'm afraid I'll lose it all."

"We're not going anywhere, Tesoro."

Alistair propped his head up on his hand and looked at Zevran. "I hope not. I don't know what I would do without the two of you." Alistair was quiet for a moment, then licked his lips nervously, "Do you love him?"

Zevran closed his eyes briefly, he could play dumb and pretend he didn't know what Alistair was talking about, but in truth he had been waiting for it. "I do, but not in the way he needs. I almost wish I did, he barely speaks to me now. I hurt him badly."

Alistair nodded, "We all did. He's not talking to me much these days either. I hope he can forgive us."

Zevran watched Sareyna sleeping, "I envy her. There was barely a ripple between the two of them."

Alistair shook his head, "You don't want to be her."

Zevran furrowed his brow, "No?"

"Do you ever wonder how she makes this all work? How she gets along with all of us?"

Zevran was silent as he waited.

"We all get pieces."

"Pieces?"

Alistair nodded and rolled onto his back keeping his voice quiet. "I get her compassion, you get her desires, Nathaniel gets her practicality, Sigrun gets her twisted sense of humor, Oghren gets her childishness, Justice her morality, Morrigan gets her sisterhood and Anders gets her darkness."

"But why?"

"Because she doesn't want to disappoint us, she feels like she needs to hold us together and this how she does it."

Zevran was quiet, was Sareyna really treating them all differently, letting them see different sides of her? He brushed a kiss across her brow and closed his eyes. "We'll be fine Tesoro, get some sleep."


	28. Chapter 28

**Digging For Answers**

Alistair woke in the night, his heart racing. He stayed still not wanting to wake 'Reyna or Zev. He felt an odd fluttering in his stomach. He took a slow breath trying to still his heart. He knew all too well what that odd fluttering was, guilt.

Guilt over what he wasn't quite sure. Was it because he had shared his wife with another man? The idea didn't bother him all that much in retrospect. But when he thought about Zevran the fluttering increased. He sighed and rolled on his side, he had thought he was past all this. He had enjoyed being with Zevran, _really_ enjoyed being with Zevran.

So why this guilt? Why, after it was all said and done, after he had already accepted it, was he feeling guilty now? His stomach roiled, he exhaled slowly and closed his eyes. _"No, I love them both and I'm not going to feel bad about who I love."_ The thought helped settle his stomach a little, it was better than nothing.

He looked over at Sareyna curled on her side between him and Zevran, a small contented smile on her lips even in sleep. Zevran lay on his side behind her, his hand draped over her hip, not quite possessively. As he lay there watching her Sareyna shifted and she reached to touch him, her fingers resting gently on his chest.

He chuckled quietly to himself; she never seemed to be able to sleep without touching him. He had always found it cute, but tonight he was just grateful, it calmed his stomach. He folded her hand into his own, curled against his chest and closed his eyes willing himself back to sleep.

* * *

The mines were oddly quiet when they reached them and Sareyna was worried that Renault might not even be there. But when they reached his office he was sitting in the chair, reading and taking notes. A single torch lit the room.

He looked up as they came in, "You are early."

"There have been problems. You need to get whatever it is you put in us out, now."

He scowled as he stood, "I do not understand."

"Get it out, now."

"What is happening? The shards, they should not hurt you, I was trying to help."

Anders spoke up behind her, "Help? You've nearly killed them."

Renault shook his head, "No, your blood, it sings louder than Warden's blood." He turned to Zevran, "Especially yours, it brings the Darkspawn to you. I was trying to counteract it, trying to make them stay away."

Sareyna scowled, "Why?"

"Because you are of no use to me dead."

"You nearly killed Zevran." Anders snapped, "You bled him nearly to death."

"Yes, I was perhaps a little overzealous with him, but I was helping him get better. I did not let him die."

Sareyna shook her head, "I don't care, the dreams are killing us. I want it out, whatever it is."

Renault shook his head, "I have been over and over my notes, there should be no dreams."

"The dreams are coming from somewhere else, someone using whatever is inside of us to send them to us and they are dangerous." Sareyna took a deep breath Alistair had explained to her everything Renault was trying to do and she wanted to see if there was a way they could work together. "Please, if we do not get rid of these dreams Zevran and I will likely not survive another one."

Renault gave a stiff nod. He turned to Anders, "You are their healer?"

"Yes."

"I should like your assistance then."

Anders stepped forward, "What would you have of me."

"The back of his neck, I need you to find the shard." He gestured to Zevran.

"You don't know where it is?" Anders' voice was angry.

"I know where it is on a drawing, but it would require less cutting if you can pinpoint it exactly."

Anders scowled but let his magic flow around Zevran's neck. After a couple of minutes he made a face, the magic stopped and he reached around behind Zevran and ran his fingertips along the back of Zevran's neck and up to the back of Zevran's head. Right where Zevran's neck met the base of his head on the left side he pressed down a little.

He pulled away and made another face. "I think I've found it."

Renault nodded and stepped forward, his long claw like finger replacing Anders'. He took a small sharp blade and made a small incision. With small tweezers he pulled out a small shard of what looked like obsidian. It was smaller than a seed.

"What is that?" Anders asked.

"A bit of magic, to block the song in their blood." He looked at Anders, "I used Warden blood to make them. It should not have hurt them."

"You used blood magic on them?" Anders was turning scarlet; Sareyna put a hand on his arm trying to calm him some.

"Not exactly, I used Warden blood as an ingredient, really it is not terribly different from the Joining. I just made it solid and self contained so their bodies did not flush it out. I was hoping something similar would work on the Old Gods, but…" He was quiet for a moment, "I would need someone who could not corrupt them by their mere presence to put it into place, and of course it would need to be much larger."

Alistair took a small step forward, "How close are you to getting this to work?"

Renault shook his head, "I believe I might be ready, save for the fact that I need more Warden blood to make it big enough."

Sareyna shook her head, "I don't care. Just get this out of me."

Anders and Renault both silently worked on Sareyna and removed the seed sized shard from her as well. Sareyna rubbed her neck after Anders had healed it and she looked relieved. "I can't wait to go to sleep." She joked lightly.

"'Reyna?"

Sareyna turned to Morrigan.

"It might not be as simple as that, according to Anders' notes Zevran's first dream happened before you even got to the mines."

"What?" She was quiet for a second before she turned to Renault, "Did you do something to him before we came down here?"

Renault shook his head, "No, but the others, those who have not yet been awakened, felt him for miles before you reached us. He is different than the rest of you. They were drawn to him; even the corrupted humans here were drawn to him."

Zevran chuckled, "Seems even the Darkspawn cannot resist my charm."

"This isn't funny Zevran." She sat heavily on the edge of Renault's desk; closing her eyes she cradled her head in her hands. The room was very still and quiet. "What was it Trelain said, Zev? Something about her using the magic inside us as a link?"

Zevran nodded, "Yes."

Anders furrowed his brow, "Maybe it wasn't just the shard? I mean, with Zevran how he became a Warden is different from the rest of us. The Archdemon has magic, we all know that. Maybe she found that first?"

"So how do we stop it?" Sareyna was looking at Anders, almost pleading.

"I just don't know, I'm sorry."

"I believe I may be able to help with the research I have already done." Renault's voice was quiet but he sounded hopeful.

Sareyna glared at him, but before she opened her mouth Anders' spoke, "What choice do we have? If we don't find something she could kill Zevran next time."

"Who is this she of whom you speak?"

Sareyna shook her head, "Not now. Morrigan and Anders will go over your research and if they think there is something you can do to help, they will come tell us and we will decide what to do from there. I need to get out of here." She pushed to her feet and started moving swiftly towards the entrance.

* * *

"Dammit." Anders pushed back the few wisps of hair that had slid free from his ponytail. "We made it worse, putting them in the same room."

Morrigan lifted her head from the book she was reading through, "What?"

"Putting them close magnifies the effect."

Renault nodded, "Yes to counteract the blood reacting to the proximity."

"The blood?"

Renault shook his head, "You know so little about yourselves."

"No, Avernus told me about this, the Warden's react to each other when they're close. It's almost like a group mind, like the Darkspawn but nothing so overt. A subtle reaction, we move well in groups and can fight together without getting in each other's way, like we can feel each other without looking."

"I can't."

"You can, you just don't realize it. Think about it, we never get in each other's way when we're casting. And have you ever accidentally hit one of the others? You know who to turn to, who to help almost automatically?"

Anders scowled, "That's creepy Morrigan."

"No, it's efficient, groups of people learning to fight together without having to train for weeks, months or even years on end. Quite genius actually."

"You think it's on purpose?"

Morrigan scowled, "Definitely, you think the Wardens just discovered how to do the joining and left it at that for centuries? I think they've been learning about it and tailoring it for centuries. A lot of Wardens don't have the luxury of fighting with the same exact group of people every time. So this would be a perfect solution."

"It doesn't bother you?"

"What? We're soldiers with one purpose, Anders. If they can make us better at it why wouldn't they? I suppose if I didn't know about it before I joined I might be more upset, but honestly, would it have changed anything?"

Anders pursed his lips, "I wonder what else they altered."

"I have a few theories." Morrigan murmured as she turned back to her book.

"Like what?" Anders couldn't help sounding anxious.

"Not really the time or place Anders."

"Right," Anders sighed and started wading through Renault's copious notes again. It seemed the man/Darkspawn, whatever he was, had become obsessive about note keeping once he realized he was losing his memory, there were pages upon pages of worthless garbage, a whole page describing what a certain test subject looked like so he wouldn't continue his experiment with the wrong person and other such information completely useless to Anders, but every so often there was an important piece so Anders slogged through it all.

* * *

Anders stood up and stretched. He turned to Morrigan who was seated on the floor still flipping through pages. "I'll go tell her we're staying."

"She'll be thrilled." Morrigan didn't bother looking up.

"I know, but there's something here. I think with the three of us working on it we can figure it out quickly."

"I hope so." Morrigan sighed and closed the book. "I'll come with you, I need a break."

"Where did Renault go?"

Morrigan shook her head, "Said he had more notes and would be back."

Anders nodded briefly; he turned to the desk and grabbed a quill scratching out a quick note on some parchment before heading for the surface with Morrigan beside him. When they reached the surface Anders took a deep breath, "So much better than the stale air in the mine."

Sareyna had already spotted them and was making her way across the camp. She gave them a little wave. "How goes it?"

"His research can help us. I think we should stay."

Sareyna made a sour face before she turned to Morrigan, "Morri?"

Morrigan nodded, "He's right, we should stay."

"It'll help Zev?"

"Yes, I'm almost positive we can find a way to help him. We just need you to be patient for a little while, and we might need to borrow the two of you from time to time."

"To see if it works. Like experiments."

Anders nodded, "I'm sorry, but it's our best choice to protect him."

"Fine, I'll let the others know. Will you be staying down there?"

Anders cleared his throat, "We need to work down there, that's were all the things we need are, but I would rather not be down there otherwise."

"I'm glad. We're about to eat lunch, stay?"

"Absolutely." Anders smiled and headed towards the fire.

Sareyna watched Morrigan who was staring after Anders, "He's brilliant you know. You should read his notes; I struggle to understand them sometimes. The way his mind works." She chuckled and looked at Sareyna, "I think I might be jealous of him. It's hard to admit someone is smarter than you are."

Sareyna smiled, "At least he's on our side."

Morrigan nodded, "I'm going to see if I can get him to read Avernus' notes." She shook her head, "His life would have been wasted in the Circle. You did us all a favor by conscripting him."

Sareyna snorted, "Did I? Besides, I didn't think you cared for him much."

"It's his humor I don't care for, but he's different when he's working. I've never seen someone read so fast, you can see his mind working. He already has notes for a half dozen different experiments to try. We've only been down there for a few hours. Renault left to get more notes because Anders is almost done with all the ones he had gathered for us." She took a deep breath, "I think he takes after his mother."

"You don't think he takes after Maric?"

"He looks like him plenty, but I spoke with Maric a couple of times and the way he spoke of Fiona, it reminds me of Anders, including the quick wit, though hers was more biting apparently."

"Oh, he can be quite biting when he wants to."

"I have no doubt." Morrigan smirked, "He would have been bored of Zevran rather quickly."

"Zevran's not exactly stupid."

Morrigan shook her head, "I'm not sure a steady relationship is something the man could ever have. I practiced those spells with him last night after everyone had gone to bed. He has most of them mastered already. He makes me a bit sick."

Sareyna chuckled, "Doesn't seem to be anything he can't learn, magic, new fighting technique. He's like our own jack of all trades."

Morrigan nodded, "Everything but the one thing I think he wants most."

"Love?"

"Peace."

Anders lifted his head and turned to them, shouting a little, "Stop gossiping and come get something to eat."

Sareyna grabbed Morrigan's arm gently and started tugging her towards the fire. "Hurry; if he thinks we're talking about him he'll be unbearable all day. And you'll be stuck with him."


	29. Chapter 29

**Moments In The Chaos**

The tent was dimly illuminated by the light of a nearly full moon. Alistair watched his two lovers sleeping again as he had done nearly every night for almost a week. Each night he lie with the two of them, loving them with his body and his heart and as they slept he watched them cursing the guilt he felt. But each night the guilt was a little less, replaced with surety.

Perhaps he did not take to this new arrangement as readily as he had hoped, but he knew there was no way he could turn back now. It made his heart ache to think of his life without Zevran in it, every part of it. This life was not the one he imagined; a little house with a small garden, a wife, children laughing in the yard, and passing away in old age surrounded by his children and grandchildren, but this life suited him better. This life of violence and travel and two lovers was what he was really meant for.

Tonight as he watched them sleep he felt no guilt, only acceptance. He settled down snuggling closer to Sareyna. He draped his arm over her and onto Zevran's hip. Holding them both felt good, it felt natural. He felt a smile curve his lips, another child on the way another lover in his bed and a cure to the dreams on the way. He closed his eyes and let a contented sleep steal over him.

* * *

Alistair snatched the crystal from around Zevran's neck and tossed it across the room. "Enough." He snarled as he picked Zevran up and carried him from the room. It was the second time in as many days that they had managed to render the assassin unconscious with their experiments.

"Alistair, stop. We're close."

"Close to what, killing him?" Alistair growled at Morrigan as he continued to carry Zevran up the stairs. "No more, Morrigan. You're hurting him, I won't have it."

"You need to give us time."

"We've been here for a week. 'Reyna won't even come down here with him anymore because of what you've been putting him through. I'm not letting you three torture him anymore."

"You need to let him make that choice, Alistair."

Alistair paused and turned to look at Anders, "I don't want to hear anything from you. You have him and Sareyna both convinced that he'll die if he doesn't subject himself to this bullshit. But he was fine before we came to the Wending Woods; he was a Warden for months with no ill effects before we came here."

"Before she found him you mean. So what are you going to do? Hunt her down and kill her, hopefully before she can kill him? And you know damn well we're not torturing him." Anders glared back at Alistair. "Let me wake him so he can make his own decision."

Alistair held his gaze for a few moments before turning and heading back down the stairs. "I swear Anders, if you hurt him, you'll wish we had never met."

Anders gave him a curt nod as Alistair lay Zevran back down on the cot. He stepped away clenching his fists and feeling a muscle twitch rhythmically in his jaw. He felt the anger seeping from every pore. They needed to get out of this damn place, everyone was on edge and Zevran was looking a little more pale every day. It had to stop.

Sapphire magic flowed from Anders' fingers and twined around Zevran and he slowly began to wake up. Zevran blinked slowly a few times before sitting upright.

"So, not a success then."

"Yes and no. The Darkspawn in the other room weren't reacting to you, but you were also rendered unconscious." Anders spoke quietly. "Alistair wants us to stop."

Zevran looked to Alistair who was leaning against the wall his fists still clenched. Zev stood and crossed to Alistair, smoothing his fingers over his furrowed brow, he turned to Anders, "Can you two leave us?"

Morrigan turned to leave and after a moment's hesitation Anders followed her. Zevran turned back to Alistair who was still seething.

"Tesoro, maybe you should stay with 'Reyna."

Alistair shook his head, "Someone needs to watch out for you."

Zevran scowled, "You think that Anders would hurt me?"

Alistair sighed, "I don't know. Sometimes I think he wouldn't but then I remember how we hurt him."

Zevran's voice was suddenly very sharp, "Alistair. Anders would never hurt me on purpose. Stop this now, you are being ridiculous, he is a healer. How could you think that of him?"

Alistair rubbed his forehead and sighed, "I know, I just, the things they have been putting you through Zevran." He felt lost as he looked back to Zevran who was still scowling at him.

"Just stop it. He deserves better than that."

Alistair nodded, "You're right."

"I know I am, now go spend some time with 'Reyna."

"I'm staying."

"Didn't we just have this conversation?"

"I want to stay with you." Alistair couldn't voice why exactly, he just didn't want Zevran left alone to go through this.

Zevran looked suddenly weary, "Fine, then go bring them back and we will try something else."

* * *

Alistair slipped in the door quietly and crossed to where Anders was sitting at the desk scribbling away with charcoal on a piece of parchment. Alistair paused as he saw what was on it, "You make art too?"

Anders head jerked up in surprise, "Art? No, just sketches, doodles."

"That's Zevran."

Anders nodded, "Yeah, been working on it on and off the last couple of days. It helps with the boredom."

Morrigan crossed to them and looked over Anders' shoulder, "I had to threaten him so he wouldn't draw me."

"Where did you learn that?"

Anders shrugged, "The Circle I guess. I liked to sketch the plants we used in our herbalism class. Did you need something Alistair?"

Alistair cleared his throat, "Uh, yes. I wanted to apologize."

"Its fine, I understand, it's hard watching him go through this, but I am trying to help him Alistair. I think we've found the right combination now, we just need to adjust the size or possibly the proportions." Anders set the quill down and stood up. "I should get the crystal so we can work from it."

Alistair rested his hand on Anders' shoulder. "It's not alright. I was an ass, and I'm sorry. I know you wouldn't hurt Zevran." He turned to Morrigan, "Either of you."

Anders nodded and moved away from Alistair, leaving the room quietly. Alistair sighed and turned to Morrigan.

"I used to think I would get along better with him than any other Wardens. We have a lot in common, so why is it I can never seem to see eye to eye with him?"

Morrigan shrugged, "Because you're an ass."

"Right, why am I asking you? You can barely stand me either." Alistair sighed and turned towards the door, his own brother and sister couldn't stand him, wasn't family grand?

"Alistair, wait."

Alistair paused but didn't turn around, he felt a frission of tension shoot through his body and he stiffened a little, "What now, Morrigan?" He stiffened a little more when he felt her hand on his back.

"You made it sound like we were deliberately hurting Zevran. Being a healer is the most important thing to Anders. It's how he identifies himself, can't you see how much of an insult that would be?"

Alistair closed his eyes. "I can."

"Have a little faith in him. How many times has he saved all of us, including Zevran?"

"More times than I can count."

"Yet the first time he does something that has unpleasant effects you accuse him of trying to kill the man whose life he is trying to save. Not just accuse him Alistair, you snatched Zevran away."

"I don't like seeing him like that."

Morrigan's gentle tone was gone, the agitation growing in her voice, "None of us do. We may not show the drooling affection you do, but we're all Wardens and we've come to care for each other in our own ways. Yet you treat us all like you're the only one with a heart, with feelings."

Alistair was silent; her words tore at him as he realized that she was right. He had acted without thought of how Anders or Morrigan felt about what happened or would feel about what he had been doing.

Morrigan's voice was soft again, "Trust us like we trust you Alistair." She chuckled softly, "Who would have thought _I _would be telling _you_ to trust people."

Alistair turned and gave her a small smile. "Thank you, Morrigan."

"And I don't hate you Alistair. We're different and I don't always agree with you, but I'm learning to understand you at least." She waived him off, "Now get going before I start mocking you again."

Alistair left, heading back towards Zevran. Zevran was sitting on the cot and looked up when he saw Alistair, "Tesoro, have you kissed and made up?"

Alistair chuckled, "Not exactly, it's a work in progress, but I did learn something today."

"Something good?"

Alistair shrugged, "I think there is no such thing as a normal and well functioning adult. I think we're all as lost as the children we try to teach."

Zevran gave a little laugh, "I believe you may just be right, Tesoro."

* * *

Morrigan moved to the cart in the semi darkness and rummaged through it until she found what she was looking for in the corner, she lifted it, still fabric covered, and carried it across the camp to Nathaniel. He looked up at her and gave her a smile, it melted her insides. The first time he had smiled at her like that she thought she had finally learned what it meant for someone to have a heart stopping smile.

She gave him a small smile in return, not willing to make concessions just yet.

"Have you come to apologize, Morrigan?"

"Have you come to your senses, Nathaniel?"

His smile faltered, replaced with his equally sexy brooding. She handed him the fabric wrapped instrument, he looked at it suspiciously for a moment before he took it from her hands. He untied the ribbon at the top and slid the fabric bag down.

His gaze flicked up to hers when it was uncovered, "How did you," he was smiling again as he ran his fingers lovingly across the strings, he shook his head, "How did you know?"

"The calluses on your fingers, Leliana had ones just like them and you don't pull your bow string with your left hand."

Nathaniel's smile slowly melted as Morrigan watched him. She could see him remembering why things were so strained between them; he shifted his gaze away from her and she wanted to scream at him. She was tired of being angry with him, but she couldn't make him understand why the Templars were such a threat. All they did was argue and end up stalking away angrily. She tried again quietly, "They would kill me, Nathaniel."

"You're a blood mage." He stated just as quietly.

She knelt before him and touched the knife in his belt. "Then kill me yourself, if I am so horrible I deserve to be put to death, kill me."

Nathaniel moved her hand away from his knife, "I'm not a Templar."

She settled back on her feet, "But you feel I deserve it?"

He still wouldn't look at her, "It's not for me to decide."

"But haven't you decided already? You agree with the Templars, I deserve to die because of the magic I know."

"I never said that."

"What if I wasn't a blood mage?"

"Then the Templars would have no reason to kill you, they only kill maleficar, but it is beside the point, you _are _a blood mage."

"Even before I was a blood mage I was maleficar, Nathaniel. I am a shapeshifter, a magic not taught by the Circle. That itself is enough to be branded maleficar and to be hunted down, murdered. Even Anders is a maleficar."

Nathaniel finally looked at her, narrowing his eyes, "Anders is a healer, trained in the Circle."

Morrigan nodded, "I have been teaching him an ancient elven magic so now he too is maleficar."

"I don't understand, why would you do that to him? Make him a maleficar?"

Morrigan stood, "He was already branded one, even when he wasn't it. It doesn't even matter and you are again missing the point." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I didn't come over here to argue. Play for us, something lively, we could all use it."

"You want to watch a night of revelry with this lot?"

Morrigan gave him a wan smile and nodded a little. "I haven't even seen Anders smile in almost a week."

Nathaniel glanced around the camp; he nodded, "Alright." He started tuning the lute she had given him quietly and Morrigan left to head for her tent. She climbed inside and rifled through her pack for a few moments before pulling out a box with a triumphant smile. A moment later she pulled free another box and left her tent.

"Sigrun, put some water on to boil will you?"

There was a mumbled response but Sigrun was getting up. Morrigan walked to Oghren, "Find your cards?"

"Aye,"

"Fancy a couple hands?"

Oghren grinned, "Always ready for a little betting."

Morrigan nodded, "Be back in a few minutes." Morrigan set her finds on the ground just out of the ring of light provided by the fire. She went back to the cart and pulled out a bottle of moonshine Shannon had tucked into it at the last moment before they left.

She sat the moonshine down with the two boxes and walked close to the fire. She felt a bit odd, but she had to do something, everyone was so somber lately. Morrigan had never realized that she had relied on their levity to lighten her days. Biting her lip a little, she rubbed her hands together and a faint blue glow began to grow between them.

"What are you doing?" Anders' voice was soft, curious.

"Trying to remember a trick from when I was a child." The light grew bigger and a little brighter between her hands. "I used to do this when I was alone, Flemeth would have been furious if she had seen me being so frivolous with magic."

The light between her hands was almost hard to look at, it was so bright and it was the size of a melon. She looked to Anders and flashed him a mischievous smile. She spread her hands and the ball of light stretched between them, little sparkling lights dancing in the web.

Morrigan made a small tossing motion with her hands and a glittering web of light stretched over the camp, hovering about ten feet above the ground. Morrigan watched it, hoping it wouldn't blink out, but it seemed to be holding its own. It looked like twinkling stars caught in a spider's web.

Anders chuckled and stood up, "I've never seen anything like it. How did you learn it?"

"I taught it to myself; I found a spider's web one morning with dew clinging to it and thought of this. It took me almost a month to figure out how to do it."

Sareyna was at her side, "It's so beautiful." Her smile was wide as she laughed.

Morrigan nodded and turned to pick up the little things she had left on the ground. "So, I feel like playing some cards. I have a box of chocolates here to use as currency, except for Oghren, I have some moonshine for him." She crossed to Zevran and placed a black and gold box into his hands.

Zevran laughed, "Morrigan, you know the way to a man's heart."

"There's honey in the cart…somewhere."

"Then I best go find it." He disappeared into the dark.

Nathaniel moved closer to the fire and Morrigan saw he was looking at the web of lights with a smile on his face. A bitter remark about it being unsanctioned magic was on the tip of her tongue but she quashed it. He looked peaceful as he settled onto a chunk of log that had been dragged into the camp to act as a seat.

Morrigan settled down and watched, feeling a bit triumphant as chocolates were doled out along with cards. Zevran returned with the honey and soon was handing out cups of the fruit tea sweetened with a touch of the honey.

She had never heard Nathaniel play but she wasn't surprised by how beautifully he played. Nathaniel was a man who did nothing by half measures. Anything he did, he was good at. She was surprised, however, by his clear baritone ringing out into the night. She had never thought of him singing.

She closed her eyes, curse that man. He was her undoing. When Flemeth had spoken of men she had never mentioned a man like Nathaniel. She spoke of men as weak and contemptuous creatures. But there was steel in Nathaniel, steel and heart.

Morrigan opened her eyes and resolved herself to giving in, to finding a way to bridge the gap between them. He intrigued and fascinated her. And though she was loathe to admit it, she cared for the archer. Why else the not inconsiderable expense of buying him a gift she wasn't even completely sure he could use?

She played her cards, losing quickly as her gaze was drawn again and again to Nathaniel sitting in the firelight, eyes closed as he played and sang. He made something inside of her ache; she hoped it was more than the call of their blood. She felt Sareyna nudge her shoulder.

"Will you two kiss and make up already."

Morrigan gave her a little smile, "I'm not ready yet. But soon, I promise."

Sareyna gave her a serious look, "Don't wait too long Morrigan. Life is short, especially ours."

"I know, I just have to resign myself." Morrigan looked around at her companions as she played cards. Men could be fools, she knew that, she had seen it often enough. But now that she took the time to look deeper she realized that the men she knew, the ones sitting here with her were far more complex than she had given them credit for.

Alistair was soft but when it came to those he cared about being in danger he became a bear, a mountain of a man you did not want to tangle with. Anders' jokes might make you miss the brilliant mind behind them, she nearly had. Oghren was gross, there was no two ways about it, but he loved his child and struggled to make things alright with his wife Felsi even if he kept it all to himself, it was still impressive.

She wasn't sure Justice counted as a man, but he had moments of unexpected tenderness nonetheless. Morrigan looked at Zevran, he was perhaps the most complex of all of them and she had barely scratched the surface. She knew only a few things about him with any certainty.

He had claimed the Wardens as his family and if anyone were to threaten them he would massacre them, he would hunt them down to the last man and kill whoever it was that had dared to threaten his family. He was still afraid of loving them, any of them, including Sareyna and Alistair. He was waiting for it to all be ripped away from him.

And Zevran understood people better than the rest of them together. He understood their motivations, their emotions and exactly what a person needed at any given time. That man was hard to reconcile with the ruthless killer she knew him to be.

"My beautiful witch, I believe it is your turn." Zevran's smile bathed her in warmth.

She looked around at them all again seeing their smiles, and smiled a little herself. It was good to see them smiling again. It seemed to take ten years off Anders' face and she was grateful she had been able to help bring it back. _"This is what Sareyna was talking about, these moments in the chaos." _She thought briefly before shrugging, and laying down another card, for now she would cherish this moment.


	30. Chapter 30

**Blood Dance**

Zevran moved to kneel behind Sareyna. He wrapped an arm around her waist and nuzzled her ear. "I want to make love to you, Querida."

Sareyna turned to smile at him and he captured her lips. She tasted of the chocolate they had been playing for and well she should, she was cleaning them all out. When he pulled away he whispered again, "Come." He tugged her gently and Sareyna stood with him. She cast a glance to Alistair who just smiled as Zevran pulled her away.

"You do not care that he is with her without you?"

Sareyna paused hearing Anders' question.

"She is as much his as she is mine now, just as I am as much his as hers."

"And here I pegged you for the jealous type, Alistair."

Alistair shook his head, "I am."

"Ah, well that makes everything as clear as mud."

Alistair laughed and Zevran tugged on her arm again. "Querida, are you alright?"

She nodded and followed him into the tent. He pulled her close and kissed her again, his tongue teasing along her bottom lip before slipping into her mouth and dancing with hers. She felt stiff in his arms and he broke off the kiss taking a step back. "You do not feel comfortable, here with me?" He tried to keep the hurt from his voice; she still didn't accept him completely.

She shook her head, "Whatever they have been doing to you, it's making you louder. I," she swallowed nervously, "I can hear you, Zev."

"Hear me?"

She nodded, and traced her fingers gently up the side of his neck. "Your blood, I can hear it thrum when you're near. I can feel it, it pulls at me." Her eyes closed briefly and a soft sigh escaped her lips.

Zevran watched her with interest; her fingers on his skin seemed to be pulling some kind of a reaction from her. "And you do not feel Alistair?"

She opened her eyes and blinked, "It's different; I can feel him when we're together, like a little undercurrent pulling us together. I never gave it much thought."

"Morrigan believes it is because we are Wardens, that there is something with the ritual that draws us to one another. Less family ties that way."

"But you didn't go through a normal joining." Sareyna's fingers caressed his hair softly as she spoke.

"Perhaps it is why I feel different to you." He stroked her cheek. "Do you wish me to leave you alone?"

She shook her head, "No, I like the way it feels." She leaned forward and kissed him, slipping buckles free easily. Zevran could hear her too; he had been able to hear her since shortly after he had slain the Archdemon. He had not known what it was at first, but once he realized it had fascinated him, the way her blood sang to him.

Alistair was a subtle current, a soft rolling of deep notes under his skin, but Sareyna's song was almost physical. It wrapped around him, pulled him in, sped up his heart and made him ache for her in the most delicious ways. His own fingers worked at her armor and it was only moments before the two rogues stood naked in the tent.

Zevran pulled her towards the bedrolls, his lips still teasing hers, tasting her as they moved. As they neared the bedrolls she swayed in his arms, "Zevran" she whispered, her voice sounding a little awed. The song seeped from her pores, twining around him and he let her pull them both down. On their knees his fingers could not pull her hair free quick enough.

As soon as it tumbled free his fingers carded into it and he pulled free from their kiss to inhale the scent of her hair deep into his lungs. He felt like he couldn't get enough of her. Zevran pulled back and took a deep breath; he gave her a shaky smile. "I feel like a boy, touching a woman for the first time."

* * *

His song was dancing along her skin, pulling her closer and closer, stripping away any thoughts other than how much she needed him. Sareyna pulled him tight against her and ran her tongue up the tip of his ear and nipped at it drawing a shudder and a gasp from Zevran, she felt strong, powerful, "I'm going to eat you alive, Zevran, my love." She dragged her nails down his back and bit his ear again, harder this time.

The song got louder and she licked her lips, her whole body felt awakened, attuned to Zevran's call. Zevran growled when she dragged her fingernails through the same furrows in his back again. She smiled ferally when his back arched as she dug into him a little deeper. She brought one hand to her mouth with a wicked gleam in her eyes and licked one of her bloodied nails. A moment later her eyes flared wide, "Zev," her voice was husky, raw.

She stared at her blood stained fingernails in awe, what was that? What had just happened, she had felt all these thoughts and emotions all at once, but none of them were hers. Had she just felt Zevran, did their blood carry more than song and that strange pull? Was the story of their lives truly written in blood?

She cautiously licked another nail clean, a moan escaping her at the intensity of emotion and desire that swept through her. 'Reyna clutched at his shoulder as the feelings swept through her. "Maker, I want more of that." She whispered feeling almost ashamed at the admission.

Zevran watched her for a few moments as she struggled to regain herself then resolutely leaned forward and kissed her cheek as he slipped a knife from beside their bedrolls. "It's alright Querida," he whispered, "mi amora." He took the knife and cut a shallow groove along his collarbone. Her eyes followed the gleam of the knife and lingered on his skin as blood welled in the shallow cut. Her tongue darted out and wet her bottom lip.

She closed her eyes briefly, "What's wrong with me, Zev?"

"Do you trust me, Sareyna?"

* * *

Sareyna locked eyes with his, "You, you never call me that." He could see and feel her trembling all over.

"This is no light thing I ask of you."

Sareyna nodded, "I trust you, always." She turned her head aside and moved her hair out of his way, a slight hiss issuing from her lips as he repeated the shallow slice along her collar bone as well. "I felt you," she whispered, "for a moment I felt you, all of you." She traced a finger along his cheek, a tear in her eye.

"Hush, no tears for me." He kissed her softly, "I accept who I am, who I needed to be to get here." He caught her gaze, "All the things I have done, I have been, brought me to you and Alistair, I regret nothing. Do you understand?"

She nodded and shifted her body slightly forward, the invitation clear. The song was a strong and invisible force pulling him to her, much louder now as it flowed slowly from the shallow slice. The tip of his tongue dragged across the line of blood tasting her, taking her song into himself.

He could feel his eyes becoming unfocused as her blood sang like fire through his body. It swept through him, a tide of emotion and images, a keen yearning permeating his whole being. He pulled away from her, his mind reeling and as he stared at her in wonder she gave him a small smile and brushed a finger across his cheek under his eye.

"No tears for me either, love."

Zevran nodded and pushed her backwards gently until she was lying on her back. He kissed her again, the taste of her blood still clinging faintly to his tongue. His fingers skirted over her skin, caressing it, memorizing it. His lips pressed to her throat, raining soft and tender kisses across her sensitive skin before returning to the fresh blood in the wound he had made and licking it again.

His fingers tightened in her hair and his eyes squeezed shut, "Sweet Maker, 'Reyna." His breathing sped up; he had never experienced anything like this before. He felt at war with himself, her blood screamed at him to take her at the same time it seemed to beseech him to cherish her.

She pushed herself upright and licked up the drops from his own shallow cut. She moaned as she lay back wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist. Zevran's breath ghosted across her skin as he lowered his head and kissed the tops of her breasts. Holding himself above her with one arm he cupped one of her breasts and moved it up so he could suck the nipple into his mouth.

Each gasp of delight shivered across his skin, she tugged on his hair gently and he raised his head to look at her. She seemed surrounded by a pale red aura, her fingers twined into his hair and she pulled him into a kiss. She tightened her legs around his waist, "I need you."

Zevran gave a brief nod and gripped her hip in one hand he shifted a little until he was at her entrance. Sareyna seemed to be pushing herself downwards, trying to impale herself on him. Resting on his elbows not quite entering her he brushed a strand of hair from her face. "Querida," he breathed quietly.

His heart was hammering in his chest and it ached, his entire life had been about selfishness, about the need for more. Now here he was, yet again, in bed with another man's wife. Her eyes bored into him, passion and love clear to see, was he pulling her and Alistair into his world ruled by pleasure, was this really what any of them truly wanted?

There was no way he could live with that thought on his conscience, not after all they had done for him. So with every ounce of restraint he had he held her gaze and spoke softly. "I love you, 'Reyna. Say the word, I'll leave, I'll never come back. I'll let you two live happily ever after."

Sareyna turned and kissed his cheek gently, "I want you here, with us."

Zevran captured her lips and kissed her again, he was lost now he knew, but he didn't care. He was free from the purgatory of confusion he had been suffering the last few months, while he had been dancing an odd tango with them both.

His hands roamed over her skin, wanting to touch every inch of her, wanting to memorize every scar, and curve. He took a deep breath, "I love you, 'Reyna." With that he slid into her. He rested his head on her shoulder as he started to move, "I love you."

Zevran felt tears threaten and didn't care, he knew she would think nothing less of him for his tears. He moved slowly, teasing her skin with kisses and caresses, bringing her to climax again and again. This might be the only time he might ever be able to be with her like this. If Anders and Morrigan were successful in their research they might not ever feel this intense connection the blood afforded them ever again.

He felt a moment of panic flare in his gut, Alistair. He wanted to share this with him too. Roughly, he shoved the idea to the back of his mind. There would be time for that, they had not yet found the solution and this night, just this night was for him and Sareyna.

Sareyna touched his cheek, "Stay with me Zev, stay here with me, just for tonight."

He nodded, and dropped a soft kiss on her lips. The blood still held them both in thrall, dancing in their veins and moving their bodies in timeless rhythm. As sweat slicked their bodies time seemed to slip away from them. Zevran rolled them pulling Sareyna on top of him and she rode him at a leisurely pace as his fingers caressed her skin.

She bit her tongue for a moment when his fingers found the scar that wrapped around her back and ended under her breast and began to trace it lightly. Taking a shaky breath she let it out finding her rhythm again as his fingers ghosted over the knotted flesh of the old wound. There was sadness in Zevran's eyes when she met them.

"It's deeper than it looks, isn't it."

Sareyna shuddered and laid down on his chest, she stopped moving and he wrapped his arms around her. She buried her face in his neck and started to sob quietly. Zevran just held her, surprised that she had held onto this for so long. He felt tears slid down his own face as he held her and was surprised by the pain that touched his very soul. He had thought he had moved past all of it, but it seemed she still had a hold on him.

Sareyna sat up and brushed her tears aside, "Look at me, mourning a elven woman who I'm not even sure that I loved, years after she died."

Zevran rolled them onto their side and pulled her close, "I think we both need it, I've never really mourned Rinna as I should have. I was too busy pretending it didn't bother me." He gave her a small smile, "I felt your love and your sorrow for her, for Lyna. No matter what, she meant a great deal to you and you shouldn't try to pretend it never happened."

"I could say the same to you."

* * *

Zevran nodded and kissed her softly again, just a gentle press of lips against her own. They lay side by side comforting each other, caressing each other letting the tears come and go as they needed and finally they made love, the ghosts of the past put to rest at least for now. They celebrated their loves past and present with their joy that spread like a warm glow over them both.

And when Alistair climbed into the tent later they made love to him together. Using their bodies to show him all the things their tongues weren't eloquent enough to say. And when they were all exhausted physically and emotionally they curled up around Alistair, heads on his chest, tucked safely under his arms, their fingers intertwined over his abdomen.

Sareyna squeezed Zevran's hand and he looked to her briefly. She smiled, biting her lower lip a little and gestured with her head up at Alistair who was nearly asleep with a contented smile on his lips. Zevran squeezed her hand back as the two of them spoke.

"Love you, Alistair."

Alistair's eyes opened and there was no disguising the joy on his face, he squeezed them both in his arms and spoke quietly, "Thank you." He closed his eyes again and let out a slow breath. "Thank you." He whispered again as he started to drift off to sleep.

Sareyna and Zevran watched each other for long minutes across Alistair's chest after he had fallen asleep. "I like listening to his heart when he sleeps." She whispered quietly.

Zev nodded, "He has the heart of a bear, it has to be big to love all of us as much as he does."

She smiled, "Don't let me ever forget how lucky we are to have him, Zev."

"As long as you promise me the same, Querida."

She giggled quietly, "Who knew we were so sappy?"

"He did."

Sareyna kissed Zevran's hand then Alistair's chest and closed her eyes ready for the night to claim her.


	31. Chapter 31

**Seeking Out**

Anders laughed, the sound half relief, half hysteria. "We found it, Morri, we actually found it." Anders held up the small crystal just half the size of a grape, a dark purple energy swirling slowly inside. He tied a leather cord around it and carried it to the room where Zevran sat cross legged on the cot waiting patiently for the next test.

His back was to the wall that separated him from the un-awakened Darkspawn. Anders knew Zevran could hear them scrabbling against the wall, trying to get to him, to the call that he unintentionally emitted.

"Keep your fingers crossed Zevran, I think we found it."

Zevran gave him a weak smile, the tests they had been conducting for the last week and a half had taken their toll on the elf. Dark circles made Zevran's eyes seem almost sunken, Anders couldn't wait until they were finished and Zevran could get some rest. So he slipped the leather cord around Zevran's neck and watched carefully. Zevran closed his eyes briefly and swayed a little before he slowly opened his eyes and gave them a small strained smile. "I'm still awake."

"Are you alright?" Anders touched his shoulder lightly.

"I am fine. It made me a little woozy at first, but it seems to have passed." The sound of the Darkspawn scrabbling against the wall slowly stopped. Zevran shivered a little, apparently still disturbed that his presence had caused that much of a reaction to the Darkspawn even after all the days of being in this room. "Does this mean that we can leave?"

Anders nodded, "Just about, we have to finish copying the information we need from Renault's notes. But you don't need to come down here anymore."

"Thank you." He paused and looked from Anders to Morrigan, "Thank you, both of you, but now I think I'll get out of here." He pushed up off the cot and started crossing to the doorway immediately.

Anders nodded, "I'll walk up with you. You shouldn't be left alone for a while until we know the longer term effects."

"Like whether it will turn me into a Darkspawn?" Zev gave Anders a cheeky smile.

Anders rolled his eyes, but was relieved by the smile nonetheless. "Let's just go."

The two of them headed towards the surface, Zev easily keeping up with Anders' long strides in his enthusiasm to be out of the dank mine once and for all. As they reached the surface Sareyna looked up from the boot she had been polishing and smiled broadly.

"Good news, I hope."

Anders nodded, "So far, so good."

Zevran smirked, "Way to instill confidence, Anders." He turned to Sareyna, "It does what we hoped it would. It quells the song and blocks some of my corruption from being sensed by other Wardens. Can you feel it, Querida?"

She cocked her head as if she were listening and furrowed her brow. "You feel different, lighter; you don't push at me anymore."

Zevran's eyes darkened as he stared at Sareyna who flushed at Zevran's heated look. Anders ignored the exchange, he had gathered that something significant had happened between the two of them and the call of their blood, but neither seemed interested in sharing. Anders hadn't even been able to pry it from Alistair under the guise of research.

Instead, Anders grinned, "It works and he's, you know, awake."

"Well that's good. It would be terribly inconvenient to have to drag him everywhere." Her smile faded, "How close are you to finishing the notes?"

Anders sighed, "A day, maybe two."

Sareyna nodded, "I'll come down and help."

"Are you sure? I know you didn't really like it down there, frankly neither do I."

"I didn't like what was happening to Zev and the memories of what was done before. But I can read and write, my penmanship is even legible, or so I've been told."

Anders regarded her for a long moment before he nodded, he really did want to get out of here as much as everyone else. "It would be appreciated." He took a deep breath, "Can I speak to you alone when you get a moment?"

Sareyna kissed Zev on the cheek, "Go get yourself something to eat."

"Querida?" Zevran looked from Anders to Sareyna, concern clear on his face.

"I will be along shortly." She gave him a reassuring smile.

Placated, Zevran nodded and strolled over to the fire, settling down next to Alistair who immediately wrapped his arm around Zevran's shoulder and gave him an affectionate squeeze.

Anders looked away from them and back to Sareyna speaking quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. "What are you planning on doing with Renault, 'Reyna?"

"I'm not sure yet. Do you really think he can find a way to end the Blights?"

Anders shifted uncomfortably, "I hate to admit it, but he's close 'Reyna. I think he just might. It's months, or possibly even years away, but he's closer than anyone else has ever been."

"With his notes do you think you could do it?"

"If I had unlimited Darkspawn to experiment on, but honestly 'Reyna, I'm not sure I could do experiments on them. Mostly, I just like to kill them."

Sareyna chuckled, "I can understand that. Do you still have a problem with keeping him alive if you think he can stop the Blights?"

Anders swallowed hard, "Let me think about it some more. I'm really torn. He's a monster and possibly the worst being alive, but his goal coincides with ours. And he shouldn't be any more of a risk to us, personally."

"I understand, sometimes I think life was easier before I became Commander. I wasn't so constricted by our 'Whatever it takes' credo."

Anders was quiet for a moment as he searched her face. "Even if it takes your soul?"

Sareyna gave him a small wry smile, "I think we all forfeited our souls when we took the taint into our bodies willingly."

"I hope your wrong, 'Reyna."

"Me too." Sareyna inhaled and exhaled deeply. "I'll go get Morrigan for lunch, you go rest and eat. I hear you've been burning the candle at both ends."

"I just want to leave. I want to get back to the Keep and to my bed."

"Soon, I promise. Alistair can help with copying notes too, as can Nathaniel. We'll get out of here as soon as possible."

Anders watched her for a moment as she turned and headed down into the mine, his heart thudding heavily in his chest. Sometimes it was so hard to be a Warden, to put your own wants and desires aside in favor of what was best for the Wardens. He wondered if he looked as world weary as Sareyna had been looking lately. Only the news that they were close to finding a solution for Zevran had eased the darkness lurking in her hooded eyes, and that only eased it a little bit.

There was no doubt she was a formidable woman and had been able to handle anything that they had thrown at her since the beginning of the Blight, but Anders had a feeling that this trip to the Silverite mine had strained even her inner reserves. He was just as glad as she was that they would be leaving soon. Things had taken much longer at the mine than they had first hoped.

Renault had not felt like he had known any more useful information to help Morrigan and Anders in their research after the first few days. He decided that he would copy down his notes for Anders and Morrigan to take with them so that when they left they could try to do their own research into ending the Blights once and for all. He had insisted that anything he had remembered he had put in his notes. After asking him questions about some of the passages he had read in Renault's notes Anders believed him.

He dished himself up some stew, probably made by Sigrun, since it was edible and waited for Sareyna and Morrigan to return. He glanced around the fire and saw Sigrun huddled next to Oghren and Justice, apparently deep in conversation. He wondered what they could be discussing with the spirit and just hoped Sigrun had sense enough to rein Oghren and his wild tales in. Justice was way too earnest to understand how many of Oghren's tales were exaggerated.

Sigrun looked up and smiled at Anders. The two of them had shared a bedroll almost every night of their stay at the mine, though he was yet to convince her to stay to actually sleep there with him. She always politely declined with never more of a reason than she had given him that first night back at the Keep. Sigrun had agreed to give him a griffon tattoo once they returned to the Keep he just needed to decide where he wanted it.

Oghren spent most of his evenings writing letters to Felsi and his child. Sigrun and Sareyna took turns proofreading them and from what Anders had heard his writing and grammar had been improving. It made Anders smile to know that Oghren was finally making peace with his family, not just for an occasional night, but on a more long term basis.

He glanced to where Nathaniel sat apparently tuning his lute. He shook his head, he had been watching the drama between Morrigan and Nathaniel unfold and was disgusted with both of them. It always ended with her telling Nathaniel "If that's the way you feel, then just kill me now and save the Templars the trouble."

Nathaniel always turned away from her at that point and walked away which never ended well. Anders thought they were both being idiots, even he could see that they cared for each other. He had mentioned to Nathaniel that life was too short for these petty arguments, but Nathaniel had all but ripped his head off for sticking his nose where it didn't belong.

Anders chuckled to himself quietly.

"Something funny, mage?"

Anders turned to see Morrigan looking down at him. "Yes actually, I was thinking about how our merry little band reminds me of a series of those bad romance stories."

Her lips quirked a little, "Oh, and what does that make you?"

"The cynical friend who says he doesn't believe in love, all the time pining desperately for a love of his own."

Morrigan opened her mouth then snapped it closed. She started opening it again before closing it again.

Anders laughed, "Speechless? I'm almost proud of myself for that."

Morrigan shook her head, and spoke quietly as she walked away, Anders almost didn't hear her. "Maybe if you quit telling jokes for ten minutes you'd find what you were looking for."

Anders didn't say anything just watched her walk across to the fire. Sareyna sat down next to him, bowl in hand. "I already spoke with Alistair and Nathaniel, they'll both help. Hopefully, we'll be able to leave tomorrow. What do you think?"

"I think it sounds splendid."

Sareyna took a few bites of her stew. "Are you ever going to forgive them?"

Anders sighed, "Again? Really, 'Reyna?"

"Yes, again. They feel as bad as I do. Why not forgive them?"

"You're going to drive me nuts with this. I will in my own time. I'm getting there."

"They want to apologize for everything."

Anders knuckles turned white on the bowl he was gripping. "Asking for forgiveness does not always grant it." He hissed through his teeth. Taking a breath to calm himself he spoke again slowly, "I will forgive them. I just have too much on my mind to really deal with all of it right now."

"So, sex with the dwarf isn't helping all that much?"

Anders laughed and shook his head. He leaned over and tussled her hair which was oddly still hanging loose. "There may be no Maker and Andraste might be a woman scorned but whoever saw fit to put you into my life I am grateful."

She smiled at him as she pushed her hair back trying to smooth it a little. "Me too."

"Good, now stuff your face and stop asking me so many questions. Healer's orders."

Sareyna chuckled, but complied.


	32. Chapter 32

**Slipping From My Hands**

With everyone pitching in they were able to finish copying Renault's notes in less than a day. As they wrapped things up they decided to retire to the surface to discuss what to do with Renault. They reluctantly agreed that he had the best chance at ending the Blights and in the end decided to let him live.

Anders knew mentally that it was a sound decision, that it was the right decision as a Warden, but it didn't change the fact that he felt like a traitor, like he was letting a murderer, a monster walk free. The very same things he had accused Alistair of he was now doing himself.

* * *

Sareyna would speak to no one once the decision was made, save Morrigan. She spoke with her and made arrangements for Morrigan to periodically pick up updated notes from Renault in the Silverite Mine. Renault promised them an update every six months unless there was a huge breakthrough in which case he would find a way to send a messenger to them.

She also felt like a traitor, mostly to herself. This man had caused herself, her Arling and her country no small amount of pain from the Blight and since and she was letting him go. But when Morrigan and Anders explained his research and how close he was, she could not bring herself to kill him. He may have condemned humanity, but what if he could also save them?

So as soon as the preparations were made they all headed back to the Keep. Everyone relieved to finally be rid of the place. Sareyna could not wait to get into her own bed and sleep all the way through the night in a comfortable bed without the fear of dreams hanging over her head.

Her head was throbbing as they walked. She had spent an hour explaining to Justice why the group had decided to let Renault live. In the end he finally understood that his life had the possibility to save countless others. That letting him live would give him a small chance at redemption.

The spirit seemed placated with her answer and finally acquiesced to her arguments. Sareyna was grateful, but arguing with Justice over the issue brought all of her concerns into sharp focus, fraying her already worn nerves. She struggled not to snap at everyone as she was peppered with pointless questions as they traveled slowly back to the Keep.

Sareyna had been glad when Morrigan fell into step beside her. The others quieted down, whether in an attempt to be polite, or out of fear, Sareyna didn't know and honestly didn't care. She just wanted to get back and crawl into a bathtub, and perhaps hibernate there for the winter.

* * *

Morrigan had been listening to Sareyna talk about all the things she wanted to change and update at the Keep when suddenly there was a whistling through the air and Sareyna grunted. The first was followed rapidly by several others before Morrigan could even get her shield up. A few arrows bounced harmlessly off the shield as Sareyna crumpled to the ground, her breath coming in red colored gasps.

"Anders!" Morrigan's voice was sharp and harsh as her eyes scanned around them trying to find the archers. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Zevran melt into the shadows; Alistair let out a bellow when he spotted some of the bandits. He ran at them full bore and Morrigan lost sight of him as Anders dropped to his knees at Sareyna's side.

"Dammit" He muttered as he grabbed the first arrow, which had pierced completely through her chest under her breast, breaking off the end before pushing it through and pulling it out the other side. There were five arrows embedded in her, one in her chest, two in her abdomen and the other two in her arm where she attempted to protect herself.

Morrigan stood up and expanded her shield to encompass the three of them. Ignoring the arrow in her shoulder and two more in her upper leg she incinerated anything that came near them, projectile or person. She heard singing in the air from behind her as Nathaniel's bow fired arrow after arrow, all seeming to hit their mark.

The battle was over quickly, but Morrigan could see the damage was already done. Zevran was covered in blood, kneeling on the ground next to Sareyna holding her hand in his own as Alistair stood awkwardly behind the pair looking lost.

A quick probe with her healing energy showed that none of the blood on Zevran was his own. She pulled the arrows from her own wounds and healed them quickly before focusing her attention back on Anders and Sareyna. Sareyna was now unconscious, probably from the pain.

Anders was sweating as he healed each wound one by one. Morrigan handed him a lyrium potion, "Drink," her tone made it clear she would brook no argument. Anders grabbed the flask and downed it quickly before returning to tending Sareyna's wounds.

Sigrun, Oghren and Justice hung back from the group clearly trying to stay out of the way. Nathaniel came walking up to Alistair holding a few arrows in his hand.

"Did you find a mage?"

Alistair nodded, "Yes, I took care of him. Why?"

Nathaniel handed him the arrows.

Alistair scowled, "Enchanted." He shook his head, "I wondered how they seemed to ignore her armor, they cut right through it like it was nothing." He inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. "Is she going to be alright Anders?"

Anders nodded but didn't look up. Morrigan knew what he wasn't saying. Sareyna might survive, but the babe was already dead. As if he had heard her thoughts Zevran touched Anders' hand lightly, "It's alright Bello, we know you tried."

Anders bit his lip and continued working without a sound.

Alistair took a half step backwards and blinked, "You mean," he took a shaky breath, "she lost the baby?"

When Anders didn't look up Alistair turned to look at Morrigan who merely nodded. Alistair turned away from them, his hand covering his eyes.

"Oh," he managed weakly. He took a few steps away from them before sitting down heavily. "oh," he repeated, his voice much quieter, almost tremulous. He huddled in on himself and his shoulders shook in silent sobs.

Morrigan crossed to him and placed a hand on his shoulder, unsure of what else to do, "I'm sorry." She whispered.

Alistair placed his hand over hers, holding it to his shoulder as he wept quietly. Morrigan felt awkward, but he seemed to need some kind of support so she stayed. Zevran and Anders were preoccupied with Sareyna and she wasn't even sure if anyone else had known Sareyna was with child.

Alistair finally released her hand and stood up slowly. "It never ends does it? One nightmare ends just so another one can begin. Every bit of happiness we're granted has to be tainted in loss." He looked up at her, "Do you think the three of us are being punished?"

"Don't be ridiculous Alistair, sometimes these things just happen."

Alistair shook his head, "I know, I know you're right. It just feels that way sometimes." He took a slow deep breath, "I'm alright now. Thank you."

Morrigan nodded and reached out her hand to his face, a brief flare of teal light cascaded over his skin healing a gash in his forehead. She removed an arrow from his sword arm and healed that as well. "Anything else?"

He shook his head, "No, that's everything."

She nodded and moved to where the two dwarves stood with Justice. She healed the dwarves' small wounds, but wasn't sure how to go about healing Justice, his body wasn't actually living. She helped him to remove an arrow embedded in his shoulder, but then just stood there looking curiously at the wound.

Justice gave her a faint nod, "My injuries do not need tending to."

Morrigan nodded in return and went back to where Anders had just sat back on his heels. He was watching Sareyna who was slowly regaining consciousness. Her eyes opened, then widened a bit as her hand went to her abdomen. Anders bit his lip and Sareyna just nodded.

"I tried." Anders' voice was a mere whisper and there were unshed tears in his eyes.

* * *

Sareyna sat up carefully and kissed his cheek, "I know you did."

Anders looked away and stood up. He walked away from the group and climbed up onto the cart rummaging around for something. Morrigan was distracted by Zevran helping Sareyna to her feet.

"Querida, you have to stop scaring us like this. It is bad for my heart." He gave her a little smile, "I'm not as young as I look, you know."

Sareyna chuckled a little, "You'll probably outlive us all."

He gave a little shrug, "True, but still no reason to scare us half to death. Now go see your husband."

Sareyna turned and saw Alistair standing a bit to the side, he watched her almost warily. She walked over to him and gave him a hug. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

Alistair shook his head, "None of us saw that coming. There's nothing any of us could do."

Sareyna pulled out of the hug with a faint smile on her lips, "Then why are you beating yourself up over it?"

He gave her a shy smile, "Because that's what I do."

Sareyna smiled and fingered the holes in her armor. "I guess I'll have to see Wade when I get back." She frowned, "I don't understand it though, this is good armor, lasted the whole Blight."

Alistair grinned, "I know, I remember meeting you in it."

She chuckled and shook her head. "You liked the way I filled out the back of it."

He nodded, "Still do. But the arrows were enchanted, nothing wrong with that armor."

"Cheating bastards." She sighed and turned looking for Anders, she saw him standing at the back of the cart taking a long pull on a bottle of amber colored liquor. She patted Alistair on the arm, "Are you alright, Alistair?"

"No, but I'll be fine." He kissed her hand.

She nodded and walked to the back of the cart and waited for Anders to get down. He slowly climbed down and leaned heavily against the back of the cart.

"I'm a damn good healer." He said a bit sullenly.

"I know, I've never met anyone better."

* * *

"I hate being shown my limitations. Makes me feel useless." He was quiet a second and when she didn't respond he spoke again, his voice much quieter so no one else could hear them. "At least this gets you out of it."

Sareyna slapped him, hard. He grabbed his cheek and looked at her surprise all over his face.

"Don't you dare make this out like I wanted it to happen, don't you dare Anders. I can forgive a lot of things, but if you even suggest such a thing again, we're finished, understood?"

He nodded and opened his mouth to apologize but she had already spun away from him and stomped off. Anders looked at his hands, the useless things that couldn't even save an innocent baby's life. What good was he really, what good was all that power if when it came to the important things he either couldn't help or screwed up so badly that no one wanted anything to do with him.

Forgiveness seemed to be a recurring theme in his life as of late. Maybe if he learned how to give it, he would be lucky enough to receive it. For now he would keep his distance, it had been a horrible thing to say, and he had known it, even as the words slipped like oil from his tongue. Turned out he was a bastard in more ways than one.


	33. Chapter 33

**Start Over**

The walk back to the Keep seemed to take forever. Sareyna was constantly on edge, snapping at anyone she thought was trying to coddle her. Alistair and Zevran got the worst of it since they couldn't help but be awkward around her; they treated her like spun glass which irritated her to no end.

She spent her time walking off to the side, preferring to let Zevran and Alistair lead so she would be left in peace. At night she lay alone having made it painfully clear to both Alistair and Zevran that she didn't want them to touch her. In all honesty, she wasn't making things any easier on herself or them. She felt lost in a foreign land with no map to help her find her way to safety.

All of the Wardens steered clear of her as best they could, trying to give her the space that she seemed to want. None of them were to blame; she was angry with herself and deeply ashamed. Anders, as ill advised as his statement had been, was right. She had been relieved to find herself no longer with child. Being a mother wasn't in her, she was more than happy to leave the rearing of her current child to anyone who took an interest.

Even knowing she was making everyone else miserable she couldn't seem to stop. She really didn't want to, she was angry, pissed off and it felt good. She was no longer in limbo, walking on egg shells waiting for the next nightmare to claim her. There wasn't even a need for her to hold her tongue or her temper out here.

Sareyna could be as angry as she wanted to and could revel in it. Since the end of the Blight she had forgotten how clear, how simple things could be with rage burning all the meaningless detritus aside. There were things to be done now, and she was done playing politics and done playing nice.

Her mind felt clear as she started making real plans. Nathaniel would take over the running of the Arling in all but name; it should have been his anyways. Sareyna would stick to what she was good at; she would find the Darkspawn and eradicate them before they could hurt others.

She would start bolstering the ranks of the Wardens in earnest. There were far too few in Ferelden. She would announce a tournament, open to all, to find some of the best warriors. For the others she would need to pursue less routine avenues.

Sareyna had a few ideas; she wanted to visit the casteless dwarves in Orzammar, the city elves in as many Alienages as she could get access to. And perhaps the Dalish would be willing to let her come recruit as well, they knew her. She would also need to speak to Morrigan and…and, Sareyna stopped, the rift between her and Anders hurt, it ached.

Taking a deep breath she turned around and headed to the back of their rag tag little group. Anders glanced up briefly but if he noticed her he gave no indication. He had been as sullen, sulky as she had on their trip back to the Keep.

Zevran had even earned himself the ire of Morrigan when he had told both Sareyna and Anders that one moody bitch was enough for any band of Wardens. He was more than a little disappointed that he didn't even win a smile for risking his own life. After that he had left them both alone.

Sareyna walked in step with Anders trying to figure out where to begin. And trying to understand why she was starting with him when her husband and lover both deserved an apology from her. She had been awful to both of them, grateful that they had each other to turn to for solace so they would leave her alone.

She shook her head and chuckled a little. "Not even going to look at me then?"

He sighed heavily, "What do you want?"

"How about a do over?"

His lip twitched in an almost smile, "Came to take another swing at me then?"

"The thought has crossed my mind, but I thought an apology might be more appropriate."

He was quiet for a few beats before he spoke softly, "You don't owe me or anyone else an apology. I totally deserved it." He didn't quite manage to repress the second smile, "It was like I could see the cliff up ahead, but couldn't stop myself from running up to it and tumbling over."

"You spoke the truth."

"It doesn't matter that it was the truth, I was being an ass and it was uncalled for."

"So, why?"

He turned to her, his smile turned bitter, "Because I was angry at myself for not saving it. It was easier to blame you, to think that I couldn't save it because you didn't want it." He shrugged, "It doesn't matter, I did it because I'm not a nice person 'Reyna. This is why I don't have friends; I'm not a decent guy."

She smirked and hugged him taking Anders totally by surprise, a small squeak escaped him. "I won't tell your secret, if you keep mine."

"Which is?"

"That I'm not a decent person either."

Anders laughed and put his arm around her shoulders leading her forward again. "Fair enough." He looked up towards where Alistair and Zevran were walking close together at the head of the group and gestured to them, "And what are they going to think about you coming back here to be with me instead of walking with them."

"That I needed a brother more than I needed a husband or a lover right now."

Anders face became more serious. "Are you alright, 'Reyna?"

She nodded, "I am. I feel clear, uncluttered for the first time in months. I'm going to start a recruitment campaign and I'm going to need your input. I need to know how to find more mages for the Wardens."

Anders furrowed his brow, "Like apostates?"

"Apostates, Circle mages, whoever I can get my hands on. Are you alright with that?"

He nodded, "If that's what they want, I think I can do that. But how are you going to get them past the Templars? Eventually, they're going to figure out where they're going and they'll try to interfere."

"Leave that to me, I just need you to help me find them."

Anders pulled her close again and kissed the top of her head. "I'll help you build your army, but only if you kiss and make up with your husband and that nuisance of an elf."

She chuckled, "Thank you Anders."

"What are big brothers for?" he smirked. The two of them chatted amicably the rest of the way back to the Keep.

* * *

Once they walked through the doors of the keep Anders turned Sareyna towards the stairs. "Go up there and fix things with your men. Alistair's hang dog look is enough to depress all of us."

Sareyna ran up the stairs towards the rooms she shared with Alistair and Zevran. The private stationed at the gate had told her and Anders that the Lieutenant and Zevran had headed straight to their rooms to bathe, which had sounded like a wonderful idea to Sareyna. She pushed open the door to their suite and found the sitting room empty as well as the bedroom.

As she pushed open the door to the bathing chamber she found her two men. Zevran was already stripped down and helping Alistair out of his armor. Zevran quirked a brow at her, "Speaking to us yet?"

Sareyna nodded, "I'm sorry. I just, it was odd having everyone treating me like I was going to explode into a million pieces."

"So you pushed us all away?" this from Alistair.

Sareyna cringed at the hurt in his voice, she walked over to him and touched his face gently, "Tell me how to make it up to you."

He pulled her close, crushing her against him as he kissed her roughly. He dropped his forehead to her shoulder. "Tell me you don't hate me for letting you lose the baby." He took a shaky breath, "Tell me you don't hate me for getting you with child in the first place." He looked up at her, "Tell me you still love me."

She squeezed him tight, "I don't hate you, not even a little bit. And of course I love you. I'll always love you Alistair. I'm just terrible at sharing."

Alistair scowled at her.

Zevran gave a soft laugh and kissed Alistair's forehead. "She's saying she needed to sort through this on her own."

Alistair gave an awkward smile, "Which you already told me."

"I'm sorry my love, I didn't mean to worry you."

Alistair took a step back from her and started pulling off the rest of his armor. Zevran went back to helping him and Sareyna started removing her own armor. The tub was already filled with hot water and she climbed gratefully inside followed quickly by Alistair and then Zevran.

It was a little cramped with the three of them in the tub but they didn't seem to mind as they cleaned each other. Their hugs and kisses were more comforting and comfortable than sexual, not that any of them seemed to mind. Once they were all cleaned Alistair picked Sareyna up and placed her gently standing on her feet where he proceeded to dry her off.

Zevran watched them with a languid smile until Alistair picked him up as well and set him laughing on his feet. The three of them, once dried retired to their bed to snuggle together and make up for some of the distance of the last few days. Sareyna was awed with how wonderful it was just to relax in the bed with the two of them, surrounded by love, with no expectations of more.

* * *

"Where are you going?"

Anders looked up to see Morrigan leaning against a pillar he was about to walk by. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

She pushed off the pillar, "Try me?"

Anders chuckled, a self deprecating sound. "Before we left all I could think of when I looked at the stars was how afraid I was that one of them would die before the sun came up each day. I'd like to go up there and remind myself of how beautiful they can be."

"I'm coming with you."

Anders furrowed his brow about to protest but Morrigan's glare was enough to keep him quiet. He just continued up the stairs and pushed the door to the roof open. He moved to the chair that Zevran had dragged up there months ago and gestured for Morrigan to sit down.

She snorted, "You don't have to pretend to be a gentleman with me, Anders. I'm your sister remember."

"Is it that hard to believe that I'm trying to be nice to you?"

"Yes," came the curt reply.

Anders chuckled, "Well, the chair does look wet, must have rained while we were gone. Feel better now?"

Morrigan tipped the chair forward and let the water runoff the seat before sitting down. Anders had walked over to the parapet and was lying down on it. "What are you doing, you fool. You'll fall."

"I haven't fallen yet. And I came up here to see the stars, not listen to your mouth."

"And here I thought you were trying to be nice to me."

"Apparently, I'm over it." Anders let his mind drift as the light faded from the sky and the first stars started twinkling in the night sky. He was grateful for Morrigan's silence as he tried to capture some of the wonder he had always felt when looking at the stars.

He felt as if a great weight had lifted from him over the last week. Finishing the notes, helping Zev, even fixing things with Sareyna all seemed to give him a peace he hadn't known in a long time. This was his home and these people were his friends, not because they had to be, but because they chose to be. Life tasted just a bit sweeter this evening.

Anders wanted to ask Morrigan about Nathaniel, about how long it would be before the two of them quit being idiots and fixed the rift between them, but he had no desire to argue tonight. Tonight he just wanted to enjoy the peace and quiet and to enjoy being home.


	34. Chapter 34

**Contentment **

Sareyna was happy about the way things at the Keep had been going. Nathaniel had taken to his new responsibilities like a fish to water. Sareyna had been worried it would make him too serious, but perhaps feeling that he was truly trusted he flourished, relaxed and efficient.

He and Morrigan still couldn't seem to see eye to eye. The two of them would seem fine for a few days which would inevitably be followed by an argument and several days of silence between them before the cycle started all over again. Thankfully, they were both rather private about their personal lives and other than hearing the occasional screaming match no one was dragged into their drama.

Anders and Sigrun kept each other company for several weeks before amicably parting ways when she became infatuated with a young elven woman who had started working at the Keep. True to her word, Anders sported a very beautiful griffon tattoo on his chest, which he enjoyed showing off, along with the rest of his tattoos.

He spent most of his evenings and early nights on the roof of the Keep watching the stars and pointing out all the ones he knew to anyone who would join him. He told Sareyna once that he was trying to learn a new constellation every night. She spent several nights up there with him watching the stars glitter in the sky.

She had been surprised to learn that most nights Zevran and Trelain were up on the roof with Anders. Trelain had apparently taken quite a liking to Ser Pounce-A-Lot and whether he wanted to admit it or not, it was clear Anders had taken quite the liking to Trelain as well.

Sareyna spent many evenings watching Alistair and Zevran playing with Trelain. She was glad that the child had people who cared about him so much, as time went by her aversion to him lessened as she thought less and less about the time that she had spent with Urthemiel in the Fade.

The only seeming hold over was that the boy now actively sought out the company of Zevran. You were as likely to see him with the child on his back as you were to see him without the boy. If anything Zevran had become even more fiercely protective of the boy, often questioning Eveleen on what exactly she had planned for the day.

Sareyna had tried talking to him about it several times but it had just made him indignant. She tried to accommodate his desire to spend time with the child so she kept him busy with preparations for the fighters who would be coming to the tournament the Warden's were hosting.

He directed the clean up and preparation of the abandoned houses to hold the participants as well as all the preparations of the training yards. She even tasked him with getting messages to the Alienages, the Orzammar casteless as well as to the Mages' collective about their upcoming recruitment trip. Zevran's connections were turning out to be an invaluable resource.

Sareyna wrote letters, to Fergus with as much news as she dared tell him as well as a notice of the upcoming tournament and her impending visit to Highever's Alienage. Another letter to the Circle to tell them of her need for mages, though she was sure they would refuse her. She wrote to Maric, unsure of when he would get it, but wanting to update him on Warden business and wanting desperately to know how things went with him. And a letter to Oswyn at the Palace to see if there were any promising petty thieves languishing in the dungeons, much to Alistair's chagrin.

She trained every day, drills and sparring as well as trying new weapons, daggers and swords, even a few bows. She spent a lot of time training with Nathaniel, improving his skills with daggers as he helped her fire a bow and actually hit something useful.

It took her some time to get used to Nathaniel's understated humor, but as time went on she enjoyed spending time with him more and more. Which was a good thing since her bow work was so awful, almost as bad as his blade work. The two of them provided Anders with many afternoons of entertainment as he laughed at them both.

Oghren took some time away from the Wardens to go be with his wife Felsi and his daughter. Sareyna was happy to let him go; glad he was trying to make things work with the two of them. She could have sworn that he looked nervous as he left the Keep.

The biggest surprise might have been Justice, she had never really seen him as a great conversationalist but both Anders and Nathaniel sat and spoke with him for hours on end. Anders seemed to frustrate the spirit a great deal, but the next day he would be back across the table from Anders deep in conversation.

As far as Nathaniel and Justice it seemed mostly curiosity on both of their parts. Nathaniel was patient in a way no one else in the Keep had managed with the spirit; he never seemed to tire of the endless questions. And Nathaniel seemed to have as many questions to ask in return.

Justice also began to frequently make trips to Amaranthine to visit Aura. Sareyna wasn't sure what to say at first, but felt it would be wrong of her to interfere. She had spent a great deal of time impressing upon him that Aura might not take kindly to seeing her husband's corpse as it was becoming more worn. Finally, sure that he understood she agreed to let him make the trip. He seemed lighter somehow after that first visit and returned many times thereafter.

They had not heard from the Warden's in Weisshapt in months and Sareyna was content to let sleeping dogs lie while she entrenched herself into her new life. She spent as much time as she could with Alistair and Zevran, finally feeling free to be herself completely. She and Zevran would sit on the fence of the training yard and remark about the _prowess_ of other women in their sparring bouts. Zevran was tickled to see that their tastes were quite similar.

She and Alistair tackled Warden paperwork together before starting their day. Breakfast was always a great incentive to finish quickly and it made the rest of the day pass easier if they didn't have it hanging over their head. Alistair was excited about the tournament and spoke often of the one he had been in before he became a Grey Warden.

He had a lot of ideas of what the tournament should include as well as qualities that they should search for. Sareyna enjoyed listening to him, she knew most of what he was looking for came straight from Duncan's ideas and that suited her just fine. Alistair could look for heart while she looked for skill; she had an idea that they were going to make a great team when it came to recruiting Wardens.

Morrigan wasn't as easily able to relax as everyone else. She still worried incessantly about Flemeth seeking her out. She dragged Anders to her room over and over again to pick over his brain for possible solutions. There wasn't a day that went by that Sareyna didn't see Morrigan headed to Anders' room with another stack of books.

Anders had joked with her that he hadn't studied that much even in the Circle but his jest fell on deaf ears. As the days flew by for everyone else it was more and more clear just how worried Morrigan was, she was never more than a wrong word away from an angry outburst.

At least once a week she accused Anders of being a clown and insisting that her death was going to be on his head. Anders took it all in stride reading every book she gave him and making copious notes. On Saturdays the two of them would go out to the training yard and he would teach her everything he had learned from the research as well as trying to master the techniques himself.

He helped her put up wards in her room to keep her from the Fade so she could sleep a bit easier. The two of them spent many mornings huddled over the breakfast table together as they tried to come up with some possible weak points of Flemeth's. She grilled him every chance she got trying to make sure he was doing everything he could to help her; even going so far as to get angry about the time he spent with others at the Keep including Sareyna and Justice.

Eventually, Anders had enough. He put his foot down and told her he would read anything she wished him to and he would be more than happy to help her on Saturdays but that the rest of the week was his to do with as he wished. He had an idea in the works but she needed to give him time or he would get burned out. Reluctantly, Morrigan agreed.

There were still a few reports of lingering Darkspawn around the Arling, Sareyna set up two groups to take care of them. Sigrun led one group and Alistair lead the other. The two of them never had a hard time finding Wardens who volunteered for the duty.

On the few occasions when the two groups needed to be deployed simultaneously it always worked to stroke Anders' already over inflated ego when they fought over who would take him. More than once Sareyna had made Alistair and Sigrun draw straws much to everyone's amusement.

Morrigan's healing was already pretty good and was constantly improving but it was unrealistic to think she would be as good as Anders. Not even Wynne, who had studied Spirit Healing her whole life, was as gifted as Anders when it came to healing. Sareyna was constantly reminded of how lucky the Wardens were to have him.

Venders started showing up to the Keep a few days before the Tournament began. Shannon was all too happy to help them set up their stalls to sell food and drink. Her kitchen staff was not equipped to handle such a large crowd as would be showing up for the tournament.

Nathaniel had doubled the size of the staff for the duration of the tournament and they were all scurrying around the Keep making all the last minute preparations. Sareyna couldn't help but feel a giddy rush of excitement as the day grew near.

She jogged down the hall to Nathaniel's office and knocked on the door.

"Enter."

She opened the door and peeked her head in. Nathaniel glanced up and saw her then pushed the chair backwards standing up quickly. "Commander."

She smiled and walked in, "Oh, relax Nathaniel. I just wanted to ask if you hired any entertainment for the tournament."

Nathaniel nodded, "Of course, Commander. A few minstrels and the lieutenant told me you fancied dancers so I brought in a troupe of dancers as well."

Sareyna giggled, "Fancied? Ah, Nathaniel running the Arling suits you."

He gave her a small smile, "And not running it seems to suit you. You seem to smile a lot more now."

"Then I guess it worked out for everyone. You are going to be watching the tournament with us aren't you? I could use your input."

He shrugged, "Not sure how much help I can be."

"Didn't you train in the Free Marches to take over your father's garrison?"

He nodded.

"Then I would guess you know what to look for. I'll make it an order if I have to."

He nodded, "Of course I'll be there if you request it."

"Good." Sareyna turned and left heading straight for the roof. She had a date with a sky full of stars and four blonde haired men. She took the steps two at a time and couldn't help grinning like a fool at the sight that greeted her.

Alistair, Zevran, Anders and Trelain were already up there, the three men sitting on a blanket they had brought up with them. Trelain stood next to Zevran his hand fisted in Zevran's hair with Zevran's hand supporting his back so the little boy wouldn't fall. He was deep in conversation with Alistair and Anders. Sareyna couldn't help but just watch them for a few moments before she crossed the roof to join them.

Perhaps happiness didn't need to be fleeting, on nights like tonight she could almost believe it.


	35. Chapter 35

**Long Lost**

The first day of the tournament bored Sareyna to tears. There was no immediacy to it, you got a few seconds of action followed by several minutes of boredom during which the knights readied themselves for another pass. Sareyna craved the close combat of swords ringing, first blood and primal screams.

Nathaniel and Alistair had both insisted on the jousting however. They felt it would help them determine the character of those involved, would they shy from danger or would they meet it head on, as it were. Varel and Garavel were keeping track of the entrants so Sareyna was free to let her mind wander as she wished.

The celebrations that night couldn't come fast enough. She longed to dance, to laugh, it had been far too long since she had experienced that kind of revelry without something dark and sinister hanging over her head. It was late into the night and she was fairly deep into her cups when she heard a laugh she would know even in the vastness of the Fade.

She jerked out of Alistair's arms and spun towards the door. There he stood, resplendent in Cousland blue. He spoke with a man she didn't recognize but she didn't care. She dashed across the main hall and threw her arms around him. He grunted as her body collided with his and he wrapped his arms around her. Feeling suddenly like a little girl she let go a flood of tears, she felt so deliriously happy.

"Pup, are you alright?"

She nodded but didn't release him. He laughed again, "Pardon me ser; it appears my sister has missed me."

"Of course," came a low rumbling from behind her.

Still clinging to him, Fergus walked her a bit away from the press of bodies in the main hall and refectory. He tried to peel her off. He laughed again, "Pup, let me go so I can see you."

She released him finally, smoothing her hands over her rumpled dress as she did so and smiled up at him. Fergus was nearly as tall as Anders and for a moment she could almost forget all that had happened during the Blight.

"Still can't keep a dress looking neat, I see."

She shrugged, "It was sacrificed for a good cause."

"Indeed it was." He wiped a tear off her cheek with his thumb.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were in Denerim keeping the country running smoothly."

"Maric returned a few days ago, I rode straight here. I had to see you and I thought your tournament was excuse enough to avoid Highever for just a little longer." His smile was still in place but she saw the pain flicker in his eyes as he spoke.

"Stay as long as you like."

"I just might take you up on that little sis." He looked around, "I don't recognize half of these people."

"You wouldn't, more than half aren't nobles. The tournament is for anyone."

Fergus grinned, "Why am I not surprised? Still rooting for the little man?"

"Or woman."

Fergus laughed again and hugged her tight, "Have I told you yet that I missed you?" he sighed, "Highever isn't the same without you terrorizing everyone."

Alistair, Zevran and Anders seemed to have finally spotted the duo and headed for them. Fergus quirked a brow, "You really weren't kidding when you said at least three."

Sareyna elbowed him hard in the ribs, "I'll have you know I stopped at two."

"So glad you showed restraint. So who's the tall one?"

She furrowed her brow, "How did you know it was Zev?"

"I was at your wedding, remember? I saw the way he watched you that night. And if it wasn't him he wouldn't be smiling like that."

"Hmmm. The tall one's Anders. He's a very talented mage." She gave him a small smile, "And yes, he's your type."

Fergus blanched, "Oh, 'Reyna. I can't, I haven't…I just can't."

"Just company if you want Fergus, he's funny, and sweet in an odd way. I think you'll like him, just a little entertainment."

The three men stopped in front of them and Anders grinned immediately, "This must be Fergus."

"She talks about me?"

Anders nodded, "A bit, but you two look quite a bit alike. Although, the broad shoulders look better on you."

"Hey!" Sareyna mock slapped Anders' arm.

He smirked at her, "And hopefully you're not as violent as she is," he paused and looked to Fergus dropping a wink, "Unless, of course, you're into that sort of thing. In which case, I'd be happy to oblige."

Fergus couldn't stop a smile.

"Told you." Sareyna grinned.

Fergus shook his head, "Where is…" he took a deep breath. "Where is Nathaniel?"

Sareyna gripped Fergus' forearm. "You be nice to him. He's a good man, no matter what his father did."

Fergus nodded, "We were friends once. I'd like to think I could be civil."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm a Teryn for Maker's sake 'Reyna, I would hope a little courtesy wasn't beyond me."

Sareyna bowed her head slightly, "Fine." She took his arm and led him into the refectory, followed by the others. Nathaniel stood almost entirely cloaked in shadows sipping from a glass of wine, an enigmatic smile touching his lips.

As his eyes caught Sareyna's she gave a short jerk of her head. He looked beyond her and Sareyna was sure he blanched just a little. Nathaniel pushed off the wall and crossed to them setting his wine down on the way. He stopped a few feet in front of them and gave Sareyna a small smile she was sure was meant to be reassuring, even if it wasn't.

"Nathaniel, this is," she started.

Nathaniel held out his hand, "Teryn Cousland, a pleasure to see you again, ser."

Sareyna stepped aside and a muscle twitched along her brother's jaw before he reached out and took Nathaniel's hand. "And you as well." The shake was abbreviated but at least there didn't seem to be any open animosity between the two. "I hear that archery is scheduled for tomorrow, will you be participating?"

Nathaniel nodded, "I will, your sister insists."

Fergus turned a fond smile to Sareyna, "Is he still as good as he used to be?"

She gave him a long suffering smile, "Better."

"Really, perhaps I will have to watch. I brought a couple archers of my own. Is there still time enough to enter them?"

"Of course, right up until the first round, milord." Nathaniel answered smoothly.

Anders moved so he was standing between Nathaniel and Fergus. He gripped each of their elbows. "I would love some wine, I'm terribly thirsty. Won't you both join me?" With that he led them both away chattering across the whole room.

"Are you sure that was wise?" Alistair asked.

Sareyna shook her head, "No, but I think Anders has it covered."

"You do know he's going to try to sleep with your brother?"

Sareyna smiled at Alistair, "I hope he succeeds."

Alistair laughed, "You really are awful."

"Fergus occasionally enjoys the company of men, and he has a fondness for laughter and tattoos. Is it so wrong that I want him to enjoy himself?"

"Won't there be a problem if it's learned that the Teryn of Highever has taken a man as a lover?"

"Still innocent in so many ways Alistair. No, no one would bat an eye so long as he marries again and tries to produce an heir at some point. You'd be surprised how many nobles have lovers on the side. I'm more surprised when they don't."

Zevran nodded, "She has a point Tesoro, in that respect Ferelden is not so different from other countries, though they seem more tightlipped about it in this country."

Sareyna spent her evening dancing with more people than she cared to count. Eventually, the constant dancing and the wine glass that never managed to be empty were too much for her and Alistair politely excused them both from the celebrations and helped her out of the room. Once they were clear from any prying eyes he picked her up and carried her up the stairs.

When he tried to carry her into the room she stopped him, "Wait, Anders and Fergus have been gone for a while."

Alistair frowned, "Please tell me you're not planning on spying on them."

She looked at him indignantly, "No, I just want to know if they're in Anders' room." She walked as quiet as she was able down the hall way until she was leaning on the wall next to Anders door. She heard both of them inside, Anders voice was quiet, almost soothing while her brother was making moaning noises.

Covering her mouth to hide her laughter she hurried back down the hall to her own door where Alistair dragged her inside.

"You're absolutely awful, you know that? Subjecting your poor brother to Anders, that man has seduced more people than I've ever met."

She laughed as Alistair closed the door, "Shows what you know, Fergus could give him a run for his money, or at least he could have before he got married. Trust me; Fergus never does anything that he doesn't want to."

"And just what are you hoping to accomplish with this?"

Sareyna collapsed into a chair and started pulling off her shoes, "I'm hoping they both have a very enjoyable evening."

"That's all?"

"Yes, and then I hope Fergus stays for the whole tournament."

Alistair suddenly laughed, "So you're using Anders to bribe your brother to get him to stay here?"

She gave Alistair a sour look, "No, I just…" She giggled, "Oh my, I feel like madam or something."

Alistair helped her out of her dress, "You should, what would Duncan say. You prostituting out Wardens to curry favor with the nobility."

Sareyna couldn't stop laughing; Alistair helped her out of her smalls as she tried desperately to stop laughing only to have another thought strike her. "Is Alfstanna still downstairs? Maybe we should ask Zevran to keep her company."

Alistair laughed for a few seconds before shaking his head. "I don't think so," he caressed Sareyna's cheek as she started to climb into bed. "I'm still a jealous man. I don't want Zevran with anyone besides the two of us."

"Have you told him?"

"Not in those words, but he knows how I feel about it. Why? Are you alright with him being with other people?"

Sareyna pulled the blankets over herself, "No, it would hurt, but I also don't want him to change who he is just to make me happy."

Alistair kissed her forehead, "I'll be back." He headed for the door, "Besides, he doesn't want anyone else."

Sareyna smiled, "Really?"

Alistair nodded, "Really, now go to sleep." With that he closed the door to the sitting room.

Sareyna felt warm and not just from the wine, she hadn't realized that the thought of Zevran having sex with someone else had bothered her that much. She felt they were selfish thoughts, but it felt good to know she didn't have to worry about it anymore.

It was a good night, Zevran only wanted them, Alistair was completely comfortable with their relationship finally, her brother was visiting and he was enjoying himself. Did life get better than that?


	36. Chapter 36

**Simple Pleasures**

The next morning as Sareyna ate breakfast with the other Wardens and some of their guests Anders came into the refectory practically glowing. He tapped Zevran on the shoulder and asked him to move down so he could sit next to Sareyna. She watched him as he sat down, a smile plastered on his face that he couldn't seem to stop.

He leaned close to Sareyna and dropped his voice low. "Your brother is simply delightful, 'Reyna. I think I know why I remind you of him." He chuckled a little as he reached to start filling his plate from the platters down the middle of the table.

"I'm glad you two enjoyed each other's company."

"Yes, it rather seems all that time spent running the Teyrnir leaves him with a desire to have someone else take control for a while. I was happy to help the poor man out."

Sareyna elbowed Anders, "Do remember he's my brother and though I'm glad you two got on so well, I have no desire to hear about it."

Anders laughed, "Fair enough." He quieted down and ate for several moments before he looked at Sareyna a bit more seriously. "I do want to thank you. I think we both needed a bit of a break from the rigors of real life for a while. I'm hoping he won't mind my company for the remainder of his stay."

"Where is Fergus?"

Anders sighed, "He slipped out of my room before dawn. Didn't want to cause a scene I suppose. Although, I am beginning to think that I am lacking in hospitality. I can't seem to get anyone to stay the night with me." He gave a mock pout before he quieted, it seemed a sudden thought struck him and he blanched a little. "Do you think your brother spending time talking with a mage would cause problems for him?"

Sareyna was surprised by Anders concern. "I don't think so."

Anders shook his head, "Justice is right. I'm completely selfish, I didn't think about him having to rule some of these people when he leaves here. Maker, how many people do you think saw me take him to my room last night." Anders raked a hand back through his hair. "I was in a robe and everything; selfish, selfish Anders and his pleasures." Abruptly, he stood up to leave.

Sareyna caught his arm, "Anders, calm down. My brother is a grown man; he knows what he's doing."

Anders looked torn, "I got him really drunk, 'Reyna." He pulled his arm free. "Apologize to him for me?" With that he headed towards the door.

"Anders!" Sareyna debated following him for a moment, but she had some things she had to take care of before the day's events started. She finished her breakfast quickly before heading to her office. There was a letter on the top of the pile from Weisshapt. Sareyna had been ignoring it for nearly a week. She picked it up and turned it over deciding what to do with it.

Eventually, she put it back on her desk, deciding not to read it until the tournament was over with. She heard a soft knock at the door; she called for whoever it was to enter, figuring it was either Alistair or Zevran come to collect her for the day's events.

"Hello pup."

She looked up from the complaint from Mistress Woolsey she had been reading with a smile on her face. She stood and crossed to him, letting him pull her into a hug. He tugged her ponytail lightly as he let her go.

"Still wearing this dreadful thing I see."

"It's practical." She led him over to the comfortable chairs near the fire and gestured for him to sit down and she joined him. "Besides, it's fast and easy."

Fergus smirked, "You always liked fast and easy."

She returned the smile, "I have too much to do to worry about elaborate hairstyles."

Fergus nodded, "Fair enough." He looked into the fire for some moments clearly thinking about something. Sareyna was happy to just be with him so kept her peace until he spoke again. He looked up at her with soft eyes, looking almost vulnerable. "I didn't see Anders at breakfast this morning."

"He ate before you awoke."

Fergus nodded but didn't say anything.

"He's worried about what people will think of you spending time with him because he's a mage."

Fergus scowled, "I don't care about that. Didn't you tell him I wouldn't care?"

"He's worried about what the people will say because you need to be able to go back to Highever to rule them."

Fergus sighed, "I like him. I enjoyed talking with him as much as anything else. He's nothing like I pictured a Circle mage to be." He smiled a little, "Though, as he tells it, he wasn't much of a Circle mage anyways."

"He makes a much better Warden."

"He does seem to fit here quite well. And he cares about you a great deal." Fergus smiled, "He said you told him that he reminds you of me."

Sareyna nodded, "He does, he's smart, funny and has a bigger heart than he's willing to admit."

"I was looking forward to spending the day with him. He's witty and charming, and I could use a little wit and charm in my life right now."

"I can talk to him."

Fergus shook his head, "And what, order him to spend time with me? How sad would that be? No, if he would rather not see me again, I understand."

"Maybe you should talk to him."

"I don't know Sareyna; I feel a little odd about the whole thing. I don't want him to feel like it's his job to keep me company. Maker knows half of what I like about him so much is that he treated me no differently than anyone else. It's was refreshing."

Sareyna sighed and sat back, "Trust me Fergus, no one can make Anders do something he doesn't want to. If he doesn't want to keep you company while you're here, he'll tell you. He's just that kind of man." She smiled, "Another reason he reminds me of you. I understand Anders' appeal more than you think. He's been my sanity more times than I can count."

Fergus gave her a small smile and stood up. "Then, I think I'll track him down, gossips be damned."

Sareyna laughed and stood up as well. "I need to go find my men and see what they're up to."

Fergus paused, "How are things with you?"

Sareyna laughed, "I had my cake and ate it to. Alistair is all the things I could never admit I wanted in a relationship, sweet, kind, caring, protective." She shook her head and sighed softly, "A knight in shining armor, really. Well mostly, he's anything but in some respects." She gave Fergus a grin and he groaned. "And Zevran is the opposite cliché, a rake, a bad boy, a man who hid his heart. My life has become a twisted romance novel, and I love it."

Fergus smiled, "A romance novel with two male leads and Darkspawn. There's an interesting concept."

They both laughed as they left her office. "I'll see you out on the dais in a bit Fergus, hopefully, with my wayward mage in tow."

"I hope so."

* * *

Alistair watched as Fergus walked down the stairs next to Anders, laughing and clapping him on the shoulder. Alistair was transfixed watching them, Anders looked so different. He was wearing trousers and a lightweight tunic. His hair was down but braided back on the sides similar to how Zevran usually wore his hair. His boots were highly polished and he wore no jewelry at all.

Zevran touched Alistair's shoulder, "Tesoro, you should stop gawking."

"Do you see him? Why is he dressed like that?" Alistair scowled, "Anders hates trousers."

Zevran shrugged, "Perhaps he is wearing them for Fergus."

"I hope Fergus doesn't get the wrong idea about Anders."

"And what idea would that be?"

Alistair turned to Zevran, "Oh, come on, you know how Anders is. I just don't want Fergus to be disappointed if, well what if Fergus has feelings for him?"

Zevran chuckled, "Did you ever think it was just two men who enjoyed each other's company doing exactly that?"

"I suppose. You know I've barely spoken with Fergus, I was hoping to get to know him a bit better. We should probably both get to know him better."

Zevran laughed, "If you want."

Alistair scowled, "We're family shouldn't we get to know each other better?"

Zevran nodded, "I suppose, but maybe the tournament isn't the best time for that. Fergus is enjoying himself, from what 'Reyna said, he needs it. Can you imagine trying to clean up Highever after what Howe did to his family? Let him have some frivolous fun, Tesoro."

Alistair smiled at Zevran, "You're right, as usual. I think I'm just worried about him being upset with us. 'Reyna said he knows about the three of us."

"And he has made no complaint, so I am not worried, nor should you be. Ah, and here is our lady now." He turned to Sareyna who was returning from the kitchens with a small cloth sack. "And just what have you got in there, Querida?"

Sareyna smiled, "I've been craving sweets all day. Shannon had some chocolate and made these wonderful cookies with it. She cut it up into pieces and put it in." She opened the small sack and handed them each one. "You have to try it."

Zevran took a bite and closed his eyes with relish, chewing the cookie slowly making low noises of satisfaction.

Alistair's whole face lit up as he ate it, "Those are amazing. We need to give that woman a raise." He laughed.

"Believe me, if I thought I could sneak it past Woolsey I would." She took Alistair's arm when he offered it and the three of them headed out to the dais to watch the archery contest.

As they settled in Zevran leaned over and whispered into her ear, "Don't let me forget that I have a surprise for you this afternoon." He kissed her on the cheek and turned his attention back to the field as the contest started.

* * *

None of the Wardens were surprised when Nathaniel won the contest, but there were several very promising archers from those who competed with him. One of Fergus' men among them, the other two were hunters from near Amaranthine. Nathaniel declined the purse that was offered to him, asking that it be split between the three who had placed behind him, causing the crowd to go suddenly silent.

Sareyna was worried that it would be seen as an insult, but after a few moments of shocked silence the crowd erupted in whoops and hollers as they cheered Nathaniel's decision. Cheeks flaring red in embarrassment Nathaniel quickly quit the field only to be accosted by people who wanted to congratulate him and praise his generosity. Howe or not he made friends that night.

Sareyna invited all three of the men to dinner with her and the Wardens that night. She wanted to get to know them all a little better before making a decision whether or not to make any of them Wardens. She also wanted Nathaniel's expert opinion before she talked to any of them.

As the archery equipment was being pulled from the field Alistair slipped away. Sareyna was more than a little surprised when he walked into the middle of the field some twenty minutes later. He was dressed in the leather and chainmail armor that Wade had made for him. The sword he carried was Vigilance, another creation by Wade and the shield he held was Duncan's.

Sareyna turned to Zevran, "Did you know about this? What's he doing?"

Zevran just smiled, "Watch Querida."

Alistair issued a challenge to all comers and Sareyna cringed as a line formed to face her husband. There weren't many serious injuries at Tournaments any more, but that didn't mean they didn't happen at all. She was sitting forward gripping the wooden rail in front of her. She felt a gentle touch on her back and turned to see Anders standing there.

He leaned down and whispered in her ear. "I'll go down there, just in case, alright? Relax; you're going to break that rail."

Sareyna laughed in relief. "Thank you, Anders."

He dropped a wink and disappeared off the dais.

The first warrior entered the field to challenge Alistair. The fight was over almost before it had even begun. Alistair, who had always been fast, was lightning quick in the lighter armor. As she watched him cut down opponent after opponent Sareyna started to relax.

Zevran slid his hand onto her thigh and squeezed lightly, "Watch him, Querida, watch how he moves, fast, strong, deadly. Is he not the sexiest man you have ever seen?"

As Sareyna watched him, watched how his body moved, watched how he took out his opponents with seeming ease, she found he was indeed the sexiest man she had ever seen. He had the sheer power of a warrior and wielded it brilliantly, but in the lighter armor he also utilized his speed as she and Zevran had taught him. The man was all power and grace and it took her breath away. Sareyna felt her breathing speed up as she watched him.

She could feel herself flush and heard Zevran's gentle laughter from beside her. "Good to know I'm not the only one enjoying this performance perhaps a little too much." He discreetly brought her hand to his lap, pressing it against the evidence of exactly how much he was enjoying Alistair's display of raw masculinity. Zevran's voice dropped a bit lower as he moved close to her ear, "And he's all ours."

Sareyna nodded, "What's scheduled after this?" She couldn't tear her eyes off of Alistair.

"They're setting up the field for some horsemanship exercises."

"Good, I think we're going to have to help Alistair wash down after his exertions." Her tone and slick smile made it clear exactly what she was planning on doing with their warrior.

The fight seemed to rage on and on and though Alistair was showing clear signs of tiring he had yet to be defeated. Sareyna watched as another man walked off the field and another man walked on. The new opponent seemed a bit shorter than the others and she wondered if it was an elf. The large armor made it impossible to tell, but Sareyna was interested to find out.

It was only a few minutes into the battle when Sareyna realized this one was going to be different. The newcomer matched Alistair blow for blow and never gave an inch. She watched a smile form on Alistair's lips, he was enjoying the challenge, none of the warriors currently at the Keep were much of a challenge anymore, he knew all of their moves and how they thought.

His only source of new training with a warrior had been with Justice and it hadn't taken Alistair very long to adapt to the unique abilities that Justice had. Alistair spent most of his time training with the rogues at the Keep because at least their speed made it more difficult for him. Now here was this new opponent who was challenging him.

Alistair actually laughed when the warrior knocked him backwards a few steps, but he came back with a more aggressive attack and took back the ground he had ceded. The new challenge seemed to reinvigorate Alistair as you couldn't even tell he had been fighting for nearly an hour before his latest opponent. He moved light on his feet, around the smaller warrior.

Sareyna stood up out of her chair when Alistair was knocked to his back. The other warrior seemed to think the fight was over as they started to lower their weapon but Alistair was back on his feet in a blink thanks to the lightweight armor. He caught the warrior off guard and knocked them to the ground and leveled his sword at the prone warrior's throat.

The warrior raised his hand, conceding defeat. Alistair helped him to his feet with a smile and brought him over to the dais. "Let the Commander see you."

There was a moment's hesitation before the warrior pulled off his helm. A tumble of dark red hair spilled free and a moment later it was clear that the warrior was in fact a woman. Sareyna laughed delightedly and bowed to the woman. The crowd cheered raucously seeing her.

"That was some amazing work out there."

The woman shook her head, "He's bloody fast."

"He is, what's your name?"

"Whitney, ser."

"Would you join me and the Wardens for dinner this evening?"

Whitney looked uncertain for moment before nodding, "I would be honored."

"Excellent, I look forward to speaking with you."

Whitney quickly left the field and Alistair moved back to the center of the field to face the last few opponents. He was never beaten though he did come close during the last battle. The fatigue was clearly getting the best of him at the end and when he finally stepped off the field to wild cheering his relief was clear to see.

Sareyna and Zevran met him at the corner of the field as he walked towards them with Anders.

"Doesn't he look awfully tired, Anders? There's another event today, maybe you could help him out." Sareyna struggled in vain to keep a straight face.

Anders laughed, "Sure." He looked around and when he was sure no one was looking he cast a quick spell.

Sareyna's smile collapsed, "Anders, I don't want you to be hiding your magic, it's nothing to be ashamed of."

Anders smiled, "I'm just being discreet while Fergus is here, I know he feels the same way you do, but I want to make it easier on him if I can." Sareyna watched him for a moment still looking uncertain. "It's fine, really 'Reyna. It's my choice."

Sareyna sighed, "Alright."

"Now go enjoy your husband." He shooed her off as he walked back to the dais where Fergus was clearly waiting for him.

Sareyna headed inside with her two men to enjoy a little recreation of their own.


	37. Chapter 37

**More Than Wardens**

That evening dinner was more subdued than the night before. A feast was held for the guests but the Wardens and their potential recruits had dinner separately. Sareyna had not been surprised to see Fergus enter with Anders, she was glad to see him in fact. Fergus had many years fighting and she wanted all the input she could get before making any decisions.

She was pretty sure already that she wanted Whitney. Although, when the woman came to dinner a small voice in her head said Whitney was going to be trouble. Not that the trouble would come from Whitney, Sareyna was more concerned with how the men would act around her.

She was gorgeous, even Sareyna found herself staring at the woman. She was a little on the short side but she had some beautiful curves. Her full breasts, flared hips and round bottom that had been concealed in her armor were showcased nicely in the dress that she had chosen for the dinner. It was a modest affair but was obviously tailored for her and fit her closely.

The emerald color of the dress was magnificent with her deep red locks and her deep blue eyes. Sareyna glanced around the room and realized that everyone was watching her. "Maker, she's going to be a problem." She muttered quietly.

Zevran nodded, "She is stunning, but she's a damn good warrior, Querida. Don't write her off because of her looks."

"Oh, I wasn't planning on it. I was just remarking that she was going to cause problems. Look at all these guys drooling over her. Do you know where she's from?"

Zevran smirked, "She's another bastard for the fold. Father was a noble, mother was a serving girl. Father had no interest in a bastard child and sent both mother and daughter away. When she was old enough to understand what happened she started teaching herself how to fight. She even joined a local Bann's garrison."

Sareyna nodded, "Still bitter?"

Zevran shook his head, "Not from what I've learned, she's channeled it into her training and discipline."

Sareyna nodded and turned to look at the archers who were milling about talking as they waited for dinner to be served. "What do you think, Zev?"

"I like the one that placed third. His name's Desmond." Zevran pressed his lips together for a moment. "I cannot give an explanation other than he would be the best fit."

"Do the other two have problems?"

"Not per se, the archer from your brother's retinue is looking for glory; he thinks he'll find it in the Wardens."

Sareyna sighed, "Yeah, that never goes well."

"I'm sure it's something he can overcome. The other hunter seems a good enough man, but he has a family back home that obviously need him to survive."

Sareyna nodded, she would talk with them all, make sure that they understood that this was a lifetime commitment. Alistair and Zevran started talking about that afternoon's tournament events and Sareyna excused herself to go speak with Nathaniel.

Not surprisingly his appraisal actually echoed Zevran's, although he had another reason for wanting Desmond. "He's actually the better archer out of the three. He was less easily distracted than the other two. You need focus to be an archer in combat situations, much more than with just hunting. Fergus' archer is only used to ranged fighting. I'm not sure he would do well in a close combat situation."

"What about you? You're not nearly as good in close combat as you are at ranged."

He smiled, "True, but I wouldn't have recruited myself either."

Sareyna furrowed her brow, "But wouldn't a soldier be a better fighter than a hunter?"

Nathaniel shook his head, "Not always, but give them all a chance, maybe see what we can teach them all first."

"Thanks Nathaniel."

Nathaniel nodded and crossed to where Sigrun was sitting at the table. Sareyna turned to find herself face to face with Morrigan. She smiled, "Hey Morri, how are you?"

Morrigan sighed, "I still have no answers about Flemeth. There are at least a hundred strangers milling around the Keep all day making noise, so I am feeling a bit on edge. How much longer are we going to have all of these people here?"

"Tomorrow is the last day."

"What else is there?"

"Group melee apparently, then it will all be over with."

"Do you think any of these people will be joining?"

Sareyna nodded, "I'd like to have them all take the Joining. We need to bolster our numbers, quickly."

"You're asking that woman, right?"

"Absolutely."

Morrigan nodded, "Wonderful." Though her tone made it clear she thought it was anything but.

"If you're worried about her Morrigan, kiss and make up with our resident archer before he's stolen away."

"I will not be coerced into anything. Perhaps it would be better if she did 'steal him away' as you put it. We cannot seem to reach an accord. The man is positively obstinate."

Sareyna chuckled, "As opposed to you."

Morrigan sniffed, "That's different, I'm right."

"Oh, well pardon me."

"Your sarcasm does you no justice. Speaking of which, where have you been hiding him during the festivities? I haven't seen him in a few days."

"I didn't think he would instill confidence in our more casual attendees so we decided he would stay in one of the Keeps' out buildings. He is in one of the houses, a bit away from where anyone might easily spot him. He's staying there until I send for him."

"A wise choice."

"It feels mean."

"Justice is practical, I am sure he understands the need for prudence where he is concerned." She paused for a moment. "I had occasion to meet your brother today."

"Oh, and how did that go?"

"I am not sure, he seemed nice enough. However, he blanched when Anders giddily told him I was a Witch of the Wilds. After that he excused himself quite quickly. I did not take your family as a suspicious group."

"I wonder if it has something to do with the Chasind who took him in during the Blight."

"He was with the Chasind?"

"They found him and nursed him back to health."

Morrigan snorted, "And they apparently filled the poor man's head with nonsense, those superstitious fools."

Just then Shannon and several maids brought dinner in for them. Everyone quickly took their seats with no one sitting on the short ends so they would all feel like equals. Conversation fell into a lull as everyone got themselves situated and helped themselves from the platters down the center of the table.

She sat flanked by Alistair and Zevran while Fergus and Anders sat directly across from them. The possible recruits were arranged on either side of them, then the Wardens filled in the rest of the table. Once the conversation started flowing again all of the Wardens peppered the possible recruits with questions about their pasts, their training, families and reasons for wanting to be a Warden.

The answers were mostly standard though Whitney mentioned that her mother had died during the Blight. She assured them she wasn't looking for revenge, but she had seen the monsters first hand, had fought them several times during the Blight, just fighting for survival and she had decided during the Blight that fighting Darkspawn would be the best use of her skills.

"Once you've seen them up close, once you have fought against them, you can't help but want to help rid the world of them. They are monstrous in so many ways; I just hope my skill can help the Wardens in some way."

Sareyna thought of Daveth, he had been willing to give anything to save other people from the Darkspawn, but the Joining had not seen fit to spare him. She had always thought that the Wardens had lost a valuable man that day. He would have been a damn fine Warden.

She shook her head a little trying to dislodge the image of Duncan plunging his blade into Jory. She had thought the man a coward at the time, still did but for the first time she might be faced with the possibility of killing someone who refused the joining. The Wardens who sat at the table with her had become Wardens because of not having a choice as with Anders or had gone into it with open eyes like Sigrun and Oghren.

She glanced to Nathaniel; perhaps she should have been more concerned at his Joining. But she knew Nathaniel in a way; he had always had a strong sense of duty. It never seemed a real concern that he would refuse to follow through with the Joining once he accepted that she had conscripted him.

As the conversation carried on around her a realization dawned on her, not only was she recruiting people into the Wardens, she was inviting people to join her family. The people seated with her at that table were a family, bound by blood and duty, bound by loyalty and friendship. She glanced at the recruits again, this time trying to decide if she could invite these people into her family.

The decision was going to be harder than she initially thought. Her concern must have shown on her face because she felt Alistair's warm hand on her back. "'Reyna, relax, we don't have to choose yet." He kissed her cheek.

She smiled and squeezed his hand under the table. "Thank you." He was right; best to get to know them as well as possible while she had the opportunity.

As dinner finished the Wardens thanked the possible recruits for joining them. They each looked anxious as they left. When the door shut Sareyna stood up, "I don't want any thoughts right now. I want you all to think about this overnight and possibly tomorrow night as well. Remember these people will fight and bleed beside us. We will be inviting them into our home and into our lives. Skill is important, but so too is being a good fit with the rest of us Wardens. Afterall, we might be living under this roof together for a long time to come.

Your evenings are yours to do with as you please. But I would appreciate everyone being at the grand melee tomorrow. Have a good night everyone."

The other Wardens shuffled out of the formal dining room that was never really used and went about their business. Fergus and Anders stayed in the room with Sareyna, Zevran and Alistair. Sareyna gave them a surprised look. "Isn't there something the two of you wanted to do this evening?"

Anders nodded, "Zevran has a surprise for you and we want to go with you to see it."

Sareyna turned to Zevran, "I completely forgot!"

Zevran stood and took her hand, "It's alright, Querida, it has been a very long day." He led her out of the dining room across the main hall and through the kitchen. The others followed them. Sareyna had no idea where they were going.

They walked out of the kitchen and into the yard at the side of the Keep. Sareyna stopped in her tracks. "Wait, what is this?"

Zevran chuckled, "So impatient, come on and see."

He led her into the newly constructed building hidden in the front by one of the Keep's walls. "How did I not see this go up?"

Alistair smiled, "We kept you busy with other projects, and there was a lot of construction going on for the tournament. It was all Zevran's idea."

As they got closer she could see a fenced in area that was divided into several narrower sections. The fencing was of a heavy wire that Sareyna did not recognize. Zevran opened the door on the side of the new wooden building and Sareyna couldn't contain a smile. Without even seeing she knew what was in there, she would know that smell anywhere.

"Dogs." She said quietly.

Zevran just continued to pull her forward and she was surprised to see the different stalls, an area for food and training gear and another area where it seemed a bitch could be separated when it came time for her to whelp. Zevran pulled her to the stall furthest from the door; she peeked over the door to the stall and gasped in surprise and delight.

"Puppies, Zev, where did you get these?"

"I let a few people know we were looking into starting a kennel for the Grey Wardens and people were all too happy to tell me of litters and offer free puppies to the Wardens." He shook his head, "The people of Ferelden are a marvel at times."

He unlatched the door and moved inside with Sareyna. "They're ready to imprint any day now, or so I am led to believe."

Sareyna nodded, "That looks about right." She picked up the puppies and checked the sex. "Three females and two males, very nice. Are they related?"

Zevran shook his head, "All from different litters."

Sareyna smiled, "Why Zevran, it's almost like you know what you're doing."

Zevran looked to Alistair, "I may have had a bit of help."

She laughed and stood up. She hugged Zevran and moved out of the stall to hug Alistair. "Thank you both, really. This is…amazing, just amazing."

Fergus stepped into the stall and looked over the puppies, "They are wonderful looking puppies." Hepointed to the rust colored girl. "She can't be bred with Pentheryn. They have the same father."

Surprise on her face Sareyna turned to Fergus, "I thought he was too old?"

Fergus laughed, "So did I. Apparently, my new bitch didn't agree."

Sareyna grinned again and looked at Anders, "What about it Anders, willing to try your hand at being a dog person?"

Anders shook his head, "Not on your life. If they didn't reject me on principal alone, Pounce would suffocate me in my sleep."

Alistair spoke softly, "I think one of them has imprinted on someone, already." He nudged Sareyna who looked down to see the coffee colored female with black feet rubbing her head on Zevran's ankle.

Zevran noticed what they were looking at and bent to pick the girl up, "She's cute, no?" He rubbed his nose against the puppy's then put her back in the pen and closed the door. "We shall see about imprinting after the tournament." The puppy immediately began scratching at the door and barking.

"You might as well take her now Zev, she's already picked you."

"She is probably just hungry."

Sareyna laughed, she walked a few feet back from everyone else dragging Zevran with her. "Anders open the pen, won't you?"

Anders pulled open the door to the pen. All of the puppies were playing and wrestling with each other except for the coffee colored one who had been scratching at the door. As soon as the door was opened a crack she bolted out of the pen and headed straight for Zevran. She began licking his ankle again and barking happily at him.

"Take her, Zev."

Zev bent to pick the puppy up. He nuzzled it with a smile then looked at Sareyna. "Will Pen be alright with the puppy in our room?"

Sareyna nodded, "Yes, he'll know she's not mine, so it won't be a problem, besides he hardly ever sleeps in our room anymore. I can't wait to see Trelain with the puppy. That should be cute. He seems to really like Pen."

"Speaking of which, where is my nephew?"

"With Eveleen and Sloan, she's been keeping him so I can take care of all the tournament business."

Fergus nodded, "Do you have a problem with me taking him tomorrow?"

Sareyna looked to Anders anxiously; Anders gave her a small reassuring smile, "He'll be _safe_ with us, I promise."

"You don't trust your brother with your son?" Fergus was clearly hurt, "In case you forgot, I was a father."

Sareyna shook her head, "It's not that. Trelain is…" she struggled to figure out what to tell Fergus.

"He's a mage, I'm sure you can understand how that puts Sareyna and Alistair in a delicate position. They're just worried about people finding out." Anders' voice was quiet as he spoke with Fergus.

Fergus' eyes went wide, "Oh, I see. Yes, that would make anyone nervous." Fergus worried his bottom lip a little. "He's so young, but we'll be careful."

"Thank you, Fergus."

"Is that why Maric went to the Circle?"

"Partly." Sareyna conceded.

"What else was going on that he went without telling anyone?"

Anders clapped Fergus on the back, "Have I got a sordid tale for you." He dropped a wink to Sareyna before leading Fergus from the kennel.

"So Anders is going to tell our family secrets to your brother?"

Sareyna shrugged, "Well he's family too, and Fergus can keep a secret, trust me."

Alistair frowned suddenly, "I just realized my brother is sleeping with your brother. I think that makes me a bit uncomfortable."

Sareyna laughed, "Not quite incest, but I know what you mean. Let them have their fun, Fergus will probably be gone in a few days."

Zevran, with the puppy cradled against the crook of his neck, walked with them towards the door. "Are you sure, Querida? Your brother looked a lot happier today than he did when he arrived yesterday. And I believe you did invite him to stay as long as he wished."

Sareyna shrugged, "Either way, as long as they are enjoying themselves, I'm going to be happy for them."

"You don't think they're falling in love do you?" Alistair asked something akin to horror in his voice.

Sareyna laughed, "Not likely, I think they are just enjoying some time together. No, I think it will be a while before Fergus is ready to love again. And I think his title makes Anders too uncomfortable."

"Does it make me a terrible person that I'm relieved by that?"

Sareyna shook her head but Zevran gave him a mock glare, "Yes, it does. Don't you want Anders and Fergus to be happy?"

Alistair stammered for a moment before he realized Zevran was teasing him. He pushed open the door to the Keep and held it open for Zevran and Sareyna. He smiled at Zevran, "Well I guess Anders could do worse than a Teryn. If he's happy, I suppose I can be happy for him."

The three headed up the stairs still laughing.


	38. Chapter 38

**My Blades For You**

The Wardens all reported to watch the Grand Melee as instructed and as Sareyna watched them she saw that they shared her excitement. Their hopefuls were all doing fairly well. It was a loud and raucous event with the clanging of weapons and jangling of armor. It kept the blood pumping of the spectators as well as the participants. Anders and Morrigan were standing on opposite sides of the field in case there were injuries that needed to be tended.

Alistair laughed heartily as he watched Whitney in her heavy veridium armor wielding her enormous sword. She did an excellent job of keeping her opponents at bay with the greater reach the sword afforded her. And having numerous opponents did not seem to hamper her concentration, she seemed, at least skill wise, an easy choice for the Wardens.

And the archers were just as interesting to watch. Nathaniel had been right about Jaret, Fergus' man. Although he was able to fight melee he was hesitant and a little slow. He lashed out with his sword but held his dagger close to his body using it almost exclusively to block incoming attacks. Sareyna thought the man might be better off with a sword and shield.

The second hunter, Gorson, was all over the field, he was a bit of a scrapper, dodging in taking a few swipes and then dodging away again. His attacks were a bit wild and not overly effective but the other fighters were having a difficult time hitting him. There was no fear or hesitation in him as he fought, just a wild gleam that in honesty put Sareyna on edge to look at.

Desmond proved to be a welcome surprise. He stepped onto the field wielding two hand axes. He was far from being a match to any of the current dual wielders in the Wardens, but he held his own admirably. The axes seemed a natural extension of himself as he swung them in short rapid arcs. He had no fancy moves, just implacably swinging the axes one after another.

There seemed to be a control and care in every move he made. He reminded her of Nathaniel and Alistair. The two of them relied more on training than on instinct in battle. Sareyna was genuinely surprised; being a hunter she thought he would be more dependent on instincts.

Another surprise was in store for the Wardens in the form of a rather small elf. She was a tiny thing, so small in fact that Sareyna at first thought she might have been a child. She wore a light weight green leather armor and fought with weapons that Sareyna had never seen before.

Each one looked like a pair of crescent moons facing each other and overlapped. The points facing away from her were longer than the ones facing towards her. The blades looked very sharp and seemed especially useful in disarming opponents even if they didn't allow for a very long range.

Sareyna soon found herself watching the elven woman almost exclusively. The weapons were amazing, deadly, fast and versatile. And the elf moved with a wicked grace that reminded her of Zevran. Sweet Andraste it was amazing to watch her.

With the battle being a free for all it raged on for hours. As the sun started to fade from the sky the melee was called to a halt and no clear winner was named as there were still at least a dozen combatants on the field. The purse for the event was split equally among them.

Sareyna found the young elven woman sitting on the ground leaning against a tree drinking from a waterskin. Her armor was still on and her weapons were sitting beside her. She looked up in surprise as Sareyna approached her.

"Hello, I'm Sareyna. Those are some amazing weapons; I've never seen anything like them."

"My father made them for me."

"Did he design them?"

She shook her head and stood up, "Our hahren told us a story with knives like this when I was little. We moved from the alienage when I was ten and when I got old enough I asked my father to make me a set of knives like from the story." She laughed a little, "It took a bit of convincing, begging and groveling but eventually he agreed."

"I'd like to invite you to stay here with us for a few days. We're asking all our potential recruits to stay with us so we can get to know them better."

The young woman's eyes went wide. "Do you mean that?"

Sareyna laughed, "Of course. I've never seen anything like what you were doing and you disarmed so many people so quickly. You obviously know what you're doing."

"I would be honored, Commander, thank you so much."

"Good, enjoy yourself for the rest of the evening. One of the Wardens, a dwarf named Sigrun will find you later to take you to your temporary quarters." She turned to move away then stopped and turned back, "By the way, I don't think I caught your name."

"Sorry ma'am, I am called Elswyth."

Sareyna smiled, "Very good, see you soon, Elswyth." With that Sareyna gave her one last smile and headed back to find the other Wardens.

When she had them all rounded up in her office she had everyone sit down and get comfortable. They spent a few minutes discussing the recruits that everyone had met the previous evening and they all pretty much agreed with the choices that Sareyna had made. Once that was out of the way she spoke with them about the new recruit. "I invited the elven woman with those interesting blades to stay on for a few days."

"There are a few mages that should be here in the next day or two."

Sareyna looked to Anders, "Circle or Apostates?"

He smirked, "Apostates of course."

"Of course."

"I want to invite another warrior to stay with us for a few days; I want to test out a few more of his skills."

Sareyna nodded to Alistair then looked around, "Anyone else?"

"A few of those men were good with the horseback fighting. If you're serious about building up a sort of cavalry for the Wardens you should think about keeping at least a couple of them." Nathaniel's voice was even quieter than usual.

"What about Skyla? Isn't she the best we have right now?" Alistair asked.

"Is she interested in joining?" Sareyna looked around at everyone. When no one responded she crossed to the door, "I'll be right back."

As Sareyna jogged down the stairs she almost ran directly into Captain Garavel. "Captain, I wonder if you know where Skyla might be?"

Garavel gave a brief nod, "She was in the stables oiling her tack last I knew."

"Thank you." Sareyna headed for the door.

"Commander, I can get her for you, I'm heading that way anyways."

"Thank you; send her to my office please." She headed back up the stairs and into the office and sat back down. "She'll be here in a few minutes. In the mean time was there anyone that caught your eye, Nathaniel?"

He gave her a sheepish smile, "There were a couple that were fairly good, but in all honesty I was more taken with one of the horses."

Zevran flashed Nathaniel a smile, "The strawberry roan, right? She was beautiful and fast, and I think she's been trained for fighting. Her rider could barely handle her."

Nathaniel nodded, "He had no idea what to do with her, kept giving her mixed signals, poor animal. He kept yanking on the bit I thought he was going to tear her mouth."

Sareyna thought for a few minutes, "Well if we want a real stable we're going to need more than the few horses we have, right? Do you think he would sell her?"

Nathaniel gave Sareyna a devious smile, "Let me talk to him. I rather think we'll get a very good deal on her."

"Good, then you and Zevran can fight over her."

Zevran shook his head, "Oh, no I think that beauty is all Nathaniel's. But if you're offering to buy me a horse I'll keep my eyes open." He smiled at Sareyna.

There was a tentative knock at the door.

"Come in Skyla, please sit."

Skyla came in and looked around the room uneasily. "Another message Commander?"

"Actually, I have a request and an offer for you."

Skyla perched carefully on the edge of a hard seat. "Anything I can do to help."

"Not many of the Wardens are riders, and to be honest watching jousts and horsemanship exercises bores me to death. So, we wanted to know if you saw any riders that were both good riders and decent fighters who the Wardens might consider as recruits?"

Skyla smiled, "Actually, yes. There were two that caught my eye. After watching the exercises yesterday I spent most of the evening speaking to one of them. His name was Druce and he's from the Dragon's Peak Bannorn, a soldier there. You should definitely consider him.

The other man I didn't get a chance to speak with, but he was an excellent rider and very good with a blade as well. I believe his name was Aldin, something, I'm sorry I don't remember his name."

"Could you find him, if need be?"

Skyla smiled, "I know his horse, I could leave a message with the stable master for him."

"Excellent, we should invite them both to stay as potential recruits. And I have one more question for you."

"Yes Commander?" She had looked pleased when they had asked her about the other riders but now she seemed a bit nervous.

"We're not going to bite you, dear. Relax." Anders gave her his best charming smile.

She relaxed incrementally but had her hands folded very neatly in her lap.

"Have you ever thought about joining the Wardens?"

Skyla's jaw dropped open and she looked stunned, "Me? I…I mean what kid hasn't thought about it. But Commander, I'm just a soldier. I'm afraid I don't know a whole lot about killing Darkspawn."

"Neither do most of the people we're thinking about recruiting. Please, feel free to say no, but we all know your skill with horses, and Garavel always says good things about you." Sareyna was watching her carefully.

Suddenly, Skyla laughed and covered her face.

"Is everything alright?" Sareyna asked gently.

Skyla nodded and uncovered her face. "Just a long journey Commander. Varel found me on the street as a child; I don't really remember my parents. He brought me back here and I worked in the stables and he helped me learn how to fight. I became a soldier and thought my life couldn't get any better, I was so much luckier than most. Then you came here and I delivered a letter to the King, the _King_ of Ferelden!" She shook her head in disbelief, "And now you're offering to make me a Warden. I am blessed."

"Is that a yes?"

"Yes, Commander, I would like that very much."

"Excellent." Sareyna looked around the room, "Anything else to add?" Everyone remained silent. "Alright, Sigrun and Skyla please find the recruits and show them to their temporary quarters. They can enjoy the night, it being the last night of the tournament and all, but I want them stumbling back to the right building." She gave them a smile and the two of them left.

Once they both left she turned to the rest of the group. "Tomorrow is pretty much going to be a day of recovery and I want everyone to make themselves available for the recruits to speak with, other than that the day belongs to you. But the next day we're going to be putting the recruits through a gauntlet of shock. We need to know what they can and can't work with."

She turned to Alistair, "You're first, don't teach anything to them but I want them to see you use your templar abilities. Then Oghren can show them his Beserker and Reaver skills. And when you are both done I want you to bring them to Anders and Morrigan. Anders, show them some of the bigger spells you know, and I want you to fight one of them using the Arcane warrior abilities."

She turned to Morrigan, "You're where things start getting pretty dicey."

Morrigan nodded, "Shapeshifter first, then blood magic?"

"Yes, and then I want you and Anders to introduce them to Justice."

"Are you sure that's wise? If you do all that to them in one day they just might run for the hills."

"I can't afford to coddle these people, either they can handle what it takes to be a Warden, or not. By then the apostates should be here too, so of course they go with you. I'm guessing it'll be Alistair and Justice that will be the hardest for them. And I'm sure I don't have to repeat this to you, but no one is to tell them anything about the Joining.

Once that's all done I'll call them all together and tell them they have three days to decide whether they can live this life or not. If they can't they are free to leave, but after those three days are up the decision will be considered made and there will be no turning back. And we'll see just who ends up staying and who decides they can't handle it and leaves."

"I hate to rain all over this brilliant plan 'Reyna, but you're asking Morrigan and I to use illegal magic in front of people who might decide not to stay. That puts us in a bit more danger than the rest of you."

"You're right Anders. But the safe guards we've had in place so far have worked pretty well; so long as you don't invite any more Templars in for a visit." She smirked at him.

"Right, can do."

"The Chantry has no control over the Wardens." Alistair added.

Anders sighed, "Not that they listen to that much."

"I have already sent out notices to Amaranthine and local Banns about you and Morrigan being in the Wardens. Now, we're supposed to have Warden armor issued to us. For obvious reasons we haven't received it and probably won't. Which is fine with me, I'd rather have Wade make my armor. However, I do expect anyone leaving the Keep to make sure their armor has the Warden Emblem on it so they can be easily identified as a Warden. Is that understood?"

"So we can wear whatever armor we want as long as it has the griffon emblem on it?"

Sareyna nodded, "Yes, Anders, whatever you want."

He smiled, "Nice."

"This is effective immediately so I suggest you submit your requests to Wade as soon as possible. And if you can, make it as entertaining as possible for the man."

Anders laughed, "You might regret that suggestion, 'Reyna."

Sareyna smiled, "I already do. It might not hurt to have the emblem branded into any weapons that can take it, better to be safe than sorry." Sareyna yawned, "Is that everything? I need a nap."

Everyone stood up to leave and Sareyna noticed they all looked a little worried. She couldn't blame them, everything was about to change. They had been alone for months and they were all comfortable being themselves, but now they were inviting strangers into their tight knit little group and were about to make themselves vulnerable to these strangers. Sareyna hoped things turned out well.


	39. Chapter 39

**Any Means Necessary**

The next day as the sun lightened the sky with golds and pinks the first of the apostates arrived at the Keep. The guard at the front gate was reluctant to let the man in until he mentioned Anders by name. Anders was dragged, bleary eyed, from bed to verify that this was indeed one of the mages they had been waiting for.

Though Anders had never met the mage he had a name and a vague description. "What's your name?"

"Eoghan, ser."

Anders snorted, "No need for the ser, but come inside and rest a bit."

The apostate was barely more than a boy, brown eyes glittering with excitement as he was finally allowed into the Keep. Anders took the sandy haired man to the library and bid him to stay there until the rest of the Keep was awake.

Content that the mage would stay put and not cause any trouble he ambled back up the stairs to his room. Opening the door quietly he slipped inside and crawled into the bed next to Fergus, careful not to let his cold feet touch the sleeping Teryn. As soon as he was in the bed Fergus reached for him and pulled him close.

"Where did you go?"

"I had to identify one of the apostates."

"Hmm, why so early?" Fergus mumbled.

"I have no idea, but I am planning on going back to sleep."

Fergus made a contented sound and snuggled against Anders again. Anders smiled a little, happy that the man seemed more at ease than he had when he arrived. He and Fergus had a long discussion the previous night where Anders had enlightened Fergus on some of the finer points of the Warden's family within a family. Fergus had been more than a little surprised to hear of all of Maric's bastard children.

Anders closed his eyes, thankful that Fergus was every bit as wonderful as Sareyna had told him. They were similar in so many ways, their open affection, their smiles and Fergus was obviously a great influence on Sareyna's fighting style as well as her humor. But where Sareyna carried anger that propelled her Fergus carried pain that anchored him. Anders wished there was something he could do to ease the pain Fergus carried, but how could one begin to touch a wound as deep and ragged as the one that must cover the man's heart?

Anders had thoroughly enjoyed Fergus' company and was a little sad that he would be leaving so soon. Fergus had told him last night that he would be leaving in a couple days, he didn't want to interfere in Warden business and he really needed to get back to Highever.

Anders hoped fervently, for Fergus' sake, that most of the repair work was finished. The poor man had enough awful memories to plague him in those halls. Anders had readily agreed to visit Highever with Sareyna as soon as all the repairs were complete. And had also, of course, promised that Trelain would be with them.

Fergus had taken to the boy straight away, even knowing he had magic. Anders had stared in wonder at the two as Fergus played with the young boy. Fergus was obviously a multifaceted man, he had been running the country for Maric for months, was a vigorous and adventurous lover, a dedicated brother and clearly an excellent father.

It made Anders ache, seeing others interacting with children was hard for him. He so wanted to be a father, was convinced he could be a good father but had been robbed of the chance from the moment he was born. He was forced always to watch and to want but never to have, and he wondered, not for the first time, if it wasn't for the best.

He knew he was far from perfect, he could be whiney and his humor was not always shared by others. He was a bit vain and more than a little selfish, but as he watched others he saw them change around children. Zevran was a perfect example, it was a shame that Zev would never be a father, but at least he had Trelain.

Anders shoved the thoughts out of his head and just enjoyed having Fergus in his arms. He reached for sleep and it found him quickly.

* * *

The Wardens and their recruits were in the refectory enjoying breakfast later that day when the other two apostates arrived. Naveen was an elf who had a quick smile and stunning green eyes. His black hair was pulled carefully back into a sleek braid; similar to the one Alistair now wore. He had an easy laugh; the other recruits took to him rather quickly.

Cearo was a broad woman, obviously someone who was used to hard work. Her chocolate brown hair hung loosely and she hid behind it throughout the morning. She rarely spoke and when she did her voice was quiet, hesitant. As everyone was getting ready to leave Cearo turned to survey the room and Sareyna got the first real look at her face.

An ugly scar contorted her features, her face twisted into what looked like a constant grimace of pain. As quickly as it was there it was covered again, Cearo's hair falling over her features like a curtain. Sareyna caught up with Anders on their way out of the refectory.

"What do you know about the female apostate?"

Anders shook his head, "Almost nothing, she's a fair healer and she's good with primal magic. And they said she had experience fighting Darkspawn."

Sareyna walked out, watching the mage thoughtfully before her attention was again diverted to Naveen. He was laughing heartily and clapping Eoghan on the back before gesturing to Whitney. Sareyna smiled, sure the mage would be in for a big surprise if he had his eyes set on Whitney.

"Found me another cad did you?" Sareyna laughed quietly.

"No, I've only heard good things about him, respectful, pleasant, powerful. He sounded quite dull to me but I was assured he had plenty of fire power and learned quickly. And, he wants to be here."

"And the boy?"

Anders winced, "A lot of the same, though I didn't realize how young he was."

"Alistair says the younger ones have a better chance of surviving the Joining, so maybe it'll be in his favor that he's young."

"So when do we start with the shock treatment?"

"Tomorrow after breakfast, I still want everyone to rest and relax today and give the recruits a little time before we start throwing them into the fire."

Anders nodded, "Fergus was still asleep when I got up, I'm going to go check on him."

Sareyna smiled, "Go see Shannon and bring him a bit of breakfast why don't you?"

Anders smiled back, "That's a good idea." He turned back and headed for the kitchen while Sareyna headed upstairs to her office, she still had a few things to put away.

* * *

There was a light knock at Sareyna's office door and as she looked up Fergus opened the door and strolled in holding Trelain on his hip, a contented smile on his lips. "Care to spend a bit of time with your big brother today?" He asked casually.

Sareyna smiled, "Actually, I would love to, nothing I can think of that I want to do more."

Fergus chuckled, "Well now don't I feel all important."

Sareyna closed the drawer she had been putting things into and stood up. She crossed quickly to the door where Fergus lingered with the child. "What do you want to do today?"

"I'd like to spend some alone time with you if that's alright?" he looked down to the toddler on his hip, "Well, you and your son."

Sareyna's smile faltered a little but she nodded, "Let's head upstairs, we'll have a bit of privacy up there and we can get some fresh air."

Fergus followed her back to her rooms, where she grabbed a blanket, before he followed her up the stairs and onto the roof. The sun was shining and it was fairly warm already. Sareyna laid out the blanket and sat on it. Fergus settled down beside her and set Trelain on the blanket.

He smiled at Sareyna, "I can't believe how much he looks like his father."

Sareyna reached out and ruffled her hand in the boy's hair. "His father is a good man; we're both lucky to have him." She dropped her hand back to her side, "Sadly, I'm not much of a mother. But he has a lot of other people who care for him quite a bit." Trelain crawled to her and climbed into her lap. With a sad smile she gently stroked his back.

Fergus watched her with a sad smile of his own. "The most precious gift in the world sitting in your lap and you look as if you'd rather be anywhere else. How is that possible, pup?"

Sareyna shrugged, "I told you, I'm not much of a mother. You know full well it was never really something I wanted."

"And it didn't change when you grew heavy with child, when you held him in your arms the first time? Not even when he smiled at you?"

Sareyna felt tears prick at her eyes, ashamed that nothing had seemed to turn her into a decent mother. "No." she spoke softly, not daring to look her brother in the eyes. "And don't try to comfort me or give me assurances, Alistair has given me enough for a lifetime. I am what I am, Fergus, and I can be nothing else."

Fergus nodded, "Very well." He leaned backwards resting on his elbows and looked up into the sky. "Anders and I had a very interesting conversation last night."

"So, now you know all about Maric's dirty little secrets, not that they are so little anymore."

"Well yes," he paused and looked at Sareyna thoughtfully for a moment before sitting up. "Maric wasn't much of a father either. But it doesn't make him a bad man, a bad king."

Sareyna turned to him and scowled, "Wait, what are you talking about, he positively doted on Cailan?"

Fergus shook his head, "He did for most of Cailan's life but after Queen Rowan died he seemed to lose interest in everything, including Cailan. Father said Maric even disappeared for a while and when he returned he still struggled, but eventually started taking an interest in Cailan and proper ruling of the country again. Add to that the three children he didn't raise at all, and he wasn't exactly the picture of the perfect father."

Sareyna didn't respond, Fergus was trying to give her assurances even after he said he wouldn't. But she didn't want to argue with him, it had been too long since they had seen each other. She set Trelain back down on the blanket and shifted her position. Fergus sighed heavily beside her.

"That's not what I was getting at exactly anyways. We spoke about Maric going to see the Circle, about the type of fate that might meet Trelain if he is ever taken there. Is what he says true?"

Sareyna nodded, "Anders is a lot of things, but he's not a liar, Fergus."

"I know, I just…How is it that no one knows about it?"

"Because it's not something the Chantry wants people to know. And most people don't care; they are made to fear mages from the day they are born." She shook her head, "I have met people who even fear the Circle's healers and will not see them no matter their injury or illness."

Fergus sat up, "That's absurd, why would anyone fear a healer?"

"I don't want to talk about it, really Fergus, we haven't seen each other in months, and you're leaving in a few days. Can't we just spend some time together and enjoy each other's company?"

"You're right; there's been way too much unpleasantness in our lives. Let's talk about frivolous things and happy memories." He pulled Trelain towards him and placed him on his lap again; it seemed to content him.

The rest of the morning the two of them spoke of happier times at Highever and their few moments of peace and laughter since Highever. And at length Fergus steered the conversation around to Alistair and Zevran and their relationship. Sareyna let him ask his questions and answered them without giving him grief. It was clear to her that he just wanted to make sure that his sister was being treated well.

* * *

The following morning after breakfast Zevran and Alistair disappeared upstairs and Sareyna pulled Anders aside, leaving Fergus to continue on his own to his own rooms. Most of the other Wardens and recruits had already left the refectory.

"Anders, I'm going to go help Alistair into his armor. Could you start rounding the recruits up and herding them to training yard, unless you're too busy with my brother?" She gave him a small smile.

"How much of this do you want him to see?"

"I don't know, I hadn't really thought about it." She bit her bottom lip for a moment. "Probably should try to keep it to a minimum. Alright, you entertain Fergus and get Sigrun to round everyone up."

"Sounds like an excellent plan."

Sareyna laughed, "Well, I had help."

Anders turned to go find Sigrun as Sareyna went to her rooms to help Alistair get into his armor. He was wearing his heavy plate today and it could take a while to get him all buckled into it, even with Zevran's help. Once he was suited up he strode quickly outside with Sareyna and Zevran both on his heels.

Sareyna strode to the middle of the training yard with Alistair and turned to face the expectant recruits. "Being a Grey Warden is a lifelong commitment, it is not something you can change your mind about once you have become one. It is a hard life filled with weeks at a time spent sleeping on the ground and forays into the Deep Roads where not even the Dwarves have ventured in years.

I know some of you have seen Darkspawn, but for those that who have not, let me assure you it is a gruesome and ghastly experience and it is not something to be taken lightly. Wardens provide a necessary service but it is not a place to seek glory. Most Wardens pass into their final rest with only their brother and sister Wardens ever knowing their names.

Today will be a day of firsts for many of you and I am sure it will make most of you uncomfortable at some point but I ask that you try to stay until at least the end of the day. But before we begin the day there is something very important that you must understand about the Grey Wardens.

Because a Grey Warden's duty is so important, so vital they use any means necessary to ensure the best chance to defeat the Darkspawn. I want you to hear that phrase again, it did not truly sink in for me the first time I heard it. Any. Means. Necessary. This is the most important thing for you to remember today as we move forward."

She stepped back and gestured to Alistair. "I am sure most of you by now have met Alistair. He's going to be starting today off with showing you at least one of his specialized skills, maybe two." Sareyna walked out of the training yard and stood a few yards behind the recruits.

* * *

Alistair looked everyone over for a moment until he was sure Sareyna was where he had indicated. "I am going to need the mages to back up and stand behind the Commander, just as a precaution."

Cearo started moving almost automatically and Eoghan seemed not to mind being moved either but Naveen's head snapped up and he narrowed his eyes. Apparently, he had at least a suspicion of what was going on. He turned on his heel and strode quickly behind Sareyna, going even so far as to back up another yard.

Alistair could see the anger forcing the man's back ramrod straight as he glared at Alistair. Alistair turned away from the angry mage as well as the rest of the recruits and called forth a smite, a tightly controlled one that landed directly on the practice dummy he had been aiming for and blasted the worn fabric and straw apart. He heard the gasps from behind him followed quickly by Naveen's angry words as he strode forward towards the training yard again.

"No, not a Templar, I refuse to work with a Templar."

Sareyna reached the training yard at the same time as Naveen. "Alistair is not a Templar. He was trained to be one but never took his vows and he is not in anyway bound to or by the Chantry." She turned to face the remaining recruits. "Once you become a Warden they are your number one priority, the _only_ thing you hold constant allegiance too. The duty of the Wardens is above even the Chantry, do you understand? The Chantry laws do not apply to Wardens because they cannot, due to the threat we must face."

She turned back to Naveen. "Darkspawn have magic and the best way to fight magic is with Templar abilities. Alistair helped me to defeat the Blight, as you all know. And he worked with two mages the entire time, one from the Circle and the other an Apostate. He has never smited either of them."

"It doesn't mean he doesn't hate mages."

Alistair walked forward calmly and slowly so as not alarm the mage. "I don't hate mages. There are several people in my family who are mages and I love them the same as anyone else in my family. There are mages here who are my friends, no different from non mages. My skills are used to defeat and kill Darkspawn, nothing more."

Naveen was clearly struggling, trying to accept what Alistair was saying and Sareyna's reassurances. He looked away from them both and looked at the other mages, "Are you alright being here with a Templar watching your every move?"

Aldin, one of the riders Sklya had suggested, gave a quick laugh, "Apparently, you didn't notice yesterday, but I've been here for nearly a week and the Lieutenant does have sharp eyes, but the only people he keeps his eyes on are the Commander and their blonde elf friend."

Alistair flushed and Sareyna closed her eyes briefly as the recruits broke out into laughter. Sareyna opened her eyes and pleaded with Naveen again, "Give us the full day, let us show you everything, then decide if you can stay or not."

Naveen gave a quick nod, "I will stay for now, but I believe we all understand what the Lieutenant wanted to show us. Surely, there is no need for him to demonstrate further."

Alistair exited the training yard, "You're quite right, and honestly I'd like to get out of this armor. I've spent too much time trussed up in these things to be doing it when there is no real fear of danger." He headed straight for the Keep.

* * *

There were a few shocked gasps as Oghren explained and demonstrated his reaver and beserker abilities though Whitney seemed rather fascinated. As Oghren exited the training yard Whitney hurried over to him and started peppering the surprised dwarf with questions.

Alistair had apparently sent Anders down once he went inside because Anders was standing there in a lightweight suit of armor when Oghren left the training yard. Sareyna watched as the recruits looked at him with strange expressions, all of the recruits knew not only that he was a mage, but that he was a healer.

He smiled as he looked them over and lingered on the mages. "One of the nicest things about being a Warden is that you get to actually use of some of the bigger spells you know." With that he unleashed a tempest off to the left of the training yard, the lighting striking frequently and nearly blinding. "Now I could use fire of course, but as you may know we recently were attacked here at the Keep and the Commander would not be pleased." Howling winds and hail joined the lightning. "Though, ice is always useful as well."

Sareyna smirked at Naveen and Eoghan who watched Anders with smiles and wide eyes. Cearo was still hiding her face for the most part though she did seem to be staring at Anders rather than the spells as most of the other recruits were.

"And fire is effective, but I want to warn you, the smell of burning Darkspawn is horrendous by any accounting, though they don't smell much better when they're alive and well to be honest." He cancelled out the spells and looked over the recruits.

He motioned to Fergus' man Jaret. "Do you have your weapons with you?"

The man shook his head but Anders motioned him into the training yard with him all the same. "How is your sword play?"

"Fair to middling, ser."

Anders smiled broadly, "Good, mine too." He looked back to the recruits, "Someone else want to volunteer to help him out?"

Eoghan stepped forward with a smile to match Anders, "I will."

"Good, I like a challenge. Would you like a sword as well, or just your staff?"

"Just my staff."

Anders nodded and turned back to Jaret, "Pick a weapon." He gestured to several leaning against the railing further down the training yard. He followed the man down and picked up a large greatsword before walking back to stand in front of Eoghan and waiting for Jaret to return.

"I will let you know when I am ready." With that a pale yellow light shimmered over Anders and then was gone just as quickly as it had come. He smiled again, "Alright, I'm ready."

The fight was over quickly. Anders went after Eoghan first, knocking him over easily with the flat of the blade before turning and knocking the sword easily from Jaret's hands. They both looked at him stunned but it was Jaret who spoke.

"How did you?" He let his question hang in the air.

Anders grinned, "Anyone else?"

Sareyna stepped forward, "No, need to show off Anders. Answer the man."

Anders gave her a mock glare before turning back to Jaret, "Magic, an old ancient elven magic. It allows me to use magic to augment my strength and speed and to fight with regular weapons as though I were a warrior instead of a mage. I am sure you can see how it would work to my advantage, especially when most of what I cast is healing magic." He turned to the rest of the recruits, "Do not underestimate the value in surprise, for us or the Darkspawn."

Morrigan entered the training yard and Anders quickly disappeared, presumably back to Fergus, without another word. "I am not going to play tricks on you as some of the others have. Before I start I want you to know three things about me. Firstly, I am a witch, I am not Circle trained. Second, the Chantry would call me maleficar. Third, I will be showing you forbidden magic." She paused for a couple minutes before speaking again. "Since no one has left or objected then I will proceed."

Almost before she had finished speaking there was a flash of greenish light and suddenly there was a very large spider prowling around in the training yard. There were a few gasps but no screams or panic, it was a good sign. With another flash of light Morrigan was standing again before them.

"Good, no screams and no passing out, always a good sign. No need to belabor the point, there are many other animal forms I can take. The magic is called shapeshifting and it is prohibited by the Chantry for the Circle to know, use or teach this magic." She paused again and walked around in a small circle before facing the group again.

In her hand she held a small dagger; she gave them a bit of a wicked smile. "Now, on to the main event, shall we?"

She sliced her arm and the blood did not drip down but rose from the cut in misty droplets and began swirling around her. The group almost as a whole stepped backwards from her, only Cearo did not move. Sareyna was surprised to see Cearo's face clearly as she held her head up and watched Morrigan.

"I will not cast a spell, I clearly do not need to, you all know what this is. I do use it fairly regularly when fighting Darkspawn. I can use my blood if I have to, but I prefer to use Darkspawn blood when I use blood magic." She closed her hands and the mist swirling around her fell to the ground in tiny droplets. With a quick pulse of teal light she healed her wound.

Cearo spoke for the first time that Sareyna could remember. "Can I see it?"

"What?" Morrigan asked.

"Your wound, the Circle tells us that a blood mage cannot use spirit healing. That they need to use blood magic to close the wound and that it will always leave a scar."

Morrigan snorted and walked forward displaying her inner forearms for all of the recruits to see. Her flesh was pristine, not even a blemish. "Anders has told me some of the odd things that the Circle teaches its mages. If you are to become Wardens I suggest you first forget all of that. Learning one type of magic does not prevent you from learning another. You may have a predilection, or a propensity towards one type of magic but you can learn others."

Eoghan spoke quietly from the back of the crowd, "Do we need to learn Blood Magic to be a Warden?"

Sareyna stepped forward and shook her head, "Absolutely not. There is no requirement for any of you to learn anything you have seen today. The choice is always yours, we will force you to learn nothing except how to fight and kill Darkspawn, if you want more tools at your disposal that is up to you. There is one more…something else we must show you before we release you for the day to think about your decisions."

Sareyna started heading towards the small house where Justice had been staying since before the start of the tournament. With the recruits ranged behind her she paused before knocking on the door. "What you are going to see is disturbing to look at, but will not harm you. He is a good man and a damned good Warden, so try to be respectful." With that she knocked on the door.

After a few moments the door cracked open a bit and a deep baritone rumbled from inside of the house. "Hello, Commander. Do you wish me to come out now?"

"Yes, please." She stepped away from the door; hand poised on the dagger slung on her hip in case she needed to defend Justice. As he opened the door wider and stepped out there were shocked gasps and for a few moments she thought a couple of them would bolt. Sareyna spoke quickly hoping to calm them some. "This is a fade spirit called Justice. He was trapped outside of the Fade and inside of the body of a deceased Warden which is why he looks as he does. He has fought beside us against enemies that as of yet you cannot even imagine. He is our ally and our friend as well as a Warden and he will most likely be fighting beside you as a Warden."

There were murmurs through the recruits as they stared openly at Justice and his rotting body. Sareyna smiled and touched his arm lightly, a gesture meant to calm the recruit's fears.

"Why don't you get your things so you can come back to the Keep with us?"

"Are all the guests gone, Commander?"

"All except for my brother."

"Then perhaps I should stay here for now."

Sareyna nodded, "There is no need for you to stay but if you wish it I will not force you back."

Justice turned and walked back into the house. Sareyna wondered if he needed time to recover from the recruit's reactions to him. It had to be difficult for him; he was always viewed with horror when people met him for the first time.

"That's everything for today. I will let you all recover from all that you have experienced and to think it over. You have the remainder of today as well as the next two days to make your decision. In two days, just after sunset we will begin preparations for the Joining. Once they have begun, your choice has been made and there is no turning back. Please think carefully over everything you have seen and what it means to be a Warden." With that she strode back to the Keep not bothering to look back to see whether the recruits followed or not. She would find out in time how many of them chose to leave.


	40. Chapter 40

**Join Us In The Shadows**

Sareyna thanked Gorson for coming to the tournament and thanked him for wanting to help Ferelden. She made sure that he knew it was not a shame to leave and that she agreed that family had to come first. There were those that depended on him and the more he heard about actually being a Warden instead of rumors and stories about their heroism, the more he realized that if he became a Warden he might not see his children grow up. He was a good man and Sareyna thought his family was lucky to have him and honestly, she felt better knowing she wasn't tearing him from his family.

She stood with the other Wardens in the main hall as sunset approached on the last day and waited. Fergus had left a few hours before, headed to Highever and she missed him already. And judging from the way Anders had been wandering around aimlessly before coming to the main hall she guessed she wasn't the only one. Fergus had assured her he would let her know as soon as repairs were finished so she could come and see how it all looked. She almost wished she had gone with him, but her duty as Commander of the Grey beckoned.

Slowly, one by one the recruits walked into the hall, kitted out with gear from the merchants that the Wardens had purchased and mostly looking nervous. When the last one arrived and stood before them Sareyna wasn't sure whether to be grateful, terrified, or sad.

It was wonderful to have so many recruits, but she already knew that it meant she would watch more of them die. And they all looked to her for guidance, guidance she wasn't sure she was qualified to give. Nonetheless, it was time and she would do what was expected of her.

She broke them down into two separate groups and tried hard not to look at Zevran. He had convinced her to do something she was already regretting. They would use him as bait to lure any nearby Darkspawn to them, they had argued for the last two days about it before he finally exploded and told her it wasn't her choice to make and if he wanted to take off the damn crystal he would, and that had been the end of it.

She cleared her throat, "Hello everyone," she looked them over, "I want to remind everyone that you have now committed to becoming a Warden and there is no longer any turning back."

Everyone was silent; watching her, waiting for what would come next. Sareyna nodded to Sigrun who began passing out small glass vials with stoppers to all of the recruits.

"We will be heading into the basements of the Keep, below the basements lie the Deep Roads. It is there that you will find, fight and kill a Darkspawn, for some of you, your first. Once this has been done you will collect blood from the Darkspawn in that vial you now hold. Once your task is completed we will return here to perform the Joining."

There was uneasy shuffling in the hall as the recruits looked around at each other. And Sareyna let the information sink in for a minute before continuing.

"We will be splitting up into two groups, one to be led by myself and the other to be led by the Lieutenant. You will not be fighting alone and you will have warning before any attack by Darkspawn. As Wardens you can feel when Darkspawn are near so the Wardens travelling with you will warn you to be ready."

Sareyna paused again, trying to steel herself for the fact that she might lose some of these people before the Joining even began. How had Duncan done this for so many years? She could feel herself aging from all the worry.

"The group travelling with me will be Justice, Anders, Nathaniel, Skyla, Elsweth, Druce, Cearo and Eoghan. Sigrun, Morrigan, Oghren, Jaret, Desmond, Aldin, Naveen and Whitney will be with Alistair."

The room fell quiet again for several seconds before Elsweth spoke up. "Will Zevran not be coming along as well?"

Sareyna bit her bottom lip and looked to Zevran, waiting for him to provide a response.

Zevran smiled broadly, "I will be in the Deep Roads as well, but I have a rather unique ability and will be assisting both groups."

"Unique ability?" Elsweth looked doubtful.

"You needn't concern yourself with it; just know I will be there."

Sareyna cut in, ending the discussion. "You have all been fitted with packs and supplies because we will be in the Deep Roads for several days at least. The Deep Roads are dark and though we have mages and torches it will always be dark down there, so be prepared. Use your other senses to the best of your ability; it will become easier in time," Her gaze drifted to Anders, "usually." She added.

She had told Anders he didn't need to come, she knew he had difficulty in the Deep Roads, or anywhere that he felt trapped and confined, but he had assured he would be alright. As long as there was light and he wasn't alone he could handle it he had told her. Sareyna was doubtful even as he spoke with her, she could see him stiffen at the idea, but Anders was strong willed and if he said he could handle it she would trust him.

The groups moved together and received instructions from Sareyna and Alistair. They would travel as one group as far as the barrier doors then Alistair's group would continue on while Sareyna's group guarded the doors. Once Alistair's group all had their vials filled they would return to the doors and swap with Sareyna's group.

* * *

The trip from the basement to the doors took nearly two days, or so Sigrun told them, it was hard to tell in the Deep Roads, obviously, but she was sure she hadn't lost her 'stone sense' as the dwarves called it. The groups stayed pretty intermingled throughout the trip chatting and getting to know each other. There was a lot of laughter on the way as Anders was delighted to find that several of the recruits enjoyed his sense of humor.

While Anders was busy entertaining recruits, Sareyna and Alistair watched them all carefully to see who, if anyone, was having difficulties with the enclosed space or the constant darkness. Eoghan seemed to have the toughest time adjusting to the darkness; he had trouble sleeping and for the first day had jumped at nearly every little noise.

And though Sareyna could tell that Anders was tense she was pretty sure no one else could see it, he hid it well and never complained. Cearo kept herself apart from the group, not seemingly rude, just distant. She didn't seem interested in Anders' stories or anyone else's. But as they sat around the fire the first night Justice had wandered over to speak with the mage woman and the two of them had been having quiet conversation ever since.

Sareyna wondered what they were talking about, but didn't want to put any pressure on them. She kept everyone moving and helped them learn the various sounds of the Deep Roads. When they reached the barrier doors Sareyna decided everyone should rest up before Alistair's team left.

The evening was spent around the fire again, in quiet conversation. Alistair and Zevran sat with Sareyna and spoke about tomorrow's activities and the fact that the recruits had avoided all three of them for the most part. Alistair assured Sareyna it was nothing to worry about, but she still worried. She didn't want the recruits to feel that they couldn't approach the three of them.

She did notice that Elsweth seemed to be keeping a rather close eye on Zevran, and Zevran didn't fail to notice it either. He locked eyes with her several times to let her know the he knew she was watching him. She didn't seem angry or threatening but it was disconcerting that she seemed so focused on Zevran.

The close scrutiny upset Alistair who seemed rather uncomfortable with Zevran's normal affections. Zevran, never one to let small things bother him simply seemed to accept it and didn't ruffle a feather when Sareyna seemed rather more subdued than usual as well. As they sat discussing the next day Zevran suddenly changed the conversation.

"Is her watching me making you two uncomfortable?"

Alistair stared into the small fire in front of them and remained silent. Sareyna for her part was ever honest. "I'm not sure if it's her exactly, but I am unsure how to react around the recruits. I don't want to give them the impression that the Wardens are a den of debauchery."

Zevran let out a laugh, "Den of debauchery? I think it is too late for that my dear Wardens. All the soldiers and servants at the Keep have told dozens of stories of the 'debauchery' as you put it that has taken place at the Keep since the Wardens have arrived."

Alistair looked up from the fire horrified, "No, they haven't!"

Zevran touched his cheek lightly, "Do not worry, Tesoro, it is mostly of myself and Anders that they speak, though I can assure you that my relationship with the two of you and my sudden absence from the servants quarters or soldier's barracks at night is well known." He gestured to the group sitting around another of the three fires, "They all know about us and none of them have left in horror."

Sareyna felt herself relax a bit; she hadn't realized how worried she had been that her personal life would give the Wardens a bad name in Ferelden. She had heard some of the soldiers and the servants at the Keep making quiet comments to each other when they thought no one could hear them.

There were rumors that she had not been able to satisfy Alistair and so Zevran had been brought in, or that Alistair had not been able to satisfy her. And there were many more hurtful comments but she had been glad that no one had been horrible to her face. She had even been surprised to hear others defending the three of them, oddly enough.

Alistair had returned to staring into the fire and Zevran leaned over to whisper in his ear. Alistair's eyes went wide, "You can't be serious."

"Indeed, I am. Come Tesoro." Zevran stood and held his hand out to Alistair.

Alistair stared at him for several moments before standing with him. He looked to Sareyna, "We'll be back."

Sareyna chuckled as Alistair colored and the two of them disappeared into the darkness. As Sareyna stretched and prepared to turn in she saw Elsweth staring at her, her eyes revealing nothing of her thoughts. Sareyna gave her a pleasant smile then crawled into her bedroll, already wishing she was back at the Keep in her bed.

* * *

When they opened the barrier doors they were all more than a little surprised to see dozens of dead Darkspawn just on the other side of it. Zevran looked apprehensive for a moment and Alistair shared his unease. The bodies were broken as if crushed or, Alistair shuddered to think it, slammed into something. Their fingers were all broken with crusted blood on them and Alistair was sure if they were to look behind the doors they would see that they were blood stained as well. These Darkspawn had killed themselves trying to get to Zevran and no one in the Keep had even realized it.

Alistair knew the only reason that there were not living Darkspawn waiting on the other side of those doors was because of the crystal that Zevran now wore around his neck. Alistair looked to Zevran nervously as the elf carefully fingered the crystal hanging around his neck, surveying the corpses speculatively. There was a pouch on the assassin's belt that the crystal would go into when Alistair deemed it was time to remove it from his neck. Anders had spelled the pouch to prevent any magic escaping the bag, hence Zevran's call would no longer be quelled.

* * *

Alistair watched as his group was moving ahead of him. It had been less than a day since they had left the barrier when they had been attacked for the first time. It had been a small band of Darkspawn, less than twenty. And his group had cut them down quickly after a brief moment's hesitation as they took in the horror that was Darkspawn.

Alistair hadn't needed to use his abilities as there had been no emissaries and he was grateful as Naveen was still watching him with disdain. Because his having Templar abilities had really upset the mage Alistair had been a bit surprised that Naveen hadn't left as Gorson had. But Naveen was a powerful mage and quick, he didn't stay back from the fight as most mages did but waded into it with fire flickering from his fingertips like bolts from a cross bow.

Jaret and Desmond stayed back with Morrigan, their bows providing excellent coverage as the rest of the group wiped the Darkspawn out. When the fight was over all of the recruits were able to fill their vials and they headed back to the barrier. Alistair heard Desmond and Jaret speaking animatedly about firing into a group of Darkspawn that their comrades were fighting. It had apparently been a new experience for each of them and Alistair was glad they had risen to the challenge.

A few hours later, on their way back to the barrier they were accosted again and Whitney had been injured. It was a minor injury, just a bolt to the arm and Morrigan was able to heal it quickly but the timbre of the conversation changed after that. Fighting Darkspawn was one thing, but being injured by them was apparently quite another.

Not even an hour after the second attack they were attacked again and over the din of the fighting Alistair yelled to Zevran, "Put the damn thing back on."

Zevran did as he was bid, taking a step back from the fighting and pulling the crystal out of the spelled pouch. Alistair and Sigrun both stood between him and the group of Darkspawn as Zevran was who they were most interested in and Zevran quickly slipped the crystal back around his neck tucking it inside of his armor before rejoining the fighting.

* * *

There were several minor injuries after the third fight and one fairly serious wound. Aldin had taken a Darkspawn blade in the side and was bleeding quite heavily. Morrigan called for Alistair and Sigrun to start bandaging the minor wounds while she attended to Aldin. As her teal energy wrapped around him, healing front and back simultaneously she was grateful again to Anders for his patience.

If he hadn't taken the time to figure out what she needed to know or had not been willing to take the time to teach her Aldin would have died. But though she would never be as good as Anders, and honestly was anyone, she was at least as good as Wynne had been. There was a scar when she finished but it was a small one.

Aldin sat up and looked down at the small scar and touched it gingerly.

"It was a deep wound, scarring was inevitable."

Aldin chuckled, "I'm alive and that scar is so small it will probably fade to nothing in time anyway. Thank you for my life."

Morrigan nodded, her social graces still a bit awkward at times. She stood and moved to where Alistair was finishing putting a bandage on Oghren's leg. "Anything I need to take a look at?"

Alistair shook his head, "No mostly just scrapes and shallow cuts. We're just covering them so they don't get infected. They can wait till you've had a chance to get some of your mana back, don't push yourself." He patted Oghren's leg, "There all set." He stood up and turned to the recruits. "Hopefully, that will be the last attack."

"Why do they keep attacking you?" The question was from Naveen and was directed at Zevran.

Zevran gave him a smile, "I told you I had a unique ability."

"Is it because you're an elf?"

Zevran chuckled, "No, perhaps I shall explain it after the Joining, but for now, we should be getting back."

With Zevran's call quelled once again the rest of the trip back to the barrier was uneventful other than Naveen's insistent prodding of Zevran. Morrigan eventually snapped at the mage to leave Zevran alone and after that he kept quiet.

* * *

When they arrived back at the barrier door Alistair strode straight to Sareyna while the recruits who had been waiting peppered the ones who had just returned with questions. Sareyna stood up to greet Alistair and was met with a kiss. When they finally pulled apart Alistair smiled, "Figured I'd better get that in now, before you leave."

Sareyna chuckled.

Alistair turned more serious and shook his head. Zevran was still standing and speaking with the recruits who had just returned. "As soon as you hit your first group of Darkspawn make him put that Maker forsaken crystal back on. He's gotten stronger I think. When he took it off I felt it and I think Sigrun did too. She whipped her head around and looked at him.

I kept thinking I was hearing music, but it was him. And we kept getting attacked, I made him put it back on finally, after that it was clear all the way back. They are just drawn to him and his damn call."

Sareyna looked to Zevran; he seemed to have felt her looking and turned to smile warmly at her. Alistair snorted.

"Don't let him fool you, I think it made even him nervous, especially once he put it back on and we stopped being attacked." Alistair shook his head. "Even with four Wardens for the Darkspawn to detect we weren't attacked."

"Wow." Sareyna breathed a little uneasily.

Alistair nodded and kissed her on the temple. "You better get going, the sooner we can get this all over with the better."

Sareyna nodded pulled her pack on and walked over to the barrier doors.

* * *

Zevran was already waiting and he reached out and squeezed her hand briefly, "Ready to go play in the dark, Querida?"

Sareyna shook her head, "No, but let's go anyway." She turned back to the recruits, "Alright, let's get headed out."

Her group immediately came to the door and they all left, leaving Alistair's group to defend the barrier and to recover from their excursion. Sareyna waited for three hours before she had Zevran take the crystal off. When he did she almost staggered a little. It was like tendrils had come off of Zevran and wrapped around her body.

She closed her eyes and trembled as she remembered the night the two of them had spent reveling in Zevran's call. She felt a hand at her elbow and opened her eyes to see Anders looking her over closely.

"Are you alright, 'Reyna?"

Sareyna nodded, "He's just strong, loud."

Anders nodded, "I felt it a bit when he took it off, like a shiver across my skin, either it's gone or I'm already used to it."

Zevran was watching as she looked up and she could see from the heat in his eyes that he was remembering that night as well. She shook her head a bit trying to clear it before moving forward again. Zevran walked close to her and she could feel him touching her even though his hands were at his sides. His voice was soft when he spoke, quiet, barely above a whisper and meant only for her.

"I wanted to be with him like this, to share with him what we shared. Would you be open to trying it again, Querida?"

"I can't even think right now Zevran; you weren't like this before, not this strong."

Zevran nodded, "It dissipates a little with time. I think the crystal almost traps it a bit so it's stronger when I first take it off." He stopped and looked down the tunnel, "Darkspawn." He said sharply, loudly enough for everyone to hear.

Behind them came the hiss of blades being drawn. Sareyna pulled her swords loose and held them lightly in her hands as did Zevran. As they came closer Sareyna felt the familiar buzzing and from behind her she heard Anders.

"Put the crystal back on Zevran."

"They're not close enough yet."

Anders chuckled, "Oh yes they are." A crackle of lightning shot down the tunnel illuminating it as it flew. A few hundred yards down the tunnel a group of Darkspawn was lit up for a moment before there were several inhuman howls and the lightning dispersed.

Zevran tugged the crystal free from its pouch and slipped it on as the sound of armor clad Darkspawn feet clattered down the tunnel heading straight for them.

"How many, do you think?" Anders asked lightly.

Zevran turned to him, "Get back, we're going to need you to save yourself for healing. There's nearly fifty of them."

Anders cursed and headed towards the back of the group, "If you can heal come with me."

Cearo turned and followed him to the back of the group and several yards behind him. Anders was talking to her, saying something but Sareyna couldn't hear it. Her mind was already turning to the problem in front of them though.

"Eoghan, can you get us some light?"

The mage stepped forward and two spells followed in quick succession. Sareyna watched with a smile as grease slicked down both sides of the tunnel in front of them for a good distance and a moment later they were set on fire by the mage. "Will that help?"

Sareyna beamed at him, "Definitely, I want you and Nathaniel to start taking them out as soon as they're in range, try to thin their numbers a bit."

Eoghan nodded, "I can't cast as far as Anders, Commander."

Sareyna nodded, "Not many can, just wait till they're in your range."

Several seconds passed with the sound of Darkspawn coming towards them before Nathaniel started letting arrows fly, muffled screams were heard from down the corridor, but Sareyna couldn't even see the creatures yet. Eoghan was staring in wonder as Nathaniel's bow worked quickly, methodically.

Suddenly, his attention snapped back down the corridor and he let loose a spell of dark maroon colored magic that zipped down the corridor disappearing into the dark. A few seconds later more shrieks were heard though most of the Darkspawn were beyond the reach of the fire which had started to fade.

Eoghan cast again, replacing the grease that had burned off and then he was shooting fireballs down the tunnel. Everything started moving quickly as Darkspawn began shrieking in anger and running more quickly down the tunnel.

"Let them come to us. The longer it takes them to get to us the more Eoghan and Nathaniel can kill."

It wasn't long, only about ten seconds later when the Darkspawn were upon them. And Sareyna was working with Zevran at her side to kill them, maim them before they could reach the recruits behind them. Nathaniel backed away from the fighting and took Eoghan with him.

Sareyna continued to hear the quiet whistle of Nathaniel's arrows and could feel the magic being cast around her though she often didn't see it. She heard a pained scream from behind her but kept herself focused on the Darkspawn still swarming them. Her heart started pounding harder in her chest when she heard another strangled cry from behind her, this one obviously a man.

Just as she was beginning to wonder if it was ever going to stop, if she would be able to keep lifting her arms to fight them off she felt a gentle wave of energy settle over her. The magic was a beautiful silvery grey color but Sareyna had no time to think about it as she felt revitalized and rejoined the fight with renewed vigor.

At last the fight was over, everyone was breathless and sat down heavily on the ground as Cearo and Anders made the rounds. Anders stopped when he got to Sareyna. "Are you alright?"

She nodded, "Just a few scratches, who was screaming?"

"Sklya took a sword through the thigh, nicked the artery, but she'll be fine. And Druce took an axe to the shoulder, he'll be alright too. They are both going to need a few days to get back to top form, but nothing to worry about."

"Any other injuries I should know about?"

Anders was quiet for a moment, "Nathaniel got nicked with a poisoned blade. He says he knows the poison and he'll be alright, but we should keep an eye on him."

Zevran had been sitting beside her, and stood, "Let me go talk to him, see what it was. He works with poisons as much as I do and assassins are known to build up their tolerances to poisons, so it's probably nothing." He left to go see Nathaniel who was retrieving any salvageable arrows.

"Give me and Cearo about twenty minutes to finish up with minor wounds and then we can get headed back." Anders left her to move on to the next person.

Sareyna sat back against the wall of the Deep Roads, ignoring the filth lining the walls. She was tired and already dreading the Joining. Varel would be waiting with the rest of the supplies when they returned but the two of them had decided that there were now enough Wardens that he no longer needed to attend the Joinings, he had enough things on his plate as Seneschal.

* * *

The walk back to the barrier doors was uneventful other than Anders' bad jokes and the constant feeling of Elsweth's eyes on her back as well as Zevran's. If she survived the Joining Sareyna would have to speak with her about it, but no need for a conflict yet, neither of them were sure why Elswyth was staring at them anyways.

The barrier doors were shut and Anders made a delightful stew for everyone. Sareyna smiled as she tasted it, the man was full of surprises. She had eaten his cooking before but it was always plain fare, meant to keep well for extended periods of time. With a trip that was expected to last about a week they had been able to bring along fresher supplies.

The vegetables still had a bit of snap to them and yet the venison was tender and not overly salty. Sareyna relished every bite and watched as the other Wardens did the same. She noticed Naveen and Eoghan also eating with relish. Sareyna smiled to herself, the other recruits would learn in time what a rare treat this was when travelling.

She fell into a deep and dreamless sleep that night as Anders and Desmond took the first watch, not that there should be much to watch against, but better to get them used to it now. She was awoken a few hours before dawn, as was most everyone else when Anders let out a strangled cry into the darkness. Sareyna was up on her feet and at his side in moments. He was talking in his sleep and Sareyna shook him to try to wake him.

"Querida, I wouldn't do that." Zevran warned cautiously.

"He's having a nightmare."

"Exactly."

Ignoring him Sareyna shook him again, "Anders, wake up." Her voice was loud in the darkness of the Deep Roads. "Anders." She called again, louder this time. "Aghh," she cried out as electricity bolted through her wrist and up her arm.

Anders sat up quickly his breath coming hard and fast, his eyes wide and his hand still locked around Sareyna's wrist.

"Anders, stop it you're hurting me."

Anders let go of her wrist as if it had burned him. "Shit," he pushed his hair out of his eyes, "Let me see it."

Sareyna held her burned wrist out to him.

"Why did you do that? You should know never to touch me when I'm sleeping."

"You were having a nightmare." She said evenly.

Anders flushed though she could barely see it in the dark, "Was I making a lot of noise?"

Sareyna nodded.

Anders sighed, "There, all better, next time just throw water on me."

Sareyna smiled, "I'll definitely consider it."

Anders shook his head, "Get back to sleep." With that he rolled over ignoring the stunned looks from everyone.

* * *

As they ambled into the main hall Sareyna saw the a small table set up with the Joining Chalice sitting on it and a small metal flask which she was sure held some Archdemon blood. Varel greeted them all as they entered and told Sareyna everything was ready and waiting for the vials. Sareyna thanked him and he left.

"Everyone give your vials to either myself, Alistair or Zevran. Then go get washed up and report back here immediately."

While the recruits were washing up they prepared the Darkspawn and Archdemon blood in a large metal pitcher along with the lyrium. That way they could pour just a bit for each person's Joining, so the Chalice would be empty after each person drank and none of the blood would spilled onto the carpet of the main hall.

Sareyna looked at Alistair when they were done, "I'm nervous."

Alistair nodded, "Me too."

The other Wardens stood around them and she could see her concern etched on most of their faces.

"I will take care of anyone who tries to leave, Querida." Zevran spoke softly.

Nathaniel stepped forward, "I'll help him, if need be."

Sareyna nodded, "The rest of us are going to help catch them as they fall. We don't need someone surviving the Joining just to die from a head wound when they fall."

Anders snorted, "No one caught me."

"No one caught any of us." Sareyna added, "Because apparently I'm a little slow at realizing what a bad idea it is to let people fall on stone floors, carpeted or not."

Anders chuckled and the others joined them, except for Justice who just shook his head. The laughter died when the first of the recruits returned, it was Skyla dressed in leather trousers and a light weight tunic.

"Is this alright, Commander?"

Sareyna nodded, "Its fine, it doesn't matter honestly."

Quietly, they all stood and waited until everyone had returned to the main hall. She had everyone line up and she looked them over carefully, in a few moments some of them would breath no more and she wanted to make sure she remembered each of their faces, their names. It seemed cruel that she needed to sentence some of them to immediate death to have the tools to fight the Darkspawn. Curse Renault anyways.

As the recruits all stood watching her expectantly Alistair spoke from behind her.

"Since the first, these words have been spoken at the ceremony: Join us brothers and sisters. Join us in the shadows where we stand vigilant. Join us as we carry the duty that cannot be forsworn. And should you perish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten, and that one day we shall join you."

The recruits looked at him as he spoke, awe, anticipation as well as a little fear on their faces. All the doors into and out of the hall had been locked while they had been waiting for the recruits to rejoin them. Zevran stood near the front door of the Keep and Nathaniel lingered by the stairs. None of the recruits seemed to notice either of them.

Sareyna picked up the goblet and handed it to Whitney who was the first one in the line. "Whitney, from this moment forth, you are a Grey Warden."

Whitney took the chalice and wrinkled her nose but swallowed the bitter fluid down. She coughed a little and Sareyna feared for her but then her body seemed to go rigid and her eyes turned white. Alistair caught her as she began to fall. Sareyna watched him as he carefully laid Whitney down on the floor and was relieved when he looked up at her and nodded.

Refilling the chalice she moved down the line. "Eoghan, from this moment forward, you are a Grey Warden."

Eoghan's eyes twinkled and he gave her a sweet smile before draining the chalice. He blinked twice after drinking the acrid fluid and then his eyes bulged and he gripped at his throat and Sareyna felt her heart lurch. Morrigan grabbed him as he began to fall to the ground and everyone in the room could see the poor boy was already dead before he touched the floor.

A soft sob was heard down the line from Skyla but she never moved from the line and never made any more noise. Sareyna looked down the line and saw most of the recruits were staring at the floor. They had figured out before they had left the Deep Roads what the purpose of the Darkspawn blood was, and in so doing realized the Joining could be fatal.

Sareyna had neither confirmed nor denied it but it seemed they had all resigned themselves to the fact before they had returned to the Keep. As Sareyna poured more into the Chalice and was preparing to hand it to Cearo, Desmond spoke up from further down the line.

"And what if we chose to leave now?" His voice was quiet but intense.

Zevran answered for him, "Then you will need to go through me, friend."

Desmond nodded but said nothing further and did not try to leave the line. But it seemed the discussion wasn't quite over with. It was Elswyth who spoke up this time, but her voice and her venom was directed towards Zevran.

"So you'd even kill for them?"

Sareyna was shocked, surprised at the elf's ire, but Zevran, as usual, took it in stride.

"I would do it because it is part of the job, part of being a Warden. You were given time to leave, you chose to stay. This is the way of things, nothing more."

Elswyth glared at him for another moment before her gaze slid back to the floor. Disruptions seemingly at an end, Sareyna handed the chalice to Cearo.

"Cearo, from this moment forth you are a Grey Warden."

Cearo drank the liquid down quickly and locked her eyes with Sareyna. Sareyna felt locked with her almost as the woman's body went rigid, still staring into Sareyna's eyes and then her eyes went white and Justice was easing her to the floor as she collapsed.

His baritone filled the room, "She will live, Commander."

Sareyna nodded moving down the line again and handed the Chalice to Naveen. "From this moment forth Naveen, you are a Grey Warden." She intoned.

He paused before lifting the chalice. "If I die Commander, don't burn me, please bury me."

Sareyna nodded and watched as he drank, her heart feeling like it had stopped in her chest. After what felt like a lifetime but was mere moments, Oghren was lying the elf on the ground and nodding to Sareyna. Sareyna was relieved, maybe this wouldn't be as terrible as she feared, maybe there wouldn't be many deaths, maybe she and the others had picked well.

She handed the chalice to Aldin, and uttered her mantra. Before she was even done Aldin had lifted the chalice to his lips and had swallowed all of it down. Seemingly before he had even finished swallowing he was choking and falling forward, Anders scrabbling to get a hold of him as he lurched. Anders set him down gently on the floor and he spasmed for several long seconds while Anders struggled to hold him fairly still, finally his body went limp and his ragged breathing stopped.

Anders stood without a word and moved to the far wall out of the sight of most of the recruits and Wardens. Sareyna didn't say anything, she just moved on knowing he would need a few moments to collect himself. The chalice went next to Druce. As Alistair eased him gently to the ground Sareyna let out a breath thankful that he lived.

As Sigrun eased Skyla to the ground she echoed all the Warden's sentiments, "Thank the Ancestors, she's alright."

Elswyth and Desmond both followed in short order, and they too lived. Finally, it was just Jaret. He gave Sareyna a bit of a smile after she had handed him the chalice and spoken the ritual words.

"Last man standing, I guess." He took an unsteady breath and looked at the others lying on the floor unconscious or dead and then turned back to Sareyna. "I remember you from Highever, never met a man you couldn't beat."

Sareyna smiled at him, she could almost remember him, a bit shy perhaps she thought.

"Send my ashes back to Highever, please."

"Jaret," she spoke softly, her voice an admonishment.

Jaret shook his head, "No, I know what's coming but I'm not a coward." With that he lifted the chalice and drained it. He gave her a sad little smile and as his body began to convulse she felt tears prick her eyes. She ran forward and grabbed him before anyone else could, wrapping her arms around him, "Fight dammit, Jaret, fight it."

Still he jerked and writhed in her arms before his body started going limp. He captured several strands of hair in his fingers, slipping through them before he passed away. Sareyna released him gently to the floor and stood up. She looked around the room at the Wardens, all of them looking as sick as she felt. She stormed towards the door to the Keep and Zevran wisely moved out of her way, opening the door as he moved.

Sareyna kicked the door the rest of the way open as she moved through it. "Fuck!" She yelled and then disappeared into the night.

* * *

Alistair watched her go and knew there was no way he could comfort her right now, but there were other things he could do for her. "Anders, Morrigan, stay here and keep an eye on them until they wake up. Justice and Nathaniel are going to help me carry the bodies out to the edge of the Keep. Sigrun, Oghren, Zevran hitch up the cart and head out to the forest and start getting wood for the pyres. It's a bit of a trek but I want the wood tonight. The three of us will join you as soon as we have moved the bodies."

Everyone moved all at once, except Anders who was still hovering near the far wall. Alistair let him be and moved to pick up Aldin and carry him from the Keep. There was too much to do to try to coddle Anders now, Morrigan would either help him or she wouldn't, but Anders was a healer it wasn't as if he hadn't seen death before.

It seemed to take hours to get the wood for the pyres but when they returned Sareyna was still missing. Justice, Alistair and Nathaniel built the pyres as Sigrun and Oghren went inside to help the newly awakened junior Wardens find rooms for themselves within the Keep.

Another wing of the Keep had been opened, aired out and repaired in preparation for the new Wardens and perhaps unsurprisingly the new Wardens all decided to take rooms in that wing leaving several still unoccupied rooms in the first wing. Alistair didn't take it personally; it could be hard to integrate into a group at first. And he knew that after everything that they had been through together the more senior Wardens had a tight bond, just as the Joining and the deaths would form a bond among the Junior Wardens.

The pyres were built, the bodies placed upon them and guards posted to watch over them for the night as it had gotten quite late. There was no fancy cooked dinner, just platters of meats, cheeses, breads and fruits that were quickly demolished.

Alistair and Zevran climbed the stairs to their rooms and though Alistair was exhausted he was worried that Sareyna had not as yet returned. Zevran pushed Alistair into their bedroom and helped him to get undressed, his fingers caressing Alistair more than they needed to as they did so.

Alistair gently took Zevran's wrists into his hand, "Stop Zev, I don't want to be distracted."

Zevran gave him a gentle smile. "Pen's with her. And I think she's probably in the kennel. I heard the puppies barking a bit earlier." Zevran's own puppy, Menrva, was in the kennel, she was too young to take into the Deep Roads and he hadn't fetched her as of yet.

Alistair relaxed fractionally, even if she wasn't in the kennel, knowing Pentheryn was with her made her absence easier, she wasn't out there somewhere wandering off on her own. He let Zevran pull him into bed, he pulled Zevran close and the two of them waited for either Sareyna to return or for sleep to claim them.

* * *

Anders pushed open the door to the kennel and closed it shut behind him. He walked to where the small candle was lit near the end. Pentheryn gave a friendly bark and he heard Sareyna hush the big dog. He still couldn't see her, but as he got closer he could see why, she was inside of the last stall watching the puppies play.

The door of the stall was open and Pentheryn lay in the doorway, obviously keeping any puppies from escaping. Anders thought they had grown in just the few days since he had seen them last. "Are they helping?"

Sareyna nodded, "A little," she scooted over and gestured for him to sit next to her. "It was good really; ten recruits and we only lost three, that's unheard of. Alistair says he has never heard of a Joining with so many recruits before. At least not in Ferelden."

"But?"

"He gave up Anders, before he had even brought the chalice to his lips he had already consigned himself to death, there was no way he could survive, he defeated himself."

"Perhaps he just knew."

"It makes no sense."

"Try not to dwell on it, we have the pyre's ready to burn in the morning and the new wardens are all settled. Time to get ready for your other recruiting trips. Didn't you say you wanted to make sure the other Wardens never had a reason to come back to Ferelden?"

Sareyna leaned her head against Anders' shoulder. "Are you alright?"

Anders nodded, "It was just awful, I've never seen a death like that before."

"At least we didn't have to take anyone's life for trying to leave."

"I was worried about the girl, Elswyth, what is her deal with Zevran anyways?"

"I don't know."

Anders stood and held out his hand, "I should get you back, I'm sure your men are worried about you."

"Why did you come looking for me?"

Anders shook his head as he pulled her to her feet, "I didn't originally, I just needed some air, needed to clear my head, but when I saw the kennel I knew you would be in here."

Sareyna closed the door to the stall and picked up the candle illuminating their way out of the kennel. "I am a bit predictable I suppose."

"I'm not complaining, I think a little stability in my life is nice."

Sareyna laughed as she closed the kennel, Pentheryn padding at her side, "I never said I was stable."

Anders chuckled and the two walked back to the keep, hurrying a bit in the cool night air.

* * *

Anders had only been in his room for a few minutes when he heard a light knock. He didn't bother pulling his tunic back on he just opened the door and was surprised to find Elswyth standing in the hall her eyes raking over him critically, and he was pleased to note, appreciatively.

"Can I help you?"

Elswyth smiled up at him, "I heard you were the guy to come see if I was looking for a quick tumble."

Anders smirked, "They said I was quick?"

Elswyth's smile cracked a bit bigger, "No, quick wasn't exactly what they said."

"So what was it that they said that drove you to my room?"

"You're not interested in relationships, no strings attached and no hard feelings." She paused and let her eyes travel over his chest and abdomen again, "They might have added something about talented as well."

Anders chuckled, "Usually, I wouldn't hesitate to take you up on your offer, though not in my room, but not tonight, sorry."

"Not in your room?"

Anders shook his head.

"Fine, why not tonight?"

"I'm guessing it's for the same reason that you're looking to get bedded tonight. I'm a little wrung out from the Joining, not really in the mood."

Elswyth gave a short nod and turned away looking frustrated but not angry. Anders closed his door with a smile, he may not have been in the mood, but he always liked compliments. He sat in one of the chairs in his room and pulled off his boots before stripping the rest of the way and crawling into bed both physically and emotionally exhausted.


	41. Chapter 41

**Loose Ends**

The next morning after the pyres had been burned, Jaret's ashes collected to be sent to Highever and breakfast was over, Sareyna decided she needed to speak with Elswyth. The woman had spent the entire morning so far staring at Zevran again, watching his every move and after her outburst at the Joining it was clear something was wrong.

She caught up to Elswyth not far from her room. "Elswyth?"

The elf stopped and turned, "Yes?"

"We need to talk."

"Regarding?"

"About Zevran, would you like to go somewhere more private?"

Elswyth shook her head, "_I_ have nothing to be ashamed of."

Sareyna raised a brow at the woman's inflection, which seemed to indicate she felt Sareyna did. "Alright, here is fine, would you like to explain it to me then?"

Elswyth snorted, "Are you jealous? Worried I'll move in on your little pet?"

Sareyna let out a bark of surprised laughter. "Not at all, and he's not my little pet. Zevran is a Warden."

"Was that his choice or yours?"

Sareyna's brow furrowed, "What?"

"Everyone knows you spared his life and so he followed you during the Blight. Then he disappeared for months and when he's seen again he's still with you. Did you threaten him, torture him?"

Sareyna's head bobbed in understanding, "I see, you will have to ask Zevran what did or did not happen to him and where he was during those months, it is not for me to share with you. I do suggest you do it sooner rather than later. Zevran has been lenient so far, but he is not one to be watched so closely."

"The two of you never leave him alone."

"Again, you'll have to speak with him regarding that."

"You have nothing to say for yourself then."

"Sure, if you care to hear it. I love him; it's as plain and as simple as it is for me."

Elswyth's eyes went wide, apparently that was not something she expected. She didn't speak and Sareyna took the opportunity to leave, she had something waiting in her office that needed her attention and she wasn't going to stand in the hallway and justify herself to this woman who clearly had already made up her mind about her relationship with Zevran. Prejudice was a hard thing to get past for most people. Hopefully, Zevran could set her straight.

Sareyna locked her office door behind her and as she settled herself down at her desk alone and steeled herself to read the letter she had been avoiding. She had no more excuses to use to postpone the inevitable. The tournament was over, the Joining was over, the dreams had not returned. No, it was time to deal with the letter now.

Carefully, she broke the wax seal and unfolded the parchment. The letter was encrypted as she knew it would be, all correspondence from Weisshapt was, but she had the cipher memorized. The script was heavy and dark as if written by someone in anger. As she read over the letter she nearly laughed.

_Commander Theirin, _

_As I am sure you are aware, we have received correspondence from the King of Ferelden. I must admit I was more than a little surprised to hear from him instead of from yourself of the ban on Grey Wardens entering Ferelden. We are well aware of Ferelden's pride in their self sufficiency, it was no doubt why we were not able to get the much needed Wardens into the country during the Blight._

_We would ask that you appeal to the king and remind him that a Warden's duty supersedes that of the crown. Ferelden must be properly protected from the Darkspawn threat and being that there are so few of you currently, I feel it is best to bolster your number as quickly as possible by sending you Wardens from neighboring countries. As it has come to the attention of the Wardens here in Weisshapt that the king is indeed your father-in-law I trust you will find no difficulty in getting him to agree to this request. _

_I am also concerned with how much influence the king seems to have over the Wardens in Ferelden and think it would be best for all parties involved for you to tender your resignation as Commander and we will send a suitable replacement as soon as possible. There is no shame in stepping down, after all you are very young and new to the Wardens, a lot of responsibility was placed on your shoulders very quickly._

_The rest of the Wardens and I feel that after some time serving as Lieutenant under the new Commander that perhaps you will better prepared to take the reins of command over when the time comes for your replacement's Calling._

_We wait expectantly for your swift response._

_Sincerely,_

_Merten Waechter_

_First Warden_

Sareyna set the parchment on her desk and leaned back in her chair, the man had been very careful about what he had said in the letter. Her immediate instinct was to call him out on all he had put her family through and to praise Maric for standing up to them. In the long run she knew it would cause more problems than it would solve.

Pulling open the top drawer of her desk she pulled out a piece of parchment, an inkwell and a quill as well as her sealing wax and Warden Signet ring. As she arranged everything neatly on her desk and lit a candle so she could melt the wax for the seal she thought over exactly how to word her response.

_First Warden Waechter, _

_My Wardens and I would like to thank you for your concern of our welfare. We are indeed aware of the correspondence the King sent to you. As to your question of why the information came from him and not me directly, it was simply that his letter had already been sent before we were informed of his intentions._

_I regret to inform you that as of yet the King's investigation into the threats upon his family have not exonerated the Grey Wardens operating outside of Ferelden. He is indeed aware that a Warden's duty supersedes the crown, but he is adamant in this matter, as I am sure you can understand._

_King Maric is also aware that Ferelden must be protected from the Darkspawn threat, especially in the wake of the recent Blight which is why after careful consideration he has decided to allow the Ferelden Grey Wardens to remain and has decided against his ancestor's precedent of removing all possibility of threat to his family by banning the order outright._

_As far as our current numbers I assure you the Wardens in Ferelden are not hurting. We recently nearly doubled our numbers. In fact, considering historically the Wardens numbered roughly twenty in Ferelden since they were allowed to re-enter the country we have nearly a full compliment and we also have the King's blessing to recruit more as we deem necessary._

_If you fear the King's influence in the Wardens I am more than happy to resign my commission in lieu of another Ferelden Warden. I have enclosed a list of the current Wardens and all of their qualifications. Please notify me of who you would like to replace me as soon as possible and I will make sure the transition happens as quickly and easily as possible._

_Sincerely,_

_Sareyna Theirin_

_Ferelden Warden Commander_

She dusted and blotted the letter and set it aside. Pulling out another piece of parchment she quickly detailed all of the Wardens and any skills she considered proof of leadership ability. She highly doubted the Wardens would press her to step down, but in all truth she would not be overly upset if they did, so long as she knew that the person replacing her was competent.

When both pages were dry she folded them neatly together and sealed them with the blue wax denoting Warden Correspondence and pressed her signet ring into the pooled wax. Satisfied that the issue was sufficiently dealt with she carried the letter down the stairs and put it into the hands of the private that handled all of the Keep's correspondence.

As she headed back up the stairs to her office she heard Anders calling to her and stopped to see what he needed.

"'Reyna, when do you think we might be heading back to Amaranthine?"

Sareyna shrugged, "I'm not sure, why?"

"There are a few things I need to get there."

"Why don't you have the Keep's merchants get them for you?"

Anders shifted awkwardly, "Well they are of a rather delicate nature to be honest."

"You mean illegal?"

"No, I mean delicate, expensive and not for casual consumption. Some of them can be deadly if not handled properly. Anyone having to transport them will charge a small fortune and you're not going to find them anywhere other than a well known port city."

Sareyna scowled, "What exactly do you need this stuff for?"

Anders flashed her a smile, "What's wrong, don't trust me?"

"Don't be an ass, you know I do. I'm just curious."

"Well some of them have medicinal applications and some of them are for experiments. Things I've read from Avernus' books and put together for possible ways to help Morrigan with Flemeth."

"Alright, give me a few days to see if anyone else wants or needs anything in Amaranthine and I'll send a couple of you to the city."

"Why don't I just take Morrigan?"

Sareyna shook her head, "Absolutely not. You're to go with a non mage, and that's a rule when you or Morrigan leave the Keep."

"We're not children." Anders was glaring.

"It's not you I'm worried about. As much as I would love to believe that all it would take to keep you and Morrigan safe is the emblem on your clothes I just can't, especially not after what happened here. I'm sorry."

Anders nodded, "Fine, I don't want to argue about it."

Sareyna smirked, "Good, I'm glad we can agree."

Anders snorted and headed off while Sareyna continued up the stairs. Sitting back at her desk she finished up with the few pieces of remaining Warden business and headed down to noon meal. Alistair and Zevran were already there, Trelain sitting on Alistair's lap as they ate.

It still surprised her to see so many Wardens sitting around the tables, all eating enough for three men or more. Shannon had needed to increase the amount of food kept on hand so much that she had requested permission to expand the size of the larder and for two scullery maids. The latter request had surprised everyone; Shannon was infamous for not wanting help.

Sareyna sat down next to Zevran and combed her fingers through his hair fondly, "Did all of your things get moved okay?"

Zevran nodded, "Everything is done, Querida. Anders can have them move his things whenever he likes."

"I'm sure he'll be pleased, he's been wanting a larger room for months." Sareyna started filling her plate, she was starving this afternoon.

"What were you doing this morning? The office was locked when I came to help with the paperwork so I went to get Trelain so I didn't disturb you." Alistair had a worried look on his face.

"Just dealing with some Weisshapt business, nothing to worry about. I took care of it."

Alistair scowled, "What did they want?"

Sareyna smiled, "For me to influence the king and then step down."

Alistair shook his head, "You told them to piss off, I hope."

"Not exactly, but I don't think we'll need to worry too much. It's not like Maric is going to lift that edict any time soon. And the Crows have said they will take no more contracts against us."

Zevran made a little noise of dissatisfaction. "Actually Querida, they said they would take no more contracts on you, and not all the cells abide by those edicts."

Sareyna chuckled, "Well rain all over my parade why don't you?"

Zevran stroked her cheek, "Sorry, I just don't want you to think you're completely safe."

Sareyna nodded, "Okay, we'll just have to keep being careful. At least we know that Weisshapt knows who we are; they mentioned me being the King's daughter-in-law." She looked around the room looking for an excuse to change the subject. "Why are all the new Warden's sitting all clumped together by themselves?"

Alistair gave her a small smile, "Give them some time. This life can be a bit of a shock, especially considering we just had the Joining and lost some of them. Not to mention working for the Hero of Ferelden is probably a bit intimidating at first."

Sareyna sighed, "That title has brought me nothing but trouble. Think I could get Maric to take it back?"

Alistair chuckled, "Not likely, and at least you're not known as The Bastard Prince."

Sareyna laughed back, "Yes, I suppose there are worse things I could be known as. Do you think…"

Sareyna was cut off by one of the privates running into the Keep. "Warden Howe? Does anyone know where I can find Ser Howe?" His voice was half panicked.

Sareyna stood and walked over to her. "Calm down, what's going on?"

"There is an urgent message from Amaranthine for him Commander."

Sareyna nodded, "He should be in his office, do you know where it is?"

The private nodded then ran out of the refectory. Sareyna shook her head and sat back down resuming her meal. Alistair watched her silently for a few moments before he spoke.

"Shouldn't you find out what that's all about?"

Sareyna shook her head, "Nathaniel will tell me if it's pertinent to me. No need to go prying. You know how Nathaniel is."

Alistair didn't look placated but didn't argue either, "Yes, I suppose he is a bit of a private man."

The group continued their noon meal, Wardens filing out one by one until Sareyna stood up stretching and left the refectory with Alistair, Zevran and Trelain. As they crossed the main hall Zevran stroked his hand down Sareyna's back.

"What is on the schedule for the rest of today, Querida?"

"I was thinking we might just watch the recruits today and assess where each needs the most improvement. I want to try to specialize the training for as many of them as we can." She turned to Alistair and ruffled Trelain's hair, "And we can keep him with us today if you two would like."

Alistair gave her a small smile, "That might be nice."

As they headed out to the training yards to see who might be out training, heavy footsteps came dashing down the stairs. "Commander!"

Sareyna paused and turned to the steps, "Yes, Nathaniel?"

"I must go to Amaranthine at once. An urgent message just arrived from my sister stating she needed to see me as soon as possible, I need to make sure she's alright." Nathaniel was clearly trying to sound calm but a touch of fear crept through into his voice.

Sareyna nodded, "Of course Nathaniel, but I need you to take Anders with you. He was looking for someone to go with him for some things he needs in Amaranthine."

"Commander, I really can't wait for him. Besides this is a personal issue."

"This isn't open for debate Nathaniel, take Anders with you or you're not going at all."

Nathaniel sighed and was clearly annoyed but didn't argue further. He headed back up the stairs, presumably to find Anders as Sareyna headed outside.


	42. Chapter 42

**Collared**

Nathaniel really didn't want Anders going with him to Amaranthine. The mage was mouthy and Nathaniel was in no mood for his humor. Morrigan was still barely speaking with him and Delilah had sent an urgent summons to the Keep for him. The last thing he needed was someone else he had to watch out for.

But in the end Nathaniel had no choice. There were things that Anders needed that he could only get in Amaranthine. The cost of having them shipped from the harbor was far too prohibitive to keep them on hand. And Nathaniel was sure that a lot of the reason the Commander had eventually ordered him to allow Anders along was because the mage couldn't travel alone. It just wasn't safe, as recent events had shown.

So, here they were, riding to Amaranthine as quickly as the horses could go, and then some, thanks to a haste spell from Anders and a few rejuvenation spells as well. Delilah hadn't said what the problem was but she had requested that Nathaniel come at soon as he was able. And with no other family he wasn't about to leave his sister alone in a time of need.

Nathaniel was begrudgingly thankful to Anders when it took them only a day to reach Amaranthine. They stopped in front of Delilah's house and Anders made himself scarce to do his shopping while Nathaniel checked in on his sister. Nathaniel's brother-in-law met him at the door with a smile and bid Nathaniel to enter.

"I must say, we weren't expecting you quite so quickly." He gestured towards another door with his hand. "They're in there."

"They?"

"Aye, your sister and your nephew."

Nathaniel smiled, he had raced there thinking the worst, and had been blessed instead. He strolled across the room and knocked lightly on the door. "Delilah?"

A thin, tired voice came from the other side. "Come in, Nathaniel."

He pushed open the door and Delilah smiled at him, tired but radiant, from her seat in a rocking chair. In her arms was a tightly swaddled baby. "Say hello to your nephew, Padric."

Nathaniel gave a little laugh, "There's a familiar name."

Delilah nodded, "Yes, trying to salvage the family name shouldn't all be on your shoulders. The Howe's have been both Heroes and Pariahs before and we will weather this as well. And I thought naming him after a Howe who was also a Warden was appropriate."

Nathaniel gave a small nod as he crossed the room to look at the boy. "Thank you."

Deliah looked at him curiously, "Whatever for?"

"For reminding me that I do this not only for myself, but for my family."

* * *

Anders didn't get to Amaranthine much, in fact he never got there at all unless he was running down bandits or Darkspawn or some other terrible thing. So, he was enjoying himself quite a bit today. He had nothing to do but shop, and honestly how hard was it to spend money, especially when the money wasn't even his.

He was strolling to the next stall when he was hit from behind. A pained grunt escaped him as he felt his mana drained and his head hit the road. He tried to holler for Nathaniel but all that came out was a squeak. Anders knew he wouldn't survive another encounter with the Templars so he tried to climb to his feet to run, but he was too late. He barely made it to his knees before his world went black.

* * *

Anders tried to peel open his eyes, they felt like they had lead weights attached to them. Finally, opening one a sliver he frowned, the sky was already darkening which meant that hours had passed, but he still felt as drained as when they had first smited him.

Anders groaned, his neck was burning and tender and his head ached horribly. He tried to move his hands but found they were bound behind him. But he was not in magic suppressing bracers. Anders felt a coil of anger roll over his body. That meant they had to have been smiting him all day. No wonder he felt like something an ogre spat out.

Anders closed his eyes again, it was better to stay oblivious if he could. No one even knew he was missing, in all likelihood he would be dead before anyone even knew he was gone. He almost laughed but bit his tongue at the last second.

Nathaniel had insisted that Anders wear trousers if he was going to Amaranthine with him. Anders had tried to tell Nathaniel that it wouldn't matter, but the rogue insisted nonetheless. Of course, Anders would never admit to Nathaniel that riding a horse could be tricky in a robe, not to mention it chafed, then again, it didn't matter because he would likely never see Nathaniel, or anyone for that matter, again.

Sareyna was going to be so angry with him. She had warned him to keep an eye out for Templars. He wondered what she would do now, what Maric would do when they found out what happened to him. Perhaps they would never know. The thought struck a blow to Anders' heart, but it was short lived.

Sareyna would know, she knew the dangers he faced when even he denied them. Anders could almost pity the Templars who had taken him. They would pay for it with their lives and more when Sareyna found them. And if she could find proof, maybe his death would mean something, maybe Maric could use it with the Chantry to help the mages.

Anders tried to push himself back down into unconsciousness. He didn't want to be a martyr, he didn't want to roll over and play nice for the Templars. But not even an ounce of humor or obstinance could he find within himself. His mind kept flashing back to that cell in the dungeon of the Circle, and every time it did Anders felt part of himself shrivel. Utterly defeated, he pretended he was someplace else.

* * *

"Nathaniel, I think there might be a problem with your friend."

Nathaniel stood and walked towards his brother-in-law. "My friend?"

"The mage that comes to town with the Wardens from time to time, I thought he was one of you."

"He is."

"Well then someone forgot to tell the Chantry 'cause Glassarik jus' told me four Templars dragged him off after they knocked him out."

Nathaniel scowled, "I have to go."

"Right, they was headed for the back of the city, bad element back there, be careful."

Nathaniel slung his bow onto his back and sped out the door. He grabbed the reins for Anders' horse and tethered them to the saddle of his own horse before climbing on. Nathaniel couldn't understand why the Templars would be after Anders, Sareyna had made sure to notify the Chantry and the Templars stationed in Amaranthine just to avoid these situations.

Perhaps the Templars were new recruits that didn't know who Anders was yet. Tapping the horse up to a canter as he headed towards the back of the city he purposely ignored the small voice in him saying he should have listened to Morrigan about the Templars. He couldn't worry about his argument with her right now, he needed to find Anders, and fast.

* * *

Nathaniel had been tracking the Templars for two days. He was surprised by how quickly they seemed to be moving considering there were four of them and Anders. Unfortunately, his hope that this was all just a misunderstanding was dashed to pieces when the group specifically took a route that would take them far around Vigil's Keep even though they seemed to be headed for Kinloch Hold.

He was getting close, the tracks he was following were pretty fresh, only a couple of hours old. Nathaniel just hoped that Anders was still alive when he reached them. It seemed they were keeping him alive so far, it was probably what the cart was for, to carry him back to the Circle.

* * *

Anders had begun hoping they would just kill him almost twenty hours before. He was in agony and the Templars just thought it was funny. Besides repeatedly smiting him, which kept him feeling like a bronto had been dancing on his body; they had also decided that it would be fun to use him as a practice dummy for their pugilist training.

His nose was broken as well as most of his ribs. He was pretty sure his jaw was broken and this morning they had dislocated his shoulder. There was one Templar who wasn't beating him, but he wasn't helping him exactly either. He just reminded the others that Anders had to make it back to the tower and as much as the others complained they all obeyed.

His neck still burned and ached, but at least now he knew what it was, though he almost wished he didn't. The Templars had decided that since being in the Circle wasn't enough of a reminder about where he belonged that perhaps a permanent collar would be more useful.

He hadn't seen, almost hoped he never would, but apparently they had gotten him tattooed while he was out cold. Thorned vines wrapped around his throat to remind him how dangerous he was and to remind him he was never supposed to be free and never would be.

Of course the Templars told him it wouldn't matter anyways; Anders would hang when they reached Kinloch Hold. He had killed Templars and so he would be brought to justice, or at least the Templar's version of justice. Anders knew that First Enchanter Irving wouldn't be able to save him this time.

* * *

Nathaniel swallowed down the bile in his throat as a tide of anger swept over him. This was not what the Templars were for, Anders, while he could be a bit of an ass was not a blood mage, not a monster. And even if he was, they shouldn't be torturing him like that.

He had found them shortly before dawn. Anders had been tied to a tree, his arms high above him and one of his arms was twisted wrong, his legs were tied tightly together then tied to the tree as well. The mage looked half dead as he hung limply from his arms.

Nathaniel had been able to curb his urge to run into the camp immediately. That would have just ended up with both of them dead. He had stalked around the camp slowly and silently taking in the four Templars and looking for a weak spot. And now he had found his opportunity.

One of the Templars wandered away from the camp to relieve himself. Nathaniel had plunged his short blade into the man's throat before he had even adjusted his armor. His hand muffled the man's garbled cry for help. He wiped the blade off on the skirt of the Templar's armor and stalked back towards the camp.

He unslung his bow and nocked a poison tipped arrow. He waited patiently for a clean shot and was rewarded when one of the Templars stood up from tending the fire. The arrow sang through the air with a satisfying whistle. It pierced the Templar through the throat; his gurgling cry alerted the other two who scattered from the camp.

That was alright, Nathaniel would find them, but he needed to cut the mage down from the tree, the stretch was clearly putting too much stress on his ribs, he was struggling to breathe. Nearly invisible, he clung to the shadows of early morning as he made his way to the tree.

He wrapped his arm around the mage as he cut him free. Anders didn't even acknowledge him, his head lolled on Nathaniel's shoulder as the assassin eased him to the ground. Nathaniel spoke softly to the tortured mage as he slid a knife into his hand.

"I'm going to go find them; you stay here, if they come back try to call for me, just a whistle or throwing a stone. Anything to let me know they are back." Anders eyes still seemed distant and Nathaniel wasn't sure what to do for him other than to find and kill the last two Templars. He sighed, "May the Maker watch over you Anders. I will be back."

Anders turned dull eyes to him and Nathaniel was a little relieved, at least he had heard Nathaniel. Nathaniel left him slumped against the tree as he slipped after the Templar that had left the camp nearest to Anders. Nathaniel felt the cold calculated mindset he had learned in the Free Marches slip over him again.

It had been a long time but it felt like an old shoe, a perfect fit and more than just a little comfortable. He kept his bow slung over his shoulder in favor of a couple of poisoned daggers. The Templar was easy to track, his heavy armor made him slow moving and left the path he had followed littered with broken branches and bent saplings.

Nathaniel moved so he was ahead of the man and as the man came barreling through a small clearing Nathaniel stepped out of the shadows in front of him. The Templar squeaked with surprise and the look of horror on his face was almost comical. Nathaniel's gravelly voice addressed the man. "You took a Grey Warden. You're not supposed to touch the Grey Wardens."

The Templar froze and didn't respond.

"And since when has physical abuse been the duty of a Templar. You are a disgrace."

The Templar finally seemed to regain himself, "That man is a maleficar and a murderer. We are bringing him to justice; he cannot be allowed to hide amongst the Grey Wardens."

Nathaniel was about to respond when he heard a choked scream come from the Templar's camp. He lunged forward and jerked the Templar's helmet off, slitting his throat in almost the same motion. Before the body had hit the ground he was off and running for the camp.

When he got there he was stunned by what he found. Anders was clutching the knife Nathaniel had given him and was stabbing the last Templar, who lie dead beside him, repeatedly in the face. Anders' own face was a mask of pain and rage.

Nathaniel rushed over to his side, "Anders, he's dead. You need to stop, they're all dead."

Anders froze with his good arm still poised in the air clutching the knife. He turned and looked at Nathaniel and gave a little chuckle which was cut short by the pain from his broken jaw. He put his arm down and sat back on his heels.

He looked at Nathaniel with shining eyes from unshed tears, "You came for me." He whispered hoarsely, wincing from the movement.

Nathaniel nodded, "You're a brother in arms. I would not leave you, Anders. No matter how much I sometimes wish you would just shut up." He paused for a second and looked Anders over, "Are you going to be alright? Can you heal yourself?"

Anders shook his head slowly, "I don't have any mana yet." His words were a bit garbled from pain and his broken jaw.

Nathaniel chewed his bottom lip thoughtfully, "How long?"

"A few hours." Anders rasped.

Nathaniel got up and made a circuit of the camp seeing what they had available. When he was done he came back to Anders. "If I put enough soft things in the cart, blankets, bedrolls, things like that will you be able to ride in it?"

"I don't really have a choice, we can't stay here," another pained whisper.

"Can you walk?"

"I need help."

Nathaniel nodded, "I'll be back, I need to get the cart ready and hook up the horses."

* * *

Anders gave a small nod and closed his eyes, leaning his head against the tree he was kneeling beside. When Nathaniel was out of sight Anders wept silently, he gently touched his fingers to his throat. He was so tired of being punished for being born. He was sick of being treated like a monster, like less than human.

He had chained himself with the yoke of the Grey Wardens and still the Templars were not satisfied. They hated him for living, for daring to exist and he'd had enough. The Templars were the monsters, jailers and torturers, executioners. He doubted Maric would be able to make a difference; a thousand years of fear and hatred were bred into every person in Thedas from birth.

The Chantry even managed to make a lot of mages hate themselves. They feared their own power, and even asked to be made into emotionless slaves. And Anders was so tired of it all, so tired of running and always having to look over his shoulder. He was tired of being hunted because he did not hate himself, did not fear his power and reveled in his humanity.

Anders awkwardly wiped away his tears as Nathaniel came back to get him. Nathaniel helped him to his feet and Anders struggled not to cry out in pain. He stood gingerly on his feet, they were a flaming shriek of agony, the Templars had decided to take a strap to the soles of his feet. The muscles in his body screamed from the long time he spent stretched.

"Nathaniel, my shoulder, I need you to put it back in its socket." His face was contorted in pain as he spoke, his words mumbled from his broken jaw.

Silently, Nathaniel nodded and rested Anders against the tree, "Ready?"

Anders nodded and let out a small cry of pain as Nathaniel twisted and popped it back into place, but the relief was immediate. It wasn't much, but Anders would take any comfort he could get. He looked to Nathaniel, "I want to go to Kinloch Hold."

Nathaniel shook his head, "You're going back to the Keep."

"Nathaniel," the single word both an admonishment and a plea.

Nathaniel shook his head, "You get Sareyna's permission and I'll take you anywhere you want. But you need the Commander's leave before you do anything, you know that Anders. Besides, you're obviously not thinking clearly."

Anders sighed, Nathaniel was right about him needing leave from Sareyna, but Anders thought maybe he was thinking clearly for the first time in years. He had to make sure that this never happened to him again, no matter what it took. He was done being a victim, the next Templar that came after him would regret it, if he lived that long.


	43. Chapter 43

**Side Effects**

Sareyna walked slowly down the stairs, she hated this part of being a Warden, but it was better to tell everyone now. The Wardens, old and new alike, were gathered in the refectory waiting for her. Alistair had gathered them and now stood in the far left hand corner of the room observing everyone.

The quiet voices she heard as she crossed the main hall died once she entered the refectory. Moving to the right she stood so everyone could see her clearly. She took a deep breath, taking in all the faces around her. They looked expectant, some apprehensive and a few looking excited. She wondered briefly what they would look like when the conversation was over.

Zevran was seated near the doors and he gave her an encouraging smile. Realizing that putting this off wouldn't make it any easier she took another deep breath.

"I'm sure you're all wondering why we called you here. The older Wardens are here for support and to try to help answer any questions you might have." At that there were several more murmurs and all the excitement had been leeched from the room. Sareyna took yet another deep breath and continued.

"There are a few things you need to know about being a Warden, some of which you may have discovered already." She scanned the room again; stomach twisted in knots, and wondered again how Duncan had done this for so long.

"By now, you have heard the screams in the middle of the night. I know that most of you have even been the ones doing the screaming at one point or another. You have all experienced the Darkspawn dreams at least once, if they have not plagued your sleep as of yet, you experienced it during the Joining. These dreams are now permanently a part of your life.

The taint that we take into ourselves lets us connect, in a small way, with the group mind of the Darkspawn. It allows us to know when they are near and as our connection develops we can determine other things, like how many Darkspawn there are and even what kinds of Darkspawn are near. Unfortunately, it has some negative side effects as well, we dream of the Darkspawn.

These dreams seem vivid and real and terrifying. Some people are lucky and do not have much trouble with the dreams, while others have difficulty sleeping their whole life. And as time goes on the Darkspawn are able to sense us as well, they know what we are and they do seek us out."

"What do you mean seek us out?" Naveen didn't seem upset, just curious.

"They feel the taint in us and know we are not Darkspawn, which makes us Wardens and they want to kill us obviously."

Naveen spoke up again. "So they can track us, like we can track them?"

Sareyna nodded, "It's similar, yes, but it doesn't seem to be as easy for them, or maybe they just don't completely comprehend how it works. And at first they can't sense you at all; the longer you are a Warden the more easily they can locate you."

Naveen looked to Zevran briefly before turning back to Sareyna, "Does their reaction to Zevran have something to do with this?"

Sareyna sighed, "Zevran is a special circumstance, as far as we know he is unique in the history of the Wardens, but the taint does seem to have something to do with it, yes."

Naveen's gaze narrowed suspiciously, "There's more to it than that, there has to be."

"Perhaps there is, but it is not something any of you have to worry about."

"That's not really an answer." Naveen snapped.

Cearo's hand clasped onto Naveen's wrist. "Drop it Naveen, it has to do with when he became a Warden."

Naveen looked at her, "What do you mean?"

Cearo just shook her head and let his wrist go. Naveen looked at Zevran for a minute but didn't press the issue any further. Sareyna sighed inwardly in relief, it would be complicated at the very least to explain Zevran's call. She continued on with explaining how the Joining would change their life.

"You have all witnessed that you have increased appetites. Do not try to suppress this urge to eat. It is a natural side effect of the Joining and your body needs the extra fuel now. Not eating what is required will affect you more profoundly now than it ever would have before you became a Warden. Trust me; you will not get soft and fat. We will keep you plenty busy."

There was a small smattering of laughter at this.

"You will have more stamina, and before you ask, yes in every way."

"That explains a lot doesn't it, Commander?" Druce chuckled in the back of the room and was soon joined by several others.

Sareyna just shook her head and smiled briefly but it fell quickly, "And now the bad news. It is very difficult for Wardens to have children. It is nearly impossible for two Wardens to have children. Being a Warden doesn't really lend itself well to rearing children, but I understand some of you may have thought about having them in the future and I apologize."

Whitney stood up her face scarlet, "That's all well and good for you, you already have a child, what about those of us who haven't yet? Why are you just telling us this now, don't you think you should have told us this sooner?"

"I understand your anger, but the Wardens have secrets for a reason."

"Yeah, so you can trick people into becoming Wardens before you tell them that they're going to be the end of their line." She snapped back at Sareyna.

"Being a Warden in a lifelong commitment, you don't just get to retire someday to the countryside. You knew that before you joined. We spend our whole lives traveling around the country and fighting Darkspawn. When did you think you would be fitting a family into that?" Sareyna was irritated but kept her voice as calm and as even as she could.

"Then maybe you shouldn't have had a child."

Sareyna felt her calm shatter around her and stalked across the room to Whitney, lips in a snarl. She stopped only a few feet away from her and Whitney glared right back at her. "If I had the choice, I wouldn't have. People's lives don't always go as they were planned. I never planned on having my family murdered. I never planned on becoming a Grey Warden. I never planned on being betrayed by the Hero of River Dane and being left to die."

Whitney had taken a small step backwards away from Sareyna who bit off each sentence with a snarl. Sareyna followed her as she retreated still spitting her anger at the woman. "I never planned on falling in love or being hunted like an animal while I tried to save Thedas, I sure as shit never planned on having a child. And if you think anything in this world is fair, well honey you are going to be a bit disappointed." She stepped back from Whitney who had backed up until her legs had hit one of the benches and had even tried to bend backwards away from Sareyna.

Sareyna surveyed the room, "Especially when you hear that you only have about thirty years to live."

The room broke out into a roar around them but Sareyna didn't pay any attention. She turned and walked out of the room leaving the other Wardens to deal with it, except for Zevran who followed her. When she walked into her office and started to shut the door he shoved it open and followed her in before slamming the door behind him.

Sareyna looked up glaring daggers at him, Zevran turned with calm deliberation to lock the door behind him. He moved slowly across the room until he had backed Sareyna up against the wall and stood only a few inches away from her. "What is it that you thought you were doing down there?" His voice was low and clipped with barely contained anger.

"I don't need to explain myself to you, Zev."

He raised a brow, "No? Then perhaps you would like to explain to your husband why you included falling in love with him in that hysterical fit of yours like it was a burden and a curse. He doesn't deserve that. And Trelain was a gift you clearly don't deserve after that display." Zevran's amber eyes were dark and his nostrils flared.

Sareyna shifted uncomfortable under the elf's angry gaze. "That's not what I said," the words came out softly.

"No, but it was what you insinuated by listing things off like that. And I would have thought you capable of a little understanding and compassion. Whitney had every right to be upset; it's a lot to take in."

"She had no right to say that about Trelain." She could hear the petulance in her own voice and it annoyed her.

"Why, because she was right? You've said the same thing yourself."

"That's not the…"

"Shut up," he snapped at her, "you really need to learn to control yourself better, 'Reyna. I'm going to go downstairs and help Alistair clean up this mess you made. I want you to return to our rooms, wash up and then kneel in front of the door naked waiting for me to return with Alistair."

Sareyna snorted, "You can't be serious, Zev."

Zevran shoved her against the wall and pressed close to her, his eyes boring into hers. "Don't push me, 'Reyna. I fully expect you to be there, waiting to make this up to Alistair. You will do anything he wants without hesitation, or I can make the rest of today and tonight very uncomfortable for you." He let her go and started to turn away before stopping, "I expect you to be pristine when he gets there, which means no touching yourself."

Sareyna was shaking with irritation and desire when he turned and left the room. Her smalls were already wet from him shoving her against the wall and the idea of being forced to perform sexual favors to make up her bad behavior to Alistair. She stayed leaned against the wall for several minutes collecting herself before she left her office and headed for her bedroom.

As she washed down she thought about what had transpired in the refectory and realized that Zevran had been right. She had been a complete ass, not to mention a terrible Commander. She wondered how long it would take the other Wardens to straighten out that mess. Briefly, she contemplated taking her time cleaning up so she wouldn't be kneeling on the cold stone floor for very long. But she didn't want to still be washing up if the two of them were to return.

So, less than ten minutes later she found herself naked, on her knees in front of the door to her suite. She wondered why she was doing it, why was she kneeling on the floor debasing herself for Alistair and Zevran. But the answer was simple, because she wanted to. She shifted a little on her sore knees as she remembered other times that Alistair had taken her when he was angry. It was always amazing, rough and fast and exciting.

What would Zevran be like when he was angry? Would he yank her hair like Alistair? Would he be rough with her, taking his anger out on her body? Or would it be completely different? She tried to shove the thoughts from her mind; her sex was sopping wet already.

Her mind however wasn't cooperating. It made her wonder if she could be happy with just one lover at this point. She was used to being taken by two men now, sometimes at the same time and sometimes one after the other. And if she and Zevran were really good Alistair would take Zevran while Zevran made love to her. It was an amazing feeling when that happened, each stroke feeling somehow deeper and more fulfilling. She knew logically it made no sense, but it didn't change how damn good it felt.

The door suddenly slammed open, pulling Sareyna from her reverie. Alistair stood in the doorway, his face a thundercloud. He just stared at her not bothering to enter the room or close the door. Sareyna swallowed thickly and shifted uncomfortably.

She twitched when Alistair snapped at her, "Be still."

"Alistair," she began hesitantly.

"Just be quiet, 'Reyna. You've said quite enough already, haven't you?" His voice came out in an angry growl.

Sareyna bowed her head, tears of shame pricking at her eyelids. When she heard Zevran's voice, low and threatening behind Alistair she didn't bother looking up, she just obeyed.

"Spread your knees for your husband."

She wasn't sure how much time went by as she knelt on the floor with her thighs spread wide and her head bowed as the two of them stood in the open doorway. Her arousal had bled from her at Alistair's angry words. Not so much at the words, but because she knew she deserved his anger. Her skin prickled with gooseflesh as the cold crept over her bare skin.

Zevran and Alistair both slowly advanced into the room leaving the door wide open still. Sareyna shivered, fearing someone would come along and see her on her knees spread like a whore for the two men who were looking her over so carefully. They circled her, taking their time while she tried not to squirm from the pain in her knees, the cold chill creeping over her skin, or how exposed she felt.

Zevran stopped in front of her and Alistair behind her. Alistair gripped her head and held it still while Zevran unlaced his trousers. She almost let out a breath of relief, she could deal with sucking them off, she had worried it would take much more to appease the hurt she had caused Alistair. While she was counting herself lucky Zevran abruptly shoved himself into her mouth.

He didn't give her time to adjust or recover but just began fucking her mouth. Sareyna gagged and drooled unable to move to try to stop the assault because of Alistair's firm grip on her head. Alistair stepped closer behind her and she could feel his erection brushing against the back of her head through his trousers. Zevran's hand moved to grip Alistair's hips as he continued to stroke into Sareyna's mouth and throat.

Sareyna was pinned between them, her mouth and throat being aggressively violated as the two men kissed passionately above her. Sareyna struggled to breathe but wasn't afraid, it wasn't the first time the two of them had wanted to take her mouth in this way. She tried to relax her throat and flatten her tongue as Zevran had taught her so she didn't constantly feel like she was choking.

She trusted both of them and had nothing to fear, they wouldn't really hurt her. And it wasn't long before Zevran spurted down her throat. Sareyna got one completely unobstructed lungful of air before Alistair's much larger erection was forcing its way into her throat, this time with Zevran holding her head still.

He leaned forward and started kissing Zevran again while Sareyna gagged and drooled then started coughing and choking around Alistair's girth. He didn't slow down but Zevran did break off the kiss making Alistair growl in irritation.

Zevran's voice was soft when he spoke. "Relax Querida, breath through your nose. You're going to hurt yourself if you keep this up. Just rel…"

The rest of his words were cut off when Alistair's hand left Zevran's hip and pulled him back into a kiss. Sareyna eventually got her choking under control and was able to take Alistair with a minimum of gagging, though there was no way to stop the drooling. Seemingly satisfied that she had recovered sufficiently Alistair started pumping his hips faster and deeper causing her to momentarily choke again, but the discomfort was short lived as Alistair came and she swallowed the bitter fluid down.

Alistair immediately pulled her to her feet using her hair; he then pulled her roughly into the bedroom. When the outer door to the suite shut Sareyna's skin flushed with embarrassment, she had forgotten it was still open and wondered who had seen or heard her servicing her two men.

Alistair pushed her towards the bed and she crawled onto it quickly, eager to make him happy.

"On your back, spread your legs wide as well as your arms."

Sareyna almost hesitated, she knew they meant to tie her up and she wasn't really fond of being the one tied up. But she figured it was the least she could do after comparing falling in love with Alistair to being betrayed by Loghain and then dumping the new Wardens on him. She closed her eyes and tried not to think about what else they might have in store for her as the two of them tied her to the center of the bed.

When Alistair leaned over her with the gag in his hand she couldn't contain herself any longer. "I'm sorry Alistair; I didn't mean it like that. I'll be quiet, please don't…"

She looked at him feeling anger flare for a moment. He had shoved the gag in her mouth while she was talking and was buckling it into place. If he noticed her irritation he chose to ignore it. Once she was secured and gagged he smiled down at her, "Now maybe you can actually be quiet." He leaned down and kissed her cheek lightly and Zevran bent to do the same on her other cheek.

The pair moved down to lay one on either side of her. Alistair licked lightly at one nipple, while Zevran licked at the other. They were light teasing licks and had her moving from side to side trying to get them to provide more stimulation. The quick little licks were driving her mad. She begged and pleaded with them through the gag even though she knew it was pointless, she couldn't help herself.

Even their hands left nothing but teasing caresses on her skin, enflaming her desire and doing nothing to sate it. Their fingers skated over her ribs around the soft skin of her breasts down over her abdomen and then teasingly caressing her inner thighs. Each caress a new torment, a new center for desire to build from to branch out and engulf her entire body in need.

Slowly, they both moved down until they were licking lightly at her inner thighs. Sareyna was already out of her mind at this point desperately needing relief, but the men weren't letting her off lightly. As she continued to squirm and writhe, curses and pleas both lost behind her gag they moved higher.

They each took turns tracing their tongues feather light over her labia. Sareyna's body arched seeking some relief, she screamed in frustration from behind her gag. Her mind whirled, she felt like she was losing her mind. Her breath hitched and caught in her chest causing Alistair to look sharply upwards.

Zevran reached out and stroked Alistair's cheek, "She's fine, Tesoro, just very frustrated I'm guessing."

Alistair snorted, "That makes two of us." He grabbed Zevran and kissed him again, searing hot, full of heat and Sareyna could feel his cock twitch against her leg. He pulled Zevran across Sareyna's leg until he was between them.

Alistair nuzzled and kissed Zevran's neck before he whispered in Zev's ear. Zevran's throaty laugh did nothing to ease Sareyna's mind. She tried to figure out what they were doing as Alistair shifted to grab something off the bedside table. But Zevran's tongue swirling in circles on her pubic mound was distracting and it was hard to think.

Zevran's tongue slid down to lick her labia gently a few times before he nipped at her inner thigh. Sareyna's eyes were squeezed shut and her fists were balled in frustration. Her mind was lost between being angry at them for teasing her so horribly and just plain arousal.

"Please someone just please fuck me." She sobbed out, the words nothing but garbled sounds behind the gag.

Her eyes flew open and she thought her prayers had been answered when she felt Zevran settle himself over her, his cock nestled between her thighs. She nearly sighed in relief, but as she found out it would have been premature. Zevran was in fact between her legs and she could feel him brushing against her sex but he had no intention of actually fucking her.

Alistair had prepared Zevran and was now taking him from behind. Each thrust made Zevran's erection rub against Sareyna causing more frustration but no relief. Zevran watched her with twinkling eyes, knowing exactly what they were doing to her. As Alistair picked up his pace and she finally accepted that neither of them was going to give her any satisfaction she closed her eyes and quietly wept in frustration.

Zevran's fingers touched her cheek, "Open your eyes." The words were quiet and someone who didn't know him better might have mistaken them for gentle, but she knew better and so opened her eyes to watch her husband fuck their lover while she was granted nothing but the light friction between her legs that would bring no relief.

It seemed an eternity before Zevran was coming on her lower abdomen followed a few minutes later by the growling sounds of Alistair's own orgasm. She closed her eyes again, she couldn't look at them, didn't want to see them gloating over how they had reduced her to such a quivering mass of need.

She felt something soft land on her stomach and opened her eyes, it was a washing cloth. A moment later her arms were untied and she was cleaning herself up. Zevran untied her feet and sat at the foot of the bed watching her closely, his face carefully blank. She sat up and Alistair removed her gag, tossing it aside before he wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

He dropped a kiss on her shoulder, "What am I going to do with you?"

Sareyna shook her head, at a bit of a loss for words.

"Playing like this is all well and good. But there's a much bigger issue going on here. You are Commander of the Grey; you need to be able to handle situations like that without losing your composure." He rested his head on her shoulder.

"I know, you're right," she murmured hesitantly.

"Chances are every time we do a Joining Trelain is going to be brought up when we tell them about having children."

Sareyna remained quiet, there was nothing to say, Alistair was right, she needed to get her head on straight.

"And don't leave me there holding the bag after an incident like that again. I wasn't ready for it and you made quite a mess of things. I thought we were going to have a revolt on our hands. Thankfully, Sigrun has a lot more grace under pressure than I do."

"Alistair?" her voice was quiet because she wasn't sure how to phrase what she wanted to say exactly.

"Yes?" He lifted his head to look at her.

"I'm sorry I made it sound like I didn't want to fall in love with you."

He snorted and shook his head, "It's true 'Reyna, I know you didn't want to fall in love with me. Thankfully, I was so bumbling you didn't seem to realize what was happening until it was too late."

"Ali," she started but stopped, why was it she couldn't find anything to say? Why couldn't she find the words to tell him how much she loved him, how much she needed him, how her world would be empty and bleak without him?

"It's alright, I don't feel terribly bad, I mean, you didn't want to fall in love with Zevran either." He kissed her cheek, "Really, 'Reyna, it's alright. I'm more concerned about you handling being Commander a bit better. I shudder to think what Duncan would have thought about what happened tonight."

"All I can do is wonder; he never even told me most of that stuff." Sareyna sighed, aggravated with herself for bringing it up.

Zevran climbed up to where they were sitting and stroked her cheek, "Let the past go, Querida. It's the only way we can have a future." He gave her a bit of a smile and tipped her chin up to kiss her briefly, "Trust me; I know what I'm talking about this time."

"How can you both be so calm? You should be angry with me."

Alistair's hand caressed her back, "I am angry, and hurt. But it doesn't do any good to yell about it, and to be honest, I'm just too tired to worry about it now. We'll see how I feel in the morning."

Sareyna nodded, she would curl up with her men and try to sleep. Chances were she would be up half the night struggling with her arousal, with Zevran being such a light sleeper she wouldn't be able to relieved her frustration even if she wanted to. Sareyna nodded; content that, at least for now, things were smoothed over between them.


	44. Chapter 44

**Truth And Consequences**

Whitney sat in her room, her thoughts were in turmoil. The news she and the other recruits had received from Sareyna had been a heavy blow. And she was angry, furious even; not telling them such important things was a dirty trick. The Wardens lured you in with their reputation, only to rob you of your life and the possibility of children.

And though she was angry and felt cheated part of her knew that even had she been told those things before hand she would still have become a Warden. The Darkspawn were a pestilence on the world, a vile sickness that not only infected, but destroyed the land forcing people from their home, bringing panic and famine to the land. And the corruption could last generations before the land was arable again, if it ever was again.

She rubbed her forehead, it ached horribly. Was there nothing in life that was ever easy? How much of herself, of who she once was, would she be required to sacrifice to this cause? Was there anything she wasn't willing to sacrifice to spare others from suffering the fate of her mother and so many others?

She was jerked out of her reverie by a soft knock on her door. "Hello?" She spoke hesitantly.

"Whitney, it's Sigrun, can I come in?"

"Yes, please."

Sigrun opened the door and slipped in with a smile on her lips. "I thought I would help you tie some sheets together so you can escape out the window, we're only on the second story so it shouldn't take too many sheets." She gave Whitney a cheeky smile.

Whitney gave her a wry grin, "I think I'll stick it out a bit longer."

"Glad to hear, she's not normally so…blunt." Sigrun shrugged and sat down on a chair across from Whitney. "She's sensitive about the child thing."

"Yes, I noticed."

Sigrun sighed, "Her relationship with her son is a bit complicated."

"He's barely more than a babe, how can it possibly be complicated." Whitney had a hard time imagining how that could be possible.

"Perhaps because she is Warden Commander and therefore will spend the rest of her life fighting Darkspawn. Maybe because she doesn't know if being here with her is the right thing for a young child? Or it could just be because her duties prevent her from spending enough time with the boy." Sigrun sounded very tired.

Whitney was quiet as she mulled over what Sigrun had said. During the meeting she had just been resentful that Sareyna had seemed so nonchalant about telling them that they had no chance of having children. She really hadn't thought about what it would mean to be a Warden and a mother. And she had actually forgotten that the Warden Commander was a Cousland. Losing your family was something Whitney understood all too well.

It did not excuse the outburst or prevent her from being angry but it did give her a bit of perspective and a little understanding. "Maybe it is better that we can't have children."

Sigrun shrugged, "It is not easy for me to understand the fascination with wanting children. As a Duster you hope not to have children so that you do not put them through the same terrible life that you had. And then I joined the Legion of the Dead, and, well the Dead don't have children, which makes sense because who would want to try to raise a child in the Deep Roads."

"You never wanted a child?"

"Have you ever been to Dust Town?"

Whitney shook her head.

"If you ever go come back and tell me if you would want to raise a child there."

"And the dead in thirty years part?"

Sigrun laughed, "Your life from the moment you took your Joining is war. There will never come a time for peace between Darkspawn and the rest of Thedas. Do you really think you'll live another thirty years?"

Whitney scowled, "You seem so serene about it all."

"I did my lamenting and raging when I joined the Legion. The Wardens changed only two things about my life: my location and my efficiency at killing Darkspawn." She smiled a little, "However, if you are looking for someone to wallow with, a few of the other recruits are raiding the wine cellars to get piss drunk as we speak. I'd join you but I have a date with a sexy little elf," her smile cracked wider.

Whitney's heart was aching; her father would have been crushed to learn she was now barren. "I'm the last of my line." It was almost a whisper.

Sigrun nodded, "Many of us are."

Whitney sighed, "Is it worth it? I mean, do we really make a difference? Now that the Blight is over are we needed?"

Sigrun looked into the fire, "Do you remember the Deep Roads? They are still there, still out there even without the Blight."

"But they don't bother the surface."

"They do in small raiding parties, but that's not really the point. Already they are seeking the next Archdemon, already they are building up their numbers for another assault. Would you not do everything in your power to stop them, to stop another Blight from happening?"

"Is that even possible?" Whitney was doubtful; there had been Darkspawn back as far as anyone had known.

"It must be, we can't give up hope. We know more about the Darkspawn and their creation than we ever have before. The Commander is planning a trip to Orzammar to give them the new information we have to help them in their fight against the Darkspawn. It might be an edge, it might help them." She turned back to Whitney, "We must remember that every Darkspawn we kill, every little bit we learn helps us in this awful war."

"And the lies the Wardens tell to get people to join them, that doesn't bother you either?"

Sigrun rolled her eyes, "Ancestors, you sure like to exaggerate don't you. They never lied to you. Just because you don't like the rest of what you were told after you joined doesn't make them liars."

Whitney felt her temper rising again, "It's a lie of omission."

"Oh, for fuck's sake darling, where is it you think you are? This is the real world. No one ever tells the whole truth. You're still not understanding that this is a war. Weren't you a solider for some Bann or something? Did your Commanding officer tell you every single thing that was going on at any time?"

"They made sure that we knew what we needed to."

"Right for your safety, but nothing else. Sareyna gave you more than that. You didn't need to know that you couldn't have children, you didn't even need to know that you were only going to have a life expectancy of thirty years from when you Joined, none of it immediately affected your safety. She could have waited years before she told you, but felt you should know now." Sigrun took a breath and started again more calmly this time. "The Wardens are an army, like any other, there are volunteers and conscripts, there are benefits and sacrifices. That is the only thing you need to remember."

She stood and walked to the door, "I can help you no further, Whitney, whether you choose to become the Warden we all know you were meant to be or choose to wallow in self pity is up to you."

"So that's it? Too bad, so sad, buck up and deal with it?" Whitney felt her anger returning.

"You want us to coddle you, to treat you like a child? We're at war remember? And we all have the exact same problems as you do." She chuckled a little, "Or did you forget that already?" With that Sigrun was gone, out the door and down the hall before the door had completely closed.

Whitney wasn't sure whether the conversation with Sigrun had made her feel better or worse. But she was right about one thing. None of the other Wardens were going to coddle her and feel sorry for her when they were going through the same thing. So she slipped into her boots and headed down to the refectory, maybe some drunken commiseration would help.

Naveen smiled when she walked into the room. "Oh, look everyone, it's our favorite red head come to drown her sorrows with us."

Whitney scowled, "Are you drunk already?"

Naveen shook his head, "Not yet, but it won't be long now. Come sit down, join us. We were all just speculating."

Whitney sat down and grabbed a bottle of wine that was unopened as of yet. Pulling the cork she looked around the table, "Speculating on what?"

"Whether our testicles were going to shrivel up." Naveen flashed her a wicked grin.

Whitney laughed and nearly spit out her mouthful of wine.

"What, it's a valid question. If a woman's ovaries shrivel you can't see them, but if my testicles are going to turn into raisins I would rather know now."

Whitney couldn't stop herself from smiling; she had an idea that Naveen was going to be a good thing for all of the new recruits. His humor and smiles were infectious. "Perhaps we should take a poll of the servants; apparently quite a few of them have seen naked male Wardens."

Naveen's eyes lit up, "You're right." He turned to Desmond, "Come on, let's go ask." Desmond struggled to his feet and the two men disappeared into the kitchens.

Elswyth slid down the bench to sit closer to Whitney, "How many times do you think they'll end up getting slapped?"

Whitney smiled at her, "I'm guessing a lot."

"I would have to agree."

Whitney turned so she was sitting facing Elswyth, "So how are you?"

"Hmm, you mean 'Hey guess what you're barren and you'll die young'? I'm alright, never planned on children and I grew up in the Alienage, life is never certain there. You could die from starvation or plague at anytime, or some shem could just decide you looked at them wrong in the market."

Whitney gestured around to the bottles, "So why all this?"

"Me? I just like drinking, and drinking alone is generally frowned upon." She grinned.

"What do you think of the Commander?"

Elswyth shrugged, "I don't know. I was excited to meet her at the Tournament, she was the Hero of Ferelden afterall, none of us would be here without her. But then when I saw her and the Lieutenant with Zevran, I was angry, I thought they were using him, holding something over him to make him stay. Maybe they were using him as a sex slave or something, you know?" She took a long pull on the wine, "But she says she loves him."

"He adores them both, couldn't you tell?"

Elswyth shrugged, "You hear of slaves having affection for their masters, even going so far as to protect them with their life. But now I'm not sure what to think. I guess I kind of respect her, she's survived a lot."

Whitney nodded, she couldn't argue there. She wondered if she would have been able to survive what the Commander had, but that outburst, that wasn't something a Commander should have done. "What about her blowing up at the meeting?"

"Well, you did goad her a bit, didn't you? How would you have reacted to someone insinuating you were a bad mother?"

Whitney sighed, "And here I thought I was going to like you."

"Can't stand a little honesty? That's sad for you Whitney, you're such a pretty girl."

Whitney furrowed her brow, "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Only that not many people are going to end up liking you if you can't take a little truth. And it would be a waste that's not really a quality a man looks for in a woman, no matter how pretty she is." She giggled a little.

Whitney shook her head in exasperation, "Is this everyone shit on Whitney day?"

"And self important too? Must be nice to be so important there's an entire day just for you."

Whitney took a deep breath, when she felt a bit calmer she looked at Elswyth, "You're trying to rile me up. Must be you're the trouble maker type."

Elswyth feigned innocence, "Who me? Never." She grinned and stood up, "Now if you'll excuse me I need to see a soldier about scratching this itch for me." She turned and left the refectory.

Whitney set her head on the table, "Everyone here is nuts, nuts and sex crazed. Dear Maker, what have I gotten myself into?"


	45. Chapter 45

**Home, Again?**

The ride back to the Keep had been a long one even after Anders had been able to heal himself. He was sullen and foul tempered, barely speaking to Nathaniel during their return trip. It was just as well, Nathaniel was wrapped up in his own thoughts. What the Templars had done to Anders ate at him. He could find no reason for it, there was no reason for anyone to be treated that way.

A part of him was starting to understand the anger his fellow Wardens had towards the Templars. But surely they weren't all that bad. Nathaniel jerked his head up when he heard a quiet laugh next to him.

"What's the matter Nathaniel? You look like someone rained all over your parade. Trying to think of a way to explain what happened to me to Morrigan?"

Nathaniel shook his head, "They can't all be like that."

Anders was quiet for a long time before he spoke softly, "They're not, but enough of them are. The Chantry gives them free range with mages and no one ever questions them, never holds them accountable so you end up with a lot of assholes on a power trip."

Nathaniel continued to steer the cart not sure what to say. He was as guilty as everyone else it seemed, blindingly trusting the Templars were doing what was right. Shame swept through him that it had taken seeing Anders tortured, broken and strung up like a doll for him to even begin to acknowledge there was a problem. Even with Morrigan and Anders telling him he had refused to believe that the abuses were as bad as they said they were.

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry Anders."

"What for?"

"For not listening to you and Morrigan."

Anders snorted, "Well that makes it all better, at least you got something out of it."

"I do not mean to down play what you went through."

Anders turned away looking out over the horizon. Nathaniel held his tongue, he couldn't possibly know what the mage was thinking or feeling and he might just end up making things worse. It was nearly ten minutes later when Anders next spoke.

"Did I thank you? I mean, thank you Nathaniel." He was quiet for another few beats, "I honestly thought I was going to die."

Nathaniel furrowed his brow, "You thought I would leave you with them?"

Anders shook his head and looked to Nathaniel, "I thought you wouldn't even know until it was too late. How did you find me, anyway?"

"One of the merchants saw it and came to tell us."

"Your sister was alright?"

Nathaniel let out a rumble of laughter, "You're kidnapped, beaten and dragged across the countryside and you want to know how Delilah is?"

Anders' voice was very quiet, "You went to check on her, because of her message."

Nathaniel was smiling, "I'm an uncle."

Anders gave him a small smile, "Congratulations."

"Thank you."

After a pause Anders spoke again, quieter this time. "I'm sorry you had to kill them."

Nathaniel was surprised; it seemed Anders was more perceptive than Nathaniel had given him credit for. Nathaniel did not speak of his time in the Free Marches or of how he had come to hate the ease with which he was able to take a life. It shamed him sometimes when he thought of it, he was a killer, a murderer and after Sareyna had spared him he had sworn to himself he would not become that man again. Nathaniel shook his head, "They deserved it Anders, every one of them brought it on themselves."

Anders fell silent again and did not speak until they reached the Keep.

* * *

"Why not, Sareyna? I've had enough of this crap. Joining the Wardens is barely even slowing them down." Anders was scarlet with rage as he paced back and forth in front of her desk.

"Anders, please calm down."

"Calm down? Sure why not, it's not like I almost died or anything." Anders felt anger crawling across his skin almost like bugs, as she watched him calmly.

She closed her eyes and rubbed her hand across her forehead. "You have every right to be angry, but there is nothing you can do at the Circle. And I won't have you handing yourself over to the Templars on a silver platter. Let me write to Knight Commander Gregoir and First Enchanter Irving. I want to know why there are still Templars after you at all. I'll handle this."

"Like you handled it in Amaranthine?"

"You said yourself they weren't from Amaranthine."

"They still took me from there." Anders unconsciously touched the tattoo on his neck. Sareyna's eyes followed his fingers and he put his hand down. "This is getting us nowhere."

"I'm sorry Anders. I would do anything for you, but I want you safe. Let me get in touch with them, then we can go, I'll even go with you. I don't want you to walk into some sort of trap."

Anders collapsed into a chair, "Can you stop being so damn reasonable for one minute." His voice dropped and he hung his head, all the fight leaving him momentarily. "They marked me, Sareyna. I have to wear this for the rest of my admittedly short life and you're asking me to just let it go."

She knelt on the floor by him, "I'm asking you to put it on hold. Can you do that for a little while?"

"I can try."

"I'll send Skyla with the message, and have her wait for a reply. We should hear something within two weeks. Can you give me that? Then I'll go with you and I'll kill any Templar who touches you Anders, I promise."

Anders gave her a weak smile, "Careful, you'll make a man fall in love with you talking like that."

She kissed his cheek. "I mean it."

Anders nodded, "I know." He sighed and stood up. "Two weeks, you promised."

She stood, "Two weeks."

Anders sighed and left her office.

* * *

Sareyna shooting Anders' trip to Kinloch Hold, to the Circle tower, down left Anders with a lot of pent up anger and frustration. Try as he might to let things roll off his back like he had done in the past this time he didn't seem able. He considered Amaranthine his home now and the Templars had essentially taken him right out of his own yard.

After the third time he snapped at someone for simply asking a question he grabbed the practice staff that Sareyna had commissioned for him and went down to the training yard. He crossed it quickly getting as far away from the other people training as possible; he didn't want any more interruptions.

He worked with the Arcane warrior skills that Morrigan had taught him at first, but it made it all too easy for him, he barely broke a sweat and he worried he would break the staff. So, he decided to train just with his own skills, that was supposed to be the point of staff fighting anyways, to use it when he had run out of mana.

Anders practiced until he couldn't lift his arms anymore but he still felt the anger burning inside of him like a punishing sun so he cast a minor heal on himself as well as a small rejuvenation and started again. As he went on, other people, Wardens and soldiers, drifted in and out of the training yard, but Anders stayed.

After his fourth hour of training he had realized two things. Firstly, he needed to know how to best just about any man without his magic so he could defend himself against the Templars. Secondly, and most importantly, he needed to learn how to resist a smite. If he let himself be brought to his knees every time he was smited he would never have the chance to defend himself.

Anders knew he would have to speak with Alistair. Alistair was the only person he knew who could help, and more importantly, he trusted Alistair. As the sun slipped towards dusk Anders felt Pounce rubbing against his legs and paused.

Pounce meowed up at him loudly; Anders smiled, bending to pet the cat briefly. He took a few deep breaths and pushed his hair out of his eyes again as he stood up. Pounce moved away from him and started walking back to the Keep and Anders followed, Pounce was right, it was enough for one day and he finally felt human again.

He could feel the soldier's eyes on him as he strode across the yard, but he didn't care. More than a few of the glances were appreciative and lingering but Anders couldn't bring himself to care about that either. His ego and carnal pleasures were low priorities at the moment. He finally had a real plan as to how to deal with the Templars who seemed ever ready to kill him.

Once inside the Keep he jogged up the steps and headed for the door to Alistair's office. There still seemed to be a fire or a lamp burning in the room, light seeped under the door. Anders knocked gently and entered at Alistair's prompting. Alistair sat by the fire reading over a sheaf of parchment. Anders settled silently into the chair across from him.

Alistair looked up from his papers and gave Anders a smile, "Hey, what can I do for you?" Suddenly, his brow furrowed, "You look tired, Anders."

Anders waived him off, "I'm fine, but I have a favor to ask you and it's going to sound strange."

Setting the papers down on the small table next to his chair he turned back to Anders, "Alright, shoot."

"I want you to smite me"

"What? You really have gone a bit mad, haven't you?"

Anders took a deep breath before plunging forward, "Hear me out. I need to learn to defend myself against the Templars. As long as I crumple into a worthless pile of goo every time one of them smites me I have no hope. I know it's going to hurt, but I need to learn to resist some of the effects and the only way I can do that is if I have someone help me get used to it. And you're the only one I know to ask."

Alistair sighed and rubbed his own tired looking eyes, "I don't like this Anders. I saw you when you were smited here. It was bad. How can you even be sure there's a way to resist the effects?"

"I have to try; otherwise I'm just a sitting duck for any Templar who wants to take a run at me. I can't live like this Alistair, I refuse to."

Alistair pressed his lips into a thin line and looked into the fire. After a few excruciatingly long minutes he looked back to Anders and nodded, "Alright, I'll help you. I can control them a bit, so we'll start small and see how that goes before we proceed any further."

"Thank you."

"Please, don't thank me. You're asking me to torture my brother and I agreed, that's not something you thank a person for." His eyes scanned his office. "We can't do this outside, the fewer people that know the better. There's a stone outbuilding behind the garden. It's not very big, but it doesn't need to be. We'll cover the floor with hay so if you collapse you won't hurt yourself." Alistair pushed back his hair and sank back further into his chair. "We'll start tomorrow after breakfast. And, let me tell Sareyna."

Anders nodded and the two of them sat in comfortable silence. Anders felt a little apprehension about the next day but he knew Alistair would be careful. Besides, the Keep stocked lyrium which he could use if it was too bad. Either way the stage was set now.


	46. Chapter 46

**A Day In The New Life**

"Are you insane? How could you possibly think I would be alright with this? After everything those…those…monsters have put him through you think I would let you hurt him too? He's your brother for Maker's sake."

Alistair listened calmly as Sareyna raged at him. He had known she wouldn't take his news well, especially after he had held her half the night and listened to her rage about how impotent she felt because she had failed to protect Anders. Her face was scarlet and her hands were balled into fists as she stomped back and forth across the room. Even Zevran had retreated into a chair out of her path.

"It's what he wants, love. Besides, what if he can learn to resist it? Wouldn't that be worth something? He could protect himself and wouldn't have to feel so reliant on others to keep him safe."

"I'm not going to let you torture him for the sake of his damn ego," she spat.

"It's not for his ego, it's for his life. They nearly killed him last time and you know that, Anders and Nathaniel both told us the same thing. I'd like to give him a fighting chance."

Sareyna collapsed into a chair and hung her head, her unbound hair falling in front of her face. "I can't Alistair, I can't allow it."

Alistair knelt in front of her and pushed her hair back over her shoulder. "It's not for you to decide. I just wanted you to know what we were doing. We're going to need to keep more lyrium on hand while he and I work on this. But I'm not asking for permission, I already gave him my word."

Sareyna was quiet for several long moments and Alistair stayed crouched in front of her rubbing the back of her hand lightly. Alistair could feel Zevran's eyes on them but he hadn't moved from his chair. Sareyna lifted her head to look at Alistair.

"I had never seen a mage I cared for get smited before Anders. And I had never seen a smite like that, it was so violent. It knocked Anders off his feet and flung him into the wall. I don't know if it was the smite or hitting his head on the wall that knocked him unconscious." She took a deep breath, "Keep someone that can heal on hand, please. He's been through so much already; I don't want him hurt again."

"I'll do my best to be careful. I'll make sure I know where a healer is, but the fewer people who know about this, the better. Naveen is suspicious of me enough already. I don't want to add to it." Alistair kissed her forehead and stood up. "Let's go eat."

* * *

Anders was on the floor retching again; his stomach had been emptied hours ago though. Alistair stood beside him, stomach in knots. By now he knew better than to ask Anders if he wanted to stop, it just made the mage angry. When Anders had stopped retching Alistair held out his hand and helped the pale, shaking and sweating mage to his feet.

Anders leaned against the wall of the small shed and gave Alistair a weak smile. "Well it was a little progress."

Alistair nodded; this was a lot harder than he had thought it would be. Every time Anders doubled over Alistair felt like he was being stabbed in the heart. It was him that was inflicting this pain on Anders and the idiot kept coming back for more. It was hard to revel in Anders' small victory, and it was indeed small.

Instead of landing flat on his face he had managed to catch himself and remain on his hands and knees. Alistair wasn't sure it even counted as a victory and after three hours he was more than ready to call it a day. "I'm not sure how many more I can do Anders, I'm getting tired."

"Just a little longer, I want to see if it was a fluke or if we're actually making progress," Anders pleaded.

Alistair sighed, "Tell me when you're ready."

Anders pushed himself off the wall and waited for his body to stop swaying. "Alright, let's go again."

And so it went for another half hour. Alistair would summon a small smite and the small building would light up blindingly for a moment and Anders would crumple to the ground, each time catching himself on his hands and knees. Alistair felt sick at the sight of Anders' triumphant smile. What torment must the man have gone through in his life that he could smile at being repeatedly smited?

Finally, Anders called a halt to the proceedings. "I'm starving." He was still wobbling on his feet a bit but had taken several steps on his own. "Let's go get food; it must be close to noon meal, right?"

Alistair nodded. "Would you be offended if I asked you if you wanted help?"

Anders gave him a wry smile, "Just hand me my staff."

Anders took the staff from Alistair and used it to help support himself. They emerged from the little outbuilding, Anders' robes soaked clear through with sweat, his skin pale and mottled, shaking and hanging onto his staff for dear life as he made his way to the Keep. Alistair trudged behind him, worry lines etched deep into his face.

Neither of them took any notice of the people in the yard as they crossed it. Alistair didn't want to see the looks on their faces, the condemnation he was sure was there, even though none of them were supposed to know what went on in the little shed. Alistair's old friend guilt had decided to pay him a visit and took up its familiar seat deep in the pit of his stomach.

* * *

Anders had refused to drink any lyrium, again assuring both Sareyna and Alistair he was fine, but did decide to take a nap after lunch. Everyone had training to handle after lunch except Zevran, Anders and Justice. Justice was trying to understand how his own skills worked so he could teach them to others. Morrigan had taken over Anders' class because Anders was so exhausted and Zevran was waiting until the recruits were better trained before he started teaching them things.

Zevran stayed close to Anders' room so he could keep an eye on the mage. He had been worried when the mage had come in from his morning with Alistair looking so sickly and pale. Zev had been a little comforted that Anders' appetite had at least been healthy; in fact he had eaten more than usual.

As he sat in the sitting room of the suite he shared with his two lovers and Trelain he went over the poisons he knew how to make and the immunities he had built up. So far, none of the new Wardens had experience with poisons. Zevran knew he had to be careful, especially since everyone's constitution was different.

The Crows lost many of their recruits when they started the process of making poisons and building immunities to them, the Crows did not care if their recruits died, they could always replace them. But Zevran had no desire to kill any of the new Wardens. So, he decided to teach them the remedies first.

Once there was a decent stock of remedies he could begin to teach them how to make the poisons. Finally, he would help only those who wished it to build up immunities. It was useful to have the immunities, but not strictly necessary as long as one could identify what poison one had been inflicted with and carried the antidote.

The Crows had a system of colored wax to denote poisons and their antidotes. It made it easier on the recruits, most of who could not read and had no desire to. Granted, Sareyna planned on all the Wardens learning to read eventually, but the wax system would still be best since it helped those who could not read as of yet and any new Wardens would not need to feel left out of the class.

"Zevran?"

Zevran looked up from the notes he had been making to see Anders standing in the doorway. He was dressed in a light weight tunic and wool trousers. Zevran furrowed his brow, "Everything alright my friend?"

Anders nodded, "I was wondering if you would be interested in a run? We used to do laps around one of the floors in the tower for exercise; I thought maybe we could run some of the trails around the Keep though?"

Zevran chuckled, "Haven't had enough exercise for one day?"

"Not yet. What do you say?"

Zevran nodded as he stood. "Let me grab my swords."

"Weapons?"

"We will be outside of the walls, who knows what we will run into. Do you have your magic back yet?" He called as he disappeared into the bedroom.

Anders shook his head, "No, looks like I'll have to depend on you. I'm not running with a staff strapped to my back."

Zevran reappeared with his swords strapped to his back. "Maybe you should reconsider, it would be good practice."

Anders grumbled but when the two of them left the suite he jogged to his own room and grabbed his practice staff. He reemerged with it strapped across his back at a slant. He smiled at Zevran's look of confusion. "It won't hit the ground when I'm running this way and gives me more freedom to move."

"Very well." And the two of them headed down the stairs and out of the Keep for a run.

* * *

When they returned Anders cornered Sigrun and asked her to train him more on the fighting style where she used her legs. Sigrun looked a bit worn but eventually agreed. Ander set his staff against the training yard fence and followed her to the center of the yard. Most of the other Wardens had headed in to clean up and change for the evening meal.

Sareyna sat on the fence and watched the two of them, amazed at Anders' endurance. He kept pushing Sigrun to keep going until she was so tired she could barely stand up. Finally, she begged off pleading fatigue and hunger. Anders walked over to where Sareyna was still watching him.

"Want to spar with me a bit?"

"No worse for wear then?"

Anders gave her a smile, brilliant if a little tired. "I'm fine. I think I'm going to wait to eat until after I work with Alistair from now on, though."

Sareyna laughed. "Let's get dinner and if in an hour you're still interested in sparring, I'll come out and spar with you." She hopped down off the fence, "Oh, by the way, Skyla and Druce left this morning for the Circle with a letter from me. We'll have an answer soon."

Anders nodded, but didn't respond and followed Sareyna into the Keep. At dinner he seemed much his old self, laughing at jokes and telling his own, flirting with just about everyone, his smiles coming fast and easy. But Sareyna noticed he never spoke to Nathaniel and didn't make eye contact with him, though Nathaniel seemed to be avoiding speaking with Anders just as much.

After dinner Sareyna did indeed go out to spar with Anders and found herself more challenged than she had expected. "You've been practicing."

"I have to. I want to know how to fight well without my magic."

"Just in case." Sareyna said quietly as she blocked another blow from Anders' staff.

"Just in case." He agreed.

"Well then," she stepped back and rolled her shoulders a little and then her neck before she shook out her arms and held her swords up again, "let's really do this."

There was a lot of laughter and cursing as the day wore away into sunset. Each lost their weapons and ended up in the dirt several times, though in the end Sareyna found Anders' weak spots and exploited them for a decisive win. As daylight disappeared they called it a night a bit out of breath and feeling good from their exertions.

Sareyna gripped Anders shoulder and gave it a friendly squeeze. "Spar with me tomorrow and we'll figure out how to close up those holes in your defense."

"Absolutely, same time tomorrow?"

"Anders, a routine? Say it isn't so."

Anders chuckled before turning more serious, "I need to, learning these things is too important. My life literally depends on it."

Sareyna nodded, "We're all here to help Anders."

"I know, for the first time in my life I'm not alone. You have no idea what that means to me."

Sareyna nodded and followed Anders back into the Keep where they both disappeared upstairs to get cleaned off and to relax for a bit. As Sareyna slipped into her rooms she wondered just how far Anders was going to take things. He seemed much as he had been before the incident with the Templars but there was definitely a strong undercurrent right below the surface, he was changed in some fundamental way and she wasn't quite sure exactly what it was yet.

* * *

Anders stepped from the tub and dried himself off. He looked at the stack of books Morrigan wanted him to read through and sighed, he just didn't have it in him to read more of them tonight. He stretched and moved to the wardrobe where he drew on some fresh clothing and slipped into a pair of ankle high boots.

He left his hair down and jogged down the Keep's steps. He slipped out the door and went to the cottage where he knew Haren and Wade were currently living. Lightly, he knocked on the door. He waited patiently for the grumbling inside to stop and for someone to open the door. At long last Haren came to the door, a sour expression already on his face.

"As I am sure you can tell, Master Wade is done working for the day."

"I am aware; I merely have a question for him."

Haren glared at him for several seconds before stepping aside and letting him in. Anders walked past the man quickly and found Wade sitting at the table wrapped in blankets with a mug of some steaming liquid between his hands.

"Master Wade, I was wondering if I could take up a few moments of your time."

Wade nodded and sniffled dramatically as he gestured for Anders to take a seat across from him. "What do you need, ser mage?"

"New armor as it turns out. I am learning a new fighting style that makes it difficult to fight in robes. I wanted your help in designing some new armor."

Wade stared at him dolefully.

"Armor that has never been made before." Anders added as incentive.

Wade smiled a bit, "Never been made. Do you hear that Haren? I'm going to design an entirely new type of armor!"

Haren grumbled but didn't actually respond. Wade ignored him and turned back to Anders with a smile.

"What kind of materials can we work with?"

"Anything you like Wade, I'm going to speak with the Commander about it and I'm sure she'll approve anything you need."

Wade's smile widened, "Perhaps we can work with the Archdemon hide, I did so enjoy working with that."

Anders and Wade spent the next several hours discussing the armor. Anders explained to Wade what he needed it to do while Wade came up with ideas on what he could make that would fit Anders' needs. Eventually, Haren ushered Anders from the cottage complaining of needing sleep.

Anders returned to the Keep with a smile, at least things seemed to be going smoothly for now. He climbed up the stairs yawning, his mind and his body both exhausted from his long day. Knowing he was going to be doing it all again the next day made him eager to climb into his bed and fall into the arms of slumber. Once he was in his room and undressed he did exactly that.


	47. Chapter 47

**Morning At The Keep**

Zevran stopped in his tracks when he almost ran into Sareyna as the three of them exited their suite. "Querida?"

"Someone's here to see you, love."

Zevran looked across the hall where Elswyth stood. "Ah, I see." He turned back to Sareyna and Alistair. "I'll be down later, I believe Elswyth and I have a few things to discuss."

Alistair dropped his arm from Zevran's shoulder and snaked it instead around Sareyna's waist, pulling her close. "We'll be waiting." He murmured softly before leading Sareyna away.

Zevran turned his full attention to Elswyth, "Join me on the roof, won't you?"

Elswyth gave a short nod and followed Zevran's quick steps. He held the door open for her and moved to sit with his back resting against the parapet. Elswyth dropped to sit cross legged across from him. Zevran narrowed his eyes and let his irritation show through.

"My life is my own; I do not need to explain myself to you or to anyone. But, it seems your life has led you to some false assumptions and to feel that you have the right to intrude in my privacy."

Elswyth opened her mouth to speak but Zevran held up his hand stopping her.

"I will answer your questions about my life with Alistair and Sareyna this one time and this one time only. You will keep my answers to yourself and you will not intrude upon my life with Alistair and Sareyna again. Understood?"

Elswyth's eyes were wide and Zevran decided that she had heard him and his anger quite clearly. He sat silently and waited for her to ask her questions. Silence reigned for several long minutes before the girl seemed to find the courage to press on.

"Where were you after the Blight, where did you disappear to?"

Zevran answered quickly, "I was injured during the fight with the Archdemon and nearly died. I was in the palace with Sareyna, Alistair and the king who looked after me during my convalescence."

Elswyth shifted uncomfortably, that was obviously not the answer she had been expecting. She was quiet again for a time and Zevran sighed in irritation, he did not want to be here with her answering these questions to begin with, let alone have her drag them out.

"You want to know what I am to them, am I right? Am I a servant, a slave? The answer is no, I am here of my free will and my relationship with them is just that, a relationship. There is nothing dark and sinister going on; we just have an unconventional life." He paused and took a deep breath calming himself.

"Are you sure? The lieutenant seems quite possessive of you."

Zevran laughed unexpectedly, "Not any more so than he is of Sareyna."

"And you? How do you feel about them? Are you possessive?"

Zevran nodded, "In my own way, I suppose I am. I would not allow someone to come between us. I would protect them and Trelain with my life. I would not give up my family for the world Elswyth, I am happy, something I have not experienced much in my life. I will not tolerate any threat to that happiness."

"But they are human; they are not your family."

Zevran stood abruptly, "They have been more of a family to me than anyone else I have known in all my life, and my life has been a surprisingly long one. Do not tell me who my family is. It is clear you do not understand the true meaning of family. Perhaps being in the Wardens will teach you that. We're done here." He started to cross the roof then stopped and turned back to her, "I meant what I said Elswyth, I will not tolerate any threat to my happiness." His voice was low and dangerous as he spoke, the threat in his voice clear. "Do you understand?"

Elswyth nodded.

"Good." With that Zevran opened the door and headed back into the Keep eager to rejoin his loved ones for breakfast, just another of the many daily rituals he loved about being a Warden. As he strode into the refectory and saw Sareyna and Alistair sitting there waiting for him, Trelain on Sareyna's lap, he smiled. Perhaps, Elswyth could let go of her fears and prejudices enough and learn to find a bit of happiness herself.

* * *

"Do you think it's odd that they don't even try to hide it?" Desmond spoke quietly to Naveen.

"Hide what?" Naveen's brow was furrowed as he asked his question between bites of toast.

"The three of them being lovers? I mean, he shares a suite of rooms with them even."

Whitney shrugged, "Living in a group like this, maybe they figure it's not worth trying to hide, people would find out anyways."

Naveen snorted, "I suppose you're right, I don't think the lieutenant could hide how he felt about the two of them if he wanted to. And to be honest it makes me feel better. I mean, clearly he doesn't think much like Templars if he has a wife and a lover." He smiled before continuing, "How do you think it happened, jealous fight, drunken carousing, she said no one too many times?"

"I heard that Zevran was in love with the both of them for a long time. After the attack on the Keep Anders and Zevran were missing, everyone thought they were dead. While they were mourning Sareyna and Alistair apparently realized that they both loved Zevran. So, when they found him alive they all decided it was stupid to not be together." Desmond's voice had dropped even lower yet making the others strain to hear him.

"Really? How perfectly boring." Naveen rolled his eyes dramatically.

Whitney smiled, "I think it's sweet."

"I don't know about that, apparently he was Anders' lover before the two of them told him that they wanted to be with him and he dumped Anders like a hot potato." Desmond continued conspiratorially.

"You're kidding!" Whitney turned to look at the three lovers in surprise.

"Nope, and rumor is that Anders and Alistair are brothers. He stole his own brother's lover."

Whitney scowled as she turned back to Desmond and Naveen, "They all seem to get along fine."

Desmond shook his head sadly, "Apparently, Anders fills his nights with a parade of new lovers so he doesn't have to think about losing Zevran and so he won't be hurt again."

"I heard he just enjoyed new experiences." Anders laughed as the recruits jerked in surprise at the sound of his voice. "Oh, don't let me interrupt, it was just getting good, I do so love hearing gossip about myself."

Whitney colored as did Desmond, but Naveen flashed Anders a grin. "Are you half as good as they say you are?"

"Better." Anders grinned in return.

"And modest too." Naveen retorted.

"I don't need to be modest." Anders turned and moved down the bench to sit across from Alistair, Zevran and Sareyna. After a few moments the trio was laughing along with Anders.

"Great, now we'll be pegged as gossips." Desmond sighed.

Naveen chuckled, "We are gossips."

Whitney watched the four Wardens with wonder, they seemed happy but there was just the slightest undercurrent of sadness between them that made her suspect Desmond might not have been far off. It also didn't escape her notice that Anders wasn't eating this morning, an odd event indeed for a Warden as they had all learned quickly.

Since Anders had returned with Nathaniel, after the fiasco with the Templars that no one was supposed to know about, he had been different. There burned a fire in him that he seemed unable to quench. She watched him from afar as he worked his body, pushing it repeatedly past its limits and still she could see the fire inside of him.

She told herself she wasn't afraid of him, that she didn't fear anyone. Had she not on more than one occasion comfortably spoken with Justice? So how could she feel comfortable with a rotting corpse animated by a Fade Spirit, but uncomfortable with a man as seemingly affable as Anders?

He was kind enough but Whitney would be steering clear of him, something was not quite right with him. She could feel it even if the others were blind to it. She paused for a moment to look between him and Alistair. Anders was tall where Alistair was broad but they did look a bit like brothers.

She heard quiet laughter beside her and turned to see Naveen grinning. "Wishing the healer liked women, Whitney?"

She gave him a small smile, no sense in letting him know her private thoughts were a bit darker. "He likes women just fine. I've seen him sneaking off with women as often as men."

He raised a brow, "Keeping tabs on him?"

Whitney scowled, "No, I'm just more observant than you apparently. I'm sure most of the recruits have noticed."

Beside her Desmond nodded, "She's right, seems he doesn't discriminate, just likes a good tumble."

Naveen snorted again, "So they're all indiscreet."

"At least we won't get in trouble for fraternizing." Desmond chuckled.

Whitney and Naveen both flashed him a smile and continued their meals in silence.

* * *

Sareyna stood at the forge speaking with Wade with her back to Haren. She knew Haren would be displeased but she was more concerned with keeping Wade happy. "You can use whatever you want Wade, I just want Anders happy with the final outcome. Any money you need send me a request, no one else. I'll make sure the Keep's merchants know to give you anything you want and send the bill to me."

Wade was beside himself, "Yes, of course Commander. Anders will be happy indeed with the things I make for him, I guarantee it. Well, so long as his taste is as good as yours, at least."

She chuckled, "I'll think you'll find Anders' taste quite to your liking. You can bring someone else in temporarily to deal with minor repairs, Anders is your priority right now." She started to turn away then stopped and turned back to him. "Wade, you've seen me fight here, correct?"

He nodded, "Of course Commander."

"Care to design some armor for me as well?"

He grinned, "Same deal as with Anders' armor?"

Sareyna nodded.

"I would be delighted!" he turned to Haren, "Send for another armorer to do repairs. I have important business to attend to." Looking back to Sareyna he smiled again, "I'll have a sketch for your approval this evening."

"Thank you Wade, you're a genius."

"Yes, I am."

Sareyna chuckled and headed back into the Keep. She knew that Wade had designed the armor she had worn during the Blight and his repair had been perfect, but perhaps it would be good to have another set of armor that was designed just for her. And truth be told she really did love Wade's work.

Perhaps she would get him to make designs specifically for each of the Wardens to fit their individual fighting style. That should keep the finicky armorer happy for a while and she wanted her Wardens to have the best armor they could. It only made sense and since Weisshapt seemed in no hurry to send them the armor they should have as Wardens she would make sure they had even better armor.

As she neared the steps of the Keep she paused then walked past them and around to the back of the Keep. She stared at the small building that she knew Alistair and Anders were in. Ever since Alistair had spoken to her about it, all she wanted to do was smack them both. But Anders' mind was set and Alistair had given his word, she knew them both enough to know that there was nothing she could say or do, short of tying them both up, to stop them.

Sighing, she turned and continued around the Keep to the kennel. They still had no kennel master so in the meantime she was taking care of the puppies. She chuckled when she saw Pentheryn already waiting for her by the door. She opened the door and he trotted in ahead of her. "What do you say we take them outside to play for a bit today?"

Pentheryn gave a happy bark and stopped in front of the stall where the puppies were being kept still. Sareyna unbolted the stall door and the puppies all started barking and running to Pentheryn. He sniffed them each then headed out of the kennel. After a few moments of hesitation the puppies all followed barking happily and looking adorable as they ran awkwardly after the big dog.

Sareyna grabbed a few strips of leather from a workbench and followed the bunch out of the kennel. Pentheryn kept them together barking sharply anytime one of them wandered too far away from the group. He took them to a patch of grass and plopped down heavily. Resting his head on his paws he watched over them as they started running around him and barking.

Sareyna settled down next to him and tried to get a couple of the puppies to play tug of war with her and then with each other. She was glad to see that they picked up the game quickly. She wondered how long it would be before they all had imprinted on someone at the Keep. Several of the Wardens had been in several times to play with the puppies hoping one would imprint on them.

She thought of Zevran and Menrva as she watched the puppies playing. Zevran adored the little puppy and loved having it follow him everywhere. He also loved watching the puppy play with Trelain. At least the boy behaved fairly normally for a child with the cute little puppy.

Zevran had been surprised when Sareyna suggested he start teaching Menrva about fighting in another month or so. Sareyna scratched Pentheryn's ears. "Are you going to help us train these puppies to fight?"

Pentheryn snorted a bit unhappily.

"You were about the same age when we started training you."

Pentheryn whined.

"They're not here to be cute, Pen. They're here to be Warden Mabari."

Pentheryn didn't respond.

"I'll make sure they're well taken care of."

Pentheryn stared at her dolefully.

Sareyna chuckled, "You do know you're not a mama, right? You don't have the right parts."

Pentheryn snorted as he stood up then trotted off, Sareyna's laughter trailing behind him.

"I'm kidding, Pen, I'm sorry. Come back." But Pentheryn kept going. Sareyna turned to watch the puppies still laughing a little, "He's so sensitive sometimes." Her laughter fading, she sighed as she watched the puppies, part of her was sad that they were going to teach these cute little critters how to kill Darkspawn. A larger part was glad that the Wardens were going to have such a boon. She settled back to watch the puppies and enjoy them being nothing more than cute little bundles of fur.


	48. Chapter 48

**The Beginning**

Anders waited until he was sure Nathaniel would be gone before going to Morrigan's room and knocking on the door. The witch opened the door so fast he wasn't sure his fist had even actually touched the wood. He almost laughed at the disappointed look on her face, "Nice to see you too, Morri."

Her expression turned even more sour, "What do you want, Anders?"

"I think I have a way to take care of Flemeth, possibly permanently."

Anders nearly fell as Morrigan grabbed his arm and dragged him into her room. She slammed the door and turned on him, "Who have you told?"

Anders furrowed his brow, "No one, why would I? This is for you."

Morrigan's lip twitched a little before she relaxed fractionally. "Right, I just needed to be sure. The new Wardens are a curious bunch and I know how you love to brag."

Anders took a step away from her and turned to take a seat in one of the chairs near the fire. "I understand the need for this to be kept quiet, Morrigan. Besides, I'd sound like a bloody lunatic if I went on about Flemeth and Witches of the Wilds. You really need to learn to trust me."

Morrigan stalked over to the chair Anders was sitting so casually in. "I have placed my safety, my life in your hands Anders. Do you think I would do that if I didn't trust you?"

Anders sneered back at her, standing back up, his face mere inches from hers. "You don't trust me. You don't understand half the information in the books you got from Avernus, not to mention I read ten times faster than anyone else at the Keep. You need me."

They stayed like that, the two of them standing rigid, glaring at each other for a long time. Finally, Morrigan stepped away looking into the fire. "You're asking a lot when you ask me to trust you. Trust is…difficult for me, almost as difficult as asking for help."

"Trust isn't easy for any of us Morrigan. We all have histories and scars, but our lives depend on each other. It would be nice if that afforded me at least a little trust."

She watched him as he spoke and kept watching him once he finished. Anders shifted on his feet unsure of what she might be looking for. When she lifted her hand and touched his cheek he almost flinched away. The gesture was completely alien coming from her. Morrigan's fingers lingered for a moment before tracing up to the crease beside his eye. Anders had to struggle not to flinch away from the touch or close his eyes.

When she spoke her voice was quiet and her expression soft. "What happened to you Anders? What did those Templars do to you? They dimmed you, muted you somehow. Where is that infamous wit, that infuriating smile?"

Anders gave her a small smile, "Nothing they haven't done to me before. I'm still whole and intact and they're dead. Isn't that all that matters?"

Morrigan's fingers moved from his face to push the collar of his tunic aside. She gently touched the tattoo around his throat. "If you really were still whole, I suppose it would have been all that mattered." She sighed and dropped her hand. "But privacy, the need to keep things to myself, that I understand well." A soft smile touched her plush lips. "So what's your plan?"

Anders lowered himself back into the chair brushing off the odd tender moment with Morrigan. "Keep in mind all of this needs to be tested first. I haven't tried any of it yet, I need someone to work with. Firstly, I've pieced together a ritual that should allow us to send several people into the Fade, even non mages."

Morrigan walked to sit opposite him, "Go on."

"I've found a spell I think we can use to summon Flemeth to the part of the Fade we're in and another spell that should bind her. It won't hold her long I'm guessing, but it should be at least a small advantage. Then we use some of the oldest spells we've learned from Avernus' books. Hopefully, with proper preparation and the right people we should be able to defeat her."

"She'll just come back again, Anders."

"You said she doesn't have a physical body right now. There's a spell we can use to prevent her from entering a physical body. If she's killed in the Fade with no physical body and no way to get into a body she will really die, she'll be gone for good."

Morrigan's lip curled into a small smile. "It'll be over, really over?"

Anders nodded, "There are a lot of variables, but we should be able to pull it off."

"We should let Sareyna know."

Anders shook his head, "No, I want to try the separate components first. And I need your help; I don't know enough about…blood magic to determine the best way to do some of these spells."

"You're going to do blood magic for me Anders?"

Anders scowled, "Absolutely not, but some of the spells require it. In order to get them right, to have enough power and to figure out how many people we can get into the Fade, I need to understand the amount of power generated."

* * *

Anders looked at the floor around him in disgust. "It's still not enough. Dammit, I'm sorry Morrigan, I'm not sure it's going to work."

Morrigan was pale with dark circles under her eyes, "We need to try again."

Anders shook his head, "Not today, you've lost too much blood already and I have nothing new to add so there's no point. Give me a week, you'll feel better and I should have another idea on how to get more power."

Morrigan was clearly disappointed but nodded in agreement. Anders took her by the elbow and when she didn't argue or try to pull away it was all the proof Anders needed that Morrigan was far too exhausted to continue. He led her inside the Keep and to her room.

"I'll have them bring you some food."

Morrigan nodded before she sunk down into a chair. Anders had turned to go when Morrigan's voice stopped him. "Anders?"

"Did you want something else?"

"Just…thank you."

Anders smiled, "Of course…sis."

Morrigan snorted and pulled her feet up tucking them underneath herself. Seeing that she was comfortably situated Anders left closing the door gently behind him. He strode to the kitchens and was a little disappointed not to find Shannon. He gave instructions for a tray to be sent to Morrigan with one of the scullery maids and headed up to his own room.

He went straight to his desk and lit the oil lamp in the corner. He opened another book on blood magic; he could almost feel his face scowling in distaste. The whole idea of blood magic did not sit well with him but he had not seen any information in any of the other books that would help to transport non mages to the Fade. Only the Circle had access to the huge quantities of lyrium that would be needed to do it without blood magic.

He was learning more about blood magic than he ever wanted to. At this point he probably knew more about it than Morrigan, though he never actually used it, and vowed he never would. Anders heard enough whispers from demons in the Fade without adding the allure of blood magic.

As he leaned back to stretch out his aching back a few hours later Pounce jumped into his lap. Anders closed his eyes and stroked the cat's fur contentedly. He pushed all the thoughts of Morrigan, Flemeth and blood magic from his mind. He had been drowning himself in the problem for too long, he was no longer thinking objectively.

What he really needed was a real break, to blow off some steam. Briefly, he contemplated finding the green eyed soldier he had become so fond of over the last two weeks but as fun as it might be it wasn't exactly the kind of outlet he needed.

Setting Pounce on the floor he grabbed his practice staff and headed down to the training yards. A few hours should relax him and tire him out enough that he could get some decent sleep and start again with the books in the morning. He hoped with both fresh eyes and a fresh perspective on the problem he could find a solution.

Pounce followed Anders down to the practice yards and jumped on the fence. He watched Anders practice moves and combinations that were nearly second nature after being repeated so often. The steady rhythm and muscle memory took over letting Anders' mind unwind as his body exhausted itself.

As he climbed the stairs to his new rooms he made a few decisions. He would speak with Justice to see if any of his Spirit Warrior abilities might be harnessed to augment Morrigan's power. And in a move that was more than a little risky, he would summon his own spirit, the one who had helped him with his healing for most of his life, to see if it too would help them.

Perhaps if he approached her with the idea that it was to save Morrigan she would not object. But Anders did not hold out much hope, she was the reason he was so opposed to blood magic. She had drilled into his head more than anything else the dangers of blood magic and how it attracted demons and would put them both in danger.

* * *

His day followed the same routine it usually did since his return from the unwanted adventure with the Templars. Training with Alistair, lunch run with Zevran, training with Sigrun, dinner, sparring with Sareyna and then off to see Wade. Working with Wade was becoming his favorite part of the day. The armorer had already begun a new set of armor for Anders.

He started with two pairs of Archdemon leggings. They fit Anders so close they were like a second skin. Wade doubled the hide making it nearly impenetrable, but he had managed to treat the hide in such a way that it was supple and flexible. When Anders slid into them they fit him like a glove and Wade cooed over him enthusiastically much to Haren's chagrin.

Wade also had one boot of a new pair mostly completed. The design was ingenious; they were knee high, made from Archdemon hide again with strategic reinforcements. Silverite plates reinforced the boots in several key locations, both to work as protection and to enhance his effectiveness when using his legs in a fight. The silverite was hidden between layers of the Archdemon hide so the boot appeared to be a normal boot. It was masterfully crafted and custom fit for Anders' long legs.

Wade worked on the items during the day and designed with Anders at night. Anders wasn't ready to completely give up his robes but they were impractical for his now more physical way of fighting. So Wade and he worked on a long coat that would reach roughly the tops of his boots to wear in conjunction with the leather leggings. Wade had even talked Anders into silverite reinforced gauntlets that would still leave Anders' fingers free.

They were putting finishing touches on the design and Anders was excited to see the entire ensemble completed. In the end the two of them could not make up their mind on the coats and ended up designing two and Anders encouraged the armorer to make them both. Wade was only too happy to oblige.

As he came from the cottage Wade shared with Haren Anders decided to speak with Justice about the problem he and Morrigan were having. He crossed to the Keep and went directly to the library; it was always the safest bet on where to find the bound Fade Spirit. And sure enough, he was there sitting in a chair near the back of the room, reading.

"Justice, do you have a moment to speak?"

Justice closed his book and set it down on his lap. "Yes, of course, Anders."

Anders smiled; he was still ridiculously pleased that he had managed to get the spirit to stop calling him mage. He pulled a chair near Justice's and settled down, over the next quarter hour he explained to Justice his plan to deal with Flemeth and the difficulties they were running into. And eventually brought the conversation around to his ideas on possible augmenting the power they had thus far been able to capture.

Justice sat very still throughout and seemed quite attentive. When Anders stopped he sat back in his chair. "I do not know much of magic but perhaps there is a way we can utilize my Fade burst ability. From our conversations it seems it is not too dissimilar to your healing work." Justice paused for a moment before continuing on. "The spirit you work with is a spirit of compassion correct?

"Yes," Anders replied cautiously.

"I suggest you do not take this request to her. The complexity of this world would not be understood by her and she will not understand the need to kill. I would recommend you try instead to contact a spirit of Fortitude."

Anders sighed, "Do you know how difficult it is to establish a relationship with a new spirit?"

"I was once such a spirit so I am well aware of how harshly we judge mages and how we restrain ourselves from giving our trust right away. If you want help in this endeavor, I suggest you start seeking a new spirit's help right away."

Anders sat back and was quiet while he thought over what Justice had just said. In the end, he realized Justice was right, the spirit that helped him become the fantastic healer he was would not understand his sudden need to not only kill someone, but him going out of his way to do so. There was always the risk that she would find the act reprehensible anyways and leave him to seek out a new spirit to help with his healing.

When Anders glanced up he realized that Justice was still watching him, still waiting for a response from Anders. "Thank you Justice, I think you're right. I'll put together a summoning for a spirit of Fortitude."

"I will focus on the Fade burst and how it might best assist us. You said you were going to try again on Saturday, correct?"

"Yes."

"I will meet you and Morrigan there on Saturday morning then."

Anders stood, "Thank you Justice." Anders headed up to his room, tonight instead of reading more about blood magic he would be looking for a simple summoning for a spirit of Fortitude. He only hoped a spirit of fortitude would not find him lacking. Anders knew he had a history of cutting and running when things became too difficult or too intense.

Anders paused with his hand on his door. Perhaps he didn't need to hide that or explain it away. Maybe, just maybe, that would be the way to get the spirit's help, convince it that he needed its help for those very reasons. Anders smiled as he walked into his room, he was glad he had spoken with Justice before he had chanced speaking with the spirit of compassion. Justice might have just saved his ability to heal.


	49. Chapter 49

**Moments Touched By Love**

Anders made sure the door to his room was tightly locked. He moved to the far side of his room with the salt and poured it to form a star, around the star he poured a circle. At each point he placed a candle and lit it speaking softly as he moved. "Spirits of the earth, Spirits of the air, Spirits of the burning flames, Spirits of the seas and Spirits of the Fade I call to you seeking aid."

Anders stood and stepped away from the circumscribed star. He felt his magic swirling inside of it and called on it to move into the salt as he continued. "I seek a spirit of Fortitude, of perseverance to carry on when I feel I cannot, to hold me to my course when I desire to wander or give in."

He paused as pale green flames licked up from the salt and a vague humanoid shape began to form inside of the star. As the spirit's form became clearer it appeared to be a woman with her hair cropped short, clad in the raiments of a scholar.

"Your call has been answered mage."

Anders bowed his head, "Thank you."

The spirit laughed, "You are not known for your humility, Anders."

Anders smiled a little, "No, I suppose I'm not."

"So, why does a powerful mage, such as yourself, who already has the help of one extremely powerful spirit, call for another?"

"I need your help to save my sister."

The spirit narrowed her gaze and Anders felt trapped in it. The spirit was a lot stronger than he had at first assumed. He forced himself to relax under her scrutiny, he had nothing to hide from the spirit and he always had his charm to fall back on. It wouldn't be the first time he had talked himself out of trouble with a spirit.

"Who is your sister?"

Anders didn't hesitate, "Flemeth's daughter."

"And you want me to help you save her?" Anders thought he might have heard derision in the spirit's voice.

He tensed not sure he was dealing with a spirit at all; perhaps a demon had come at his call. "Yes." He responded, simply.

"And who is it you wish to save her from?"

"Her mother."

The response was followed by silence but the oppressive pressure that had been building in the room seemed to dissipate.

Encouraged, Anders pressed on. "Please, she does not want to have her mother take over her body and push her out."

Silence from the spirit again.

Anders took a deep breath, he would not let this spirit unnerve him, what was a spirit to him, he had defeated a Darkspawn army practically by himself. "I am fighting to end the fear that even Flemeth's name brings, not just to my kind but to spirits as well. Yes, I want to save my sister but I have a plan to rid Thedas and the Fade of Flemeth's presence for good."

The spirit tilted its head a little, "Tell me your plan."

Anders spelled out his plan in detail to the spirit, getting more excited as he spoke of it. Each time he repeated it he became more convinced it would work. He would save Morrigan and Trelain both; he would rid the world of the terror that was Flemeth. And lauded or not he would know that he had done something truly worthwhile for once in his life. As he came to the end the spirit was silent for a few moments.

At last she spoke, "And why do you need me?"

"I am unable to generate enough power to bring the non mages through into the Fade and they are an integral part of the plan."

The spirit blinked slowly, "You are using blood magic."

"Not myself, my sister, but yes, we are utilizing blood magic."

Fortitude nodded, "You, of course, understand the dangers of blood magic."

"Better than most."

"Using non mages is dangerous; they do not understand how the Fade works."

"I am hoping to have a chance to work with them in the Fade, to teach them how to bend it at least partly to their will."

"Flemeth is still a dangerous foe."

"She has never faced a group such as us before; I believe it will be enough to defeat her."

"I want to approve who you bring through."

Anders wasn't thrilled, but the plan did depend on the spirit so he couldn't exactly disagree. "Of course."

"I will watch you and your companions for a time and decide if I will assist you or not. Who do you plan to bring through the Fade other than yourself and your sister?"

Anders had thought about it a lot, who he should take with him. He thought that the more ties they had to each other the better they would work together and the more they would fight for Morrigan's life. He needed Alistair, his Templar abilities featured into his plan, and of course no one was more tied to Morrigan than Sareyna. He wanted Nathaniel who had ties both to Morrigan and Sareyna and lastly he would bring Zevran. He shared his thoughts with the spirit who just nodded as he spoke.

"Very well, I will watch them closely."

Anders felt a bit anxious, worried because Justice had explained that Spirits really had no concept of time. "Please, she might not have much mortal time at all."

The spirit didn't respond but instead dissolved into translucency before disappearing all together. Anders sat on the end of his bed hoping that it would not take the spirit too long to make a decision. After a few moments he stood and grabbed a broom sweeping up the salt and discarding it.

He sat down in a chair rubbing his forehead. He was so tired, even when he slept he never felt truly rested. Nightmares of Darkspawn and Templars plagued him. Skyla should be back in a few days with a response from the Circle. Anders hoped that whether the news was good or bad that at least knowing where he stood with them would be enough to quell the nightmares.

Ser Pounce-a-lot climbed up into Anders' lap and Anders petted him absently. After a moment Pounce stood on his hind legs and put his front paws on Anders' chest, rubbing his head against Anders' chin. Anders chuckled and stroked his fingers down Pounce's back. "I've been neglecting you lately, haven't I? I'm sorry, Pounce. I'll try to pay more attention."

He stood with the cat in his arms and headed out of his room. "I'm hungry, how about some fish? Could you forgive me for some fish?"

Pounce meowed loudly and it melted into a contented purr. Anders' smile reflected the cat's happiness. A bit of food would do them both some good. Maybe if he was extra nice Shannon would give him some sweets.

* * *

"What's wrong Morrigan, you seem distracted."

Morrigan looked up at Nathaniel and couldn't stop the smile that touched her lips. The days since Nathaniel had returned with Anders had been wonderful. Nathaniel had told her how he had found Anders, what the Templars had done to him and as horrified and appalled as she had been, she had been grateful when Nathaniel apologized to her for his assumptions about the Templars and mages.

The two of them did not spend much time apart; in fact, the only time she knew for sure he would not be there was when she was working with Anders. Things between Nathaniel and Anders were strained, not that there was animosity between them. It seemed as if they both knew a dirty secret about the other and was afraid to spill it.

Morrigan's mind had raced the first few times it had happened wondering if Anders had somehow managed to sink his hooks into Nathaniel. But when she stopped being ridiculous she realized Anders was not only not Nathaniel's type, he wasn't even the right sex. Sareyna had given Morrigan good advice and she had decided to follow it. She was going to be happy for what she had with Nathaniel.

Nathaniel touched her cheek lightly, "Something on your mind?"

Morrigan nodded lightly, "Anders thinks he has a way to get rid of Flemeth once and for all, but we keep falling short on some parts of his plan. I'm just worried we'll never get it straightened out."

"Anders is a smart man, he'll figure something out."

"And what if he doesn't?"

Nathaniel took Morrigan's hand in his own. "Then we'll figure something out, we'll keep you safe Morrigan. I promise you, I won't let her take you."

She had an appropriately acid remark about how she didn't need to be taken care of, but Nathaniel was not insinuating she could not take care of herself, merely expressing his desire to help her. It was a distinction it took her months to figure out, and it was still an effort not to just snap at him, but she managed not too, instead Morrigan smiled again. "Thank you." She turned to look back out the window at the grey clouds that were rolling in. "I think a storm is coming. We should probably shut the windows."

Nathaniel stood and patted Morrigan's shoulder to let her know to stay still. He circled the room closing the shutters. "There, all battened down."

"Play for me?"

Nathaniel smiled but picked up his lute from the corner before sitting back down. "Anything in particular?"

Morrigan closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the couch, "Something sad."

"As the lady requests." Nathaniel's fingers started pulling a slow sad song from the strings of his lute. It had only been a few moments when they heard the first raindrops against the shutters.

"Dark skies, sad songs, and rain, some things were meant for each other."

Nathaniel didn't speak he just kept playing the lute and listening to the rain.

* * *

Zevran was sitting on the floor in Trelain's room. Trelain was walking on unsure feet and laughing as Zevran's puppy danced around him barking happily. It soothed Zevran to watch them playing and having so much fun. They both looked so happy, so unburdened.

Zevran sometimes wished he could remember more of his childhood. He wondered if he had ever looked like that, if he had ever been just happy and unconcerned. He must have at some point he was sure, but it was too long ago to remember. At least he was able to see it in Trelain.

Zevran closed his eyes; a momentary stab of pain took him by surprise. He told himself dozens of times that he was over what had happened to Sareyna and the child. But sometimes, like now, the pain of having lost a child took him by surprise. He had known it wasn't really his child, just as Trelain wasn't really his child, but at the same time it was.

Everything that Alistair and Sareyna were, every part of their lives was shared with him completely. So to him, and to them, the child would have been as much his as theirs and he felt the loss acutely. Until Trelain he had never had any desire for a child.

Trelain's innocence, his curiosity and delight with the world enchanted Zevran. He wanted to hold and protect the boy, wanted to watch every moment of his discovery of the world. Every one of the boy's laughs was like the most precious jewels to Zevran. He longed for a way to preserve them; Trelain was growing up too quickly.

The boy gripped Zevran's tunic as he reached him. Zev smiled at him and the boy playfully pushed him, Zevran let himself fall backwards. His breath exploded from his lungs with a laugh as Trelain threw himself across Zevran's middle.

He moved the boy so he was lying on his chest with his head cradled on Zevran's shoulder, stroking the boy's back as he held him still with his other hand. He felt Trelain's fingers curl around a lock of his hair and smiled. Trelain was asleep in moments and Zev stayed lying on the floor holding him gently to his chest.

Zevran curled the hand that had been stroking the boys back under his head and felt Menrva curling up next to his side. He let his mind wander, imagining that this must be what it felt like to have a normal family and a normal life. There was nothing in the world better than moments like this one.


	50. Chapter 50

**Gathering Threads**

Anders closed his eyes for a moment feeling the rough energy grind through him like sandpaper. The spirit was strong, almost as powerful as the spirit of compassion he worked with for healing, but it was impatient, pushing, shoving the energy through him instead of letting Anders control the flow. Anders felt hollowed out and nauseous when it was over, just as he had in all the previous attempts, but it worked.

It might not be pleasant but the spirit gave him plenty of energy to work with so that with Morrigan and Justice, the three of them were able to power the ritual that would carry the Wardens to the Fade. When he opened his eyes again he was standing in the Fade with the others and he could no longer feel the spirit of Fortitude, which was fine with him, he had people to train.

Anders and Morrigan had figured out fairly quickly that trying to teach non mages how to use the Fade, how to make it work to their advantage was going to be a lot harder than they had bargained for. Zevran seemed to pick up the concepts easily, his mind seemed able to adapt to the constant change of the Fade with little disruption.

'Reyna and Nathaniel were a bit more difficult; they seemed to grasp the idea but had trouble with the execution. They both seemed to lose their weapons or their sense of direction when under stress. Alistair was another problem completely. He could harness energy, could bend it to his will, but only for short periods before it sort of exploded on him.

Anders had been excited at first, thinking they could use it to their advantage. But as time went on he became more and more concerned that it was going to be too dangerous to even have Alistair in the Fade with them. But Alistair wouldn't give it up so easily, he worked with Morrigan on meditations whenever he had free time, convinced he could learn to harness the power better.

Anders left Morrigan to work with the others while he pulled Alistair a bit away from everyone. "We need to see if you can translate your Templar abilities to use in here."

Alistair shuffled looking uneasy, "I don't know Anders, I don't want to hurt you guys."

"I can almost withstand a full smite now, I'll be fine. Let's start with cleansing though. I'll cast some small things and you can try to dispel it, how's that sound?"

Alistair nodded, "Fairly safe."

Anders cast a glyph of paralysis a few feet away from them and Alistair was able to dispel it fairly easily. Anders cast a few more glyphs and when they had no problems they moved on. It was a few hours, or probably a few hours, time didn't really work the same in the Fade, later when they hit a snag.

Anders cast a blizzard spell and when Alistair went to dispel it the energy he had gathered for it exploded outward violently knocking Anders over. Anders stared up for a few minutes trying to figure out what was causing Alistair's problem when the brother in question came into his field of vision.

"I think I know what's wrong."

Anders sat up, "Really, I hope so, this is getting tiresome."

"You and Morrigan said that I couldn't hurt anyone if I didn't want to right?"

Anders nodded not sure what Alistair was getting at.

"Can I smite you?"

Anders scowled, "Now?"

"Yes, just listen for a moment. I've noticed the last few times I've had problems it's because I've been worried about what happens if I mess up, who is going to get hurt and how bad is it going to be. I don't want to be the reason that Flemeth gets a hold of Morrigan."

Anders nodded in understanding and Alistair continued.

"If I smite you, but don't want to hurt you and it works I think I'll feel better."

Anders sighed, the effects would be gone as soon as he left the Fade, and what choice did he have if he wanted Alistair's help? He nodded, "Alright, just try to be careful, okay?"

Alistair nodded and Anders could almost feel Alistair pull the energy from the Fade around them for the smite. The light crashed down around him a moment later, he even felt the warmth wash over his body, but nothing else. No feeling like the floor had been yanked out from under him, no punched in the gut feeling. He smiled and lit a wisp with no problem; he turned to Alistair and laughed. "You got it."After that things went a lot more smoothly with Alistair. He needed to be reminded a few times that he couldn't hurt anyone if he didn't want to but for the most part he started utilizing the energy of the Fade and being able to shape it with his mind as well as if he had been born a mage. Morrigan and Anders were both astounded.

As their day of training in the Fade came to an end, it was only 'Reyna who was still struggling. Anders was confused about what it was that could possibly be holding her back. She was smart, had a vivid imagination and was an excellent fighter, not prone to distractions so it made no sense from a logical standpoint.

As they awoke from their time in the Fade 'Reyna was slow in getting up, looking flustered as she did so. "I'm going to be more of a hindrance than anything aren't I? Perhaps you should do this without me, Anders."

Anders shook his head, "No, we need you for this, you just need to relax."

'Reyna's fist clenched, "How the Void am I supposed to relax when we're fighting a powerful…something, I mean we don't even really understand what she is, and then our bodies are just lying here, unprotected. What if she sends someone after us while we're in the Fade? Justice is a good Warden, but he's only one person."

Anders cocked his head, she had a point. "So we talk to Morrigan and see who else she feels comfortable with knowing and getting them to help out. They can look over us while we're in the Fade. Do you really think that would help you?"

"Well it certainly wouldn't hurt." She snapped.

Anders took it in stride; 'Reyna did not take it well when she couldn't master something quickly. He just hoped that the extra people guarding over their bodies would help her to concentrate better in the Fade. "Let's grab dinner, then we can spar a bit later, I need you to help me with my defense again."

'Reyna sighed, "I'm not sure I'm up for it Anders, I'm very tired."

He nodded, "Alright, I can always find someone else."

She paused letting the other's getting a bit of a lead on the two of them. "Sigrun could help you; she can spot weaknesses in a person's defense fairly quickly." She took a slow breath, "I want her there, watching us. She's a damn good fighter and she'd make a good leader for anyone who watches us with her."

"Actually, that sounds good, I know I can trust her and I don't think Morrigan will have a problem with her being there." Anders held the door open for 'Reyna. "I'll talk to Morrigan after dinner to see who she's comfortable with, that way when we train tomorrow we can see if it makes a difference with them watching over us."

'Reyna bit her lip for a moment, "What if it doesn't? What if I can't help in the Fade Anders, do you really need all of us, or is there someone that might be better suited to take my place, maybe one of the other mages?"

Anders shook his head, "No, the mages would be in too much danger, she would know everything they might throw at her before it even happened. I only feel safe going in with Morrigan because we've been spending weeks learning new spells, some which haven't been practiced in hundreds of years. I don't think Flemeth will be able to predict what we're doing too much." He stopped a moment looking thoughtful, "At least I'm hoping that's the case, Morrigan is her daughter though, so Flemeth might have an idea of how she thinks."

'Reyna walked into the Keep and headed towards the refectory with Anders just a few steps behind her. "Even if she did know Morrigan, and I'm not convinced she ever did, Morrigan has changed so much since we left the Wilds that I think it rules their relationship a moot point."

"Well I hope for all our sakes that you're right." Any advantage they could get was welcomed.

* * *

As dinner was nearing its end the door to the Keep opened and Skyla walked in followed by Druce, both of them looking more than just a little exhausted. Anders turned on hearing the door and saw the both of them clearing the doorway. He stood up quickly, anxiety written all over his face. 'Reyna reached across the table and gripped Anders' wrist.

"We're eating, Anders, and they just got in. Let them get in, rested and fed. We'll speak to them in the morning."

Anders glared at 'Reyna, "Fine," he grit out, but he sat down and started picking at his food again.

'Reyna stood and crossed to the duo who were lingering by the door. "Get cleaned up and eat something. We'll meet in my office in the morning."

Druce disappeared immediately but Skyla lingered for a moment, "Are you sure, Commander, I thought this was important."

'Reyna sighed tiredly, "It is, but I don't want to deal with it until I'm rested. How did they treat the two of you?"

"Very well, we had nice rooms and excellent food while we waited for a response from them. Irving is a very nice man, and Gregoir is efficient. He was agitated for most of our visit, grumbling about Anders still giving him headaches." She giggled a little, "From what I understand he was quite the handful the entire time he was at the Circle. The First Enchanter seemed very pleased that Anders was a Warden."

'Reyna nodded, "I'm glad you were treated well. And your return trip?"

"We are both a bit tired; we really pushed it to get back here. We both wanted to get back where we belonged. We also knew how important this information was to Anders and wanted to get it to him."

"Thank you, Skyla. We both appreciate it."

"Yes, ma'am." With that she turned and headed for her rooms and 'Reyna headed back to the refectory.

"We'll speak with them in the morning, I've already arranged it, and it seems like the First Enchanter is glad you've found a more suitable vocation."

Anders snorted, "I'm sure he is."

'Reyna was tired, she felt like something the proverbial cat dragged in and she just couldn't deal with Anders' anger at the moment. She ignored him and worked on finishing her dinner. She was looking forward to a long soak and maybe if she was lucky she could coax Zevran into giving her a massage. She relaxed a bit when she felt Alistair's hand slide up and down her back soothingly.

"Look on the bright side, dear, the more of these problems we take care of now, the sooner you can sleep."

'Reyna snorted, "Right, because it's not like every time we deal with one problem two more pop up or anything."

"Such pessimism, Querida, where is that indomitable will we all love so much." Zevran curled a lock of hair from her ponytail around his finger.

'Reyna jerked her head sideways pulling the tresses free, "It choked on paperwork and died."

Alistair chuckled, "Did we miss the funeral pyre?"

'Reyna smirked at him, unable to stay irritated with Alistair playing along so cheerfully. "No, but you missed the burial, it was burial by paperwork, I'm going to assume. I haven't been able to wade through enough of it to confirm the body is still in my office."

Anders was glowering at the trio but 'Reyna paid him no heed, she needed a little levity. She practically purred when Zevran nuzzled against her neck. "Are you done eating?"

She nodded, she had just been picking at the food for the last ten minutes, she obviously wasn't going to eat anymore. Zevran stood up and when 'Reyna looked up at him he slid an arm under her legs and another around her back and lifted her off the bench. 'Reyna's arms had automatically twined around the elf's neck so she wouldn't fall. "I'm going to help our dear Commander relax, would you care to join us Lieutenant?"

Laughter erupted in the refectory from the Wardens and a few whoops and hollers joined it when Alistair stood up and started following Zevran to the stairs.

'Reyna's face was buried in Zevran's neck so her voice was muffled when she asked, "Did you have to do that in front of everyone?"

"Would you prefer that I pretend that you are not the most desirable woman I have ever met?" His tone teasing.

She lifted her head to look at him, "I would prefer not to have the Wardens think of me as some sex crazed lunatic."

Alistair watched the exchange with a smirk.

Zevran chuckled, "But you are sex crazed, Querida."

She gave him a mock glare, but couldn't hold it. Instead, she sighed tiredly, "Put me down, Zev."

"Not a chance," he shifted his gaze to Alistair, "Get the door for me?"

"Of course," Alistair pushed open the door to their suite and held it for Zevran to carry 'Reyna through. He closed and locked it behind him before following Zevran and 'Reyna to the bathing chamber. "There's already a bath drawn?"

Zevran nodded as he set 'Reyna down on her feet gently. "I felt like I could use a good scrub after this afternoon and I assumed you both felt the same way."

"There still isn't room for the three of us to fit in there comfortably." 'Reyna pointed out as Zevran started working to remove her boots.

"It doesn't have to fit the three of us. Alistair and I are going to take care of you. All you have to do is relax and let us." With her boots and socks discarded he stood up and started slipping buckles free.

Alistair took off his own footwear and then slid off his tunic; he hadn't bothered with armor for the Fade exercise. He moved over to help Zevran with 'Reyna's armor and grinned as Zevran stepped away to remove his boots and tunic before he and Alistair finished stripping 'Reyna down.

Alistair picked her up and set her in the tub while Zevran disappeared into the bedroom. 'Reyna stretched out sighing as the warmth enveloped her. Alistair was untying the leather thong still holding her hair in the high ponytail she was so fond of when Zevran came back with a dark brown glass bottle with a cork stopper in it.

He moved to the side of the tub and uncorking the bottle dropped several drops of the clear fluid into the tub. He re-corked the bottle and set it aside before agitating the water a bit with his fingers. He grinned broadly when Sareyna inhaled deeply and sighed happily.

"Zev, it smells like roses."

"Of course, you like roses." He stroked her hair lightly before he picked up a bar of soap and a washing cloth. He moved around to the end of the tub and reached in to grab one of her feet, lifting it gently to be washed.

On the other end of the tub Alistair was using a pitcher to pour some of the scented water carefully over 'Reyna's hair. It took several times to wet it thoroughly before he used some of the scented soap from Leliana to work a rich rose scented lather into her hair.

"You guys are spoiling me." 'Reyna murmured.

"A little pampering is just what you need." Zevran planned on making sure she was taken care of before the night was over. He watched Alistair massage 'Reyna's scalp like Zev had shown him and Zevran continued to clean and massage 'Reyna's feet and calves. She had been so anxious for the last week that he had begun to worry about her. He didn't remember her being that wound up even during the Blight. He had become even more concerned when Alistair had agreed with him. Worried, the two of them had spent the last few evenings planning this little reprieve for the woman they loved.

Slowly Zevran worked his way up her legs, moving the stool he was sitting in around the tub as he did so. Alistair rinsed the soap out of her hair before he began lathering her hair a second time. Zevran smiled as 'Reyna's eyes drifted shut. He rubbed her inner thighs, washing them thoroughly and massaging them, the suds making his fingers slip along her skin as if her skin were oiled.

He watched Alistair, waiting for him to finish with 'Reyna's hair. The man loved to play with 'Reyna's hair, Zevran wondered if it was because it reminded him of how the two of them had fallen in love, or if the man had always had a fondness for hair. Alistair combed his fingers slowly through her tresses as he rinsed it out the second time.

Alistair set the pitcher down and picked up another bar of soap. He worked up a good lather before he looked to Zevran and smiled, letting Zev know he was ready. Zevran skirted his fingers up 'Reyna's thighs as Alistair slid his down her shoulders. Alistair's fingers slid down over her breasts and he began sliding his hand under and around 'Reyna's breasts, the soap making them slide like silk.

Zev watched as 'Reyna sighed in pleasure. His own fingers reached the apex of her thighs and 'Reyna tensed for a second in surprise before she spread her legs a bit further for him. He let his fingers tease her outer folds running them back and forth across the sensitive skin. As her sex began to flush he let his fingers start to separate her folds only to pull back at the last second before they parted.

Alistair's fingers were focused on 'Reyna's nipples, he teased them with slick circles before brushing right across them. 'Reyna's body had begun to writhe a little in the tub and she kept her eyes closed, her lips slightly parted. Her flushed caramel skin looked beautiful and Zevran was more than a little pleased to see that the lips of her engorged sex had parted from his gentle teasing.

Zevran ran his fingers along the outside edges, his own arousal throbbing between his legs. Was there anything more beautiful, more alluring that the sight of an aroused woman's sex, or the smell of that arousal? No matter how many women Zevran had bedded it never lost its appeal. And he felt sure he had never seen a pussy as pretty as his Querida's.

He caressed her clit gently, the catch in her breath making him smile. He moved his hand and caressed the bottom of her inner folds with the lightest touches of his fingertips. 'Reyna's hips rocked as she tried to find a more satisfying touch. But Zev was careful to only offer her teasing caresses, it was always better for all of them if they teased her for a while. It made her hungrier for them, harder to satisfy, almost greedy.

After a few more minutes he heard her voice beg softly, "Please."

"Please what, Querida?" Zevran caressed her clit gently again.

Her eyes opened and she looked at Zevran, "Please don't tease me, not tonight, I can't take another night of that."

Zevran's finger ever so lightly touched her clit again, "All you need to do is tell us what you want and we will give it to you."

She sighed softly when Zevran's finger moved away from her clit to stroke gently down towards her opening; he let his finger glide over her but not to enter her. He looked up and saw that Alistair's hands were back to cupping and massaging her breasts.

"I want you both inside me." Her voice soft, barely audible before she licked her lips.

"Hmm, but where?" Zev gave her a teasing smile.

She hesitated in answering and it was all Zevran really needed to know what she wanted. It embarrassed her to admit that she liked the borderline pain feeling of having Alistair inside her ass. She liked the stretch, she had confided to them both one night after a few too many cups of wine that it made her feel like she had been conquered. Zevran had smiled at the time, filing away his lover's submissive desires for later. And he had used the knowledge often since then.

Alistair leaned forward and licked her ear, "It's alright, love, you can say it."

'Reyna shivered and whimpered a little but didn't say anything. Zevran moved away and started pouring water over her soaped skin to rinse it off; it wouldn't be long before one of them was going to pull her out of the tub. Alistair's hands slid back down to her nipples and he squeezed them both until his fingers turned white. 'Reyna moaned and Alistair twisted her nipples a bit.

"Or do you want play one of your little games?" Alistair looked to Zevran as he spoke and gave him a smile.

There were several beats of silence as 'Reyna seemed to contemplate the question before she sighed softly, "no." 'Reyna's hips rocked up seeking fingers that were no longer there, it was all the answer either of them needed. Alistair stood up and scooped 'Reyna out of the water, not bothering to dry her off as he carried her to their bed.

Gently, he laid her down dropping a soft kiss to her lips. Zev walked around the bed to sit down on the far side watching his two lovers. The light of the fire glinted off the red gold hair of his arms and chest. The sight of his silhouette was beautiful, all hard planes and chiseled features. Zev had thought of Alistair as a boy when first they met, but now less than two years later there was nothing boyish about him.

As Alistair stood Zev shifted his gaze to 'Reyna. The swell of her breasts, that flat dip of her stomach and her profile stood out in relief against the light of the fire. The need to touch both her and Alistair was strong, but he wanted to watch them for a while. The sight of the two of them, naked and moving together was still the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

Alistair climbed onto the bed, one knee between 'Reyna's legs and the other holding his weight beside her knee. He lowered himself slowly to kiss her again. He lowered himself to his elbow and with his other hand twined his fingers into 'Reyna's hair tipping her head while he kissed her. It was only a few moments before 'Reyna's hands snaked up around his neck.

A little moan escaped her and Zev watched as her hips rocked slowly. Alistair shifted and moved his knee higher letting her grind herself against his knee slowly. Alistair was taking his time with the kiss and Zev felt his heartbeat quicken at the sight of the two of them locked together, the caramel color of her skin against the bronzed tan of his. Part of him wanted to crawl over and wedge himself between them, but he was enjoying the view.

'Reyna's hands untangled from Ali's hair that was a little longer than shoulder length now. She skimmed her fingers down the skin of his back until they rested against his lower back. Zev smiled as he realized she was trying to pull Alistair down, trying to get more contact with his skin. When he wouldn't budge She arched her back, pressing herself against him as well as she could.

Ali took the hand from her hair and wrapped it around her waist, pulling her tighter against him for a moment, grinding his length against her stomach for a moment before he lowered her and broke from the kiss. 'Reyna was panting, the teasing in the tub and Ali's tender ministrations having quite the effect on her.

Zev watched as Ali's pink tongue danced across the skin of 'Reyna's neck, making her moan with pleasure. Zev ached, and wanted to touch himself as he watched his two lovers, but he was determined to wait. He would not give into the urge before Ali was even touched. His mind wandered in a type of rapture, between the absolute physical beauty of what he was seeing, and the pleasure of watching those he loved giving each other pleasure.

From her neck Ali moved down, scattering light kisses and teasing nips along her collar bone, each one eliciting a pleasured noise from their vocal goddess. The sounds she made were one of the most amazing things about her. She was never afraid to vocalize exactly what felt good and what didn't, she never held back.

A ripple of pleasure made Zev shudder a bit and his cock to twitch as he remembered times when he and Alistair literally brought her to orgasm screaming. Shaking himself from his reverie he returned his attention to Ali and 'Reyna. He had moved to teasing her nipples, moving between them both his tongue flicking against them gently.

Both were darkened and hard and practically begging to be kissed, sucked and still Alistair seemed to resist. He smiled up at her periodically as she writhed and moaned her back arching seeking relief. She clutched at his head pulling him down against her and Ali went with a chuckle, his lips encircling her nipple and 'Reyna making a noise halfway between relief and bliss.

Zev felt a wave of desire flush through him at the sight of Alistair bent in such a matter, the muscles of his buttocks rounded and tight. The gorgeous sight of the forbidden fruit that was Alistair's ass, the one thing Zev knew he could never have. He longed to bury himself inside the mighty warrior, but the thoughts were always at random and usually fleeting. Alistair would never allow Zevran to do the things to him that Zevran allowed Alistair to do.

He would never take Zevran into his mouth, would never let Zevran inside of him. It was just not who the warrior was. Alistair had made enough concessions, had opened himself up so far beyond what he ever imagined that Zevran could only be thankful for what he had. Those were small things after all when compared to what he did have, what he was allowed and the love they all shared.

When his mind again returned to the two people only a few feet from him, he realized his mind must have wandered for a while. Alistair had continued his downward exploration of 'Reyna. His tongue was now tracing lazy circles around her navel, his body nestled between her legs and one hand resting gently on her hip.

'Reyna's eyes were closed and she was biting her bottom lip as Ali's tongue teased her flesh. Her fingers were tangled into his hair and her breaths were shaky with need. As the tip of Ali's tongue danced lightly on her skin it had pebbled. Zevran took a long slow breath; there was something divine about the two of them, their skin kissed by firelight, even the scars, and their responsiveness to each other.

Zev committed some kind of blasphemy at least a dozen times a month; usually it was with thoughts like this. She was tall and gorgeous, an almost stark kind of beauty, her face was just shy of severe, her body was ravaged by too many battles to count, but it just made her even more beautiful, that even with her skin so marred, she looked soft and beautiful.

And he may have fallen in love with Sareyna first, but it had been Alistair that had first captured his eye, the broad warrior who looked like he had been chiseled from granite, the golden haired Adonis who had not even realized his own appeal. But he understood it now; he had a confidence in himself now that was all the more beautiful. And how could it not melt even the coldest heart when he turned that smile on you?

As if he had heard Zev's thoughts he looked over at Zevran, waiting a moment, and smiled at him before tracing a finger down Zev's thigh. "Zev?" it was asked lightly, sometimes all Zev wanted to do was watch them, but Alistair prided himself on pleasing them both, so he always asked.

Zev, his heart racing from the sheer physical beauty of Ali and 'Reyna his body aching to be touched smiled back at Ali, "Taste her."

He saw Ali's breath hitch just the slightest before he shifted lower he couldn't see each movement Alistair made as his head moved between 'Reyna's legs, but he could imagine. The light touches of his tongue, the subtle caresses came with quiet, almost nonexistent sounds on exhalations of breath from 'Reyna. The more firm strokes brought louder sounds and her back arched a bit. But when Alistair wrapped his lips around her clit and lapped it 'Reyna's fingers tangled into his hair, her hips rising as she all but ground Alistair's mouth against her.

Zevran moved forward and touched 'Reyna's shoulder. She opened her eyes slowly, they were glazed and her lip was swollen from her worrying it. He stroked her cheek affectionately.

"Watch him; watch the muscles of his back, the sweep of his hair." It was something the two of them all too often took for granted. They enjoyed the feel of each other, the thrill of power games but they often forgot their other senses. He liked to share it all with them, he wanted to know what she felt when she watched Alistair bringing her pleasure with his lips and tongue, wanted her to see how beautiful they were together.

Her hips lowered and her hands untangled from his hair. She moved his hair to the side holding it with her hand so she could watch him. Zev smiled as he watched her eyes roam over Alistair. The muscles in her abdomen quivered as she kept watching. Alistair shifted and looked up at her, locking his eyes with 'Reyna as his tongue laved across her clit.

'Reyna gasped and curled upwards her hand tightening in his hair, as she came. Alistair moaned and his tongue was quick to lick up all her juices, his tongue making 'Reyna writhe. Zev wanted to move Alistair out of the way, suddenly feeling a need to taste her but held back. The want, the wait, was part of the fun for him. How long could he deny himself before he had to act.

He didn't have to wait long, Alistair rose up to his knees and beckoned Zev closer. Zev moved without hesitation, he wanted desperately to be touched, just something small, something that would push him that much higher, not satiate his need. Alistair leaned forward and pulled Zev into a hot kiss. His tongue pressed urgently, seeking access to Zev's mouth and he willingly gave it.

The taste of 'Reyna on his tongue was sweet and musky. And it lit a fire in Zev's belly, he found himself grabbing Alistair deepening the kiss, desperate for more of her taste, and more of Ali's too. 'Reyna and Zev often joked that Ali always tasted of cheddar and apples, but it was soothing, comforting to know that even without the Blight it remained a constant.

A warmth radiated through Zev, every cell in his body seemed to ache for Alistair all at once. His skin was hot, prickling slightly with the need to be touched. His nipples ached, his heart throbbed hard in his chest, even in the hot tight press of their mouths his lips craved more, wanted it to go on and on.

Alistair was only touching him with one hand, as it cupped Zev's face and to Zev it was not nearly enough. He wanted every inch of his skin to be touched, caressed, wanted to feel the hot breath of a lover on his neck, feel the press of Ali's body against his, and the weight of 'Reyna's gaze just made him ache all the more.

Alistair broke the kiss and Zev tried to follow him, to kiss him again but Alistair held him gently away from him. He moved slowly to lie down beside 'Reyna and Zev couldn't stop watching him, watching the cords and bunches of his muscles slide under his skin. When Ali had settled himself his lips curved into a bit of a smile.

"Now you."

A tingling wave of warmth rolled up Zev's body from his chest up his neck and across his scalp. He moved quickly, taking care to be graceful, both of his lovers confessed to the enjoyment of watching him move and he didn't want to disappoint in his eagerness. As he settled down between her legs, he took one of her hands and entwined his fingers with hers.

The first touch of his tongue was followed by an exhalation of breath, yes, this was what he wanted, the taste of her in his mouth, her skin against his, her fingers enmeshed with his own and Alistair's eyes roving over his body. He could feel Alistair's gaze almost as a physical thing like the softest fingers caressing his skin. Zevran shivered a little under the scrutiny.

But the taste of 'Reyna, the way her body moved quickly recaptured his full attention. It was only a few moments before her hips were rocking against him and rolling in circles. Her body started to cant to the side a little but stopped at the sound of Ali's voice.

"Stop, stay still for him love."

Zev glanced up to see Ali's fingers rolling one of 'Reyna's nipples between his fingers. He tugged it gently and a quiet moan escaped from her lips. Zev concentrated on tasting her, moving his tongue as deeply inside of her as he could and 'Reyna kept moving against him trying to get him deeper. He speared his tongue into her with a few quick and rigid jabs before using the tip of his tongue to tease her clit drawing circles around it and sliding back and forth over it.

He felt a little surge of pride when she twisted her fingers into his hair pulling him so tight he could barely move and called out his name before she had her second orgasm of the night. When she finally released him he looked up at Alistair with a smirk, it was always a bit of a contest, to see who could get her to say their name first and in all honesty, it was usually Alistair so when Zev was able to do it he was quite pleased.

Zevran moved to lie down next to her to rest his tongue and his neck for a moment. As soon as he had lain down 'Reyna began to move. But a small touch and a word from Ali stopped her.

"Lie back, relax. We're here to take care of you."

She looked at him surprised, "I know but…"

Gently, he pushed her back down and moved over top of her again. This time his weight settled over her as his hips settled between her legs. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, taking in the scent of her, Zev was sure. He nuzzled against her neck then pulled back to place a gentle kiss on her lips. He deepened the kiss as his hips shifted a little, seeking the right angle.

Zev watched, his fingers periodically skimming over Ali and then over 'Reyna. He watched with a smile as 'Reyna's arms twined around Ali's neck only a moment before Ali found the right angle and entered her slowly. And he almost felt a bit jealous when she whispered "Ali," relief and love and awe all wrapped up in such a small little sound.

Ali stroked into her a few times slowly before he spread his thighs a little and raised 'Reyna's hips so her legs circled his waist. He wrapped an arm around her back, "Hold onto me."

'Reyna did and Alistair moved them until he was up on his knees, his weight setting back on his heels and she was wrapped around his waist. He moved her up and down a few more times as she clung to him and then he stopped and looked to where Zev was still lying back and watching them.

"Zev, come here."

Zev smiled, realizing what Alistair wanted, seemed Ali had his own agenda for the evening. He grabbed the jar of balm from the bedside table and moved in close behind 'Reyna. Alistair kissed her and stroked into her a few more times as Zev prepared her, the distractions making it easier. When he was finished he placed the balm back where it belonged and moved forward on his knees until they were between Alistair's powerful spread thighs, so close to 'Reyna that his chest pressed against her back.

He and Alistair adjusted all three of their positions until they were all comfortable and Zevran could start pushing inside of 'Reyna. She took deep breath burying her head in Alistair's shoulder as Zev slowly worked back and forth, moving a little deeper each time, being careful not to hurt her at all.

When he was fully seated inside of her he and Ali shifted 'Reyna's weight back and forth, moving their hips to get used to the new position. As it became easier Zevran kissed her along the back of her neck. Soft kisses and teasing bites, the sound of his breath in her ear and the feel of it on her neck, she writhed in delight her body flushing at all the stimulation.

'Reyna leaned forward and kissed Alistair, a long slow kiss that matched the leisurely pace they were maintaining, her body rocking forward and back like a pendulum as they moved her. Zev was awash in pleasure, her body was tight around him, her skin hot, with the slight tang of salt on it and he could feel Ali's powerful thigh muscles moving against his, could feel Ali's fingers wander from 'Reyna's side to his and back again.

When 'Reyna broke the kiss with Alistair to nuzzle his neck, greedy lover that the warrior was he shifted and pulled Zev a bit so he could reach him for a searing kiss. Kissing Alistair was always an experience. With no cynicism about his lovers' past or present the warrior never held anything of himself back. Each time he kissed you it was like he was branding himself onto you and taking all of you into himself. You could feel every particle of want and need in Ali's kisses.

Zev let Ali kiss him and tried to match him but Alistair was slowly becoming impatient. His hips started moving more quickly and he pulled at Zevran more insistently. Zev even felt 'Reyna's body move, as if squeezed tight by Alistair. And then it was 'Reyna moving, 'Reyna rocking herself back and forth between them.

Ali broke the kiss his head falling back as a growl tore from his lips. His fingers tightened in Zevran's hair as he took a deep breath. Zev's body jerked as he felt 'Reyna squeeze them both as she began riding the two of them. Zev felt Alistair's other arm wrap around him, pulling him close. The three of them were all pressed together now, held tight in Ali's embrace as 'Reyna rode them both.

Zev couldn't do much but let it all happen, his fingers reaching to caress whatever skin he could find on both of them as Ali's grip in his hair stopped him from using his mouth.

Alistair's breath hitched and he let out another deep growl. He took a deep breath, "The two of you will be the death of me, I swear it." He let out a little quiet chuckle.

"But what a happy dead man you would be."

Ali chuckled again at Zev's words, "I can't deny that." He relaxed his grip on Zev's hair, "Sorry."

Zev just smiled what could he say, it's not like he minded. Watching Alistair lose his calm and composure was one of the best parts of this side of their lives together.

"'Reyna hold still." When she didn't respond he threw an exasperated look over her shoulder to Zev, "Hold her still will you?"

Zev nodded, his hand slipping down the sides of her body to grip her hips in his hands, holding them tight so she couldn't move them, effectively stopping her from riding the two of them. With her restrained he and Ali began to move again. Without being in control it only took a few minutes for her to reach orgasm.

Alistair used the hand that had been holding Zev's hair to caress 'Reyna's face. "This was supposed to be about you, remember?"

Zev saw her nod a little and Ali shifted her weight backwards a bit. With a little space between them Ali slid his hand between his and 'Reyna's bodies the muscles in Ali's arm flexed beautifully as his fingers circled 'Reyna's clit pushing her quickly towards another orgasm. She dropped her legs to either side of them instead of them being wrapped around Ali's waist.

She tried to push away from him, tried pulling his fingers away and even tried standing up to get away from his touch. Zev smirked realizing why she was suddenly so desperate to stop Ali's gentle assault on her. Zev nuzzled against her neck and whispered to her.

"Just let it happen. It's natural, normal. It's beautiful."

She shook her head, "It's not."

With her weight shifted onto Zev's lap Ali was able to move faster, his strokes were fast and deep, getting as much contact with the soft spot inside 'Reyna as he could as he teased her clit at the same time. Her body began tightening up, her heels digging into the bed, her back arching and her arms braced against Ali's shoulders. She stayed there on the ledge for a long time as both men watched her fight against what was coming. But Ali knew what he wanted.

Finally, she snapped, her body flexing in on itself, a large rush of fluid coming from her and a primal sounding scream tearing from her lips. Her nails dug into Ali's shoulders and her body spasmed almost painfully around Zev. The scream, the fluid, the spasms as well as her body quaking afterwards were enough to push Zev over the edge and he filled her with his own sticky orgasm.

Alistair moved his hand away from her now over sensitized flesh but he didn't slow his pace. Even so, it was nearly another two minutes before he finished. 'Reyna still looked dazed as he kissed her. Shifting her full weight to Zev's lap Ali slid out of the bed then reached out to take her from Zev.

She curled up in his arms as he carried her back to the bathing chamber. Zev threw on a robe, he needed to get some fresh linens from the small room down the hall and remake their bed. He was gone for a few minutes and was surprised when he returned to find Ali sitting on the couch with 'Reyna curled up in his lap.

He smiled up at Zev, "I did the best I could, cleaning her up, we'll do a better job tomorrow, she passed right out."

Zev chuckled and headed to the bedroom to clean up the rest of the mess they had made.


	51. Chapter 51

**I Hereby Bequeath**

When Sareyna reached her office before breakfast she found Anders already there waiting. She shouldn't have been surprised; this could literally be a matter of life and death for him. She unlocked the door and motioned him inside, "Morning Anders."

Anders nodded, "Let's hope it's a good one."

"It sounded like things went well." She passed by her desk, instead choosing to sit in one of the chairs by the fire.

Anders sat next to her and let his head fall back against the back of the chair while he let out a long sigh. "I don't know what I'm hoping for. I'm still so angry; I almost want a reason to go after a few Templars."

"Am I not keeping you busy enough?" She asked teasingly.

"Tease me all you want 'Reyna, but the fact is those monsters collared me like a damn dog. Everytime I use a looking glass I am reminded of how the rest of world sees me, as less than human. Do you have any idea how humiliating it is to be asked about it again and again or how it feels to have people joke about it? My pain is funny to them." Anders snapped his jaw shut and took several deep breaths, clearly trying to rein in his temper.

"I'm sorry, Anders."

"I don't want you to be sorry; I just want it all to end. I want to be treated like everyone else and not like I'm some catastrophe waiting to happen." He bit his lip and shook his head, for a moment Sareyna thought he might cry. But instead he turned to her, "I want people to treat me like you do, to give me a chance to be their friend and not just write me off because of some accident of birth. And would it be too much to ask that people be appreciative instead of terrified when I heal them? They look at me like I'm going to turn into a demon and eat them at any minute. All I want is a chance, the same chance you gave me."

Before Anders could say more there was a light knock at the door. Druce and Skyla had arrived with the letters from First Enchanter Irving and Knight Commander Gregoir. Skyla handed them over to Sareyna and stepped back and waited, Druce stood behind her, both looked a little uncomfortable.

"How was the trip overall?" she asked idly while she broke the first wax seal.

"It was good mostly, a little rain, but fair enough weather. The Circle…"

"They don't even let them outside?" Druce looked surprised himself when he spoke.

Anders snorted, "No, we might jump in the water and swim off. Armor's not all that great for swimming apparently. Although, they don't teach mages to swim either, so I'm not exactly sure why that's an issue."

Sareyna shook her head and smiled a little, Anders had told her about his little escape by swimming away and that the Templars had decided the mages could not go outside after that. He had felt proud of himself for outsmarting the Templars at first, but later regretted the consequences the other mages had to face because of his actions. And the little stunt hadn't won him any friends either.

Druce smiled at Anders a little, "Would it make you feel better to know that a bunch of the Templars were really sick while we were there?"

Sareyna looked at Anders her heart pounding in her chest; could it possibly mean they were trying to wean the Templars off the Lyrium? Anders was looking at her and she could tell that he was thinking the same thing. She looked down at the letter she had just broken the seal on, it was the letter from Gregoir, now more than ever she wanted to read it, but wasn't sure it would be appropriate for Druce and Skyla to be there.

"Would you two mind terribly if Anders and I went over these alone? I'm not sure how they're going to go and they are a bit private."

"Actually Commander, I have something else that First Enchanter Irving gave to me. But he said to make sure I gave it to you when we were alone, specifically when Anders wasn't with you. And I had to make sure that no one at the Circle saw it." She looked at Anders nervously.

Anders took a deep breath, "That can't be good."

Sareyna shook her head, "Just give it to me Skyla."

Druce chuckled, "Told you she was going to let him stay."

Skyla sighed and handed Sareyna a small box. Sareyna wasn't sure what it was but she was pretty sure she didn't want Skyla and Druce there to see it. And from the look on his face Anders didn't want them to see it either.

"Thank you both."

Skyla smiled and took Druce's arm, "Come on, I think we're needed elsewhere."

Anders sat forward as soon as the door to the office closed. "Well, open the damn thing already."

Sareyna took a deep breath and opened the box and peeked inside, "Oh, Sweet Maker!" She slammed it closed again and laughed the sound half relief and half hysteria. She thrust the box at Anders, "Tell me this is what I think it is."

Anders scowled as he took the box from her, "What is it?"

"Just open it."

Anders opened the box and his eyes went wide. He took out the small blue glass vial that was glowing faintly red. "He gave my leash to you." He shook his head and scoffed, "I can't believe it, first they collar me like a dog and then they hand my leash over to you like a dog exchanging hands. And I thought Irving was a decent man, he's supposed to be the mage's advocate in the Circle." He closed the box and tossed it into the chair next to him.

Sareyna sighed and shook her head, "What are you doing?"

"I don't want to even look at it."

"Wait a minute a few months ago you were dying to find this thing so you could destroy it and now you don't want to look at it? Let's go smash it into a million bits already." She stood up and picked the box back up. When she opened it back up she saw a note tucked under the vial. She unfolded it and skimmed it quickly.

Anders leaned forward, "Well what does it say? 'Please keep this in a safe place you'll need it soon?"

Sareyna shook her head; she was irritated by Irving's assumption that she would want Anders' phylactery. On the other hand, now they could do away with it as Anders had wanted all along. She wanted to get through the rest of what Skyla had brought from the tower as quickly as possible so she and Anders could destroy the phylactery. So she read the note aloud for him.

_Commander, _

_Most mage phylacteries are not kept here as it is too risky to keep them at the Circle. However, as you may or may not be aware, Anders was a special case. His phylactery was kept here to give the Templars as much of an advantage as possible._

_Anders is in your hands now, but given his past I wanted to make sure you had this. I hope Anders is very happy as a Grey Warden, he is a very talented mage and it is nice to know those talents will not go wasted. I will do my best to make sure that Gregoir handles this situation quickly; I don't want Anders to be looking over his shoulder constantly now that he has more important matters to attend to._

_Sincerely,_

_First Enchanter Irving _

Anders just shook his head, opened his mouth to speak and then closed it again, still shaking his head. He managed to speak with the second attempt, "Well, there you go; now you own me."

Sareyna wanted to argue with Anders, but he obviously wasn't thinking very clearly. All he could think about was the Templars and how they had treated him. So instead of giving him assurances she just handed him the box and unfolded the letter from Gregoir and began to read it over without a word.

Most of the letter was a warning to her about Anders being difficult and stubborn and prone to running away from things instead of dealing with them. There were a few paragraphs about how Anders' behavior was surely the result of Irving being too soft on him as a child, all because Anders could make Irving laugh. There was another paragraph dedicated to warning her about Anders' charm and an allusion to his Tower conquests of people who fell for it. She giggled reading it and when Anders gave her an odd look she waived him off and kept reading.

From there the letter took a more sober note. He assured her that he had not been aware that Anders had become a Warden and that he would send out notifications to all of the Chantrys in Ferelden so that there would not be anymore incidents of trouble with the Templars. He asked that she please notify him at once if anyone bothered Anders.

As she read the next paragraph Sareyna felt torn between anger and sadness. Gregoir admitted that there had been times when he had not been able to protect Anders properly. Once he had started escaping most of the Templars became very angry, they wanted Anders made Tranquil. When he was not made Tranquil and passed his Harrowing so he could no longer be made Tranquil they found ways to take it out on Anders.

He said that he and Irving tried to look after Anders in the Tower, but of course when he ran away there was no way for either of them to protect him. They both had duties that did not allow for chasing after mages. Anders had only spoken of problems with the Templars on the return trip once, but he and Irving both had their suspicions. Often when he was returned to the Tower he was quiet and jumpy for weeks, but with no complaint there was nothing that could be done.

The last paragraph was done with firm strokes, different from the rest of the more flowing script preceding it, though the handwriting was the same.

_The year in solitary was a mistake. I did not check on him often enough, which was my failing. When we released him, only a few days before your arrival at the Circle, the boy was half mad. As I let him out I could see that instead of instilling obedience in him we had pushed him to hatred. If I had been alone I believe he would have tried to kill me. Warden Skyla assures me that he seems quite healthy and happy. Just be careful with him, a man can only take so much before he is forever lost._

He signed it best of luck and Sareyna wanted to rip her hair out. The man knew what Anders had gone through, at least part of it, and had allowed the abuses while Anders was in solitude and his response to that was to warn her about Anders? Who warned the mages about him and his Templars? She could feel the muscle along her jaw twitching and she tried to relax.

"Do I want to read that?" Anders was rolling the phylactery through his hands as he spoke.

"No, you don't, bottom line is he didn't know you were a Warden but is sending notices to all of the Chantrys now so that no Templars will bother you again."

Anders rolled his eyes but didn't speak. So Sareyna broke the wax on Irving's letter and read it over quickly, she needn't have bothered, it was a regurgitation of Gregoir's letter. We didn't know, mistakes were made, good mage, and watch out. The two of them were quite the pair, a little too in synch for her tastes. Sareyna was about to throw the letters away when she thought better of it. She got up and put them into the bottom drawer of her desk and locked it.

She looked at Anders, "Now, they can't use denial. We have it in writing from both of them."

"Anything about the Templars being sick or Maric's trip?"

She shook her head, "No, maybe we should write to Maric, or we can stop in to see him when we go there to recruit"

He quirked his brow at her, "We? Since when am I going?"

"Since you're the most charming apostate I have."

Anders chuckled, "I don't know, Naveen is pretty charming."

"I trust you."

"And who's going to keep things running smoothly here while you're away?"

Sareyna laughed, "Anders, you really would run away if I tried to leave you in charge."

Anders shrugged, "I don't know, I'm not the same person I was when I first got here." He stood and held his hand out to her, "If you really mean it about this thing," he held up the phylactery in front of her as she stood, "then let's go destroy it."

Sareyna gestured for him to lead the way. It was only a few moments before they were outside. Anders walked over to where he usually practiced his magic. He tossed the phylactery on the ground and hit it with a blast of lightning, which did absolutely nothing. Anders growled, but Sareyna put a hand on his shoulder.

"Mages, always going to magic first. Did you think they wouldn't protect against that?" She bent over and picked up a sizeable rock and handed it to Anders, "Here, try this."

Anders grabbed the rock and hurled it at the vial. It broke spilling the oddly glittering blood all over the ground. Anders laughed, this time he sounded hysterical, "It's gone, the fucking thing is finally gone." He whirled and grabbed Sareyna planting a kiss on her, "Thank you, thank you so much, for trusting me, for giving me a chance, for being my friend, for…for…for everything." He laughed again and danced her around in a little circle.

"Anders?"

He stopped dancing with her, "Hmm?"

"Do me a favor?"

"Anything, anything at all." His grin was contagious.

Sareyna shook her head still smiling, "Is the enchantment protecting the glass broken?"

"It should be, why?" Anders looked confused.

"Good, burn it, incinerate it all into nothing."

"With pleasure, darlin'," Anders drawled, he pulled her back away from the mess on the ground and let loose a blast of intense fire, he held it letting it blast for several minutes before he stopped. There was a lot of scorched earth and a few red glowing blobs on the ground. "How's that?"

Sareyna smiled, "Good, have someone clean it up and dispose of it when it cools."

Anders put his arm around her shoulders, "Come on, let's go eat, I'm starved."

Sareyna started walking with him, "What about training with Alistair? I thought you hated eating before that?"

"I think I'm going to skip that today. Today I want to forget the Templars exist, so I'm just going to enjoy myself." He reached out and held the door open for her.

"Any plans for your new found freedom?" Sareyna tried to sound casual, but in truth her gut was in knots, she was afraid Anders would leave the Wardens now and she would miss him terribly.

"Are you trying to ask me if I'm leaving?" He arched a brow at her.

She shrugged, trying to show she wasn't worried but when she bit her lip and looked up at him she knew she had failed and abandoned the attempt. "You've never had this kind of freedom before."

Anders stopped and looked at her, "You listen carefully, alright? I'm not leaving. You've given me a good life; I have family here, something I never thought I would have again. And more importantly I have real friends."

She smiled, "I'm glad you're happy here, Anders."

"Me too." With that he turned and walked towards the refectory looking more relaxed than he had in weeks. Sareyna followed him, happy that she wasn't about to lose him as a friend or a Warden.


	52. Chapter 52

**Sacrificial Lambs**

The Wardens were sparring for the afternoon, they were still waiting for Morrigan's decision on who she felt it was alright to share her story with and Anders had decided there was no point in returning to the Fade until the choice had been made. So at this point there wasn't much for most of the Wardens to do other than spar and train.

Zevran and Alistair had been at it for several hours already when Zevran's head jerked up like he was listening to something and Alistair apparently decided to press his advantage. He should have known better, even distracted Zevran put him down. Before Alistair had hit the ground Zev had spun around and leapt the fence running full out for the Keep. "Anders, get your staff now, I need you."

He pushed open the doors and yelled on his way up the stairs, "Morrigan get your staff and bow; meet me at the Keep gate." Taking the stairs two at a time he didn't stop until he got to the suite. His swords were cradled in the weapon rack. He looked down at himself, he was wearing practice armor, but there was no time to change into his other armor. He grabbed the swords and ran back down the stairs and found both Anders and Morrigan waiting for him.

Alistair was standing there as well looking confused. "What's going on Zev?"

"Get Sareyna and Trelain and head back to the basement room that Anders and I put you in before. Wardens are coming."

Nathaniel was only a few steps away, the sound of Zevran's yelling had beckoned him from his office. "Wardens? How did they get here?"

"Does it matter? Protect them, I don't care if you put every Warden between the gate and them, but I want them safe." He started striding quickly across the courtyard, Anders and Morrigan hurrying along behind him. "There are eight of them, three in a group headed to us in a straight line and five more lingering behind trying to take a less direct route. We're going to get them first."

As they passed through the gate he turned to the soldier at the gate, "Lower the portcullis and only open it for the three of us, no one else. And send Garavel to Nathaniel."

The soldier nodded and lowered the portcullis before hurrying towards the barracks. Zevran picked up the pace and was jogging, when he was thinking of the task ahead he felt calm, collected, but when he thought about Sareyna, Alistair and Trelain at the Keep his heart started racing erratically, he needed to keep his mind focused on what was to come.

"The central group had an older Warden or at least he has been a Warden longer than any of the others, by quite a bit, he should be the one in charge. I want everyone else dead, but we need him alive." He cocked his head and changed direction veering off to the right, "We're nearly on the first group. I don't care what you see, kill them all. Some of them are fairly new to the Wardens so they might be young."

"What if they aren't here for Trelain?" Anders asked quietly.

"They are breaking the law, the edict issued by the King. And why else would they be headed here? I want them dead, Bello. They will not touch my family."

"Our family," Morrigan corrected none too gently.

Zevran suddenly halted his head turning slightly, seeking the exact position of their quarry. "Find cover, they'll be coming through here in a couple minutes."

Zevran crouched behind some bushes to wait. He felt the familiar calm settle over him. Death was something he knew well; killing was second nature to him. The moments before he took a life afforded him a peace he had rarely known before Sareyna and Alistair had come into his life. It was one of the reasons he was so good at what he did, he craved those few moments of calm. And the feel of a blade rending flesh, slicing through it and encountering little resistance when placed right felt like a touch of the divine to him.

Many would have missed the soft rustle of leaves as the Wardens moved towards them, but when Zevran was in the calm the world talked to him, he was connected to all that was around him. Part of him even felt like he could feel Anders' heart beating fast, could taste the mage's unease. There was nothing to fear, Anders would do as Zevran instructed, he had come to love Sareyna and would do anything to protect her.

As the first Warden passed the bush he was crouched behind he stood up and wrapping his arm around the Warden's shoulders, slit the man's throat. He dropped the Warden looking to see if the other's needed help but the other two Warden's were already laying dead on the ground.

"Good, let's get the other two." He started moving quickly through the tall grasses and small bushes headed to the other two Wardens who were lingering back. When they found them Morrigan and Anders killed them before they were very close at all. They stopped all the same to make sure they were dead before going after the three headed straight for the Keep.

Zevran separated himself from Anders and Morrigan, asking them to kill the two Wardens on either side. That the one in the middle was the one they wanted. He crept up, moving silently and keeping himself wrapped in shadows. He was close, so close. He could smell the sweat and the stench of the sea on the three Wardens, but he held himself back.

When he saw twin flashes of light he made his move. The Warden in the center turned to look behind him quickly, when he turned back Zevran was already standing there with the dagger from his belt at the Warden's throat. The Warden's eyes widened for a second before he got control of himself again. Zevran was gratified because it assured him that the man did not know his other companions had already been disposed of.

The Warden took a long slow breath, "They assured me you would be no real threat, Zevran Arainai. It seems they were mistaken."

"So it appears." Zevran kept his voice light even though a huge part of him was screaming for this man's head. He had threatened Zevran's family, something he did not take lightly.

The Warden glanced cursorily left and right. "It appears you have incapacitated my traveling companions." He stated calmly.

Zevran gave the man a small cruel smile, "Yes, _all_ of them."

This took the Warden by surprise and he paled a little, "I see, and I am alive for only one reason, I am sure, information."

Zevran nodded.

"And when I have answered the questions you are to ask you will kill me as well, I assume?"

Zevran gave a little shrug, "I could give you a quick death, or turn you over to King Maric as it is his family you are here to take. I believe you would find his dungeons a less than pleasant place for you."

"And if I don't talk?"

"Then I will take you to the King."

The Warden nodded again sagely, "It seems the Wardens do not know everything about your Commander. Does she know you love her?"

Zevran chuckled, "Yes, but you will find many Wardens here who love her. Your task would fail even if you could have gotten past me."

"All willing to die for her and the Lieutenant?"

"And the child."

The Warden furrowed his brow, "The child? We were sent for the Warden Commander's family."

"You do not know about their child?" Zevran was suspicious, how were these Wardens supposed to take Trelain if they didn't know about him?"

"We know of their son, we are to bring him as well. We were told that he lives at the Keep to stay close to his family."

Zevran laughed, Maker they were tricking their own now. These men had all died thinking they were bringing in three adults. "The boy is less than a year old."

"How is that possible? It's the Commander's child; did she have him late in life?" The poor Warden looked completely confused now.

"The Commander is a score and two years, Warden, did Weisshapt not tell you?"

The Warden blanched again, "I'm starting to think this was a suicide mission."

Zevran lowered the dagger, "I agree, they were likely looking for information or to see what their chances of getting into the Keep to get the child were. Is there anything else they told you?"

"They warned us of mages and said that _you_ would not be a concern as you had been beaten by Wardens before. We knew foreign Wardens had been banned by the King, but Weisshapt said the Wardens in Ferelden had all gone rogue and needed to be brought under control. They wanted the Commander's family for leverage while they instated a new Commander." He looked resigned as he recounted the information.

"They were going to make me Commander, or that was what they told me." He paused and looked into Zevran's eyes. "I know nothing more," he paused, "that's not true, they spent a very large amount of coin to get us here, they must want this family badly." He let his breath out in a long sigh then dropped to his knees, "Make it quick, please."

Zevran did, he thrust his dagger between the man's ribs piercing his heart and letting him die quickly. He closed his eyes and focused for a moment reaching out as far as he could with his mind to seek any more Wardens but as of now he felt none that he did not know. He bent and wiped his dagger on the man's armor before he sheathed it back on his belt.

"We didn't even know his name, or where he was from." Anders lamented.

"Well it would have to be pretty far from Ferelden if he didn't know exactly who the Commander was and how young 'Reyna is. But it doesn't matter. We need to get back to the Keep and get the cart, these men need to be brought to the Keep and disposed of." He knelt on the ground and started stripping the armor from the man he had just killed.

"What are you doing, Zev? Leave the poor man some dignity." Anders stalked forward looking indignant.

Zevran stood up and glared at Anders, "And how would it look if the locals were to find dead Wardens this close to the Keep? 'Reyna still has many enemies among them." He turned to Morrigan; please head back to the Keep and have someone bring the cart."

Morrigan nodded and in a flash of green light a bird was in flight headed for the Keep. Zevran resumed his task, once he had the armor off the first Warden he hid it under a bush before starting on the next one.

"Anders, help me, dammit, we have five more after these three." When Anders hesitated again he turned and looked at the mage, "Do you think they would have hesitated to kill you if they had made it to the Keep? They were warned about mages, chances are at least one of them was once a Templar or has some sort of Templar training."

That seemed to get Anders in motion, they quickly had all three sets of armor hidden and headed off to the next group of Wardens.

* * *

Morrigan landed as she transformed back into her own form. The guard at the portcullis took a moment to recover himself. "I'm sorry Warden Morrigan; it's just surprising every time you do that."

Morrigan took it in stride and merely nodded, "The danger is past you can open the gate."

As soon as it was open enough she jogged into the yard seeing what looked like most, if not all, of the garrison stationed in the courtyard. It eased her mind a little to know that they had taken the threat so seriously. She went straight to the stable master and asked him to prepare the cart. She opened the door to the Keep and was surprised to find Naveen and Druce on the other side.

"You're guarding the door?"

Naveen nodded, "Yes, Nathaniel explained what was happening and asked if we would help. We were more than happy to."

"Nathaniel explained it?" Morrigan felt a sinking feeling in her stomach for a moment, but Nathaniel was not stupid.

"Yes, he told us the Wardens have been trying to take the Commander and Lieutenant as well as their baby to do experiments on them because they want to know how they had a child after they both became Wardens. And that the experiments that the Wardens wanted to do would require all three of them to be dead."

Morrigan inhaled deeply through her nose. "Yes, rather unpleasant. The danger is past now, you may return to whatever you were doing before and I will tell the others on my way to the basements."

"Actually, I might stick around here for a bit longer to make sure everything is alright if you don't mind." Naveen gave her a bit of a smile.

"As you wish." She turned and headed down to the basements dismissing the other new Wardens on the way. The more senior Wardens followed her down to the basements. Nathaniel and his bow were right outside of the door to the basement room that Sareyna and Alistair were in.

"Is there news?" He had lowered his bow as soon as he had seen who it was.

"Yes, the danger is past, but we need a little help with clean up. I'm going to let Sareyna and Alistair know and get a few of the men to return with me."

"Clean up, that messy huh?" Nathaniel sighed.

"Zevran wants to make sure nothing is left to suggest what happened to them."

"Makes sense." Nathaniel turned to the door and unlocked it.

Sareyna was just inside the doorway her weapons drawn.

"Peace Commander, it's us." Nathaniel held his hands up in mock surrender.

Sareyna lowered her weapons with a grateful chuckle. "Thank the Maker. Is everything alright? Alistair said Wardens were on their way here."

"Not anymore. The situation has been handled." Morrigan gestured for them to leave the room with her.

"You mean they're all dead?" Sareyna asked curiously.

Morrigan suddenly felt very tired, "Yes, all dead. Would you have had us done differently?"

"Not at all." Sareyna followed quietly for several moments as they headed up the stairs. When they reached the main hall she spoke again, "Thank you, Morrigan."

"The Wardens are getting desperate. It seems this was likely a suicide mission to see what would happen to the Wardens. Weisshapt never even told them that Trelain was a child. But we need to take care of cleaning up this mess before word gets out. You stay here with Trelain. I want to take Alistair, Nathaniel and Oghren with me to help take care of this."

Sareyna nodded, "Anything you want, Morrigan."

She gave Sareyna a small smile, "What I want is a warm bath and a cup of tea."

Sareyna chuckled, "I'll have it waiting when you return, I'll even remember the honey."

Morrigan's smile cracked a little bigger, "That sounds wonderful."

* * *

"You seem upset Morrigan."

She turned to look at Alistair seated beside her on the cart. "Some of those Wardens didn't seem like they were any older than sixteen. Weisshapt sacrificed their lives for a chance to get information. How long can we hold them at bay if money is no object and they have no problem sacrificing their own? Do you really think Zevran can keep the three of you safe forever?"

"I don't know, Morri. I have no idea how to stop this short of handing Trelain over. And would you really want a being that powerful in the hands of Weisshapt? It seems they have begun to develop an interest in politics in other parts of Thedas besides the Anderfels. Who knows what they would be capable of?" Alistair understood Morrigan's concerns completely, he had been wondering that himself since Zevran had gone running off.

"We need to resolve something soon. I like to pride myself on being resilient but Darkspawn, Renault, Flemeth and the Wardens. Even I'm feeling the stress."

Alistair chuckled, "Are you admitting to a weakness, Morrigan? Could it be, are you really human afterall?"

Morrigan sighed and shook her head. "Thank you for being so understanding."

Alistair sobered, "I'm sorry, I was hoping for a smile."

"Mocking me doesn't usually produce that effect."

"How about this? Would you like to go to Denerim with Sareyna when she goes there to recruit? Rumor is that The Wonders of Thedas got in a shipment of fairly rare objects from Rivain."

Morrigan smiled, "That might be nice."

"Ah, and there's the smile."

"Well, don't gloat just because you know how to make me smile."

"I wouldn't dream of it. I'll just enjoy it as a victory." Alistair noticed the cart slowing and looked around. He saw the three mostly naked bodies in the middle of the road they were travelling down. "What happened to their armor?"

"Zev took it off as a precaution, didn't want the locals finding out that there were dead Wardens in the area."

Alistair nodded, "Yes, that would be…bad, very bad." As the cart came to a stop he jumped out of it, "Nathaniel, give me a hand here. Morrigan, Oghren see if you can find where Zevran put the armor, and let's try to be quick about this."

Everyone worked quickly and ten minutes later they were on their way to the next set of bodies. All told it was a little over an hour before they were on their way back to the Keep with everyone in the cart.

"What are we going to do with the bodies?"

Alistair furrowed his brow and looked at Anders, "Burn them of course."

"I was just wondering because of who they are and why they were here."

"We can still give them a proper cremation."

Oghren grumbled next to Alistair, "Seems my axe has been hacking more trees than bodies as of late. I'm about sick of it."

"I can send someone else if you like." Alistair offered.

"No sense in it, I handle an axe better'n anyone at the Keep. Nah, I will go, only maybe send that spit fire Sigrun to keep me company."

Anders raised a brow at the dwarf, "Not sure you're her style my drunken friend."

"Aye, not blonde and running around in skirts."

Alistair laughed, "He's got you there, you, Zev and Karina are all blonde, and all wear skirts.

"Karina, that's her lady friend, eh? Maybe send her along too." Oghren chuckled, "I'd be happy just to watch."

Anders shook his head with a smile, "Don't you have a family back home?"

Oghren snorted, "Don't mean I can't appreciate the view."

They pulled up to the Keep and Morrigan sighed, "At last, we're back. I don't have to listen to this ridiculous prattle anymore." She headed quickly inside and away from the laughter in the cart.


	53. Chapter 53

**Round One**

Sareyna followed the other Wardens as they headed into the safety of the cottage they had been using for their Fade exercises. Morrigan had finally decided who it was that she could trust and they now had four people to watch over them including Justice. The extra protection helped somewhat but she was more anxious than ever. What if this didn't work, where would that leave them, what would happen to them if they died in the Fade?

Several cots were situated in the main room in a circle, the non mages lay down to get comfortable. Anders and Morrigan sat on their cots and waited for everyone to get situated, including those who were there to act as guardians. It only took moments, but time seemed to stretch out long to her, and from the look on Ali's face he felt the same way.

Sigrun moved to stand between the cots where Anders sat and Sareyna was lying down. Cearo was to watch over Morrigan and Nathaniel and Skyla was to stand watch over Alistair and Zevran while they were in the Fade. Justice kept himself in the center of the room so he could more easily direct the energy that both Anders and Morrigan were going to be supplying for the ritual.

Sareyna took a deep breath trying to relax and part of her wanted to close her eyes and just let the ritual carry her away, but the Warden in her needed to see everything. Anders raised his hands and his skin grew luminous, sapphire energy swirling around him as the spirit of fortitude started channeling her energy through him.

Morrigan was next, she sliced her forearm and the red mist began immediately swirling up from the cut enveloping her before branching out across the room. Sareyna took a deep breath as the air in the cottage became heavier, laden as it was with magic. And then the pressure started to build, bubbling outward as Justice added his Fade burst.

With a magenta flash they found themselves in the Fade, the Fade where they had been working, slowly and diligently to build it to their desires and to train in how to manipulate the Fade. Sareyna felt her heart, that wasn't really there, beating fast and hard in her chest. Ali's strong fingers on her back did little to calm her. The memory of being roasted alive was still fresh in her mind, and not something she was looking forward to enduring again.

Flemeth was something beyond them, something none of them completely understood. Even Anders, with all the knowledge he had accumulated over the months seemed wary of an encounter with her, his usual confidence and humor gone, replaced with a more subdued man. Even Morrigan seemed cowed by the prospect of facing her mother.

Anders looked at them and let out a sigh, "Are we ready?"

Sareyna snorted, "No, but will we ever be?"

He gave a short nod, his lips twitching up in a quick smile. "Good point." He turned towards the center of the rounded area and held his hands up towards the sky and began carefully enunciating his incantation. "Vocationem et vocet, et movebitur ab aethere conjuro super nos Flemeth pretium a Lustra.1"

Yellow light shimmered in front of the group as Flemeth slowly took shape. She was glaring at them, her yellow eyes boring into them as she hissed, "Who dares…" her words trailed off as she looked over the group. A smile curved her ancient papery lips; she was amused, perhaps even a bit pleased. "Wardens," she cooed, "Morrigan, so nice to see you all again."

Anders and Morrigan both immediately began to cast. Hands moving swiftly drawing glowing glyphs into the air as quiet words crossed their lips in whispers. Anders' spell finished first. A fist of sapphire blue closed around Flemeth's body tightly. Her eyes went wide in surprise.

A moment later Morrigan finished her spell, taught to her by Avernus, and ropes wrapped tightly around her making an extra layer of binding. Flemeth snarled at them like a ferocious cat, though it was nothing compared to the howl of rage that threatened to tear the veil asunder when Alistair hit her with a blindingly powerful smite.

At that point everyone attacked, or at least tried to. Nathaniel was first, the arrow aimed straight for the witch's heart. But as the arrow neared her it became rimed with ice and instead of penetrating her flesh it shattered upon impact.

Zevran was the first to actually reach Flemeth, but his fingers were blue and apparently numb and useless as he dropped his swords upon the ground trying to cradle his hands against his chest, his teeth gritted against the obvious pain. Ice coated his fingers and one entire arm. His hair became caked in ice crystals as he struggled to move away from the witch.

Alistair stopped several yards away from her, the bitter cold burning his flesh through his silverite armor. He bellowed, "Stop," panting, his teeth chattering and Sareyna stopped short, she glanced around taking in all the shocked and pained faces around her.

She looked back at Anders and Morrigan, "Fire, we need fire, now!"

Morrigan and Anders both blasted Flemeth with fire, and while she was distracted Sareyna snuck behind her, moving quickly. The two gouts washed over Flemeth who hadn't even time to erect a shield and at the sound of her scream Sareyna jumped at her from behind plunging one sword through her back to pierce her heart before twisting her body in mid air arching her other sword downwards swiftly to remove the witch's head. She felt the blade cut through the spinal cord before biting deeply into Flemeth's shoulder. Sareyna's feet didn't quite touch the ground before she was hurdling backwards.

An angry shout shook the Fade, "That is enough!" Flemeth's pale yellow eyes glittered with fury.

Sareyna tried to stand, but found herself unable to move. Ahead of her she could see Alistair and Zevran were just as rigid and motionless. Sareyna was sure, were she able to turn her head, she would be able to see that Nathaniel, Anders and Morrigan were similarly affected.

She watched warily as Flemeth walked to her and then slowly circled her. Flemeth crouched down and leaned in closely. "You should have given them to me." The words came out in a hiss, almost reptilian, sliding unpleasantly across Sareyna's skin. Flemeth opened her mouth as if to say more but all that came out were garbled sounds.

She stumbled backwards as she was hit with lightning. From the corner of her eye Sareyna was able to see Anders advance on Flemeth lightning licking up his arms and crackling from his fingertips to strike her again and again. Sareyna wasn't sure how he had broken the paralysis, she was just grateful. In all likelihood he had just saved her life.

Flemeth, however, was furious. She howled in outrage as she shot bolt after bolt of spirit energy at Anders, powerful enough that he was struggling to keep his spell shield in place. While Anders kept Flemeth at bay, Sareyna concentrated on rematerializing her swords into her hands. The heaviness was starting to recede, meaning the paralysis spell would soon wear off and Sareyna wanted to be ready.

She was still trying to shake off the effects when Alistair broke free. He charged at Flemeth from behind, his scream a mix of anger and pain as the cold bit into his skin again. He managed to make it through, the strike of his shield knocking her forward to sprawl flat on her face as another smite thundered down on her. A quick cleanse seemed to ease the chill around her as Alistair's lips started to regain their color and he too plunged a sword through Flemeth's back aiming for her heart.

Flemeth groaned and started staggering to her feet only to be attacked by Zevran with Sareyna hot on his heels. Sareyna saw light gathering around Flemeth and called out for Alistair, "Again, you need to smite her again."

She was gratified to see the witch reel backwards from the smite. Although, as much as they struck her it didn't seem to do much damage, she was bleeding but she should have been dead several times over. A dark reddish cloud cast by Morrigan seemed to keep Flemeth from healing herself, but they needed to find a way to cause more damage.

Anders had been shooting small dagger like projectiles at the witch interspersed with another spell that seemed to slow Flemeth's movements. With the attacks from all sides she wasn't able to really cast. When one of Anders' projectiles hit Flemeth in the face and she made an unearthly scream, Sareyna thought they just might have a chance to beat her.

From behind her she heard Anders' voice. "'Reyna, come here."

As she turned she saw Nathaniel standing behind her, nocking two arrows. "I've got it. Go to him."

Sareyna dropped back to Anders, amazed at Nathaniel's ability to Keep Flemeth at bay with Zevran and Alistair, even with a bow. Standing back by Anders she could feel his magic prickle along her skin. "Keep her away from me."

Sareyna stood with her back to Anders so she was between him and Flemeth. The other four were keeping her pretty busy, but with someone like Flemeth it was a good idea to be extra cautious. Her head started to swim a little as whatever magic Anders was casting began to build up. It was powerful and all the hairs on her arms and the back of her neck were standing up, or rather they would be if they actually existed here.

It was probably only moments but felt like an eon before she heard Anders' voice again. "Step aside, 'Reyna."

She did so quickly and saw thick ribbons of amber light flow down Anders' arms and across the Fade. It snaked between Nathaniel and Zevran and began to wrap around Flemeth's hands and feet, slowly winding up her arms. Flemeth went rigid and screamed a howl of rage and pain that hurt Sareyna's ears.

She glanced back at Anders and saw him stagger forward a step. She felt a knot in her gut when she realized that whatever it was that he was casting, it was taking a lot out of him. Flemeth tried to wrench away and Anders grimaced but held her tight, the ribbons covering more than half of her arms as well as up to mid thigh.

Nathaniel, Zevran and Alistair continued to attack Flemeth now that she was immobile. Morrigan moved quietly behind Anders and it took Sareyna a moment to realize she was channeling her magic into him. She looked back and forth between Anders and Flemeth unsure what she should do. Part of her felt she should be attacking Flemeth, but Anders had asked her to look after him so she stayed where she was, wishing she could help him.

The strain of the spell became more apparent as he groaned and beads of sweat rolled down his forehead. It was such a strange thing, the Fade, nothing was real, but everything echoed the mortal world. As Anders' breathing became more rapid Sareyna started to panic, what exactly was he doing that was taking so much out of him?

Flemeth screamed again, words crossing her dry ancient lips this time. "No, stop it." Another shriek of pain, "You can't." She seemed to be struggling to gather her power but the onslaught from so many attackers was overwhelming her. Her next scream went on and on, shaking the Fade and making Sareyna's very bones ache and hum.

Sareyna felt her stomach turn as she realized what was happening. As Anders' spell wound further up her extremities the ribbons below disappeared, blowing away like motes of dust, taking with them Flemeth's form. Already her hands and feet were gone, disintegrated and blown away by Anders' spell.

"It's working Anders, hold on, it's working." Sareyna felt absolutely useless, she just stood there watching as her friends and lovers attacked the witch.

Anders was gritting his teeth as the spell continued to pour forth from him. Even Morrigan was looking tired and drained as she continued feeding her magic into his. Bit by bit Flemeth's form was covered in the amber light, then unraveled and blown away. But it wasn't fast enough. Her arms were completely gone and her legs nearly so, and she was bleeding profusely but there was still much of her body left. Sareyna had her doubts that Anders would last that long.

Morrigan closed her eyes, "I don't have anything left Anders, I'm going to have to use blood magic if we need more power."

"No, not yet." He snapped. "I still have to channel it, I don't know how to use it and I don't want to. It will have to work this way." He took a few steps closer to Flemeth and Sareyna moved forward with him, staying to the side, but still between him and the witch.

"We're in the Fade, can't you draw from the Fade itself?" Sareyna asked quietly.

"It doesn't work like that. I'll be alright, I can do this."

"What about the spirit that helped us get here?"

"I've been calling for it, but it has not answered. We're on our own. Just let me concentrate."

Sareyna quieted down, it was hard to watch Anders pour so much of himself into a spell, but if it was the only way to get rid of Flemeth, what other choice did they have?

The ribbons that had been curled around Flemeth's arms encircled her chest. Flemeth's body jerked as another shriek escaped her. She suddenly bent forward curving her back shortly. As her body snapped back a huge wave a force washed out from her body, knocking all of them backwards to sprawl on the ground, even Anders.

As Sareyna and the others started climbing back to their feet the Fade suddenly went dark. They were all surrounded in a deep black silence and it felt as if the Fade was spinning around them. Sareyna dropped into a defensive position, listening for any sound around her. Her heart trip hammered in her chest, she felt as if she were deaf and blind.

The darkness was so complete she could not even see her blades when she held them in front of her face. In the silence, she could not hear her companions, nor even the sound of her own breathing. At length she heard Flemeth speaking, her voice calm again and tinged with amusement, though Sareyna thought she heard the faintest bit of pain as well.

"You are like children playing at adult games, not aware of what you are really doing or the consequences of your actions. And I have neither the time nor desire to teach you."

Sareyna suddenly felt like she was being shoved, her limbs moved slowly and a heavy cold crept up her limbs. It was like being submerged in cold water, but still being able to breathe. "Where are we?" She whispered, but there was no response. After another moment there was a loud popping noise and Sareyna was falling.

* * *

Anders' head throbbed as he found himself awakening rather abruptly in the mortal world. As he tried to get his bearings he heard groaning around him, Flemeth had apparently been able to expel them all forcefully from the Fade at once.

As he struggled to sit up Morrigan gripped his shoulders and was screaming at him. "You said it would work Anders, you said we could kill her!"

Anders pulled himself free from her grasp and glared at her, "Yes, well I wasn't expecting her to be able to expel us all from the Fade simultaneously. Maybe if I knew she had that ability I might have been able to plan for it."

"I didn't know she could that, but you should have known, you're the one who has been reading all of those books." She snapped at him.

Anders gritted his teeth, his anger overwhelming him a little and he stood abruptly towering his height over Morrigan as he glared down at her. "Me? None of those books mention anything like this." He took another breath but was cut off.

"Hey! Knock it off, what do we do now?" Sareyna spoke over them both.

Anders shook his head and closed his eyes settling back down on the cot and leaning his head against the wall behind him, "I haven't the faintest clue."

"Regroup and try again?" Morrigan's voice had quieted as well.

Anders lifted his head from the wall, "I don't think it would be any use. As soon as we summon her spirit she can just cast us right back out. I can try researching some more for a way around it, but I'm not hopeful I'll find something useful in time."

Sareyna scowled, "In time? She doesn't have a body; we should have plenty of time."

"Now she knows we're after her. She can find us in the Fade or speed up finding a body and come after us that way." He combed his fingers through his hair brushing it back from his forehead. "All I did was put us all in danger."

Morrigan sat heavily down next to him, "No, she's not petty. She only wants me."

Anders sighed, "And Trelain."

"I don't know if she wants him or not, I mean he's not her blood or anything, it would be hard for her to bond with him."

"There is nothing I have read in any of the books you have given me that would lead me to believe that makes much of a difference. Knowledge of the person is helpful but by no means necessary."

"I suppose we'll find out soon enough either way." Sareyna knew what Flemeth wanted but there was no sense in worrying everyone. She stood and looked around at everyone, before she spoke again. "Thank you all, let's call it a day. Everybody get some rest."

1 Call and Summon, conjure and stir from the ether bring us Flemeth the Witch of the Wilds.


	54. Chapter 54

**I Dream Of Flemeth**

Alistair carried 'Reyna into their room and tucked her gently into bed. She had forced herself to stay awake for days guzzling tea and the vile coffee that some of the soldiers favored. But eventually nothing had been able to keep her awake and Alistair had found her passed out at her desk. Their fight with Flemeth in the Fade had unnerved her, especially when Flemeth had spoken to her. Anders had given them each charms to wear for protection in the Fade, but 'Reyna still hadn't been convinced.

Alistair was glad she was finally sleeping; she had been forgetful and moody the last two days. And she had looked awful, her eyes red rimmed with deep dark circles, her skin looked ashy and pale. Even now that she was finally sleeping she looked as if she had two black eyes.

Hesitantly, he left her to sleep, choosing instead to get Trelain. The toddler had become very fussy since the incident in the Fade, his crying only ceasing when he was held either by Zevran, Alistair or Sareyna. Zevran had stayed with the boy all morning and Alistair was sure he could do with a break.

* * *

Sareyna knew she was in the Fade, after all the training she had done there with Anders and Morrigan it was easy to spot the signs. She wanted out but couldn't wake up and no matter how many Fade portals she went through she always seemed to end up back where she started. Eventually, she sat on a log trying to keep herself calm.

She just needed to stay hidden and safe while her body replenished itself and then she would be free of this awful place. She held onto the small talisman Anders had given her. She believed in him, she really did, but Flemeth was…

A pale yellow light streaked across the sky and Sareyna scrabbled backwards trying to get away from it. Flemeth had come as if she had heard Sareyna's thoughts. She repeated to herself again and again that she was not afraid; Anders' talisman would protect her.

The light settled and she thought to see Flemeth in front of her but instead she saw a creature that was almost eight feet tall. It appeared as some combination of woman and dragon. The wing span was enormous, more than twice as wide as she was tall. Her eyes were still pale yellow but slitted, like reptilian eyes.

It wore no clothing at all, it was mostly bare flesh except for where there were plates of scaling in the more delicate areas, its whole torso was covered in the maroon colored scales. The hands were human and looked as young as her own. But, the feet were wrong, they looked reptilian. Her hair, Sareyna wasn't sure what else to call it, was long and silvery white reaching nearly to her knees. And it couldn't be denied that she was as beautiful as she was terrifying.

"Ah, Warden Commander, how far we've come from the first time we met."

"What do you want Flemeth?" There was no one else she could be.

The creature smiled, "Straight to the point, I like that. Fine, then here it is. I want my brother."

Sareyna furrowed her brow, confused and took a step back. "Excuse me?"

"I want my brother. Give him to me and you can have Morrigan." Flemeth stalked closer, looming over Sareyna.

"Didn't you do that already? How long ago was it that you first gave Morrigan to me? Was it to keep her out of your hair, or did you really want her to fuck her brother?"

Flemeth stared at Sareyna but didn't seem inclined to speak.

"I suppose even so that it might be a decent offer," Sareyna's stomach turned, "but I don't know who your brother is."

Flemeth laughed and it rang through the Fade like Chantry bells chiming, echoing all around her and hurting Sareyna's ears. "Do you not?"

Sareyna knew who Flemeth wanted, but she could never give him up. She kept silent, better to let the witch think she had no idea who she was referring to. Her heart pounded in her chest as Flemeth continued to stare at her, the yellow of her reptilian eyes boring a hole into her, feeling like the witch was staring straight into her soul. Sareyna fought off the urge to shudder, to show any weakness to this vile creature that wanted her son.

Flemeth turned and walked several steps away, pacing angrily. "You should be grateful little Warden, I have given you much and forgiven even more. I could have killed you fools while you were here in the Fade, but I let you live."

Sareyna felt a prickle at her pride at first but pushed it away. There was something, a niggling thought, a half formed idea just out of reach. But each time she tried to grasp for it the thing slipped away slithering through her fingers and leaving her feeling frustrated.

She decided to stall. "So who are you exactly?"

Flemeth rounded on her, eyes gleaming and she looked pleased. "I am the product of man and magic. I am your salvation and your torment." Suddenly, she sighed, "I am weary of these things. You were learning of who I was before…well before there was an intervention. Would you care to hear the rest of the story?"

Sareyna sat on a log that seemed to have always been there, even though she knew it had not. She tried her best to smile, "I would like to hear it."

Flemeth laughed again, "A temporary reprieve? Are we vying for time Warden Commander?"

Sareyna did not bother to lie, the Fade was the realm of mages, not her own. "Probably."

Flemeth waived her hand and a small cottage appeared and outside sat a woman in a rocking chair made of curved and carved branches. The woman was young and beautiful, flame red hair, her skin pale even though she was clearly tan from exposure. She looked up, seeming to look straight at Sareyna, her eyes were almost the same color of violet as Sareyna's.

"I cannot tell you how many lives I had already lived by this time. I was not young even then." The flame haired woman spoke quietly before turning back to what was in her hands, some kind of basket with unknown herbs inside.

The picture dissolved into mist and was swept away by the wave of Flemeth's hand. Scenes unfolded around them, different women doing various tasks all around the same cottage. Flemeth spoke as she walked in a circle, glancing at each scene and moving on.

"After centuries of silence it seemed Flemeth reawakened and realized how much control Andraste had been taking, how she was being sublimated. She started fighting back. She had learned control from watching Andraste all that time and she used the immense power within her to fight back against Andraste's control. In truth Andraste had not even been aware that the spirit of Flemeth was still sentient, it had been so long since even a stray thought had crossed her mind from the girl.

And after many months the two of them called an uneasy peace. Andraste had not wanted to control Flemeth completely anyways, she had merely become frustrated with the girl's lack of control, and so the two of them lived in relative peace for a while, learning to live and work together, being surprised nearly every day by the new things they could accomplish together. Now that they were finally, truly acting together."

Sareyna watched various scenes unfold as Flemeth continued speaking and circling her. Seemingly uninterested in Sareyna at least for the time being. Perhaps, she had wanted to share her story with at least someone, or maybe it didn't matter because Flemeth was just planning to kill her when she was done. She decided to just keep quiet and listen until she could come up with an idea to get out of this safely.

"And then Andraste heard it in her sleep one night, a voice calling to them for help and promising them more knowledge than either could refuse. And so they had left, nearly immediately, to find the source of the promises. They found her, me, deep below the Frostbacks and using their not inconsiderable power they parted the earth to set her, me, free.

But my body was weak, dying though my mind was strong, and so I used their body to set myself free of the death that was claiming mine. I had thought it would be easy to subsume the other two, they were shemlens, clearly not as strong as I, but I was surprised when they worked together to keep me from forcing them from the mage girl's body."

Flemeth paced faster, instead of in circles back and forth rapidly now. Her face looked down as she spoke, the words tumbling from her more quickly. It made Sareyna incredibly uncomfortable, at any moment Flemeth could strike her down.

"I felt crowded and insane for weeks, but the two of them had patience with me and helped me learn how to live in the body with them without tearing us apart. It was I that suggested using mage bodies as replacements for our own instead of the random women they had chosen so far; it was a good way to accumulate power. We could absorb their talents while disposing of the personality.

Over the centuries we felt ourselves merging more and more, becoming one personality. Three mages from three different centuries became one. And all the mages we took added to our power and knowledge if not our personality and as time limped on we discovered we no longer had need of a physical body to fill, we could make our own at any time. We could even split ourselves into pieces, into fragments and yet retain all the knowledge and power that we had as one cohesive unit. We could live in three separate bodies of our own making."

Flemeth paused and looked up catching Sareyna in her gaze; a smile curled her lips, the teeth looking a little more pointed than perhaps they should have. She took a few steps closer to Sareyna and inhaled deeply. Sareyna was ready to take a step away from her, being so close to her was making her skin crawl but she felt a sudden surge of strength. She stood tall and held Flemeth's gaze. Flemeth broke the gaze and looked away, starting to speak again.

"Poor Morrigan, she never understood any of it, of course that was my doing, much easier to leave her in the dark about my true intentions. What do I care for another mere mage when I could be reunited with someone as powerful as my brother?"

She gave Sareyna another smile, "And we're about to have some company."

Sareyna turned to look where Flemeth was looking. She watched as Urthemiel materialized not more than ten feet away from her. His golden hair as usual floating around his head in a nimbus, but instead of floating as he usually was he stood reaching his hand out to Sareyna. "Come here mother."

Sareyna didn't hesitate, she moved close to him and when he could touch her he grabbed her wrist, pushing her so she was standing behind him. He held her there and she heard him inside her head, _"Anders is coming mother, just stay here. She cannot touch you while you wear Anders' talisman."_

Flemeth took a step towards them, "Hello brother, so nice to see you."

Urthemiel remained silent.

"Really, you have nothing to say to me after eons apart? Come brother, that makes me feel unloved." She smiled again, the ragged peaks of her teeth showing.

Urthemiel held onto Sareyna but remained silent; his fingers caressed her flesh softly. She felt her heart beat slow down, felt herself calming. There was a shimmer across the Fade, a sapphire blue rippling and everything around them started tearing apart. Sareyna started but Urthemiel's grip tightened. _"Stay still, you're safe. Anders is here."_

As everything slowly dissolved Sareyna heard Flemeth's laughter ringing around them. "He's special, your mage, very special. Keep a hold of him, if you can. I will see you soon my brother."

Everything turned black and Sareyna felt herself suddenly awake. Anders wrapped his arms around her as she jerked upright in her bed. "Shh, it's alright."

She leaned into his arms, letting him hold her. "Where are Alistair and Zevran?"

Anders sat down beside her, "They are both with Trelain. He began screaming and glowing about twenty minutes ago. They sent me to check on you." He stroked her hair, "I'm sorry it took me a few minutes to figure out what was going on. Were you hurt?"

She shook her head but didn't let him go yet. "She didn't touch me." She rubbed the talisman between her fingers. "Just scared the crap out of me."

"Was it Flemeth?"

She nodded and looked up at him, "I think she's afraid of you."

Anders chuckled, "I doubt it."

"There's something Anders, she couldn't stop you from pulling me out of the Fade and she seemed impressed." She let him go and sat back, "Trelain was there. He held me behind him and told me you were coming." She couldn't look at him, "There's no where that's safe anymore. Even my dreams are no longer nightmares, but battles I can lose."

"It's not the first time your dreams have been dangerous." Anders smoothed her hair again.

"That doesn't really help."

Anders stood and held out his hand. "Come, let's go see your son."

Sareyna stood and took his hand, following him down the hall and down the stairs to go see her son, the brother of her most frightening enemy.


	55. Chapter 55

**Anders Dances With The Witch**

Anders ran from his room, his skin singing and his teeth practically vibrating in his head. "Morrigan!" He took the stairs two at a time.

Morrigan met him in the main hall, "I know I feel her too."

"We need to get everyone, now!"

Morrigan shivered just the tiniest bit, "I'll get the Wardens."

Anders nodded, "I'll get the soldiers and have Varel get everyone one else somewhere relatively safe."

An hour later they were all standing in the main hall. Sareyna crossed to Anders, "Where is Trelain, I want to see him."

Anders shook his head, "You can't, there's no time. And he sealed the door after I closed it."

The tears in Sareyna's eyes broke Anders' heart, "We're all going to die, aren't we."

Anders opened his mouth to say something positive, something inspirational but could think of nothing. Thankfully, he was saved from having to muddle through by Alistair stepping up behind her and wrapping and arm around her waist.

The warrior pulled 'Reyna back against him and kissed her hair, "We're going to be fine. You defeated her once before."

Sareyna pulled his arm loose enough to turn to face him; Alistair would not relinquish his hold completely. "Did we? Or did she just let us think we did? And we nearly died doing it."

Ever the optimist, Alistair tried to soothe her again, "There are more of us now, and Anders is a better healer than Wynne, a lot better."

Anders was startled when he felt a hand lightly squeeze his shoulder. It was Morrigan standing beside him, "Maybe if I go to her, she'll leave the rest of you alone, leave Trelain alone."

"Not on your life, sis, you're stuck with us now." Anders reached up and squeezed her hand, the affection foreign to them both.

A circle formed at one end of the room. First with Anders, Alistair, Morrigan and Sareyna they stood there quietly trying to reassure each other with smiles and touches. Then Zevran and Nathaniel joined them, a few words of comfort and solidarity were whispered. Kisses and hugs were shared; Anders was surprised when even Nathaniel hugged him, clapping him companionably on the back. Zevran clung to Alistair and Sareyna both, not letting them go, Nathaniel hugged and kissed Morrigan passionately in an uncharacteristic display.

Anders felt his gut clench at the sight, was there any surer sign that they were in trouble than that, not only had Nathaniel done it, but Morrigan had allowed it. Slowly, Sigrun wandered over and she too doled out hugs. Then, Oghren joined them, and he was sober, no alcohol and no ill timed jokes. Lastly, Justice wandered over, and though his face carried no expression Anders could see the tension in the way he stood.

Anders closed his eyes briefly, _"Fuck, we really are going to die_." He shoved the thought away quickly and opened his eyes, smiling as best he could and wondering if they were all doing the same.

Anders felt a hand slipping into his and looked to find it was 'Reyna, she gave him a small smile and squeezed his hand. Alistair had moved behind her and Zevran, holding one in each arm while Zevran still held 'Reyna's other hand. She tugged Anders closer to her.

"Thank you for staying with us, Anders."

Anders chuckled, his eyes tearing up a little; he quickly laid his head on 'Reyna's shoulder. "You're the best friend I've ever had, where would I go?"

She kissed his head, and slid her arm around his waist pulling him close to her. She whispered to him as she held him close, his head still on her shoulder. "Anywhere you wanted. And you could always come home."

Anders lifted his head to look at her feeling a little confused, his heart aching.

She smiled, "I've only ever had one friend who understood me, accepted all of me like you do, and he's…not with us. No matter what happens, now or ever, wherever I am, there's a home waiting for you."

Anders squeezed her and kissed her cheek, grateful he had met her, had experienced a friendship as deep and as complex as the one he shared with her. He wondered briefly how many people had this kind of friendship, mage or not. Part of him thought it was something special even for people who weren't mages and who didn't spend their whole lives in towers.

He held her for another moment before letting go, "She's close 'Reyna."

Sareyna nodded and stepped away from both Alistair and Zevran. Alistair kept a hold of Zevran's waist and his other arm settled on Anders shoulder, just a friendly touch to anchor them both. She climbed up to stand on the throne in the front of the room that she never sat on, but that Varel insisted on keeping there. She faced the group. The Wardens and soldiers both shifted uncomfortably, looking worried.

She took a deep breath, "I'm afraid I have some bad news for everyone." She looked around at the anxious faces, "The legends about The Witch Of The Wilds are true. She does exist and she's on the way here. She may be only one woman, and she might seem old and frail, but do not be fooled. This fight will be as difficult, if not more so, than fighting the Archdemon."

There were a few murmurs through the crowd and 'Reyna waited for them to quiet down before she spoke again. Anders watched the group seeing if any were ready to bolt, and though plenty of them looked terrified none of them seemed like they were leaving anytime soon.

"She knows most, if not all of the spells that our mages know so be prepared for your spells to be countered or immediately dispelled. Anything that you know that is not a common spell will be useful to you now. I wish I had more advice than that. You have all been training for months and in some cases years for battle. Unfortunately, nothing you have battled so far can really prepare you for this. She is a shapeshifter and quite possibly the most powerful mage that ever lived. Anyone with Templar training from Alistair, this is the time to try it out. Now let's get out there and give all those legends a happy ending."

She stepped down from the throne and a slow ripple of applause rolled across the room. 'Reyna snorted, "Should have practiced I suppose." She looked over her senior Wardens. "I want you guys to take the Warden's you've been training and deploy them as you see fit. If they have been training with more than one of you work together to figure out what's best. I haven't had a chance to watch them all recently, you'll know better than me.

"I want a senior Warden with each group of junior Wardens. They need to see someone be strong and not falter." She gave them all a small smile, "Hopefully, none of us will falter."

There was rustling around the main hall as a few quiet orders were given before they all moved out into the courtyard. Sareyna stopped and looked around at the huge group of people.

"We've trapped ourselves in here, maybe we should go outside the walls."

Alistair shook his head, "No, this will restrict her movements. Besides when the archers get up on the battlements there will be a lot more room."

"Do you want our archers up there too, Lieutenant?" Nathaniel spoke quietly but with a calm authority that Anders wished he had at the moment.

"No, I want our archers to do their best to protect our mages."

Nathaniel nodded and moved away, the mages going with him. Anders grabbed 'Reyna's hand and squeezed it once more before joining the others near the Keep's steps. He cringed as he watched Sareyna make her way to the front of the formation with the warriors instead of staying off to the sides with the other rogues. He vowed to himself to keep her safe and make sure she made it through the fight no matter what; he owed her his life more than twice over.

A hush fell over the yard and Anders looked up, his eyes pulled by the presence of strong magic and a rapidly growing shadow. It was a dragon, or rather; it was Flemeth in the guise of a dragon. As it rapidly descended he felt an odd prickling in the air around him, a magic he couldn't place. Everything in the yard seemed to stop dead.

Anders felt his heart pound when the dragon transformed into an elderly woman with long white hair as she landed. He was shocked by how old she looked; it was hard to imagine her as powerful she was so shriveled and shrunken. Surprised as he was by her appearance it took him a few seconds to realize no one else in the courtyard was looking at her, they were all still looking at the sky.

Anders took a quick step backwards. Suddenly, the old woman was behind him gripping him firmly by his ponytail, her other hand, covered in a gauntlet he didn't remember seeing on her, digging into his hip.

"Ah, ah my lovely, stay still."

The woman behind him had a strong clear voice, a deep almost sensual voice when she spoke and she seemed a lot taller than she had looked a moment ago. "What's going on?" He tried to sound confident, like he wasn't terrified of her but his voice held a distinct waiver.

"Anders," she purred in his ear, "my mageling prince, do you like it?" She turned his head with her grip in his ponytail, "I've slowed down time in the courtyard so that for all appearances it has stopped for everyone but us."

"W..why?" Anders thought his heart might fracture his sternum it was pounding so hard. What could she possibly want with him? Was this some illusion she was putting in his head to scare him? He had read about spells that allowed one to do that, though he had never attempted them. Now he cursed himself, perhaps if he had he would have been able to see through this one.

Dry papery lips rasped against his neck, "I wanted to meet you, of course." She let out a low rumble of laughter, "Alas, now that we've met we must part ways."

Anders' heart stuttered, was she going to kill him? "Wait, why did you want to meet me?"

"You throw off a paralysis spell of mine that quickly, nearly manage to destroy me in the Fade and then pull someone from my grasp like you were picking up a spoon and you want to know why I want to meet you? Are you trying for humility? You're not fooling anyone." She let out a low rumble of laughter.

"So you plan on killing me?" Why hadn't he called forth a spell or fought to get out of her grip.

She laughed a deep rich sound. "Not at all, why waste a beautiful gifted thing like you? Besides, there's someone you need to meet before you get to rest sweet prince."

"Who, how do you know?" He shook his head, "Never mind, Morrigan warned me that you liked to play with people's minds." His body finally responding he gripped his staff a bit harder and whirled, sweeping the staff down by her knee. She let out a pained yelp as she went down and Anders quickly cast his arcane warrior spell before hitting her in the sternum.

She looked nothing like she had only moments ago, she was a tall woman in strange armor, her hair weirdly resembling the horns of the dragon, whose shape she had taken only minutes before. Her body looked strong and healthy, nothing like the frail women she first portrayed. Anders felt a wave of fear uncurl in his stomach. They truly knew nothing of this creature, not even her true appearance. He pushed the fear aside and continued his assault lest he find himself a permanent resident in the Fade.

Flemeth was slow to respond, and Anders was able to pull off another spell, _"Thank you Velanna"_ he thought to himself as he called roots to hold Flemeth down and then more to impale her. Flemeth screeched like a banshee as she was repeatedly impaled by the thick roots. Anders began to cast again, turning from her so the spell wouldn't touch her he began to gather his mana to cleanse away the time spell she had cast over the courtyard.

Before he was able to release the energy he felt himself suddenly paralyzed. The papery dry lips were back at his ear, an arm circled his waist and he could feel Flemeth press herself against his back. "Very good little mage, I was not expecting you to be so resourceful. And I know this won't hold you long, even now I can feel you starting to break it."

She nuzzled against his neck, "To have a man as strong as you at my side…It's been centuries since I found a man that could turn my head." She stopped nuzzling him though she still held him close. "But, you are not for me. You have a long road ahead and people you have yet to meet." She stroked his cheek gently and sighed sounding almost disappointed. As he shook off the spell he tried to pull from her grip and found himself unable to overpower her.

Her voice was at his ear again, she pressed her lips to it and her voice was almost sweet when she spoke again. She released his ponytail and let her fingers trail down his cheek again. "Sweet dreams, my prince, we'll meet again, but for now, I can't have you interfering."

Anders was falling and falling and falling. All he knew was darkness and silence. Where was the witch, what had she done to him? He could feel nothing, not air or his clothing or even Flemeth who had held him in a mockery of a lover. His mind felt clouded and he could feel it shutting down.

He struggled against it, whatever was going on he was losing consciousness rapidly. He tried to cast a rejuvenation to wake himself up, but nothing happened. He tried a heal, perhaps he had a concussion, perhaps she had struck him. Again nothing, he could not even contact his spirit of compassion for help. And like his eyes, his mind was soon aware of nothing as he lost his battle.


	56. Chapter 56

**Mother Dearest**

Sareyna felt a wave of nausea wash over her as a deep cold bit into her skin. She gritted her teeth and turned slowly, seeing the entire Keep rendered immobile with the exception of Flemeth, tall and proud and almost regal in her unusual armor. She was walking towards Sareyna with a slow roll to her hips and a fluid grace that made it seem almost as if she was floating.

"Warden Commander, we keep meeting, I am beginning to enjoy these odd little intimacies with you." Her smile widened as she looked around the Keep. "Perhaps you would like to reconsider my previous offer and spare your friends?"

"You know the answer to that already." Sareyna replied evenly, not letting her riled emotions show on her face.

Flemeth nodded, and for a moment Sareyna thought she was going to leave it at that, would leave her alone and they could get on to the battle before them. But Flemeth shifted to the side, her arm extending back towards the Keep, "Before you answer, maybe you should take another look. I won't be taken by surprise again."

Pain and anger swept through Sareyna when she saw Anders' crumpled form on the bottom of the steps. She headed for him at a run and Flemeth raised a hand, erecting a barrier of energy stopping Sareyna in her tracks. Sareyna snarled at the witch no longer caring about showing her emotions. "I'll gut you myself for touching him."

Flemeth flickered out of sight and Sareyna followed the sound of her laughter. She appeared again next to Zevran. "And your assassin lover?" She laughed again, "I can still smell you clinging to his skin you needy thing." Flemeth circled Zevran slowly and Sareyna felt her heart thumping harder in her chest.

"Leave him alone, it's me you need to deal with." Sareyna snarled at the witch.

Flemeth shook her head, almost looking sad. "You think your lover would not fight until his last breath to save your son?" She caressed his cheek, "No, I think he would fight even harder than you, the mother who can barely stand to hold him." She turned her full attention to Sareyna, "Just give the boy to me."

Sareyna shook her head, she swallowed past a lump in her throat, her heart ached. She had no idea what Flemeth would do to Zevran and it scared her beyond words but she could not turn Trelain over to this monster. "No." It was barely audible.

Flemeth nodded and her fingers trailed across Zevran's eyes. "Let's see how fierce your assassin is without his sight then."

Sareyna stifled a sob; Flemeth knew just the right buttons to push. Sareyna felt her resolve straining, Flemeth was hurting all the men she cared for. Anders crumpled form on the steps didn't move and she was terrified that Flemeth had just killed him rather than face him. And Zevran, her sweet Zev, he would smile and tell her it was alright, but to not be able to see the world would be torture for him.

She almost wanted to close her eyes herself when the witch moved lightening quick across the field to stand behind Alistair. Alistair her knight, her love, she felt tears in her eyes. "Please," she pleaded knowing it was useless. She was not sure she could choose Trelain over Alistair. Alistair who had stood beside her even when she was at her worst and had ultimately saved her from self destruction. "Please, leave him alone."

Flemeth's smile became predatory. "You know how to save him. All I want is my brother. Is one life too much to ask in exchange for all of those you love?"

Sareyna looked at the ground, already accepting that she would lose Alistair too because that was how her life worked. All those she loved would suffer and die, her love was poison. But as she had done with Howe, she would take her vengeance from the witch one way or another. "I want you to remember my name, witch. I want you to remember my face. For I am your death, I promise you will die at my hands."

Flemeth nodded becoming oddly solemn, "I will remember your face, Sareyna Theirin."

Sareyna closed her eyes and waited. She didn't have long to wait, Alistair's blood curdling scream rang through the air moments later. Sareyna clenched her eyes tight for a moment and let a single sob loose as Alistair continued to scream. She opened her eyes and saw him curled into a ball on the ground clenching the sides of his head and screaming.

She scanned around her for Flemeth but saw nothing. Suddenly, the courtyard erupted into movement. There was a cluster of warriors who rapidly stepped away from Alistair's screaming writhing form. Whitney stepped forward and knelt at his side. On the other side Zevran had stepped back to lean against a wall being very quiet.

Looking back at Whitney Sareyna snapped, "Leave him. She's here, keep your eyes peeled." She turned and made her way over to Zevran near the wall.

He looked up at her, with unseeing eyes and smiled, "Querida, I am fine. Give me a moment to find my bearings."

"I'm so sorry, Zev."

"Shh, it is alright. I can fight without my sight, it just takes more concentration." He reached out for her blindly and when he found her pulled her close and kissed her a little awkwardly. When he broke free he cocked his head, "Is that my Tesoro?"

Sareyna nodded before she remembered that he couldn't see her. "It is, I do not know what she did to him but he will not be able to help us fight her. She did something to Anders too. He's at the bottom of the Keep steps."

"Then go to him, I am fine."

"Liar," she whispered her heart aching.

"Anders needs you." He gave her a smile.

She turned away from him, unable to look at that smile. She scanned around looking for Flemeth again and when she didn't see her she moved quickly towards the Keep where Cearo was already leaning over Anders. She looked up when Sareyna knelt next to her.

"He's alive but unconscious I have been unable to wake him even with magic. Whatever did this to him is very powerful. I fear he will remain like this until whatever did this releases him or until we can find a stronger magic to reverse it."

Sareyna nodded, she was grateful in a way. Flemeth had completely incapacitated two of her men, but had left them alive. And she had slowed Zevran, but Sareyna knew he would fight her even still. So far she had truly lost no one. But she didn't fool herself; there was every chance they would all die when the witch showed herself again.

The people in the courtyard looked around uneasily, the wait, not to mention three senior Wardens out of commission making them all anxious. Alistair's screams could still be heard ringing through the courtyard. Sareyna pushed aside the ache and pain at hearing his screams and focused on her anger instead.

"Who's the one vying for time now?" She shouted into the air. Only Alistair's agonized screams answered her.

* * *

"See how men weaken her?" The voice was a hiss in Morrigan's ear.

Morrigan closed her eyes and tried to tune out Alistair's screams, they were breaking her heart. "Take me mother, leave them alone."

"I tried to save you from this weakness your whole life. Yet here you stand next to a man who has made you weak. He is the reason you will fail." With that the voice was gone and Morrigan was grateful, she looked to Nathaniel but he didn't seem to have noticed anything. Then again, her mother had somehow incapacitated both Anders and Alistair with no one seeing her and it appeared there was something wrong with Zevran as well.

She sent her thoughts out like a shot hoping her mother could hear them. _"You're wrong mother, he is the reason we will win. He's the reason I have already won." _As old as her mother might be, as powerful as she had become there was one thing in life she did not understand, either because she had forgotten, or because she had never truly known it. Love was worth it, was worth everything. Cynic though Morrigan was, she had found a peace and contentment in her relationship with Nathaniel.

She looked at him again and realized she had never said the words. She stepped close to him and took his hand gently; it might be her last chance. "I love you, Nathaniel."

Nathaniel looked at her clearly surprised, but then he smiled. "I love you too, Morrigan."

Feeling a little better that even if she died she had at least been able to admit to him how she really felt she stepped away and looked around scanning for her mother again as she released Nathaniel's hand.

It came fast when it happened. Flemeth suddenly appeared in the middle of the courtyard and quickly shifted into a dragon. She belched fire and smoke at those around her, there were a few muffled screams but people were mostly able to get out of the way. Her body was slow and lumbering in the small space of the courtyard.

Morrigan watched her as she slowly advanced on Sareyna. She heard an angry shout from beside her and turned just in time to see Nathaniel firing arrows one after another into Flemeth's thick hide. At his angry shout others in the courtyard seemed to be suddenly spurred into action. Warriors began hacking away at her while the rogues darted in and away again in the blink of an eye, poisoned blades plunged into her repeatedly.

From around Morrigan magic began flowing of all sorts and more arrows rained from above. Morrigan felt removed from it all, like she wasn't really standing there in the courtyard but watching from outside of the walls, somehow able to see through them. Even Zevran was attacking, his head cocked, ears twitching at the sounds before he would throw a flask with unerring precision.

And still she couldn't make herself attack, couldn't decide what to cast, couldn't decide where to hit Flemeth. Perhaps the battle in the Fade had unnerved her, but right now she felt very vulnerable without Anders. It had been him that had nearly killed Flemeth not any of them. Without Anders this whole fiasco might be an exercise in futility that would only end up in large scale death.

Suddenly, she shot forward, fear and anger propelling her. Her mind felt clear, like a cloud that had been over her eyes for years suddenly slipped away. Anders was so powerful because his mother had been a powerful mage and because he was a Warden. He spent hours practicing magic until he was exhausted, discovering his limits and then pushing them.

Well Morrigan's mother was even more powerful than Anders' and Morrigan was a Warden as well. And she had never been restricted to what she could cast and how large like Anders had been all those years in the tower. No, if Anders was a powerful mage that had nearly been able to kill her mother, she should be able to succeed.

That thought in mind she jumped into the air and transformed into hawk, it was time to level the playing field a little. Diving from above while Flemeth was preoccupied with the warriors who were concentrating their attacks on one leg she plunged her hooked beak into Flemeth's eye tearing it apart. She was rewarded with an anguished scream from the dragon and Flemeth's head whipping around trying to find her.

Morrigan quickly flew to the battlements transforming back as she did so. As soon as her feet touched the stone she began to cast a spell she had learned on her own. A spell she had sneaked a peak at as a child and practiced on poor undeserving animals. She hadn't used it in years, but once learned a spell was always there just waiting to be used.

Green and red energy swirled from her hands aimed straight for Flemeth's head. It took Flemeth just a moment too long to locate where Morrigan had landed. As the energy was just about to hit her she let out a low growl followed by howls of pain. With her brain feeling like it was burning Flemeth wasn't able to fully hold the dragon form.

As she fought trying to hold to the form Morrigan jumped off the battlement turning into a hawk again. She dove damaging Flemeth's other eye. Flemeth howled again and lost the dragon form completely. Morrigan was flying to land on the battlement on the other side of the courtyard when she was hit from behind with a spell yanking her immediately out of animal form. She hit the stone wall of the Keep and fell almost twenty feet.

Morrigan laid there choking on her own blood. If she could she would have laughed, she had managed to cripple Flemeth but she would be robbed of victory by a small oversight. When she wasn't a dragon Flemeth was free to cast other spells, she was afterall a witch. And because she had rushed rashly into attacking her she was now dying, broken and bleeding. It served her right.

A tickle in her chest grew and grew and she fought down the urge to cough as best as she could, concentrating instead on the sounds in the courtyard. Flemeth was clearly casting but she was still getting hit plenty, her cries could be heard across the entire Keep. The spell that Morrigan had pulled off should last almost five minutes before dissipating and leaving Flemeth able to think clearly. Hopefully, the others would have been able to kill her by then.

She coughed and felt blood spitting from her mouth. She closed her eyes; she was tired of staring at the sky and hurt too much to turn her head. An eternity later she felt cool hands touch her neck. Morrigan opened her eyes to see Cearo kneeling over her.

"Lie still now. I think I can save you."

"Don't bother." Morrigan croaked out.

"Shush, if we're going to beat her we're going to need you and that fancy spell of yours. I've never seen anything like it, not even from Anders and he knows all sorts of magic I don't."

"Anders would never use that spell." She closed her eyes as Cearo's magic began seeping into her, mending her broken bones, closing tears in arteries, healing damaged organs. It felt good but Morrigan felt so tired, so very tired. All she wanted to do was drift away, away from the pain and the noise.

"Stay with me Morrigan, you need to stay awake. Why wouldn't Anders use that spell?"

"Because he's a good man." She smiled a little but didn't open her eyes. Wouldn't he be surprised if he had heard her say that. "He's a very good man."

"But Anders would use it to save you." Cearo didn't sound like she completely believed it herself.

Morrigan understood, "You mean he would use it to save 'Reyna or Ali . But no, he wouldn't. The only point of that spell is agony. It doesn't kill, once it wears off you're in the same place you started in. Anders only uses offensive spells to kill things that are trying to kill him," she paused a moment, "us." She added definitively. In retrospect, Anders would go out of his way to save any of them because he _was_ a good man. Not just Ali or 'Reyna, but any of them could count on him. She had done so for months and he had nearly succeeded and had come very close to killing himself to save Morrigan from Flemeth.

Cearo was silent and Morrigan was glad. She had been trying not to think about what Anders had nearly done to save her and Trelain. She had seen him in the Fade using his very life essence to continue fueling his spell. As he became weaker she had wondered if she would be able to stop him. Was she a decent enough person to put herself back in danger to save someone else? She still didn't know the answer and hoped she would never need to find out.

"There, let me help you up."

Morrigan opened her eyes and saw Cearo standing and holding out a hand to her. She shoved aside the brief thought that told her she could never be that selfless because she didn't want to believe it. Instead, she took Cearo's hand and turned her attention back to the battle raging in the courtyard.

"It's not perfect; you're going to hurt, a lot. But, you can still fight. We'll fix you properly once we kill this nightmare." Cearo nodded to her then disappeared back across the courtyard.

Morrigan gathered herself. That was the most she had ever heard Cearo say, she was rather silent on the whole. Morrigan stretched to experiment on what her range of motion might be. Content she knew her limits she moved out to where she had a clear shot at Flemeth who was casting and stumbling, bleeding profusely. She was hurt, but Morrigan knew it would take a lot more, take something drastic to kill her. For now, she could slow her down again.

She pulled on the magic inside of her, she pulled it hard bringing it to the surface quickly for her spell, she would deal with the repercussions later. She bit her bottom lip to keep herself from crying out as the spell coiled tight and fast then sprang from her, zipping across the courtyard and hitting Flemeth from behind.

Morrigan was ecstatic to see her stagger forward and clutch her head. She fell to the ground where she was immediately stabbed by many blades. Morrigan saw Sareyna try to decapitate Flemeth again, but when her head should have been severed the sword slid right through her like it was smoke. Morrigan was frustrated, even with the spell Flemeth had it together enough to prevent a truly fatal wound.

She crossed over to where Anders still lay crumpled on the bottom steps. To reassure herself she made sure he was still breathing then stood up. "Come on Anders, what would you have done, the unravel won't work here." She let her mind slip through all the new spells she had been learning with Anders. There had to be something that would fix this, that would kill Flemeth.

Morrigan cast a few spells to keep Flemeth busy and off balance. But even blind, in agony and bleeding profusely she was proving to be more than a match for the soldiers and Wardens. Morrigan ignored all the people on the ground. She didn't know if they were dead or alive and didn't have time to worry about it.

Maybe she needed to do something Anders would never do. She took her dagger and sliced into the soft flesh of her inner forearm. She felt the blood swirling around her, a raw power stronger than she could be in a lifetime. Holding her hand out she cast a spell she had only read about but she needed it now.

She fell to her knees as she delved into Flemeth's mind. The agony she had cast at Flemeth filling her as well through the connection. It had to be in there somewhere, the secret, the key. Whatever she was she had to have a weakness, had to have something she was afraid of. Deeper and deeper she delved, ignoring the detritus that Flemeth tried to throw at her to keep her out as she fought a battle against those attacking her, the agony in her head and now Morrigan's assault.

She could only get so far; she needed more power, more magic to go deeper. She glanced around quickly and saw Nathaniel pulling an arrow from his thigh. Morrigan closed her eyes and murmured to herself. "Forgive me." She pulled on him, on the blood in his wound pulling it from him to fuel her spell.

She couldn't even feel the outside world anymore. Flemeth's mind was like a maze full of false starts and dead ends. It was taking her far longer to get to the core, the center. She knew the secret she needed was there. She could feel it, a tiny ball of fear in the center; she just had to find out how to get to it.

* * *

Sareyna glanced back towards the Keep steps. She heard yelling coming from there and the timbre was very different from the rest of the screams and yelling around her. She saw Naveen shaking Morrigan and screaming at her. Sareyna had noticed the blood magic hitting Flemeth, enveloping her head, but had not thought much about it. Everyone knew Morrigan was a blood mage.

But now she saw that Morrigan was not only using her blood but was using Nathaniel's. She headed for the steps at a dead run. "Morrigan stop, stop it you're killing him." Cearo was over Nathaniel who lay still and pale crumpled about fifteen feet away from Morrigan. Cearo was pouring healing magic into him, but Sareyna knew from personal experience magic couldn't do much about blood loss.

Morrigan was on her knees, her yellow eyes totally covered with a completely opaque film of blood. She was pale as well, the area around her lips was beginning to turn blue. Sareyna reached them and Naveen was screaming for Morrigan to stop as well. His hands were on her shoulders shaking her.

He looked up Sareyna, "Help me; she's going to kill them both."

"Why won't she stop?" She stared at Morrigan horrified by what she was doing.

"I don't know, she doesn't respond at all it's like she can't see or hear us." He waived his hand in front of Morrigan's eyes as if in demonstration.

Sareyna knelt in front of Morrigan trying to decide how best to stop the spell. She reached for the hand casting the spell and Naveen snapped at her.

"Don't touch her hand; she'll just start using your blood as well."

Sareyna slapped Morrigan lightly, Morrigan barely responded only turning back to look in Flemeth's direction. Sareyna noticed she was mumbling something. She leaned close wondering if it would help.

"Close, it's close. I'm getting close, I will know your secret, I will learn how to kill you." Then she started again, her voice soft almost completely drowned out from the noise in the courtyard.

Naveen shook her again, "Come on Morrigan, you love him and you're killing him, you're killing yourself, it's not worth it." He looked up at Sareyna, "Tell her, tell her it's not worth it."

Sareyna nodded and slapped Morrigan harder but the spell kept pulling their blood and Morrigan still didn't respond. Sareyna looked back towards where Wardens and Soldiers were still fighting Flemeth. The witch looked worse for wear but Sareyna knew she was far from being defeated.

Looking back to Morrigan Sareyna gripped both sides of her face and got very close to her looking into her odd blood covered eyes. She raised her voice hoping Morrigan would somehow hear her. "As your Commander, your sister-in-law and your friend I am ordering you to stop this spell. You will not kill another Warden and you will not kill yourself. You will not let your insane witch of a mother win this way."

No response.

Sareyna tightened her grip and shook Morrigan's head violently back and forth. She was screaming this top, "Stop it, damn it Morrigan stop this right fucking now. We need you, we need Nathaniel, stop this spell right now before it's too late."

Morrigan's eyes suddenly cleared, "I have it I know her secret." She laughed as she began to stand up almost completely disregarding Sareyna at first. "I need Trelain."

There was a loud scream behind them and then a pulse of energy that knocked the people around Flemeth away from her. She turned her head, unseeing with her eyes so damaged but she smiled gruesomely. "Your friend told you to stop; you should have listened to her." She paused, her smile melting, "Good-bye Morrigan." Flemeth flicked her hand and Morrigan's eyes rolled back showing only the whites and then her body collapsed.

Flemeth let out another pulse of energy, this one much weaker than the previous to push her attackers away. Her voice carried clear in the courtyard and she barely reacted to the arrows and magic that were hitting her again and again. "She's in the Fade, dislodged from her body. You'll never find her and her body will shrivel and shrink and die starved while in the Fade her mind will wander aimlessly, no idea where it came from or where it's going. She'll go mad, dying a little everyday until she fades away into nothing."

Another pulse knocked her would be attackers back, but only a little this time, she was clearly weakening. She raised her voice once more, "I'll bring her back in exchange for the boy," she turned to Nathaniel's pale and still body, apparently knowing what happened though she could not see. "If you still want her."

She dissolved into smoke and disappeared.


	57. Chapter 57

**Triage**

Sareyna dropped to her knees and bent over Morrigan. She couldn't look at the courtyard just yet, couldn't see who they had lost. He mind was focused on Morrigan. Cearo came over and knelt next to her. She shook her head as she looked up at Sareyna.

"She's still alive but just barely." She turned to look at Nathaniel, "He's the same. We need Anders, I can't help them."

Sareyna looked up, suddenly remembering Anders, Zevran and Alistair. While they were battling Alistair's screams mingled with the others of the battle. But now that it stopped she realized he was no longer screaming. She saw Zevran already at Alistair's side, sitting beside him and helping him to take off his helmet and gauntlets.

She wanted to go to them to make sure they were alright, but they had each other at the moment and they seemed to be alright. Moving the short way to the steps Anders was crumpled up and as still as death. She brushed her hand across his forehead and he didn't stir. She caressed his cheek and still no response.

She leaned down so her lips were nearly touching his forehead, "Anders if you don't wake up right now I'll never forgive you." She kissed his forehead, "Please Anders, come back from wherever you are, we all still need you."

She bent and kissed his cheek and took his hand into hers. "I need you Anders, I need my friend. Come back to me." She waited a few moments but when nothing happened she laid her head down on top of his, her cheek pressed against his cheek. "I'm going to kill her for what she did to you I swear it. But right now I need my healer and my friend."

She felt tears welling in her eyes, afraid Flemeth had done to him what she had done to Morrigan. She struggled to pull him into a sitting position and wrapped her arms around him, her head on his shoulder. "Not him, he's finally free, don't take that from him now. Give him back please." She sobbed into his shoulder knowing her words were useless. There was no Maker; there were no gods, just self important humans and elves playing at being gods and using the rest of the world for their amusement.

And even if Flemeth had heard her plea she doubted the witch would give him back. Anders had nearly killed her afterall. She felt a hand on her back but didn't move. It was just Alistair trying to comfort her.

Zev knelt next to her, "Let us take him inside, Querida."

Sareyna shook her head, still not looking at them. "Get Morrigan and Nathaniel into the Keep. Start bringing beds and cots into the main hall and take the wounded there. Have the dead separated into Wardens and Soldiers so we can give each their own rites and remember them properly. Send Oghren to get wood and send some people with him." She sniffled, her tears still falling on Anders' shoulder as she held him against her.

"Anyone who can do any healing at all or knows anything about herbalism is to report to the main hall to Cearo and she will have them do what she needs." She took a deep breath willing the tears to stop or for Alistair and Zevran to leave her alone to grieve. She felt like she was losing two people at once with Anders gone. The memory of Rory and losing him and not being able to cremate him, not being able to mourn him properly was making her ache all over again.

"We're going to need food, get Shannon to take care of that. Trelain can stay with Eveleen and Sloan now until we're finished." She waited for about thirty seconds and when they didn't leave she got a little ugly, "Well get going, there is a lot to be done."

"'Reyna," Ali's voice was soft.

"I'll be fine; I just need to do this my way."

After a few more moments they both moved away from her. When she felt they were far enough away she picked Anders up, struggling a bit with his weight and carried him into the Keep. She made her way slowly up the stairs. He was heavier than he looked, must be because of how tall he was. And being as tall as he was it was hard to maneuver him without smacking his feet on something.

Three servants offered to help on her way down the hall to Anders' room. She impatiently sent them on their way. When she finally got him into his room and kicked the door shut she leaned against it for a moment collecting herself. She pushed off the door and carried him to the bed laying him awkwardly on it. His head was on the bed and most of his torso but the legs were another matter.

She pushed her hip against his torso to stop him from falling and bent down to pick up his legs. Then she pushed him over a bit so he wasn't right on the edge of the bed. Taking a few deep breaths she pulled off her gloves and began to take off his boots. She couldn't help but smile a little, Anders loved those boots, kept telling her they were Wade's best work ever.

She set the first one on the floor an ache deep in her chest before she began to remove the second one. Once she had the second boot off she went to work on his coat. She shook her head at all of the buckles and the odd blue green of it. She wasn't even sure where Wade had found a dye that color. Slowly, she worked it off of him.

When he was down to his skin tight Archdemon trousers and his long light tunic she began to work the covers down lifting his body a little here and there as she pulled them down so she could cover him up. When she was done she sat down on the other side of the bed indulging herself in memories recent and ancient.

Anders had bragged repeatedly about how many offers and lingering looks he got in his Archdemon trousers. And a lifetime ago Rory used to sit with her and they would laugh about girls that tripped all over themselves when he smiled at them. Rory was no Anders, he was too much of a gentleman for that, but he was good looking and sweet. The girls liked him because of his charm and his wit.

She closed her eyes and saw the training field in Highever. Rory stood opposite her, sword in hand, in his old battered practice armor. His eyes had gone wide when he saw her walk into the ring with two swords. Then he chuckled, "And you said I was compensating. I think someone has some problems with envy. Careful 'Reyna envy is a sin, maybe you should be in the chapel."

She had glared at him and dropped into position. She had him on the ground quickly, she had been practicing. Rory constantly beating her because of his superior reach had pissed her off so she had switched from daggers to swords so she could beat him. Rory had been pleased and they spent the afternoon relearning how to spar with each other.

Sareyna opened her eyes and looked at Anders again. She was surprised that he just looked like he was sleeping. Trusting everyone to take care of everything she had assigned to them she laid down beside Anders. Once again she was holding vigil over his still form. She stayed with him until Alistair came to the room.

"I knew I would find you in here. Naveen said you carried Anders up here by yourself. How in the world did you manage that?"

She gave him a small smile and a shrug. "I wanted to take care of him. How are Nathaniel and Morrigan?"

Alistair shook his head, "Morrigan's body seems healthy enough but she's not waking either." He took a deep breath through his nose, "Cearo's not sure she can save Nathaniel. I think they need to see you down there."

"Why, I failed them all again."

"Just go down there, I'll watch over him." Alistair moved to the bed and sat down beside her. "They really do need you."

She laid her head on his shoulder for a moment. "I don't know what to do, I'm a terrible Commander. And Flemeth, she hurt all of you and I couldn't even stop it. What am I doing, why are these people following me? I'm going to get them all killed."

Alistair took her hand, "You saved Ferelden and ultimately Thedas from the Darkspawn and the Archdemon. When it comes to big battles you're going to lose people. There is nothing you could have done about it. You couldn't have stopped her from hurting any of us including me. No one expects you to. What they expect is for you to be brave and tell them it will go better next time. Tell them you have faith in them."

She picked up her head and smiled at him, "They should have made you Commander. You would be so much better at it than I am. I feel so weepy all the time lately. Although, today I think my anger is slowly gaining the upper hand."

"Good."

She cocked a brow, "Good?"

"Yes, when you're angry is when you come up with your best plans. When you're angry you're willing to do whatever it takes to achieve your goal. It's why you're the better Commander; you're willing to do what it takes." He touched her cheek lightly.

"I will kill her for what she has done to us," she looked at Anders, "to him."

"I know you will, now go make the people in the Main Hall believe that too."

Sareyna stood and gave him a kiss, "I'd be lost without you. You know that don't you?"

He just smiled again and gave her a light push so she would leave the room. She went reluctantly, Alistair always knew how to talk to her, how to get her far enough out of her own emotions to help the people in her care. She smiled; she wasn't sure who was luckier to have him, her or the rest of the Wardens. Either way everyone benefited from Alistair's quiet unassuming nature and his empathy.

* * *

She reached the main hall and was taken aback by what she saw. There were beds and cots lining the whole room and they were all occupied. There was groaning and occasional weeping filling the hall. Servants, Wardens and even Varel were moving down the aisles of patients all helping.

She glanced about and found Cearo. She was followed by a servant girl carrying a tray with at least a dozen flasks on them, about half of them empty and the rest filled with lyrium. She slowly made her way to where she was standing above Sigrun pouring magic into the dwarf who was moaning quietly.

"How bad is it, can I help?"

Cearo had her hair pulled back into a hasty ponytail, for once keeping it out of her face. Her scar that on a normal day drew stares went pretty much unnoticed in light of a room filled with those who were possibly dying. She looked exhausted and was covered with sweat.

She shook her head as she looked at Sareyna, not stopping the flow of magic. "It's really bad." She sighed, "I'm trying but I'm just about used up." She gestured towards Naveen with her head, "He's trying but he only knows the most basic of healing."

"How many?" Sareyna asked her stomach twisted in knots.

"Too many, we lost Druce," she closed her eyes briefly then looked down at Sigrun, the flow of magic finally stopping. She knelt down next to her, "I'm sorry, I know it still hurts but you won't die. We'll do what we can for the pain."

Sigrun nodded, "Go, I'm alright. Thank you."

Cearo looked up and scanned the room.

"What are you looking for?" Sareyna looked around trying to find what she was looking for.

Cearo chuckled, "You wouldn't believe me." But she suddenly moved forward next to a soldier who was ashen and waxy looking. Pounce was curled up next to him. As soon as Cearo started pouring energy into the soldier Pounce jumped down and ran off.

"What in the world?"

Cearo chuckled a little bitterly, "See I said you wouldn't believe me. I was having Naveen triage them for me but when every person he sent me to had Anders' cat curled up with them I decided to just follow him and have Naveen work on the injuries he could handle." The magic pouring from her fingers started dimming. "Damn," she cursed quietly before grabbing another flask and downing the contents.

"Are you sure you should be drinking so many of those? Anders said is messes with mages to drink so much."

Cearo's gaze went stony as her healing magic started flowing again. "And what do you suggest, that I let these people die?"

Sareyna shook her head, "No, thank you Cearo, put me to work."

Cearo seemed to calm, "Honestly, we need the Lieutenant back here." A soft smile touched her lips, "Never would have figured he knew so much about herbs. We need him to help some of the worse patients manage pain."

"I'll get him, who do I send him too?"

"Whitney first, she's in agony, she was badly burned. Then there are a couple of soldiers near the bookcases on the far side of the room. They were both crushed, I healed their organs but not their bones, I need to conserve my strength. When he's done there he needs to go to Elswyth, also badly burned though not as bad as Whitney." Cearo closed her eyes clearly trying to remember everyone.

"Oh, uhm Captain Garavel."

"Is he alright?"

Cearo nodded, "For now, though if Anders doesn't wake soon he might never walk again. His whole lower body was crushed. I healed all of the life threatening damage but nothing else." She suddenly scanned the room looking anxious, "There was another soldier, blonde hair but it's matted with blood, I don't remember where he is, he's an archer, got knocked off the wall." Her eyes kept scanning as she continued healing the soldier. "Dammit where is he?"

"It's alright, we'll find him."

Cearo nodded, "And then Sigrun, lots of broken bones and internal damage, I fixed most of that. And," she nodded down to the soldier she was working on "then this guy."

"I'll be back." Sareyna started heading back to the stairs.

"When you come back I need you to start doing field dressings. Anything that needs to be cleaned and covered but isn't life threatening."

"Will do," she called back.

Shannon caught her near the bottom of the stairs. "We have broth and soft foods ready for everyone. I told the staff to start getting it to those who were well enough to eat."

Sareyna nodded and started climbing the stairs but was stopped by Shannon again.

"Is it true about Anders? He's like Morrigan?"

Sareyna was surprised by the tears in Shannon's eyes. "It seems so, we're not sure but he won't wake up."

Shannon quickly brushed a tear away, "Him and that wonderfully strange cat of his," she shook her head with a little smile. "They're always in the kitchen underfoot. Him feeding fish to that cat and telling me dirty jokes." Her smile faded and her eyes cleared a bit, "If there's something I can do to help that boy, you tell me. My girls can take care of the kitchen without me."

Sareyna felt a bit of relief, maybe she couldn't stay with Anders, but she didn't need to leave him alone. "Would you sit with him, keep an eye on him?"

Shannon looked a little nervous, "What do I do?"

Sareyna shrugged, "Make sure he keeps breathing, come get us if it seems like something's wrong. Maybe talk to him."

Shannon took a deep breath and stood a little taller, which would have looked comical on her small frame in any other circumstance, "Yes, ma'am I will gladly stay with him."

Sareyna nodded, "Good, thank you. I didn't want him alone." She headed up the stairs with Shannon in tow.

"Why isn't he down there with everyone else?"

Sareyna tilted her head a little in thought, it was a valid question. Why wasn't he with everyone else? "I really don't know Shannon, I just…It felt right for him to be in his room."

Shannon nodded sagely but didn't respond. When they reached Anders' room Sareyna pushed open the door. Alistair was still perched on the bed and there were several more blankets on the bed and the fire was roaring in the fire place. Sareyna swallowed hard.

"What happened?"

"Nothing, he was just getting chilled. His skin was cold to the touch so I wanted to warm him up. His breathing hasn't changed at all." He gave Shannon a small smile, "Hello, Shannon."

She nodded, "Hello Lieutenant."

His lips tightened a bit, Sareyna knew that it bothered him when Shannon called him that. He was quite fond of her, honestly, they all were she had kind of become like grandmotherly figure to most of them. She had too many other things to think about today though and she discarded the stray thought.

"Shannon is going to sit with Anders. We need you downstairs."

Alistair looked at Shannon, "Are you sure?"

"It would be an honor." She smiled at him and he seemed to relax.

"Alright, just make sure he stays warm, please."

"Of course, now get down there and take care of our people." She shooed Alistair off the bed and towards the door. "Anders and I will be just fine."

Alistair followed Sareyna downstairs as she explained what Cearo needed. He nodded each time, turning pale several times as Sareyna related each patient's injuries. When they reached the bottom of the stairs Alistair interrupted her, "Where is Pen?"

Sareyna shook her head, "I saw him wandering around in here earlier."

"He's not hurt?"

"He didn't seem to be."

"Good, if you see him send him upstairs. If something happens to Anders, if she comes back I don't want him defenseless."

Sareyna nodded, "Alright, I'm going to start cleaning and dressing wounds. Can you help the others?"

Alistair nodded, "Yeah, there are a few things I can put together to help with the pain."

Sareyna crossed the room to where she saw a pile of bandages some hot water and rags and several tins of comfrey-calendula salve. She grabbed the supplies she needed and started looking through the hall to find her first patient.

* * *

Alistair knelt down next to Whitney trying to ignore the smell of her burnt flesh and the sight of her blistered and blackened skin. She had almost no hair left and what was left was burned and frazzled. Alistair wet his lips, "Whitney, can you hear me?"

Whitney moaned in response.

"I need to sit you up a little so you can drink this, do you think you can do that?"

Another moan.

Alistair helped her as gently as he could into a sitting position, his stomach turning when her heavily bandaged arm flopped useless to the side a bit too far. It was clearly not completely intact; he picked it up carefully and laid it gently in her lap, hoping it would help ease the pain.

Reaching to the floor he picked up the flask and began slowly pouring the liquid into her mouth. Whitney struggled and gurgled in pain as it hit her damaged throat but she was able to swallow most of it. He laid her back down and watched her for a few minutes before going back to start another batch of the potent brew.

As a servant passed him he called out to him, "Hey, I need you for a moment."

The servant stopped in his tracks and turned quickly back to Alistair. "Yes, ser, how can I help?"

"I need a few of you to do a sweep of the Keep, I want any potions you find as well as any herbal ingredients brought down here and placed on this table. Do not go into Zevran's mixing room, there's nothing we need in there." He was about to let the boy go when he had another thought.

"And send someone to the merchants and artisans in the Keep have them bring all their potions and supplies here as well, tell them the Lieutenant says they will be compensated."

"Yes, ser." The boy took off a near run and Alistair was worried he would knock someone over but the boy was nimble and escaped the room without upsetting anything.

* * *

As Sareyna worked her way around the room she assessed the rest of the injuries to the Wardens, trying to keep them in her head. Varel had suggested it, telling her he was trying to keep track of the soldiers and their injuries. He had not been seriously wounded during the battle just a bit bruised and banged up. Sareyna was thankful for his help as he too was applying field dressings to patients.

She found Oghren lying on his side on a cot a puddle of sick next to it. "Are you alright Oghren?"

He looked up at her with unfocused eyes. "Aye, it's my head. It won't kill me, just can't fall asleep."

"Are you sure?" She wasn't too sure; his normally ruddy complexion was an ashy grey.

"Not the first time ol' Oghren took a knock on the noggin. I'll be alright boss, go bandage up some of them bleeders down there." He gestured towards the front of the room.

There were indeed several people bleeding there, including Skyla. "As soon as I spot someone I'll have them come clean up the floor."

"Don't bother; there will be another puddle before they're done most likely." He closed his eyes and waived her off, "They need you more."

She moved down the line eyeing Skyla, but there were a few soldiers who were bleeding worse than she was so she attended to them first. When she reached Skyla she was lying on her side, the top of her armor sitting on the floor. She was holding her hands to the opposite side. Sareyna settled herself on the floor.

"How are you Skyla? Let me see the wound."

Skyla moved her hands, "I'm pissed that overgrown lizard wrecked my new armor."

Sareyna couldn't suppress a grin, she needed it. She peeled Skyla's tunic up, it was sticking to the wound. "Here, I need to get this off you."

Skyla pushed herself up and helped to tug off the tunic, giving a little grimace as it pulled free from her wound. It started bleeding again and Sareyna worked quickly to clean it out the best she could before trying to staunch the bleeding. Thankfully, it stopped fairly quickly.

"Looks like a nasty gash."

Skyla shook her head, "I've had a lot worse, this is nothing. Bandage me up; I'll be good as new."

Sareyna checked the wound carefully, it was still weeping blood slowly, but that was it. It did look ugly but seemed to be rather shallow. Sareyna opened the tin of salve and slathered it over the cut before tightly bandaging it. She had to have Skyla sit up so she could wind the bandages around her middle to keep them in place. "There you go."

"Good," she pushed to her feet, "Put me to work."

Sareyna shook her head, "You go get the ok from Cearo, if she says you can help have her give you something to do."

Skyla nodded and headed off to find Cearo. Sareyna sat back on her heels for a minute. She was getting tired. After fighting Flemeth and carrying Anders and now patching people together she felt like her eye lids weighed two stone a piece. She let them drift shut for a moment and smiled when she smelled leather and spice a few moments later.

"Zev" She opened her eyes and looked up at him.

"Querida, are you alright?"

She pushed to her feet, "Just tired, how are your eyes?"

"They hurt a little and my vision's not completely back to normal but it's getting better all the time." He pushed a few stray hairs off her forehead.

"Where have you been?"

"I went to get wood. Oghren was in no shape."

"Thank you, how many?" She hadn't even had time to really take stock of everyone.

"Only one Warden, Druce. But nearly a dozen soldiers."

Sareyna felt as if she had been punched in the gut, "A dozen? Sweet Andraste, they died for us." She covered her eyes. "So many and we didn't even kill her, and we have a half dozen near fatalities in the Wardens." She uncovered her eyes and sighed, "What was I thinking fighting her?"

"You were protecting Morrigan and Trelain."

"Fat lot of good I did, have you seen Morrigan?" She sat on the cot Skyla had just vacated too tired, too stunned to stand.

"I have, but much of that was her own doing. You cannot blame yourself, Querida." He sat down beside her and ran his hand soothingly up and down her back.

Sareyna nodded, too tired to even argue, though she didn't agree. "Who went with you to get wood?"

Zevran furrowed his brow, "Two soldiers, Emery and Quinn. Justice and Desmod went with us too."

"So they're all alright?" Sareyna felt a little relief she had been worried about them, she hadn't seen them and no one else could remember seeing them either.

"Yes, Justice looks a little worse for wear, but still here. Desmond didn't get a scratch on him, damn archers."

"Yeah, I'm still trying to figure out how Nathaniel was hit with an arrow. Was someone's aim that far off?"

"Now that is a frightening thought. But come Querida, let us get something to eat quickly before we go help out some more. Perhaps, it will help you feel less tired." He stood, pulling her with him and steered her towards the kitchens, leaving all her wound care supplies on the cot.


	58. Chapter 58

**A Family Affair**

Zevran watched Sareyna periodically and tried to send her to bed repeatedly, but his Querida was stubborn, and he loved her for it. She wouldn't sleep until she was sure everyone was out of the woods and that those that could eat were all fed. Or at least that was what she claimed; he had a suspicion that even then he was going to need to practically drag her to bed.

And Alistair was no better. He kept mixing up potions and giving them to those who were in pain or had fairly minor injuries. His eyes had dark circles and his skin was taking on the slight pallor it did when he had pushed himself past his limits. But this was why he loved them both so much; they had such big hearts they could not bring themselves to sleep, feeling it would be abandoning those who needed them. They cared about all of the men and women in the hall.

As for himself he spent most of his time walking a slow circuit of the most critical of the patients, carrying a supply of the pain numbing potion Alistair had made up. He noticed that most of the others were avoiding Whitney, Sigrun and Elswyth. The soldiers even seemed to have difficulty with Captain Garavel.

So these were the people Zevran tried to watch over. Other than Whitney he had seen injuries far worse than these during his many years as a Crow. Poor Whitney, he wasn't sure how the poor woman was even still alive. He had helped Desmond remove her armor earlier and they had both been more than a little disturbed to realize it was melted to her skin in many places.

They had needed to have Naveen come over and try to heal the places where they ended up pulling swathes of her skin off to remove the armor. When they were done removing it Naveen had rushed outside. Zev couldn't blame the boy; he had felt ill himself seeing what had been done to the poor girl. Desmond managed to control himself and had helped to bandage her up. Naveen and Cearo both worked on her several times after that.

The only blessing was that she didn't seem to be coherent enough to realize what had happened to her. She was delirious from the trauma and the pain that Zev was sure the potions barely touched. How could they with all the damage? That beautiful face disfigured, her hair gone or burnt beyond recognition. And her pale skin red and black and weeping. He tried not to think about it.

Servants scurried around them bringing potions and herbs. Stripping down cots and remaking them as necessary. And carrying broth out to as many as could handle it. All of the soldiers that could walk and didn't need to be monitored or have more medical treatment were led back to the barracks by other soldiers.

Cearo and Naveen still worked frantically healing everyone's injuries. But their healing skills were limited and their mana had run out hours ago. They both had been drinking Lyrium like it was water. Their eyes had that over bright look to them that told you they weren't really completely there. So much Lyrium consumption led to a kind of intoxication that Zev knew was quite dangerous. But they both plugged on, at a loss for what else to do.

More than once he heard each of them muttering that they wished Anders was there. Zev understood the feeling, he had almost forgotten what the aftermath of a battle really looked like. They had all been spoiled by Anders' amazing healing abilities. He had been impressed with Wynne during the Blight; she was damn good but didn't hold a candle to Anders.

His head jerked up just then as he heard a loud clatter followed by a thud. It took him a moment to locate it, someone had fallen. When he saw Alistair running he realized it must have been Sareyna. Zev vaulted over an empty cot and shot across the hall getting there at about the same time as Alistair.

But Sareyna was already standing up and dusting herself off. "I'm alright I just tripped."

Alistair raised a skeptical eyebrow, "Really, over what?"

She laughed a little, "My own feet."

"Maybe you should rest." Zev tried prodding gently.

"I'm fine." She started picking up things from the floor scowling. "I'll have to boil these bandages all over again, dammit."

And like a sudden apparition one of the servants came and took the tray murmuring softly, "I'll take care of that, miss."

Sareyna sighed, "We're out of fresh bandages and we've been ripping apart sheets but so many of them are bleeding I don't know what we'll do."

Zev scowled for a moment, "There's still that much bleeding?"

"A lot of them are fairly minor injuries; it's just that there are so many of them. Cearo and Naveen need to concentrate their efforts elsewhere."

Zevran looked around the hall and saw Justice lingering near the far corner, out of the way but available if needed. That was perfect; he turned back to Sareyna and Alistair. "I can help with that. I'm going to have Justice bring in some flower petals from the small garden in the back, just crinkle them in your hands or a hard surface to bruise them a bit then use them as a compress on the wound under the bandage it should stop a lot of the bleeding."

Sareyna frowned, "From the garden you planted? Isn't that mostly components for poisons?"

He smiled, "And remedies."

Alistair nodded, "Thanks Zev."

Zevran didn't bother to respond he started crossing to Justice. Justice looked up as he approached and nodded in acknowledgement. "Justice, I need help if you don't mind."

"How may I be of assistance?" He intoned, his posture relaxing marginally.

"In the small garden in the back right hand corner are some orangish-yellow flowers. I need you to bring some in."

"Certainly, how many?"

Zev scanned the room, "About half?"

Justice nodded and strode from the Keep. Zevran made another circuit of the patients he was keeping an eye on, helping Whitney and Garavel both with some of the numbing potion. As he passed near Alistair he noticed the broad warrior staring blankly at the table before him for a bit before shaking his head and digging into a bag off to his right pulling a bunch of roots from it and putting them into the mortar in front of him.

Zevran asked one of the servants on their way back to the kitchens to have someone bring out two stools and take them to the table where Alistair stood as well as a second mortar and pestle. The servant nodded and scurried off. He walked over to Skyla who had been helping with bandaging wounds and was speaking with one of the soldiers who was waiting for fresh bandages.

"There won't be any bandages for a bit yet, they're being boiled now. Would you mind helping Alistair? He's having a hard time keeping up with everything." He gestured to where Alistair was working on grinding the roots.

Skyla nodded, "Alright, but I don't know anything about herbs."

"He's a good teacher." Apparently, his smile was reassuring as she turned and headed in Alistair's direction immediately.

He turned just in time to see Sareyna sway on her feet. He rushed up to her placing a gentle hand on her back steadying her. "Querida, if you insist on staying up you need to at least sit for a while."

She turned to look at him with a tired smile, "Don't worry, I'm alright."

"If you fall again you're going to bed even if I have to carry you upstairs and tie you to the bed."

She glared at him but he just held her gaze, eventually she turned away and moved to the table with the lyrium potions on it. Zev was surprised by how few were left. He strolled over to Naveen to see how he was doing. The boy's eyes were glazed and he was slurring his speech. He heard Cearo a couple beds away and she didn't seem to be much better.

They were all so very screwed but neither of the mages could have any more, they we going to be having a toxic reaction for days as it was. At least that was all he hoped would happen. Naveen's skin looked a little grey; Zev just hoped he hadn't taken in too much for his body to survive. He reached into Naveen's pockets and pulled a lyrium flask from each.

"No more of this."

Naveen looked at him with unfocused eyes, "Wha?"

"No more, you're going to be sick as it is, much more and you're going to be the one needing a healer."

"But."

"I know, they're just going to have to wait, heal who you can while that lasts, but after that you need to stop and go to lie down immediately, on one of the cots in here so we can keep an eye on you."

Naveen grimaced but nodded. Cearo wasn't as easy; she threatened to set Zevran on fire until Zev pointed out it would just be one more person she would need to heal. After arguing for a few minutes she nodded and agreed, though she didn't look pleased.

Zev felt fatigue pulling at him but concentrated on everything happening around him. Everyone else had their own things they were working on and so were missing others that were important. He was mostly worried about Sareyna, he and Alistair had both been sleeping fairly well, but she had fought sleep off tooth and nail for days and then when she finally passed out from exhaustion she was only asleep for a couple hours before Flemeth invaded her dreams and Anders had pulled her out of the Fade.

That was yesterday, Zev sighed, really only yesterday, it seemed like it had happened decades ago and perhaps to someone else. The constant threat of attack from so many fronts had exhausted his beautiful Warden, but she fought off sleep, could anyone blame her? She felt like they would never be safe. Fighting Darkspawn was one thing, but them against the world was a bit too much for anyone.

She stumbled again and he almost went to her, but she caught herself and carried on as if nothing had happened. She looked a little worse for wear; her ponytail long ago became loose hanging down her back now. Her armor was coated in blood and there were even a few smears of blood on her forehead where she had used the back of her hand to wipe away sweat.

He wandered over to check on Whitney again she was still moaning quietly but more of the skin around her neck had been healed. He was a little startled when she spoke.

"Zev?" she tried sitting up but he gently pushed her back down.

Zev knelt down beside her, "Whitney, you've been injured, you need to lay down."

She closed her eyes for a minute, "Am I dying?"

He tried to ignore the raspy, gravelly sound of her voice. "No, you're going to be fine."

"Are you sure? I hurt so bad, please don't lie to me." Her eyes flickered back open to watch him.

"The truth is that you were hurt very badly, we thought you might not make it. But Cearo was able to heal you enough that you are in no immediate danger of dying. And I know it hurts, there were so many people who needed to be healed she had to conserve her mana."

Her eyes drifted closed again and he thought she had fallen asleep and began to turn away. Seeing those dark blue eyes in her burnt face was disconcerting. But as he stood and started to turn her eyes suddenly opened again.

"Alistair…is the Lieutenant alright?"

Zevran nodded, "He's fine, whatever was happening to him stopped when Flemeth left."

Her eyes widened, "We didn't kill her?"

Zevran shook his head, "No, she took off before we could."

She was quiet for a moment before she looked back to him. "I hear a lot of noise, how bad is it?"

"It's not good. There were a lot of injuries. We lost Druce and I think it was about a dozen Keep Soldiers."

"Sweet Maker."

"Are you alright, do you want me to give you something for the pain?" He pulled out a very small flask, some of the numbing potion.

She nodded, "Please."

He opened it for her and tipped it into her mouth slowly so she could swallow it in her prone position. "There, I'll be back around in a few minutes, I need to check on some of the other people who are in a lot of pain."

"If I was hurt so badly why did Cearo heal me instead of Anders?"

"Well he," His head jerked up as there was another loud crash towards the front of the Keep. He took off, it was 'Reyna he could see her black hair. Alistair was kneeling beside her gently trying to wake her up. Zev waived him off, "She's just exhausted, they need you down here. I can take her upstairs to bed so she's out of the way."

Alistair looked unhappy but didn't argue, "Are you coming back down?"

Zev nodded, they needed all the help they could get still. Not to mention he wanted to keep an eye on everything and everyone. He needed to keep an eye on Naveen and Cearo especially in case they started to show signs of Lyrium poisoning.

"Then lie her down with Anders. Shannon's in there watching him, she can keep an eye on 'Reyna too."

"Good idea." Zev scooped her carefully off the floor and headed for the stairs, he could hear a servant scurrying behind him already picking up the few things 'Reyna had dropped. He climbed the stairs slowly, the fatigue in his legs protesting the extra weight he was carrying.

When he reached Anders' door he kicked on it. Shannon was quickly pulling open the door and when she saw 'Reyna in Zev's arms she paled.

"Oh, no, no that's not right. Oh, mercy." She closed her eyes as she swept aside out of Zev's way.

"It's alright Shannon; she's just exhausted. She'll be fine after some sleep." He moved into the room and carefully laid her on the bed next to Anders. He pulled off her boots as Shannon came over and started working the buckles free. Between the two of them they had her out of her armor in moments. There were a few places where the blood had seeped through and stained her tunic and trousers, but there was nothing to do about it now.

He carefully pulled the covers down, working them out from under her and covered her up. He then turned back to Shannon, "Do you mind? Alistair didn't want her alone."

She nodded, "Not at all, you can't blame the poor man."

Zev gave her a little smile and it faded slowly, "Any change?"

She face fell, "No, nothing. Do you think he'll wake up?"

"I know that Alistair and Sareyna won't ever give up. And if I know them he'll be up and around in no time."

She laughed a little, "I didn't realize Alistair had rubbed off on you so much that you were selling his rainbow colored optimism."

"I can't afford anything else right now. After all this I have to believe he's going to be alright."

Shannon bowed her head, "I meant no disrespect."

"I have to get back."

"How are they all?" She looked nervous.

"It's a work in progress but it's going much better."

She nodded and he turned and left the room eager to get back to the Main Hall.

* * *

Sareyna recognized the sun dappled grove. She sat down and buried her head in her hands and let out a small sob. Every part of her was tired and strained; she had nothing more to give. She was empty, hollowed out and here she was, in the Fade waiting for whatever new threat Trelain wanted to tell her about. "No more, I just can't."

His voice came from behind and it was soft and sad. "I wanted to keep you here while you slept, let you feel a little safe at least. I can feel how tired you are mother, and I am sorry. But, we both need to do something else first. We need to find Anders."

She had stood and turned to look at him when he began speaking. "Anders is in his room."

Trelain shook his head, "I can feel him here in the Fade, he feels lost and scared and everything is very, very dark. I cannot find where he is from here. I need you to take me to him; I can follow him from there and help him back."

"So she did to him what she did to Morrigan?"

"No, he's still tethered to his body, but she dampened his senses. He cannot see or hear, he cannot even feel so he cannot get back." He was quiet for a moment. "It would be good if we hurried, there is something wrong with him, he's panicked and not just scared but terrified. I do not know why, it does not seem that he is in danger."

Sareyna nodded, "Wake me up, I'll get you. Anders hates feeling trapped, especially in dark places."

* * *

Sareyna awoke and sat up slowly. She was surprised to find herself in Anders' room, Shannon hovering over her and Anders lying beside her. Well that would make some new fodder for Keep gossip, three instead of two now. She gave a weak smile trying to reassure Shannon. As she started to stand up Shannon went pale.

"You get back in that bed, you passed out and you've been in here for less than half an hour."

"I can't, I need my son. Do you know where he is?" And there was another one for the gossips; it seemed she never knew where her son was.

"He's with Eveleen in her rooms."

Her head spun for a second but she managed to make it to the door. As she came down the stairs Zev was striding towards her looking angry. He opened his mouth to send her back to bed she was sure but she didn't have the time or energy to fight with him.

"I need Trelain. He says he can help Anders but we need to bring him to Anders." Tears welled in her eyes a little, she was too emotional when she was tired, but she knew how much Anders not only hated, but feared being trapped. "He's trapped in the dark Zev; we need to get him now."

Zev's breath had hitched a little she wasn't sure if it was relief because they could get Anders or concern because he understood better than any of them how bad Anders was with being trapped, either way he calmed immediately. "Go back upstairs, I'll get Trelain, I can't have you passing out carrying him."

"Right now Zev."

Zev got a little short with her, "Don't you think I know that?"

Yeah, that was stupid, she knew he would hurry; she wasn't even sure why she had felt the need to say it. She turned and scurried back up the stairs. She went back to Anders' room and sat on the bed waiting for Zevran.

"Zev's bringing him. He was afraid I would drop him."

Shannon nodded, "You look ready to drop again any moment."

The door opened and Zevran was there holding Trelain who was already surrounded by purple magic. He carried him over to the bed and laid the toddler down between Sareyna and Anders. Nothing happened at first and Sareyna was worried Trelain wouldn't be able to bring him back.

"What now?"

Zev sat on the bed next to her, "Now we wait."

It was almost five minutes before anything happened. As they watched the field surrounding Trelain expanded and encompassed Anders as well. Then there was nothing and the minutes seemed to stretch out to eternity. Sareyna felt her stomach knot tighter with each passing minute.

It had been nearly twenty minutes when Anders' eyes fluttered open. He looked at Zev and then 'Reyna, then Shannon and finally Trelain. His eyes were surprised but he had yet to speak and it worried Sareyna, maybe she was just paranoid, but after all Flemeth had put them through it seemed possible she had done something terrible like take his voice away.

"Are you alright?"

He nodded, "Trelain found me and helped me get back." He chuckled almost nervously, "Your toddler saved my life." His laugh bubbled up again.

Zevran picked Trelain back up and headed for the door. "I'm going to take him back to Eveleen. And Anders, if you're feeling alright they really need you downstairs."

Anders nodded and turned just as Sareyna wrapped her arms around him for a hug. "I was so scared for you. Are you really alright?"

Shannon stood and slowly left the room.

Anders hugged her back and kissed her cheek, "Yes, I really am alright, a bit wound up. I'm not the best with dark places, but I'm here and I'm whole." He released her, "What's going on downstairs?"

"That's where all the injuries are. Whitney, Elswyth, Sigrun and Captain Garavel are going to need you. Whitney first." She sighed, "That poor girl is so badly burnt you probably won't even recognize her."

"Oh, I better get going."

"I'll come with you."

He looked her over for a minute then nodded his head as he swung his long legs out of the bed.

"Cearo and Naveen did what they could, but neither of them can manage what you do. They went through most of the Keep's Lyrium just trying to keep people alive."

Anders paused in the hall, "What do you mean most of the Keep's Lyrium?"

"Just that, the servants went into all of the rooms, except the one Zevran works in, and brought down all of the potions, including lyrium."

Anders closed his eyes, "Idiots. They could kill themselves; at the very least they are going to be very, very sick for a while. I better hurry up and get down there." He opened his eyes and pulled Sareyna into another hug. "And 'Reyna, I'm really sorry." With that she felt a wave of tiredness pushing at her like a relentless tide.

* * *

Anders had barely made it off the landing when Alistair was crushing him in a hug. Well that answered that question, clearly the warrior was fine. Anders hugged him back, a little embarrassed by the affection.

When Alistair let him go he glanced up the stairs, "Where's 'Reyna, Zev said she was awake again?"

"She's sleeping. I put her to sleep, she clearly needs it. And Trelain said he would keep watch over her in the Fade so she would be safe."

"Trelain?"

"Yes, it's a long story, and I don't really have time right now. Where is Whitney?"

Alistair looked chagrined, "Right, sorry, follow me."

Sareyna had been right, other than a few tufts of her pretty auburn hair she was almost unrecognizable.

"We've been giving her stuff for the pain, but…"

Anders nodded, he knelt down beside Whitney who was now looking at him and seemed pretty lucid. "I'm going to heal you now Whitney, but before I do I need to tell you a couple things. The first is that you've lost your hair and I can't make it grow back. It might never grow again."

Whitney nodded.

"And it's going to hurt when I heal you. Normally, I can dull the pain a bit but the area that needs to be healed and the number of nerves that need to heal is too high for me to stop it all. I'll do my best."

She nodded again and Anders stood opening his palms and calling on the spirit of compassion that helped him. He felt the spirit's pain and urgency at seeing Whitney. He sent a thought to her, _"Slowly, or we'll leave too much scarring."_

Slowly he began to heal the girl, starting with her face, stitching together the places where it had been burnt nearly to the bone. Whitney was silent, even though it must have been agony. The only sign that she felt any pain were the tears that leaked from her eyes. He couldn't believe how well she had taken the news and how well she was handling the pain, she was amazing.

Alistair was watching from beside Anders, "Wow, Anders, that's amazing."

Anders just nodded, all of his focus on Whitney if he wanted her to be healed properly. He was having a hard enough time focusing through the spirit's pain at seeing someone in such a state. It was the price a Spirit Healer had to pay, they will help you but you feel what they do.

It was the real reason so few mages became healers. The pain and despair was just too much for them. Anders almost liked it, those feelings everytime you healed a person made you remember that it was a person you were working on. You couldn't become jaded or ambivalent about your patients, it was impossible. Not to mention the pain was followed by euphoria when they finished healing someone.

He took his time with Whitney; she deserved all of his attention after what she had clearly gone through. It was nearly an hour later when he finished. He looked her over carefully, "How do you feel?"

She sat up slowly, "Stiff from laying here for so long and very tired, but the pain is completely gone." She swallowed slowly, "How bad is it?"

"I would suggest shaving you're head if it was me, most of the hair was burned off. You have short little charred nubs instead of hair."

"Will it grow back?"

"I honestly don't know. The follicles are there and they seemed whole and intact, but hair is already dead so it's difficult to tell if it's viable."

She looked herself over, "I don't see any scars?"

"I didn't leave any; your skin is as unblemished as it was before the fight."

Whitney's eyes teared again, "It seems so petty I know, but thanks Anders, really thank you." She stood up and hugged him and there was a smattering of cheers and clapping when she did so.

He patted her on the back gently, "You should sleep, maybe eat first but you are going to be very tired for a couple of days, your body worked hard to heal you."

Whitney let him go and nodded, she looked at him for another long minute before she headed for the kitchens. Anders turned to find his next patient. The spirit was eager to end the pain she felt in the room. He found Sigrun next and she gave him a small smile, Karina sat on the floor beside her.

"Hey there handsome, going to play with my body?" She gave him a wink and her lover chuckled.

He started mending her broken bones, "How did you manage to get so many broken bones?"

"Well you see, I decided to take up flying and the dragon was more than happy to give me a lift with her tail. Sweet woman really," She laughed and winced, "anyway, apparently my steering is a bit off, I hit the Keep wall." She paused for a moment, thoughtfully, "I'll have to remember to commend Voldrik on his craftsmanship," She looked back to Anders, "I was hoping to make it to at least the ramparts but I was about five feet too short," she giggled again, "short," she snorted. "And I have to tell you, the ground around the Keep is bloody hard."

Anders shook his head listening to her. She really was a fantastic woman, he was glad she was happy, which she clearly was, she practically glowed when she looked down to her lover. Her bones knit back together quickly and he stepped away. "You're going to be sore for a few days." He turned to look at Karina, "No sex or combat training for 2 days."

Karina smiled, "Yes, ser, I'll make sure she complies."

Anders nodded, "Good and don't call me ser, just Anders." He gave her a little wink before he started looking for either Elswyth or Garavel. He found Garavel first; he gritted his teeth when he saw the man's legs. They were crushed and it looked like his pelvis was as well. He could see where Cearo had healed the man to keep him alive but it was hasty so he thought he might fix that as well.

He felt his mana running low and looked around to find where they were putting the lyrium. The spirit pushed at him to heal Garavel first. She promised to give him more so he wouldn't hurt himself; she just couldn't stand to see the poor man staring at the remnants of his legs so morosely.

Garavel looked up and gave him a small smile, "It's never good when the healer looks worried. I'm really not going to walk again am I?"

"Actually, I was just worried I didn't have enough mana left to heal you properly." He looked up again and spotted the table with the lyrium, but the sprit became more insistent. He decided to see if someone would bring it to him so he could start healing and appease the spirit's distress. "Lyrium please?"

With that he turned back to Garavel, "I wish I could tell you that this is not going to hurt. I'll do my best to manage your pain, but your bones are actually pulverized in some places. That much damage makes it impossible to control the pain completely, alright?"

"Will I walk again?"

Anders gave him a bit of a cocky smile, "Walk, run, fight, fuck, you'll be able to do it all."

Garavel smiled back, "I'm holding you to that Anders." He reached up and touched Anders' hand lightly, "Maybe you'll be able to help me get my strength back sometime?"

Anders smiled, that was certainly a surprise, he never thought of Garavel as someone who would fancy men. Then he paused, did Garavel just proposition him or did he plan on kicking Anders' ass in the training yard. Oh well, either way it might be fun. "We'll see how good of a patient you are."

A servant had appeared beside him holding a tray with several flasks of lyrium on it. "The Lieutenant says I am to stay with you ser."

Maker, he hated being called ser, "Thank you." He opened one and drank it down; the spirit's need to fix Garavel was drowning him. As soon as it was empty he went to work. It took a while and Garavel ended up crying out a couple of times from the pain, but for the most part he was very good about it.

He shuddered when Anders finished with his bones and began on his organs. "The bones moving, scraping against each other, that's an awful feeling."

"I've heard that a lot."

Garavel sat silent for a while and Anders could feel the man's eyes on him. When he was done he stepped back and Garavel smiled at him again, "So was I a good enough patient?"

Anders chuckled, "Sure."

Garavel stood and began to walk gingerly past him, "Good, I know where to find you."

The timbre of his voice sent a shiver down Anders' spine. Anders closed his eyes for a moment; there was no doubt about it now. A man Anders had barely looked at before now had his attention and he suddenly very much needed to bed the man, preferably soon. He opened his eyes searching for Elswyth, at least one decent thing had happened today. Anders thoroughly enjoyed being flirted with.

Elsywth was sitting up on her cot, arms wrapped around her knees looking as pleasant as ever. "Took you long enough."

"Ah good, then my plan to irritate you worked perfectly. Now put your arms and legs down so I can see your injuries."

She glared at him for another moment before she uncurled. He found there were a lot of burns on her body, mostly her extremities but there was a bad one on her neck as well as the one he had seen running up the left side of her face. He started healing her and she let out a low sigh.

He smiled at her, "Glad it doesn't hurt too much."

Elswyth just nodded.

"Is there a reason you keep acting like this towards me or is it just a natural state for you. I see you talking and laughing with other humans, so that's not the problem. And you spend a lot of time with Naveen so it's not because I'm a mage. Just what is it?"

She shook her head and remained silent for a long time. She went to open her mouth several times only to close it again, finally she gave a big sigh, "Am I really so ugly Anders?"

Anders scowled, his magic still flowing over burned skin. "Ugly, no you're actually quite pretty. Those hazel eyes of yours are absolutely gorgeous."

"Yet, I seem to be the only person in the Keep that you're not interested in sleeping with."

Anders chuckled, "Seriously, this is all about the night I wouldn't let you come in?"

He saw the servant girl following him looking nervously at the ground clearly not wanting to be part of the conversation.

"You make is sound like such a little thing, so petty."

"Well darling, it kind of is petty. You could always have asked again if you were that interested."

"You go to everyone else, but I should ask you?"

"Actually, a lot of people here approach me." Anders let that linger in the air for a moment; it kind of bothered him a little that he had the reputation of bedding everyone in the Keep, of course the tower had been no different so why should it bother him now? But it was more than that too. She was being so childish, "You know what, on second thought Elswyth, maybe you were right the first time. I'm not interested."

Anders healed the girl and ignored the rest of her glares and complaints; he really had no time or patience for her pettiness. When he finished he glanced around to see that most of the rest of the patients seemed fine. Since there was no one in immediate danger he decided to wait for some of his mana to return rather than down another lyrium potion. From what he had been told they were low enough on lyrium as it was.

He headed towards the main doors and walked outside the Keep for a bit of fresh air. The smell of burnt flesh, burnt hair and blood clung to the main hall, the stench thick and inescapable. The cool breeze felt good as he walked down the steps but his relief was short lived.

From off to his right he heard retching and turned to see Naveen bracing himself with one hand against the Keep, doubled over as he retched again and again. With a sigh Anders moved over to him, "Are you alright?" The boy practically jumped out of his skin at the sound of Anders' voice and he couldn't help a small chuckle.

"Uh, yes ser."

Anders looked him over quickly, his skin had an unhealthy grey pallor, his eyes were over bright and the poor boy was covered in sweat. "Too much lyrium, I wish I had good news for you but it's going to get a lot worse before it gets better. You should get into bed. I'll send someone to check on you in about an hour."

"But there are still people that need healing." The boy was earnest and open faced and Anders suddenly felt very old.

"Let me handle them, there's nothing I can do for you now and if you drink any more lyrium you might end up killing yourself." Anders paused thoughtfully, "On second thought before you head to bed find Zevran. Tell him you have lyrium poisoning and see if he has anything to help. If he does have Cearo take it too, then I want the both of you in bed."

Anders turned away, not bothering to check if the other mage listened to him. He needed some air, some space. His time in the Fade had left him unsettled. He had wondered repeatedly if that was how it felt to be in a coffin or maybe just dead. If it was, Anders was opting out thank you very much. And now he was as afraid of his dreams as 'Reyna had been of hers. None of them were safe anymore.

Even when he came back there had been nothing other than light that made him feel it was better than being in the Fade. His family, by blood and from the brotherhood of the taint in their veins was laid low. For half a moment he had been proud that they needed him so much.

But seeing Whitney so disfigured and in so much pain had quickly swept his ego aside. He hadn't seen Morrigan or Nathaniel and their absence suddenly seemed very important. Afterall, Morrigan was his sister and Nathaniel had saved his life. Without another thought he turned on his heel and took long strides across the courtyard and back into the stench and pain of the aftermath of battle.

He scanned the room slowly and spotted Nathaniel in a cot in the back of the room with Ser Pounce-A-Lot curled up on his chest. Anders wasn't sure he wanted to think about the full implications of that, but it did make the urge to get to the man a lot stronger. He was at Nathaniel's side in a moment, a faint flicker of his mana spiraling down his arms and across Nathaniel's pale and too still form. He gasped in surprise; the man was missing a massive amount of blood.

Honestly, he wasn't sure how Nathaniel was still alive, but Anders was grateful. He thought perhaps Pounce might have something to do with it, but he had come not to question his cat's abilities, just to be grateful for them. The only wound he found was a small puncture that looked to be from an arrow wound in his thigh, but it wasn't near an artery or anything so there was no reason for him to have suffered such blood loss. Wanting answers he scanned the room again and spotted Alistair who wasn't too far away from him. Anders quickly crossed the room to speak with him.

Anders couldn't shield the anger he felt, "What the Void happened to Nathaniel and where is Morrigan."

Alistair looked uneasy before he answered, "Uh, Morrigan used blood magic on Flemeth, and she didn't use only her own blood."

Anders scowled, "And you allowed that?"

Alistair shook his head sadly, "Of course not. I wasn't exactly…cognizant during the battle. You weren't the only one incapacitated. She took me completely out and blinded Zev. And as I understand it both Naveen and 'Reyna tried to stop her but she was unresponsive, 'Reyna even slapped her."

Anders felt the blood leaving his face as Alistair spoke. "Are you and Zev alright?" He cocked his head to the side, "You both seem fine."

Alistair nodded, "Shook up, but otherwise fine. And Zev's eyes ache but he says they're getting better so I suppose he's fine too."

Anders looked over to Nathaniel again, "I'm not sure he's going to wake up from this. He's worse than 'Reyna was. Has anyone attempted to feed him?"

"Honestly, we've just been monitoring him. There were too many other injuries to deal with."

Anders sighed, "So I take it Morrigan did the same thing to herself, where is she though?"

He didn't miss it when Alistair hesitated again. He wasn't even sure Alistair was going to tell him for a moment, but then reluctantly he started speaking. "She's weak, though not as much blood loss as Nathaniel. I'm not sure where they took her though. The other Wardens were really upset about what she did to Nathaniel so they were going to move her."

"I need to find where she is, see if there's anything I can do for her."

"It's more than just blood loss. Flemeth dislodged her spirit and threw it in the Fade."

"So we find it and bring her back, but first I need to see her condition. And we need to find a way to get Nathaniel to eat; hopefully better then how I fed 'Reyna."

Alistair suddenly stepped forward and pulled Anders into a tight hug again. "I'm so glad you're alright. I was really scared that she might have done to you what she did to Morrigan." Alistair released him and took a step back to look at him. "And I bet Cearo and Naveen were never so happy to see someone in their lives."

Anders felt a small smile curve his lips, "It's nice to know I'm appreciated."

Alistair grinned at him and Anders let his smile widen a bit in response, "I'm going to see if anyone knows where they moved her to."

"Zev probably knows, he's been bossing everyone around for a while now."

Anders turned, already preparing himself for whatever state he might find Morrigan in. After talking to Zev he found that they had moved Morrigan to Eveleen's suite, in the room Trelain sometimes slept in. Alistair had been right, she was weak but it was nothing compared to what she had done to Nathaniel.

A low dark fury rolled through Anders. He had warned her again and again about using blood magic and she had arrogantly pushed his concerns aside as if he was some novice, a scared mage with no real knowledge of blood magic or the Fade. Yet, lying ashen and pale, fighting for his life lay the man that Morrigan loved. And his likely death would be laid squarely at her feet.

Anders shoved the angry thoughts away; he had a job to do. His magic swept over her, just the faintest hint of it to see what else he could find besides the blood loss. He felt as though his stomach dropped onto the floor. It was so much worse than Alistair thought.

Anders honestly had no idea how Morrigan was still alive at all either, but for an entirely different reason. Flemeth had not only dislodged Morrigan's spirit, she had disconnected it completely from her body. Morrigan had no way to get back, no tether to follow. And with no connection her body should have shut down completely, should have collapsed and died as soon as it happened. It seemed once again Flemeth had thrown a surprise at them.

As soon as Naveen and Cearo were feeling better he was going to need them to help him look for Morrigan in the Fade, otherwise she would die. He wondered how hard it would be to convince the other two to help him. They, after all, had seen Morrigan turn on her lover, on another Warden, nearly killing him in the process. They were bound to be angry, and rightfully so. But Cearo was a bit of a healer so hopefully she would understand and together they would try to convince Naveen.

Now that he had a plan in place to help her all he had to do was figure out the best way to deal with 'Reyna when she woke up. No doubt he would feel the burn of her wrath when she realized he had used a spell to put her to sleep. And though she needed the rest, dealing with the aftermath of it would be entertaining to say the least.

* * *

It was hours later when Anders heard Zevran come up behind him. "Bello, how long has it been since you slept?"

Anders turned with a smile, "I was sleeping right before I came down to help heal everyone."

Zevran glared at him a little bit. "You weren't really sleeping, you know that. I believe it is time for you to rest."

Anders didn't miss a beat. "When will you rest?"

Zevran looked as if he was about to argue but he suddenly sighed very tiredly. "I will sleep when Sareyna awakens. I sent Alistair to bed about three hours ago, Oghren, Sigrun and a couple others are checking the perimeter of the Keep for any damage or any signs of Flemeth. Garavel sent many of the soldiers to sleep as well. We're going to rotate as we can until everyone has rested properly."

Anders shook his head, "No, I'm not going to bed."

"Don't be ridiculous, everyone has been healed, there is no reason for you to still be awake."

"Find something else for me to do, Zev. I'm not going to bed and I'm not arguing about it."

Zevran reached up and ran light fingertips across Anders' brow. Anders pulled away from the touch, Zev had no right to touch him so tenderly anymore, had no right to an ease of affection he had pushed aside in favor of his brother. He caught the hurt look on Zevran's face; it would be too easy to forgive him, too easy to pretend that Zevran had not hurt him when he had turned away from him.

"_I think I could have loved you."_ The thought was a hollow echo inside his head, and he quickly shoved it away, burying it in a hole so deep he hoped it would never see the light of day. There was always time for 'what ifs' later.

"Bello, she will not hurt you again." Zevran's voice was soft and Anders was sure it was meant to be reassuring.

"How can you be so sure? You don't even know what she did to me."

"I don't need to know, I can tell from the look on your face, that haunted look that has lingered behind your eyes all day that it was someplace dark and enclosed."

"I'm not going back." The words issued forth in a hiss, almost a curse from his lips.

"We all need to sleep. Rest while you can, who knows when you will be able again."

Anders closed his eyes for a moment before heading towards the stairs, Zevran was right of course, but it didn't make him feel any better. He rubbed his fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp as he walked, words a soft mumbled exhalation on his lips. "Here there be monsters."

He was surprised by Zevran's laughter, it was cold and dark, nothing like what Zevran usually sounded like. "Then, my sweet Bello, is it not a good thing that we are monsters as well?"

He paused on the steps to the second floor only long enough for a brief response, "I suppose it is."


	59. Chapter 59

**A Fool and Her Family Are Soon Parted**

And that was it; everything Sareyna loved had fallen into pieces, poisoned by that…monster. Morrigan lay in an unwaking sleep; Anders said her body couldn't wake up because her spirit was in the Fade. He and the other mages tried to find her for weeks but found nothing, not even a hint as to where to start.

Nathaniel was still recovering, Anders had allowed him to start eating solid food finally and he ate it like a starving man, but didn't speak. You could see him at all hours staring silently out of his window his face grim. And even when Anders let him leave his room he did not visit Morrigan.

Sareyna couldn't blame him. She still couldn't understand why Morrigan had done it. She had turned on the man who loved her and nearly killed him. Even if she had been protecting herself, it was a horribly selfish thing to do. Maybe she hadn't been the person Sareyna had thought her to be. Whichever it was, not even she had been able to visit Morrigan, lying as a corpse in her room.

Eveleen cared for her as best as she could, cleaning her and rolling her so she didn't develop bed sores. Anders found a spell to put her body in a form of stasis, but it had to be renewed periodically. He couldn't think of another solution being that she was unable to eat or drink anything. Without the stasis she would waste away to nothing before their very eyes.

Sareyna had tried to be calm and rational about everything, but everyday she felt angrier and more frightened. At the Keep Trelain was just a sitting duck; Flemeth knew where he was and where to find him and could come back at any time. It wasn't safe there and it didn't feel like home anymore.

All of the Wardens looked haunted and wary. Surely, they were thinking the same things she was, old and new Wardens alike. Alistair tried to calm her, to reassure her that they were safe with the others but she remembered just how useless they had all been against Flemeth. Sareyna doubted anything short of an army could stop Flemeth, and maybe not even that.

No, it was time they moved on, time to find some place safer for Trelain. When she had talked to Alistair and Zevran about it Zev had been quiet, seeming to think it over. Alistair was angry though, he didn't want to leave the life he was living. He had too much invested in it and they had an obligation as Wardens.

They had argued for over an hour before Sareyna had cracked. She loved Alistair, she wanted to be with him, in many ways she loved him more than even Trelain. But Trelain was just a child unable to defend himself against Flemeth and she just couldn't let Flemeth get a hold of him. If Trelain was as powerful as everyone seemed to think he was, it could never be allowed to happen.

"I am leaving Alistair, you can't change that; you can either come with me or not."

That had stopped him dead. "What?"

"You heard me, Ali." She had seen him blanch but she had to stand her ground.

"You…you can't. You're the Commander, not to mention my wife." He was floundering looking for something to grasp onto, some excuse to make her stay but they had already hashed through them all.

She stepped close to him her hands taking his into her own. "I love you, Ali. I want you to come with me; you have no idea how terrified I am right now that you'll make me leave on my own. But, Flemeth cannot get a hold of Trelain. Do you understand?" Her heart was pounding in her chest and she struggled to hold back tears, she couldn't let him see her weakness. He would use it to try to convince her to stay.

Alistair took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "I suppose that decides it then." He turned to Zev, "Will you come with us?"

Sareyna was so relieved she almost laughed, but the feeling was short lived. Zev was still just watching the two of them. She could see Ali was as worried as she was when Zev didn't immediately respond. He looked at both of them then sat heavily into one of the chairs.

"I am not foolish enough to think I will ever again find what I have with the both of you. And I am not foolish enough to think that we can get rid of Flemeth on our own. I do not know if I am ready to leave here. I have spent more years than you can imagine living on the road. I am not a young man and maybe my place is here helping the Wardens."

"No, Zev we need you." It was plea, a frightened appeal.

He smiled at her, "You don't need me, you never did. You both do fine without me."

"Is that your decision? You're going to stay?" Alistair looked like he was going to be sick. It had apparently never occurred to him that Zevran might not join them.

"No, I will think it over. I'm going to need a few days. Do I have that much time before you leave?"

Sareyna nodded, "Of course."

Zevran stood, "There are things I must do."

Alistair hesitated a moment, "Me too." He followed Zevran from the room.

* * *

Anders looked wary when he opened the door. "This looks serious."

"It is, can I come in?"

"You know you can come in anytime 'Reyna." He closed the door behind her.

She sat down on the sofa in his room and he sat down with her. She took his hand in hers staring down at his long fingers. She hadn't expected this conversation to scare her quite so much. The bond she had built with Anders was strong and she couldn't imagine her life without him. He was as important to her as Ali and Zev, just in a different way.

"This looks bad." His voice was quiet with just a hint of teasing in his voice.

"Trelain isn't safe here; the Wardens and Flemeth are both after him and know where he is." She looked up to his face, watched his warm honey brown eyes for a moment. "Ali and I are leaving with Trelain. We can't stay here; Flemeth can't get a hold of Trelain."

Anders looked ashen, "Oh."

"Will you come with us? Your phylactery is gone; you don't have to stay here anymore."

Silence stretched out for long moments and she felt her heart sink. It wasn't fair that she kept losing so much. "Please," she hadn't meant it to be a whisper, hadn't meant for her eyes to tear up but she couldn't stop it. "Please Anders, come with us."

He pulled her to him, holding her tight against him and stroked her hair, "Shh, it's alright."

But she could hear it in his voice, he wasn't coming with them. She tried again anyways, "I don't want to lose you. Come with us, please." After that she dissolved into sobs, she could feel his stiff posture, he wasn't changing his mind.

She clung to him for a long time, crying out not only her pain that he wasn't coming but her fear about Zev staying behind and all the stress she had been living with since Flemeth had attacked them at the Keep. When she finally pulled away from him, he gave her a small smile.

"Better?"

"No." She took a calming breath, "You're not coming, are you?"

"I probably shouldn't I mean, I'm an apostate. I would be just one more reason you would be hunted, just another added burden."

"But Trelain's a mage, and it's not like you would be randomly performing magic."

"'Reyna you know better, Trelain is a toddler, no one is going to be looking at him as being a mage." He brushed his thumb across her cheek, brushing away some of the residual moisture. "It's alright, I'm happy here."

"Can't you be happy with us? And Trelain is going to need someone to teach him to use his magic." It was a dirty trick and she knew it. In truth none of them knew if the boy would ever need to learn his magic, his soul, afterall knew how to use it quite well.

He sighed and she noticed how tired he looked. "I'll think about it, it's the best I can promise."

"It's better than a no."

She stayed with him and chatted for a while, trying to pretend that nothing had changed. But eventually she left to speak with Nathaniel. He was still cloistered in his room, rarely venturing to leave it even though Anders recommended short walks to build his strength back up.

He didn't come to the door when she knocked, but it wasn't locked. She sat down in a chair; he was still beside the window looking out into the distance. She wasn't sure what she had expected, he hadn't spoken to anyone in weeks. She needed him to pull himself together, she needed him now, the Wardens needed him.

She began slowly, "Nathaniel, it's good to see you out of bed."

No response.

Well that approach didn't work, maybe diving right in would be better. "Alistair and I are leaving the Wardens. You're going to be taking over as Commander."

Nathaniel whipped away from the window, "What?" His voice was raw and gravelly, even more so than usual.

"You heard me. We'll be leaving and you'll be taking over with Anders as your lieutenant." She knew he wouldn't like that, but Anders was the right person for it. No one else might understand it, but she knew Anders, knew how seriously he took the Wardens and since his last run in with the Templars he was dedicated and hardworking. Not to mention others found it easy to be around him and to take direction from him.

"You can't be serious." He moved away from the window and sat down on the bed.

"I am, if he decides to come with us Sigrun can be your second."

He was quiet for a moment, staring intently at the floor. He fidgeted a bit but didn't look up when he finally did speak. "What about Morrigan?"

Sareyna felt anger shoot through her. Morrigan had been both stupid and reckless, not to mention she had nearly killed a fellow Warden. "Morrigan's a damn fool. There's nothing we can do for her other than what we are doing."

He took a deep breath and looked up at her, "I meant, if Anders goes with you?"

She settled back down, "He can teach the spell to the other mages. She's still a Warden; we'll make sure she's looked after."

She saw the anger in him before he spoke, "That's what you want me to do? Look after the woman who tried to kill me? You can't really ask me to do that."

"So have Sigrun or Anders do it. Eveleen takes care of her mostly from what I understand."

"But I'm still expected to live under the same roof?" The raw tone to his voice was fading as he used it more, but it did nothing to dampen the anger in it.

"What do you want me to do Nathaniel? Put her in the barn?" Sareyna understood his anger, but they were obligated to look after Morrigan.

"It's a start. Maybe let the spell lapse."

"You want to kill her?"

"No, I just don't see a point in drawing this out. She's already dead. Her spirit is gone."

Sareyna rubbed her temples, her head was throbbing. "I'll take it under advisement."

He snorted then quieted again, he watched her. "No way to change your mind is there?"

She shook her head no.

"Very well, I will do as you ask. I'm tired Commander."

She stood and crossed to the door pausing just long enough to say, "Thank you, Nathaniel, take care."

He nodded and pulled up his legs to slip them under the covers.

* * *

Alistair watched Anders in the training yard. He understood the mage's anger; he had been beating the stuffing out of the training dummy in front of him for nearly an hour. He would pause occasionally take a few deep breaths and close his eyes, but inevitably he would sigh as he opened them again and resumed his attack.

Alistair crossed to the training yard and climbed up onto the fence. "Are you alright?"

Anders turned on him in a flash, "Do I fucking look alright?"

"No, I suppose you don't."

Anders sighed, the anger dissipating from his gaze. He walked to the fence and leaned against it. "How about you?"

"The same, I'm just not thinking about it, if I do I'm going to lose it. This is who I am, this is our home, I don't want to leave." His heart ached and he couldn't look at Anders anymore. "This is our family."

"We can find a way to fix this; you're safer here where we can help you. What is she thinking?" His hands tightened on the railing, his knuckles turning white.

Alistair climbed down and stood beside Anders, he could feel the anger rolling off the mage in waves. The air was thick with his magic; Anders had difficulty keeping his magic under control when his emotions were running strong. Alistair clapped him on the shoulder companionably hoping to calm him some.

"I don't know Anders, I really don't. But her mind seems made up."

"We have to find a way to change her mind." Anders' voice was uncharacteristically quiet and his gaze was on the ground, "You can't leave, we just…" his voice trailed off. Anders tipped his head back looking up at the sky.

It took a moment for Alistair to realize Anders was near tears. And he knew the feeling, he might not be as close to Anders as 'Reyna was, but Anders was his brother and it felt like they had just found each other, were just getting to know each other. He pulled Anders into a hug and after a moment Anders hugged him back. "I know."

Anders' voice was mumbled, "It's been nice to have a family, even if I wasn't exactly excited about the idea at first." He stepped back and gave Alistair a smile.

Anders' admission felt good. Alistair had hoped that the bond the two of them had slowly forged was as important to Anders as it was to him. The validation felt nice, and he really did feel like Anders was his brother even if they had only recently met. And he didn't want to leave Anders now and he didn't want to leave Morrigan, especially now that she needed them so much.

He loved 'Reyna but this was too much, his chest had been aching since he had reluctantly agreed to go with her. He almost felt like she was holding him hostage, he didn't have a choice because she was taking Trelain. He pushed the thoughts out of his mind because every time he thought about it he just became very angry and very bitter.

Alistair pushed his hand back through his hair, "I need a drink."

Anders gave him a small smile, "I think that sounds fantastic, do you still have that bottle of rum Maric sent you?"

He nodded, "Let's go relax." They both headed into the Keep to forget their frustrations.

* * *

Hiding in her office to get some peace, it seemed half the Keep was angry with her; Sareyna cringed when there was a knock at the door. Sighing heavily she called, "Come in."

Eveleen opened the door slowly and peeked around it at her.

Sareyna chuckled and gestured for her to come in, "Heard I was in a bad mood today, huh? Come on in, I won't bite I promise."

Eveleen came in and sat primly on the chair in front of Sareyna's desk. "I apologize my visit is not going to make your day any better I'm afraid."

"It's alright Eveleen; you don't need to be afraid to speak with me. I'm not in a bad mood; just a bit sad is all."

Eveleen nodded, "Ma'am, as you are aware there have been a number of attacks on the Keep since I have been here and it has been less than a year." She picked at her skirt and chewed on her lower lip.

"Yes, go on."

"I'm sorry ma'am, but I am not sure this is an environment I want to raise my child in. The Keep is dangerous."

"You want to go back to Amaranthine?"

Eveleen nodded, and then spoke quickly, "Sloan has expressed his wish to join me and my daughter."

"Unfortunately, that is not up to me. He needs to speak to Captain Garavel about being released from…Although, I might have an idea." She sat back in her seat; there was the question of what to do with Morrigan. "Would you be willing to continue looking after Morrigan if we transported her to Amaranthine with you? Sloan could be stationed there to guard her."

Eveleen smiled but it fell a moment later, "But the spell, how will we keep it going?"

"Let me worry about that. Does it sound like a good solution to you?"

"Yes, thank you and I'm sorry I couldn't stay to take care of Trelain. Perhaps there is someone braver than I am to take care of him, he's a sweet boy."

Sareyna nodded, this actually made things easier for her. She could still make sure Morrigan was taken care of but wasn't under Nathaniel's supervision and she wouldn't have to let Eveleen go when she left the Keep. "Thank you, and take care of yourself. Let either myself or Nathaniel know when you are ready to leave and we will have a cart bring you to the city."

Eveleen nodded as she stood and quickly left the office.

* * *

Three days later she was helping Eveleen load things into the cart while Anders tended to Morrigan. When the cart was all set Anders pulled Eveleen aside to go over what she was to do with the four blocks he gave to her. They were made of lyrium and as such no one could touch them directly, she would need gloves to pick them up and place them inside the room where Morrigan would be laid out.

He cast the stasis spell over Morrigan again before they left and assured Eveleen the blocks would work for several months and someone would bring her more before the spell could die out. As the cart took off both of them walked back into the Keep slowly, the first departure making it feel more real, their little family was really going their separate ways.

Once they were inside the door Sareyna saw Justice standing near the stairwell. When he saw them he nodded to Anders. Anders sighed heavily and looked at her and she felt her stomach drop.

"You're not coming with us, are you?" She kept her words quiet.

He shook his head, "There are too many reasons for me to stay. Protecting you is just one of them, there are still Darkspawn here to fight, and for once I'm going to do something I can feel good about, something I can be proud of." His lips twisted into a smile that looked just a little bitter, "But I'm going to miss you, all of you." And before she could speak he chuckled, "Who would have thought I would ever be the Theirin to stay here?"

She hugged him, "I'm going to miss you. I'll write, I promise."

"Of course you will. You're still going to need someone to complain about Alistair too."

She let him go and chuckled.

"So when do you leave?"

"Tomorrow."

"Anything from Zev yet?"

She cringed, "No, no one has even seen him since Ali and I spoke with him about us leaving. I'm worried he won't come back in time."

Anders smiled, "Don't worry, he'll be here. It's Zev; he knows what we're doing before we do half the time."

"I hope you're right." She didn't feel as confident as he apparently did.

"I am, now go upstairs and finish packing."

She cocked her head suddenly remembering. "Anders, if you're staying here I need you to come with me to my office, I have some paperwork I need you to sign."

He looked at her warily, "What kind of paperwork."

"Oh, just come upstairs."

He followed her and sat in the chair she indicated. She watched him fidgeting as she grabbed the papers from her drawer as well as a quill and ink. She slid the papers across the desk to him and watched as he snatched them up and read through them. She almost laughed as she watched his scowl deepen until he threw the pages down on the desk.

"Are you nuts? You can't make me Lieutenant; I don't know what the Void I'm doing half the time."

She smiled at him, "Maybe I am nuts, but I _can_ do this, and I am doing it. You're going to be good at it. Besides, you know Nathaniel, he'll take care of most everything because he doesn't trust anyone else to do it."

"This is punishment for not going with you, isn't it?" He was sitting back in his chair again but still looked agitated.

"It's not punishment; it's a show of faith."

He chuckled humorlessly, "It's another tie, binding me here."

"What? No, I didn't mean it that way, really I didn't Anders. I'm sorry, I didn't think of it like that, Maker I'm an idiot." Her stomach flipped and she felt nauseous, she never wanted him to feel trapped in the Wardens, she wouldn't do to him what the Circle had. "I can get Sigrun to do it."

"Wait, you really weren't trying to make sure I stayed here after you left?" He was watching her carefully.

"No, I really wasn't. As a matter of fact I'm half hoping you miss us so much when we leave that you decide to come after us." She smiled.

He laughed, "So maybe it was a scare tactic to get me to change my mind about coming with you."

"It wasn't, but if it works, I'll take it."

"Alright, I'll try it." He pulled the papers back towards him and grabbed the ink and quill. He started signing the documents, "Why does it feel like I'm signing my life away."

"I feel like that a dozen times a day."

He gave her a wry smile, "You're not very good at convincing me this title is a good thing."

"Think of all the men and women who will be impressed with your new title."

He grinned, "That's more like it." He finished signing them and pushed them back to her. "Now what?"

"Whatever you want, you outrank me now."

"Can I order you to stay?"

"No more than I could order you to come with me."

He raised a brow, "You never actually tried that with me."

"No, I didn't, your life is your own."

He stood up and held out his hand to her, walking part way around the desk. She stood and took his hand. "Thank you, 'Reyna." He tugged her hand briefly, "Come on, let's go play with the puppies. I think I could really use a puppy break about now, how about you? Especially since Pounce is out and about apparently."

She grinned and followed him to the kennel.


	60. Chapter 60

**The Rest Of Our Lives**

Anders opened his bedroom door, groggy and frustrated. It had taken him forever to fall asleep, the idea of Sareyna and Alistair leaving and the fact that he had consented to be Lieutenant had kept him awake for hours. But, when the door swung open he froze.

"Bello, may I come in?"

Anders nodded and stepped away from the door. "Yes, of course."

Zevran came in carrying a small wooden box. Instead of sitting on the couch in Anders' room he went directly to the bed. Setting the box down next to him he tugged off his tunic. Anders stayed by the door eyeing him warily.

"Uh, Zev what's going on?"

"I cannot come to see a friend?"

"You can, but" he gestured to the bed, "why are you on my bed and taking off your clothes?"

Zevran smirked, "It wasn't so long ago that you welcomed me into your bed."

Anders closed his eyes, "I'm really much too tired for games Zevran. And shouldn't you be getting ready to leave?"

Zev looked around the room. "You will stay?"

Anders nodded.

"But she asked you to go, did she not?"

"Yes, she did but there is still a lot of work to be done here." Anders finally moved away from the door realizing Zevran wasn't really looking for sex. He settled onto the bed next to Zev.

"I thought you would go." His smile had faltered, "You still surprise me Bello."

Anders gave him a small smile in return, "I do my best."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Enough, why are you staying here? We both know you would rather go with her. So why? Explain it to me." Zev's eyes were intense as he stared at Anders.

"If everyone who wanted to be with her went, there would be no one left here."

Zevran stood up quickly and paced around the room. Anders could do nothing but watch, Zev looked agitated, angry and Anders wasn't sure why. One thing he knew about Zevran though was that it was never a good idea to be the object of his anger.

"You play word games with me like I am a child." Zevran stopped pacing and pinned Anders is his gaze again. "I am old Anders, a lot older than any of you. The four of us, friends, lovers, it is something special. These things do not come easy and you would throw it away. For what?"

Anders closed his eyes; he could feel the tears stinging his eyes because Zevran was right. He knew that the bond between him and Sareyna was special. He knew that he would never find people like her or Alistair or Zev again. The world didn't really make people like them. His time in the Wardens was an anomaly, a fantasy and now it was ending.

He hadn't heard Zevran cross the room but he felt his hand tilting Anders' face up to look at him. "You are hurting, Bello. Why do you do this to yourself?"

Anders was suddenly angry. He was trying to do what was right here. He was trying to protect his family, to have one less group of monsters chase after them. For once he was sticking something through until the end. What he was doing was good, it was right but no one seemed to want to believe it. He opened his eyes and glared at Zevran even as a couple of tears spilled onto his golden lashes and then down his cheeks.

"Why? Because for once I am trying to do the right thing Zevran; I am trying to spare you from having to run from the Templars as well. I am trying to stay here and do my duty instead of running away like a coward like I have done all my life." Anders' voice was rising and he couldn't stop it. He was too hurt, too angry. "I am trying to be the man the three of you seem to think I am." Anders let his eyes close again as more tears spilled down his cheeks, "And you're all angry at me for it and it's killing me."

He felt Zevran's weight settle next to him on the bed. He pulled Anders' head down until it was on his shoulder. He stroked Anders' hair and just held him for a long time, giving Anders time to compose himself. When he felt calmer he lifted his head and wiped away the remnants of his tears.

When Zevran finally spoke again his voice was quiet, "I'm sorry Bello. I did not think, this thing has riled and unsettled me. I haven't been thinking clearly for days. But we're not angry you chose to stay, we're just sad because we will all miss you very much."

"So you are going?"

Zevran nodded, "I must go where my heart goes. I spent too many years pretending I didn't have one." He smiled, "Now that my years are short I cannot waste them on pride and duty. All there is for me now is my family." He blinked slowly, "Perhaps it is why I was upset, I feel I am losing a part of my family because you have chosen to remain behind."

"I have to do this, Zev."

Zev tucked some of Anders' hair behind his ear, "I know Bello, I know." He picked up the box he had brought in with him and opened it, "Let me give you a present before I leave?"

Anders felt uncertain, Zevran had just dragged him through a battlefield of emotions and he was feeling pretty raw. He wasn't sure he could handle any more emotional hiccups tonight. He needed to steel himself for tomorrow, for losing those he loved. "Like what?" He finally asked warily.

"You told me once you got tattoos to commemorate the times you escaped. Would you let me give you one for the time you stayed?"

Anders smiled a little, an ache in his heart, but also a warmth, a fondness for Zevran rekindled that he had been afraid might not come back after what had happened between the four of them. Sure he loved Zevran as one would a family member, but he hadn't liked him very much for the past few months.

Zevran seemed to notice the change and smiled back, looking almost relieved.

"I think I'd like that Zevran."

Zevran nodded, "A vine for each of us then, the four of us. And each time you look in the looking glass you can remember us and know we are thinking of you."

Anders was anxious for a moment about having his face tattooed. He was quite fond of his face the way it was, but with further reflection he liked the idea of a reminder of those he loved, of those who loved him even more prominent that that damned collar around his neck. "Yes, please."

* * *

She lay in the bed, her eyes closed but not able to fall asleep. Zev was still missing and she couldn't stop from worrying about him. He had never taken off like this before; maybe he was angry with them. Beside her Alistair was sound asleep; the man could sleep no matter what was going on around them. She didn't know whether to be happy for him or to strangle him for leaving her alone to fret in the dark.

She sat up a little when she heard a small noise, almost too quiet for her ears to make out. She waited and didn't hear anything else. She decided to get up to check it out anyway. It wasn't like she was sleeping. She slipped a dagger from beneath her pillow and slid out of the bed.

On silent feet she crept out into the sitting room. Her eyes scanned the room quickly not finding anything. She walked around the perimeter so she could check around the furniture without getting too close to it. When she still didn't find anything she closed her eyes and tried listening again. Her eyes flew open and her head jerked to the left as she heard soft breathing near the sofa.

As she got close to it she was shoved from behind. She snarled as she hit the couch, her unarmed hand was wrenched up behind her back and someone grabbed a fistful of her hair holding her so she couldn't see who it was that held her. But she didn't need to see him to know who it was, she could smell him.

Before she could speak though his accented voice caressed her ear, "Naked and armed, is it any wonder I love you, Querida?"

"Zev, let me go."

"No, I kind of like having you pinned under me." He nuzzled and kissed her neck before running the tip of his tongue around the shell of her ear.

She relaxed under him, "I was worried you wouldn't come back."

He let go of her and eased off her enough to flip her over before pinning her back down with his body. "No matter where you are I will always find you, do not doubt it."

She dropped the dagger as he kissed her, his hands running down her sides to hold her waist gently. It was gentle and sweet, unhurried and still tasted faintly of cinnamon. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him down to her, she wanted to feel all of him. His leather armor was cold against her flesh but she just wanted him closer.

He broke the kiss disentangling himself from her. Standing up he gestured for her to stay still. She watched as he slowly took off the armor piece by piece, followed by his tunic and leggings. He was so sexy, the fluid way he moved. He was as virile as Ali in his own way, just sleeker, more dangerous. She felt herself flush a little as she watched him.

When he was as bare as she he smiled and climbed back onto the couch. He pushed her thighs apart and bent down, placing a soft kiss on her mound. "I missed you." He gently pulled her labia apart, "the sight of you." He inhaled deeply, "the smell of you," he flashed her a grin then bent and pushed his tongue slowly inside of her.

She gasped at the feeling, his deliberate slow penetration, a single stroke into her. His tongue then made its way ever so slowly upwards and circled her clit. He pulled back and smiled again, "the taste of you."

"Zev," she spoke softly then hesitated, not sure what she was going to say.

"Hmm?" He was clearly distracted as he continued to lick her slowly, his tongue teasing her and lapping at her sex.

She didn't respond other than with moans. Maker, his tongue felt so good teasing her clit. Her back arched as he suckled her. Her fingers twined into his hair, as sparks of pleasure shot through her with every touch of his tongue. Zevran could tease with his tongue for hours on end and she nearly feared he was in such a mood tonight. But her fears were unfounded, he didn't seem interested in teasing her and he was quickly pushing her towards a shattering climax.

He paused to look up at her with a rakish smile. "Can you be quiet?"

Sareyna bit her lip and nodded. Apparently satisfied, he lowered his head again sucking her clit into his mouth as his tongue flicked rapidly against it. Sareyna's heels dug into the sofa as the pleasure continued to build in a tight knot. Zevran brought her close to the edge, teetering precariously and held her there, giving just enough stimulation that she didn't backslide but not quite enough to tumble.

She squirmed and writhed trying to find an angle to give her just the right touch to send her hurtling to her climax. But Zevran knew her body and he moved to make sure she was never able to quite find the release she so sought. It seemed like an eternity but it was only a few moments before he let just the lightest hint of his teeth graze her clit.

She bit her palm as her back arched and she shoved herself up into his mouth. Zevran let his tongue stroke in and out of her sex as she came, holding her breath so she wouldn't make too much noise and wake up Alistair. As she slid back down from her peak she let out the breath she had been holding, her body still shaking periodically and twitching from the feeling of Zevran's tongue inside her.

Zevran pushed himself up and looked at her, desire glowing in his eyes. He stretched over her and stroked her cheek. Gently, he settled himself between her thighs pushing into her slowly. She closed her eyes as he kissed her, the cinnamon taste of his breath mingled with her own taste on his tongue.

She liked the feel of his body, the hard flat planes of his chest against the softer curves of her own, his narrow hips pushing her own wider hips apart, his skin that always felt just a little too hot. Zevran usually preferred a slow easy pace to Alistair's more demanding one. And he reveled in showing her all the ways he could make her body sing for him. If Alistair was a prodigy, Zevran was a virtuoso.

But tonight he kept things simple, he held her and kissed her as he slowly made love to her. There were no unnecessary tricks, or pushing her body's limits. Sareyna enjoyed it, she wasn't sure if the two of them had ever enjoyed such a simple pleasure. And she would enjoy it for as long as she could, because with the sun came an answer, one she wasn't sure she was ready for.

She wanted to tell him that she loved him, but when she opened her mouth to speak he kissed her. The kiss both a clear request and ultimately a demand that she remain quiet, that she just be with him. And she understood it, craved it even. The two of them were so seldom alone; it was something to be cherished.

She wrapped her arms around Zev and tucked her face into his neck. The emotions of the last few weeks were overwhelming her, threatening to pour out from Zevran's gentle touch. She held it back, pushing everything but the feel of him and her love of him aside. Again and again it tried to crowd her, but Zevran's leather and spice smell did wonders to keep her grounded in his arms.

It was times like this that she wondered how things might have been different between the two of them if they hadn't been so jaded. If she had known what a sweet and noble heart lay under his callous exterior, would Alistair have been able to win her so easily? These thoughts were pointless; the truth was neither of them had been willing to admit even to themselves that these softer sides had even existed then.

Truly, it had been Alistair who had made them both willing to admit it to themselves, and ultimately to each other. They would never have come together without their warrior, would never have allowed themselves the luxury of love. But she was doing her lover a disservice, thinking about the man in the next room instead of the man in her arms making love to her.

She pulled him tighter, her arms hugging tight against his slender frame. Her hips rolled up to meet his stroke for stroke and his flesh became even warmer under her fingers. "Zevran," she whispered and he did not seem inclined to stop her so she continued, "I love you, Zevran."

He turned his head and kissed her in response, his pace finally picking up. He had an arm under her back holding her against him, his fingers tangled in her hair. Breaking the kiss, he dropped suddenly feverish kisses along her neck as he spoke to her in Antivan, his voice soft and full of passion. "Ogni anno per te, questi brevi anni tutte le restanti appartengono a voi. Dimmi che mi ami ogni giorno. Basta dire che tutti i giorni e io sono tuo schiavo disposto, per sempre il mio amore, per sempre e sempre.1"

She only caught parts of it in her haze, her Antivan was getting better all the time, but she still needed to think about it in order to translate it and right now she was just too preoccupied with the way he felt to concentrate on what he was saying, something about years and love and forever. But he shifted and she had no more time to contemplate it, his speed picking up again he was thrusting into her quickly now.

She kissed his shoulder, his sweat damp against her lips, its taste salty. She nipped him gently and he groaned. He tugged her hair lightly so she was looking at him again. He held her gaze making her skin tingle, making her sex clench. She gasped as her orgasm surprised her.

Zevran held her head still, "At me Querida, look at me."

She did, clutching at him, she needed more of him. She felt so starved for his touch even as she was filled and surrounded by him. She craved everything, needed it. Her orgasm was short but intense. Zevran watched her, stroking her cheek as he held her head still with the other hand, his hips still thrusting against her.

He held tight to her, his lips parting slightly, a soft intake of breath before he let out a long quiet moan. She felt his seed spill inside of her and locked her legs around his waist. She didn't want to get up, didn't want to move. She just wanted to lie on the sofa and bask. As he finished spilling himself inside of her he laid his head to rest on her shoulder.

They stayed that way; quiet and sated, but still needy, for long minutes. At length Zevran sighed and lifted his head. "We should go to him. It is not fair he sleeps alone."

Sareyna stared at Zevran for a moment, etching this moment in her mind in case there was bad news in the morning. Finally, she nodded and released her legs. Zevran dropped another kiss to her forehead before standing. She stood and walked behind him being careful to be as silent as Zevran was. She ached to ask him what he decided, but she wanted to be able to share this moment of intimacy with him, unspoiled by him telling her he was staying. So she kept quiet and let him lead the show.

He climbed silently onto the bed, barely moving the mattress and immediately climbed onto Alistair who jerked awake. Zevran silenced anything he might have said with a kiss. Alistair paused for only a moment before he grabbed onto Zevran, holding him tight, and rolled them both over to pin Zev beneath him. Ali reached for her and found she wasn't on the bed.

He lifted his head briefly and found her standing next to it still. "Come here," he growled at her.

She did as he bid and climbed onto the bed. His arm pulled her close; he turned his body and kissed her roughly, his lips bruising hers and his tongue probing her mouth deeply. When he pulled back she felt light headed and was more than happy to lay down when his touch guided her to do so.

He turned back to Zevran kissing him again, his hands tangling into Zev's hair. Zev moaned beneath him and writhed a little. Alistair suddenly pulled out of the kiss and jerked upright. "Wait." His brow was furrowed. "Where have you been?"

Sareyna bit her bottom lip trying not to laugh. Alistair's body always seemed to react before his mind shook off the fog of slumber. But Alistair was not amused, he looked angry. He climbed off Zevran whose face remained perfectly calm and unreadable.

"Well, where the Void were you? Didn't you think we might worry about you? No one has seen you in days."

Zevran pushed himself upright, "I needed to think, without," he gestured to Alistair and then Sareyna, "distractions."

Alistair's jaw tightened and Sareyna closed her eyes, he was going to ask and as much as she wanted to stop him, she needed to know the answer too.

"And what have you decided?" His voice was tight, controlled.

Zev looked uncomfortable and Sareyna was sure he had decided to stay. She would lose two out of three of the men in her life. She wanted him to keep quiet, to never say he wasn't coming; she thought it might break her heart. But, Alistair had other ideas.

"Well?"

"I love you both." He started.

Sareyna couldn't help it she knelt up and covered his mouth. "Don't say it please. I've had more than enough heartache for this week. I couldn't take anymore."

Zev moved her hand away and gave her a weak smile. "Then I guess it's a good thing I'm going with you."

She couldn't help herself; she flung herself at him, wrapped her arms around him and tackled him to the bed covering his face with kisses. It was childish but she was so ridiculously happy she had no other way to show it. She heard Alistair laugh softly behind her.

"Hey now, you want to share some of that, or am I supposed to just sit here and get jealous?"

Sareyna laughed as she lifted her head and kissed Alistair. He held her tight for several minutes enjoying the kiss before he let her go and broke the kiss. He cocked an eyebrow at her, "You smell like sex."

She giggled, "Yes, well. I missed Zev and I haven't slept since he left. I thought the least he could do was make up for lost time."

Alistair shook his head, "Selfish woman." He smiled and yawned; turning back to Zevran he bent down and kissed him, slowly and thoroughly this time. He broke the kiss when he started yawning again. He chuckled ruefully, "I think I might be too tired for 'I missed you sex'."

Zevran gave him a slow smile, "I might be persuaded to wait until morning, as long as you promise to make it up to me sufficiently."

Alistair bit his lip thoughtfully before grinning again, "I have a few ideas."

"Good, now let's get some rest. I expect lots of snuggling."

Zevran smiled at her, he turned on his side and curled around her, pressing himself tight against her back. "Of course, Querida."

* * *

It was still the pre-dawn hours when the three of them finished packing one of the carts with the help of a couple of the servants. Sareyna wrote out a quick note to Nathaniel and another longer one to Anders. She was afraid to say good-bye to them; afraid she would lose her nerve and end up staying. She let them both know that Zevran was safe and with them and that she would write again when she could.

Alistair had been unusually quiet as he rode the horse beside the cart. He barely looked up from the pommel of the saddle for hours. When they finally stopped to eat Sareyna helped him with the horses.

"Ali, are you alright?"

He lifted his head, "I thought I would die a Warden, slain in battle beside you or disappearing with you into the Deep Roads forever. I never imagined I would slink away in the dark of night like a coward."

"Ali."

He put up his hand, "I know we have our reasons, I understand, but it still feels wrong. Those people are our friends; part of me feels we would have been better off staying with them."

"I'm sorry." She murmured softly.

He inhaled deeply, "We both made our choices; we just have to learn to live with them now."

"I never meant…"

This time his voice was sharp when he cut her off, "Never meant what? Never meant to tear away the closest thing to a home we've had? Never meant to abandon the cause we pledged our lives too? Never meant to leave our friends to clean up our mess? Never meant to force me to choose between our child and the Wardens? Just what was it you never meant? Please, for the love of the Maker enlighten me 'Reyna, because right now I'm having a hard time being anything but angry with you."

Sareyna's eyes had teared up as he growled at her, she had no excuse, he was right. She had done all of those things and probably even more. All she could do was hope that he didn't end up hating her. "I'll leave you alone."

"That's probably for the best." He turned from her and went back to brushing the horses.

Sareyna wandered back to the fire where she had started water to boil for tea. Zevran walked up to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. He didn't speak and neither did she. She was sure that Zevran had expected Alistair's anger; he didn't seem surprised by it. She wished he would have warned her, she hadn't seen it coming.

As the minutes ticked by and Alistair didn't come to join them she turned into Zevran's arms and hugged him. "Is today really the first day of the rest of our lives?"

He kissed her temple, "Yes, but if you don't like it just wait; so is tomorrow, and the next day and the day after that."

* * *

1 Every year for you, these short remaining years all belong to you. Just tell me you love me everyday. Just mean it everyday and I'm your willing slave, forever my love, forever and always.

* * *

Keep an eye out for my Dragon Age 2 fic in The Relationships in Pieces Universe called My Lioness. Stars DA2 cast with Cameo's from RIPs cast.


End file.
